Editing NouCome: Volume 1 Chapter 2 (section)

===Part 2===
<!-- Page 116 -->
"Buhiiiii."

It is second year, class 1's lunchtime and a voice is doing 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』sounds.

"Buhiiiii."

My anguished voice sounds like a 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』.

"Buhiiiii."

My face is indecribable as all kinds of negative feelings fill it. If you dared to add the title 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』 I wonder where it would go.

"Buhiiiii."

I finished the 10th cry of 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』 as required. With a blank expression I jumped down off the teacher's desk.


[Choose: ① Lie on your back on the teacher's desk and mimic the sound of a 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』 ten times ② Daigo-san nude, and tied in straw rope, will appear and do it 
instead.]


The moment this choice appeared, seriously......no. I felt like jumping off the roof in comparison. Trying to think of a pig who can't live no matter how it struggles I somehow managed to do 『mimicing a pig's denying death cry』.

"Why......why did I see this......"

So, all of it is to blame on the Absolute Choice. If this can be eliminated I can regain my peaceful life.

The conditions have been specified. It seems I have to do the missions specified by God.

However, what is with the it being 『make Yukihira Furano laugh from the bottom of her heart』. 

It's so crazy my mind can't wrestle with where to start.

<!-- Page 118 -->
"......Eh~"

Feeling something behind me I glanced back over my shoulder. It was Yukihira herself. She was expressionless, as always, as she put her hand on my shoulder.

"Amakusa-kun, now I understand a little of your yearning feelings."

"Yearning? What on earth are you talking about?"

"No, even though is a lot to accept, it isn't very nice."

"You......What are you trying to say? I don't get it at all."

"Unfortunately, a while ago you suffered through the pig joke."

"That expression in your eyes!"

That? Yesterday she said talked about people being a pig or an insect.

"Btw, because you are fair-skinned it's not a blackpiggish joke, it's classified as a whitepiggish joke. In other words a white pig."

"I don't want to be told that by you!"

"By the way, when I express it with two names it becomes 『White Pig's Stylish Laugh Time>."』<ref>There's alternative furigana joke that might mean "Pigs showtime" 『ピツグス.シヨータイム』(Pitsugusu.shiyoutoimu)</ref>

"You say such shameful things with a straight face!"

"Though you deny it to me, if it's not a piggish joke, and not rainy season eccentricities, I wonder what on earth it is?"

"Uh......"

I found myself at a loss for words. How do I explain it......I mean, to begin with there is no reason,  and there's no way I can give an explanation.

......Wait, conversely is this the chance? With no reason for the 『Pig in the middle of being lynched』 mimicing, rather, the piggish joke challenge might let me off with a light wound.

"To be honest, because your joke yesterday was interesting I tried to imitate it a bit."

After denying it instantly, is this lame? I did a searching glance at Yukihira but somehow got back an expression of contempt.

"Afterall it was true."

"Yes?"

"I thought and asked leading questions......every night I thought and worked to reach the piggish joke."

This person......what on earth is she saying?

"This already is at a level where there's nothing to do but launch a lawsuit."

"No no, this is a tapir, not the same as a pig."

"I appeal!"

Yukihira shouted out in the style of a certain comedy group.

"No, therefore it is nothing like a ripoff."

"I appeal!"

This person......just wants to say that phrase.

"I understand, I was bad, stop it already."

"I appeal!"

I got it!

"Presiding judge, please call the presiding judge to me."

"No, they aren't here. Why are you 『Calling a Chef』<ref>Deliberate mishearing.</ref>?"

"Noo, we already ate."

Ouji clearly aimed to appear with that timing.

It seems lunch finished in the school cafeteria, and she entered the classroom while contentedly rubbing her belly.

<!-- Page 121 -->
"Oh, the presiding judge is back to just the right spot."

"No, that is plainly Ouji."

"Hmm~ for some reason I sense something interesting."

Crap, I have a premonition things are going to be more troublesome somehow.

"Presiding judge, this person is the outrageous one who tried to steal another person's intellectual property. Give an impartial judgement."

Your intellectual property......the pig joke is intellectual property.

"I don't understand but, the death sentence."

"The summary trial level is done!"

"It's decided. It's good to barbecue quickly."

"I am not a pig!"

Yukihira's tsukkomi was disregarded and unconcernedly continued speaking.

"Presiding judge, there is two issues. Needless to say the first is is the defendent 『Are they guilty or innocent?』. And the second thing is the defendent 『A man or a pig?』."

"I don't get the nuance!"

"When you bring it together it becomes, is the defendent 『Guilty or a pig?』."

"I don't get that even more!"

"Amakusa-kun, being a man and guilty in a sense can be said to be equal. Man is a living thing that's work consists of sacrificing all other lives......So to say, it's existance itself is a crime."

"Why does that sound a bit cool?"

"Presiding judge, it's the time of decision."

"No, it's too early. Because nothing has been discussed yet."

To begin with, being guilty or a pig, hasn't been discussed.

"Hmm, a pig then."

"A pig, no way!"

"Hmm, then guilty."

"Guilty, no way also!"

"The judgement was reversed, the presiding judge's sympathy was given but you still give this attitude......can't you accept it and stop joking?"

"No, that's you! The one joking is you no matter how you think about it!"

"But, Kanade-cchi's pig cry mimicry echoed out of the classroom and that's a typical crime."

<!-- Page 123 -->
"Umm......"

There's nothing I can say in reply. I feel like it's at a misdemeanor level.

"That's so. Amakusa-kun is vaguely like a pig and is indirectly guilty."

"Like......isn't that completely subjective?"

"Amakusa-kun. If you think a single individual can completely objectively judge someone, that's egoism."

"So why are you saying those cool sounding words!"

"Now choose Amakusa Kanade. Living in a pigsty as a pig, or thrown in jail like a man?"

"Both are refused!"

No, you two, I want you to have already pardoned it.

"Heyy!"

At that moment the door was flung open and Utage-sensei invaded the classroom.

"Ack......"

The teacher came towards me in a rush and caught me by the nape of the neck with no discussion.

"You Amakusa......are a pig brought to the classroom to be intently played with?"

"No no, that's impossible. Sensei, I'm one of your students?"

"You're a pig."

"What fatlike impression are you saying you are getting!"

"That's just a joke. I heard an unpleasant voice like a pig from the class, the snitches brought it to the staff room."

"That......was me."

"You? Amakusa-kun, though it's the usual, your problem causing and acquittal is not a good example to the other students."

No, I understand the principle and it's not good in appearance. Pretending to be bullied as I am taken to the student guidance room, but the rapid movement and strong pressure!

"Oh......this feeling of digging into my flesh, I didn't miss it."

As I was dragged horizontally I whispered a dangerous thing.

"Oops......we've reached it. This is a bit quiet but I'm still unsatisfied."

That's strange, that's strange. This person is weird!

"Amakusa, so, this thing."

[[image:NoucomeVol1 125.jpg|thumb]]

"No, what kind of thing? Gaahhh!"

Before I know it, my conciousness has faded.


"So?"

<!-- Page 126 line 3 -->
"So? That's not it! I wonder if others will talk!"

The student guidance room. When my homeroom teacher talked as if nothing had happened, I, who came with her, exploded with dissatisfaction.

"It's safe. A person doesn't die from just that."

"That's not the problem!"

"I'm a professional at strangling so I'm very knowledgeable about where to safely draw the line. I used to be called 『Strangle to Death-Utage』."

"That's like the title of a heroic movie, not!"<ref>Her name 'Utage' means party/feast/banquet so the title would be something like 'Strangle to Death Party'</ref>

No matter what happened, those two names shouldn't be attached to a japanese language teacher......what two worlds did this person live in.

"However, if it wasn't for that, that place wouldn't be settled?"

"No it was settled! Rather, the bigger problem is you!"

Because she got excited selfishly remembering the old days, and then strangling me, I nearly suffered a trauma.

When Utage-sensei was telling it she showed a unique expression.

"Well certainly it could have been a bit of an overkill......Alright, then I'll do you a favor and teach a good move." 

"Good move?"

"Ah, it's 『The Vital Point That Destroys The Last Five Minutes』."

That smells fishy!

"It's still around five minutes. Do you want to try and forget the last little while?"

"No, I decline......By the way the vital point is where?"

"Oh, its at the back of the head. It's a small spot you fling against a wall or a floor."

"That's not a vital point at all!"

Seriously, what kind of person is this person......However, this person who's arrogance is depicted was 
also cursed for a time.

I can't imagine Utage-sensei being toyed with by the Absolute Choices.

"Sensei, were you really cursed?"

Though I asked the question casually, Utage-sensei's body seemed to tremble briefly.

"Well......To tell the truth my character is a bit rough because of the curse. When I was you? It came into my head all the time and twisted me. I was originally more docile, pure hearted and sweet......Yeah, in a phrase 'a graceful japanese woman'."

"Sounds like a lie!"

I said that out of reflex.

"Hey! It's true."

No......Showing such a threatening attitude, it's impossible to believe her. I'm usually scared of her.

"Good grief......Well, that aside what became of the matter of the person falling from the sky yesterday?"
Sensei asked that while leaning back with her legs outstretched from the chair. Ah, did she worry about it?

I reported all the minute details of the flashy assistant Chocolat settling down in the house.

<!-- Page 129 -->
"In the end did the damn mission come too?......"

After sensei heard the explanation her expression clouded up.

"So often the mission make you go what on earth? Because the contents are like that it's hard to know how to do them."

To make Yukihira laugh, Absolute Choices doesn't seem related to that.

"That girl is always serious."

"Huh?"

Utage-sensei's mood changed.

"The god and I seem to fit, the contents of the mission are a joke and the curse can't be removed if you make even one mistake......That's serious."

To the hard tone, I held my breath instictively.

"Why? It's meaningless to think about it. You can only manage to do it. Listen Amakusa, fight with the will to die!<ref>死ぬ気でやれ=Shinuki de yare, A samurai phrase commonly used in sports like boxing.</ref>"

That it was not a threat or a joke was clear from sensei's expression.

"So, you've been following along until now, now it depends on your working hard."

Where on earth have I been following, is what my heart retorts, but if I say that it will become complicated again so I'm cautious.

"Well, the important part of the mission is what? Look at the cell phone."

Sensei checked the contents, and then eyes full of pity glanced at me.

"......That's pathetic."

"Eh, wait, what's with that, it seriously ends with that feeling."

"From the reaction of Utagi-sensei, the feeling of an impending crisis rapidly built."

However, I have to make Yukihira laugh by the end of tomorrow......that's very unreasonable.


"Well, it is what it is."

In the afternoon class, my eyes looked around the middle of the classroom to where Yukihira's seat. 

Yukihira was sitting with her chin lightly cupped with one hand and listening to the teacher talk. Her face was expressionless as usual, the features still were fairly beautiful.

No no, it wasn't the time to leisurely think about things like that, if I don't have her laugh heartily at me by tomorrow it will be terrible.

Just because there's the example of Utage-sensei cancelling the curse on my side, simply because there's hope to remove the curse some day, this year, I absolutely have to endure the unreasonable demands of Absolute Choice.

However, by failing a mission, I won't be able to break the curse for the rest of my life......it's notification of the end of my life.

<nowiki>*Snore*</nowiki>

From behind I can hear the sleeping snores of Yuuouji bring me back to here and now. She was happily sleeping while slobbering in a notebook. 

"Fufu......Yes! Hamburger......Curry and rice too."

Who on earth dreams like that. Is she a child?

If Yuuouji was the target of this mission her wild instincts would have made it very easy. Oh well, may as well ask for the moon (is that really different?) it's unavoidable and I have to carry it out.

First of all, I've never seen Yukihira laugh.

When I did bad jokes her voice would rise and she would have an exaggerated expression but as soon as it ends she would be back to being expressionless.

At that moment, Yukihira who seemingly felt my look turned around and looked directly at me dammit!

"Umm......"

I didn't have anything to be ashamed of doing but the person in question guessed I was watching and I did feel ashamed.

Yukihira observed my lost expression and after narrowing her eyes a moment glanced back to the blackboard.

After the class ended Yukihira faced my desk straight on.

"Amakusa-kun, no matter how you regret it, our relationship won't change."

This.......Possibly, did Yukihira misunderstand after being looked at for so long?

"N-no, that's wrong Yukihira that wasn't the reason!"

"I can't become your little sister."

"......Huh? What on earth did you say?"

"Actually, on the anime broadcast yesterday, 『Magical Young Man<ref>It's actually Magical Seinen, so 20-30 year olds. Play on Magical Girls</ref> Gurigyua 5』 episode 330, the new magical tool 『Become An Older Brother Glasses』<ref>Actual phrase is お兄ちゃんだいちゅきメガネ, pretty sure I misunderstood partly</ref> appeared. The effect is said to be 『When worn and staring at other people's backs, whoever it is, changes into a younger sister』.

It was a bonk worthy setting. Could such an anime continue for over 300 episodes......

"Incidentally the 100-year old grandfather was changed into his younger sister and began to flirt in public."

"Where's the demand for something like that!?"

"I was certain that Amakusa-kun had obtained 『Become An Older Brother Glasses』 and was trying to make a younger sister of me."

"Don't believe in magic tools existing in reality because of something like that!"

"Because don't they say that if a man is over 30 they become wizards<ref>Reference the 2-chan meme of 30 year old male virgins becoming wizards</ref>."

"Could you stop assuming people's futures!"

Contrary to keeping the joke going Yukihira's face is expresionless.

To make her heartily laugh is.......greatly unreasonable.