Editing Mushi Uta:Volume 10 Chapter 2 (section)

== 2.02 Kanon Part 2 ==

Just by knowing the full moon would come tonight, the usual family restaurant was enveloped in a strange atmosphere.

Although people gathered there like every morning, they were oddly quiet. They suddenly started clamoring again come noon, but then went silent as if recalling it was wrong.

“Mngh…”

Cheeks stuffed full of carbonara, Kanon frowned while seating alone at the four-person table and failing at using the fork to eat pasta.

When Kanon looked at other tables from time to time someone would always look back. Rather than being worried caretakers like always, they all seemed more like they were surveilling today.

''Please come back quickly, Tama-chan…!

Kanon mumbled mentally after looking away.

Yesterday, Tamaki had said to “leave it to me”, but made no appearance yet. Of course, it was still only noon, so very likely she was still at school.

“K-Kanon wonders if this is really alright…”

Kanon did not have to courage to lie as well as Tamaki.

Tamaki said there was not even any need to lie, but was that true?

“…”

Another turn of the head.

This time the others averted their eyes. Perhaps not wishing to hurt Kanon, they pretended to not notice anything.

Seeing that behavior that could even be called servile was a bit relieving.

Right, that meant that as long as there wasn’t decisive evidence of the lie, it was probably fine. If tonight’s full moon was a success, there would be peace for another full month.

No, not just for a month, but forever—

“They’re the ones who wanted to believe this lie, so Kanon’s not the one at fault, yup.”

Kanon mumbled and nodded many times.

“Or maybe Kanon’s just lucky? Kanon never even thought about what to do after running away from home…”

Thinking about it now, this wasn’t just being lucky, but more like winning the lottery.

After running away from home, Kanon ended up penniless, hungry and surrounded by Mushitsuki. At the time it seemed like quite the misfortune, but it led to the reunion with a precious childhood friend, and now Kanon had food, clothes and shelter without any worries.

To keep living.

To protect this life.

Kanon needed to do anything possible to preserve this good luck.

“Maybe Kanon needs to look a bit more impressive and important? Maybe they’ll have a harder time finding out like that?”

“Hey, Kanon.”

“Eep!”

After massaging the face visible on the glass window’s reflection, Kanon now leapt from the seat.

“S-sorry for startling you.”

Turning around, Kanon saw around several Mushitsuki led by Ichi.

With folded arms and a frown, Kanon feigned calmness while trying to look as important as possible.

“I-it is fine. …What do you require?”

“…? More Mushitsuki who want to be saved by you appeared. I’ve introduced you.”

Seeing Kanon’s terrible acting, Ichi looked puzzled. However, since he was already used to that suspicious behavior, he collected himself and pushed a boy ahead.

“Oh ho, is that so. Please, do seat down.”

“R-right…”

The boy took a seat to the opposite of Kanon.

It was a boy with dyed hair and sharp eyes. He wore many jingling cheap rings and bracelets. He gave off the impression of a delinquent playboy, but once asked about it, he was apparently still in middle school.

“You also want to have your Mushi erased and become a normal person again?”

“…Say, Kanon. Do you really think that act is working for you?”

“Well, do leave this all to me. You can relax, man.”

Kanon got carried away with the act, ignoring Ichi’s retort and pulled a chest pounding.

The boy averted his eyes.

“I don’t really mind.”

“I see, now I’m relaxed. …Wait, what?”

“It’s not an issue of being a Mushitsuki or a normal person. I just got sick of being told to come back home earlier or study properly and all that. The moment I realized I was a Mushitsuki I was surprised… my old folks only care about appearance anyway.”

The delinquent boy spat it all out. As he did another boy hurriedly came in front of the table.

“I-I’m sorry! This is my old friend… he might be saying this, but he’s actually—”

“Shuddup! Even if I go back to normal, I don’t wanna go back to that house! If I have nowhere to go anyway, maybe I’d better stay a Mushitsuki! I mean, it’s got its uses! Hey, you lot! Why’re so afraid of this Mushi business? You’re stronger than normal people!”

Stopped by his friend, the frenzied delinquent rose up. He looked around the restaurant, sneering.

“So you’re a buncha cowards, eh?”

The atmosphere inside the restaurant became tense. Some rose from their chairs and gave in to the provocation, asking him “What was that?!”

Just when everything was on the verge of an explosion, Kanon spoke up.

It was now possible to surmise the boy’s situation more or less.

This rebellious teen boy acted against his parents, became a Mushitsuki, then saw how his parents acted differently while knowing that and became desperate—it was probably something like that.

After thinking for a while, Kanon spoke.

“…Then you should go back.”

“Ah?”

The grappling delinquent boy turned around.

“If it’s not an issue of being a Mushitsuki or a normal person, Kanon thinks you should go back home.”

“What does a blissful little bitch like you even know!”

“Hey! Stop it!”

The delinquent tried grabbing Kanon. The surroundings Mushitsuki stopped him.

“Have they not told you to come back early even after they knew you’re a Mushitsuki?”

Despite being scared, Kanon still asked him. The boy wore a twisted smile.

“They did! It was obvious they were scared and lying to me, though!”

“Then you really should go back home already.”

The boy grabbed Kanon’s collar tightly.

“Kanon never got told to ‘come back’ even once—”

Hearing those agonized groans, the delinquent boy’s movements stopped at once. While his strength wavered, Ichi pulled Kanon away from him.

Coughing, Kanon sat down again.

“Kanon’s papa’s a bit of a womanizer… well, apparently Kanon’s mother went away soon after giving birth to me. Since then he brought many women home and told Kanon jokes like ‘go away’, ‘you don’t have to return’ and the like again and again…”

Thinking back, he really was a bad father.

Saying something like that to a child so calmly.

It was just a joke.

Just a lie.

So Kanon had been trying to think. ''Trying'' to think.

Right, just like—

“…”

Kanon gasped, looking upwards.

At some point there was silence again and everyone looked at this scene.

Right.

All of them were also—just like Kanon.

“Kanon doesn’t have to come back? That’s a lie, right? When Kanon asked him this—”

They all wanted to believe lies.

Kanon, too, wanted to believe lies.

Even if they knew it was a lie, even if they knew they were being deceived—

Weak people simply had to believe it, to cling to the small hope and keep living to tomorrow.

“He just told Kanon clearly that it wasn’t a lie…”

Kanon’s vision seemed to black out the moment these words had been uttered.

Rather than being stabbed by this unwanted truth—it would’ve been better to continue being deceived.

A happy lie over a cruel truth.

That way led to salvation.

“So even if he told Kanon to not come back, if it was a lie—”

Kanon spoke to the delinquent boy.

“It would be a kind lie.”

The boy’s expression froze.

“You have a family who would give you kind lies… if you want to believe in this, Kanon thinks you should pretend to be fooled by it.”

“I-I…”

“That would make you even. If you told each other kind lies, I believe you will become a kind family.”

If you didn’t believe the other party, your relationship would be over.

Just like it happened for Kanon.

The boy clenched his fist, shook his shoulders and groaned in a stifled voice.

“B-but, I… I’m a Mushitsuki… if I go back, I’ll only cause them…”

The tears leaking from the boy’s eyes wet the floor.

That was—the boy’s answer.

Even while he used his mouth to complain, it was obvious why this boy couldn’t be honest.

Kanon spoke to the boy aiming for the one and only thread of hope.

“—I’m sorry.”

Everyone in the restaurant was shocked and turned to look.

Kanon had thought only about silly things such as lying and not getting busted.

They were cowards?

That was way off the mark, but even if it was true, that was completely natural.

They took care of Kanon not because of their good will or anything like that. But only in order to be saved.

And if so, it was better for them to—

“Umm… for acting so self-important, Kanon means…”

Pouting, Kanon apologized with a small voice.

They were all together in this just for their own gains anyway, so they might as well—continue lying to each other.

Even a day longer.

If it was convenient for both sides, Kanon could continue lying.

Even if they found out someday, Kanon was already a big liar and a villain and so resigned to accept any sort of punishment. And they would probably all relish in it.

“Wait, were you trying to act like some kinda big shot? I just thought you were being weird.”

Ichi laughed. Following him others also laughed.

“Uh…”

“You’re so bad at acting, Kanon.”

There was no reply possible.

Although bad at acting and at lying—Kanon was still a liar.

There was some desire to become better at that.

Kanon wanted to become so much better at lying as to be able to fool anyone for their entire lives.

If that happened, the harsh reality would be painted over by lies and be seen no more—

“Hey, since you’re number 52 in line, we’ll call you Gojuuni from today on.”

“Ha…? What’s up with that stupid name?”

“Kanon can’t remember names. Since I’m the first, I’m Ichi. That guy’s second so he’s Nii.”

The delinquent wiped his tears while Ichi pointed at the table at the corner.

The boy called Nii sat listlessly at the table just like always, staring at his cup. Nothing changed during this month with the bag he was always hugging, either.

While heading toward this boy, Kanon started thinking.

Some people lied to protect themselves.

If so—then what about Tamaki?

That childhood friend was good at lying, but for what purpose—and for whom did she lie?

Those were Kanon’s thoughts.

“Onii-chan, why aren’t you eating anything? Kanon’s worried about you, you look so thin.”

“…”

Even as Kanon sat opposite to him, there was no reaction from the boy.

“Kanon asked this countless times already… but what’s in that bag?”

Although it was obviously useless, Kanon still tried asking. Since the boy was hiding it for an entire month, it was natural to become more curious.

“—Go back, huh…”

Nii suddenly mumbled.

“Ah, you spoke!”

“Right… even if I go back, even if I know no-one’s there—I end up wanting to go back.”

Never mind not opening his heart, Nii barely ever opened his mouth. And yet now he started mumbling. He gazed up the ceiling as if reminiscing, narrowing his eyes.

“I’m a survivor… and this is… a memento…”

He looked at Kanon with lifeless pupils. His eyes looked even kinder than expected.

“A s-survivor? A memento, meaning…”

“We were a team… we thought we were invincible. But that was a mistake. We’d ended up annihilated by that guy. —Despite us intending to join up the next big battle.”

“Eh?”

“No, then… maybe that’s why he crushed us. He came to tell us there was no need for us in that next fight…”

“He? Who are you…”

Nii smiled at the question. This very first smile of his that Kanon saw—had the despairingly deep color of resignation permeating it.

“Harukiyo.”

''Twitch.

Kanon had the feeling that something in Nii’s bag moved.

[[File:Mushi Uta 10 p097.jpg|thumb]]