Editing Talk:Rakuin no Monshou:Volume3 Chapter2 (section)

===Part 2===

Approximately ten kilometres south of Apta was broken by a series of mountains. Back then, it was known as the place where slaves and criminals were forced to work.
*“Back then” implies a reference to a particular point in time, which wasn’t clear to me what it would be from surrounding context.  A possible, more generic replacement could be “In the past”.
:*CaM.

If the prince is to be keeper of Apta, I’d like you be first subdue the surrounding areas.”
*I think this is just a minor typo of “you be first” to “you to first”.  But just checking since tone in speech is more important.
:*Yea, typo. CaM.

Since that stupid ill-bred cat’s come, the kitchen’s been laid to waste, and readying its gun, it’s even targeted my secret stash...”
*“Readying its gun” is a strange thing to say about a cat.  I’d guess it means something like “and going further,”.  Though, with a larger leap of imagination for any expression that involves guns, I could see it being something like “and signing its own death warrant”.
:*Changed to 'sharpening its claws'.

“Ships....well, how many would that be?”  //  Zaj raised his eyes with a sure-fire face. It was likely because he was aware Orba’s forces comprised of a small battalion.
*Not sure what a “sure-fire face” is?
:*Err, yea, i don't know if 'calculative face' is the right way of saying it. It's a face that can more or less guess the amount needed.

Then have them join(合流) with us.
*Looks like a translation note.  Not sure if you’re done with it?
:*You didn't see that.

Though it could be said to have been practice, to preserve the feeling of tension, a single bullet had been loaded in.
*Preference edit: Though it would be considered practice, 
:*CaM.

There’s no point in fearing back-talk of me calling me things like a forward princess.
*“There’s not point in fearing back-talk of me being called things like a forward princess” or “There’s not point in fearing back-talk calling me things like a forward princess.”  Also, I can’t speak to it as a translation, but “gossip” is probably more common in such sentences (I assume “back-talk” is used to capture meaning that it is gossip/talk in response to her action).
:*Yes, but more importantly it's done with bad intent. That's how i see the difference between back-talk and gossip. Maybe backbite? 

Furthermore, the rumour that the emperor had been frequently meeting with a messenger from Ende since she’d had also been brought to surface.
*Seems to be missing a word or phrase “since she’d ____”
:*Oops. Changed to 'since she'd come here'.

''Isn’t Emperor Guhl merely trying to cleverly set himself up in the relations between Garbera and Ende?''  //  It was only that Vileena’s standing was one half progressed into marriage, and by this deed, that position would grow increasingly insecure.
*“It was only that”, tripped me up a little bit on my first read, and it is probably not absolutely necessary.  Re-reading it, I think I got the meaning of it (to say that this is the reason Vileena is concerned about Guhl meeting Ende).  So I’ll leave it to you or another pair of eyes to determine whether it is awkward or if anything need be done.
:*Changed to "Vileena's standing was at best one half progressed into marriage....."

“Now now princess. Is that immodest appearance of yours were to even be seen by the prince, you can’t hope to even begin to awaken a hundred year’s of love.”
*Likely just a typo “Is that” to “If that”.  Also, I would delete the “even” in “were to even be seen by”.
:*CaM.

In short, it’s that he’s, you know, immature(inexperienced).
*Looks like a translation note.  Not sure if you’re done with it.  If those are choices and you’re looking for opinions (that are limited by having no knowledge of the original), then I’d have a slight preference for “immature”.
:*You also didn't see that.