Editing Talk:Haruhi Theater act.1 (section)

== #3 ==

"Asahina-san, who was so adorable that even if I had her in my eye, I would stand for the pain in the eye for a week. [ED note- another fairly unclear part]"


Original :"俺が目に入れて飼えるなら痛いのも一週間は我慢するだろうと思うくらいに愛らしい、朝比奈さん"

My literal tl. :"Asahina-san, who was so cute. So even if I could literally keep her in my eye, I would tolerate the pain the eye"

I tried to translate the part literally without thinking of language differences between Japanese and English and ended up with the mess.

It originally was a pun for a Japanese idiom: "(彼女は)目に入れても痛くないほどかわいい" (=(explanatory tl.) (She) is so cute. So even if you have her in your eye, you don't feel the pain in the eye( because what you have in your eye is none other than her.))

I think the idiom would be close to "cavity-causing sweetness". 

Then I came up with another translation "Asahina-san, whose sweetness can cause me cavaties, but as the cause was her, I could tolerate the pain for a week" 

I think it makes sense and be close to the original without spoiling the pun used in the original, doesn't it? Do you have any more understandable and less spoiling alternatives?


--[[User:An Engrish speaker|An Engrish speaker]] 22:40, 16 June 2007 (PDT)

I think it makes sense to change it into a metaphor that is understandable in English and retains the basic meaning at the cost of losing the literal translation. However, in this instance the focus is really on sight, the sentence begins with him fending off Haruhi's glance by turning away. The metaphor is a continuation of that focus on which way Kyon is looking and is meant to contrast with when he's looking at Haruhi. 

Now that I understand the meaning though, I think it might be possible to come up with a coherent translation. Maybe, something like, "Hence, I faced the other way as if fending off her glance, where I saw was the confused face of Asahina-san. She was so adorable that even if I kept her in my eye for a week, I could endure the pain of her sitting in there."

I think it might also help to add a translator's note to help clarify later on.

--[[User:Pxstg|Pxstg]] 10:39, 17 June 2007 (PDT)