Editing CubexCursedxCurious:Volume13 Chapter2 (section)

===Part 3===

"Using money to punish a person...? Hmm~ That local official's facial expression is truly evil to the extreme. Burp, must be Tokugawa's descendant, how truly displeasing..."

Konoha was in the living room watching television, muttering to herself. At the same time, she was alternating between drinking plum brandy and eating mouthfuls of food to accompany the alcohol. The snacks were prepared by Haruaki using existing ingredients that were ready on hand.

The trio of Haruaki, Fear and Kuroe were sitting at the side of the table opposite to her, suppressing their breaths. Despite making a continuous stream of grumbling comments, Konoha was completely engrossed in the television. Now was the only time to hold a strategy meeting.

"...I get it now. Kono-san always enters a drunken madness after drinking plum brandy. This is like the effect of catnip on cats and limited editions on collectors, a substance that makes her lose rationality especially easily, isn't it?"

"Exactly. By the way, Kuroe, your hair is all messed up."

"Ugh, my head still feels hot from all the rubbing Kono-san did for so long... I was beginning to think the friction was going to make fire."

Kuroe's hair moved sluggishly, fixing her hairstyle on its own. Through the slow movements of her hair, one could tell how utterly exhausted she was.

Glancing at Konoha while she was watching television, Haruaki said quietly:

"So... The problem we need to think about is simply what are we going to do next."

"Isn't that simple!? Right now, she's just a shameless bitch who's full of herself, doing whatever she wants, reeking of alcohol, a total eyesore! She must be dealt with right away! I propose a simple solution that can be captured in merely three words. Namely, force! Unconscious! Rope! ...Hoho, that's all!"

Fear was looking at Konoha with shining eyes akin to that of savage hound. Seeing that, Haruaki sighed.

"You're going to resort to force? In my view, I'm hoping that you won't execute the kind of plan that's like capturing Konoha, something a bit gentler would be better..."

"But Ficchi's plan isn't totally unworkable as a general direction. I don't really think Kono-san can be easily subdued in her current state, but I don't think she'll listen obediently even if we asked her to stop drinking. Also, look how she's taking small sips at a time so the consumption rate is kind of slow... Waiting for her to finish might be slightly challenging."

"Yeah... You have a point."

Hence, Kuroe turned her face slightly and said:

"I think your answer is very vague... Haru, are there extenuating circumstances forcing you to favor gentle solutions?"

"Damn you, shameless brat, you haven't been bribed by Cow Tits already, have you!? Oh, that reminds me, what happened to that underwear and clothing you were holding in the corridor just now...? Did she bribe you with that!?"

"Of course not, I already put the clothes in the changing area for sure!"

"Then why not!? I won't have mercy on you if you dare hide things from me!"

"Sheesh... But it's nothing so compelling as extenuating circumstances..."

Haruaki looked towards Konoha again. The story on television must be entering a climax. She was leaning forward slightly, staring at the screen intently.

"Yes, right there! Go&mdash;... Wow, the hairpin stabbed in with a ''goosh''! A truly fitting death for a corrupt official! Kufufu, a toast to celebrate..."

Konoha slapped her thigh repeatedly then took a sip of brandy, grinning from side to side, then burped, exhaling deeply. Seeing the official go limp on screen, she laughed heartily again.

Yeah, disregarding the video content she was laughing about...

She really looked quite happy... Haruaki thought.

"How should I put this...? Recently, it's been quite rare to see Konoha laughing to her heart's content like this. If I think back carefully, it's very seldom for her to put down everything to have fun without reserve to begin with. She's always helping with house chores and going out to work part-time on occasion. She's definitely keeping her guard up all the time to watch out for suspicious characters nearby... It does seem quite tough for her in various ways, so I was wondering if she might be accumulating a lot of stress."

"Hmm, now that you mention it, that seems to be true. Kono-san isn't someone who complains or says discouraging things."

"...So what you mean is let her continue drinking in drunken stupor?"

Fear frowned and pouted, whispering in discontent.

"As much as I'd like to do that, allowing her to stay in this mode endlessly will cause too much damage to us... So I'm hoping for a compromise and resolve the situation gently. Rather than waging total war to render her unconscious and tie her up, I'd like something more natural. Since she's already like this, it can't be helped so I'm hoping to bring Konoha back to normal happily after she dissipates her stress completely, something like that at least..."

My suggestion probably has too much wishful thinking... Haruaki scratched his head. But after looking up slightly, he noticed Kuroe was making a faint wry smile with a gentle expression. On the other hand, Fear was pouting, facing another direction while muttering: "Jeez... This guy is always making such a shameless face, every single time..."

"That's so like Haru's style. In that case, I'll do as you say."

"Hmph, I can't stand this. But precisely because of that, the shameless brat is the shameless brat... N-No wait, I haven't accepted it yet! If you must have your way no matter what, it's not like I can't negotiate with you. Just give me ten... No, twenty rice crackers and it's a deal!"

"Sigh, no helping it. Although it feels like highway robbery, I'll pay you afterwards."

"Great, deal sealed. Can't be helped, we'll have to go for gentler means."

"A gentle solution huh... But that depends on what extent counts as gentle. Oh right, Haru, you knew all along that Kono-san turns into this state whenever she drinks plum brandy, right?"

"Yeah. In the past, before either of you came to this home, something similar happened once. I don't quite remember the details but Pops and I definitely suffered tragically. That's why, afterwards, we vowed from the bottom of our hearts that plum brandy is the one thing that Konoha must not touch. Not even a drop."

"Since something similar happened before, you must have learnt at least one or two useful things. Do you recall anything? Like being susceptible to pain caused by reciting prayers to her or being unable to stand the smell of garlic."

"Are you treating her as some kind of demon!?"

"By the way, how did you clean up the mess back then? Did you simply endure the whole thing or did you use some kind of special method to turn Kono-san back to normal...? This is very important."

Hearing Kuroe's question, Haruaki tilted his head, a deep furrow appearing on his brow as he concentrated. However&mdash;

"Hmm~ Actually, that's exactly what I've been thinking for a while now, but I can't recall what happened at all. How strange, it's like my memories were sealed by someone. It's really totally blank for just that one patch..."

"M-Most likely, it was a traumatic experience for Haru in his childhood. Probably a defense mechanism activated to protect his heart and soul... In that case, don't force yourself to remember it!"

While Kuroe said that, what appeared to be cold sweat dripped from her. Whatever, Haruaki decided that there was no point in focusing his attention on that matter since he might remember all of a sudden.

"So, back to the issue at hand, what exactly are we doing next? I don't want to just keep tolerating her tyranny. We must find a way to return her to normal, gently."

"Hmm. Ultimately, what should we do to make Konoha sober?"

Haruaki pondered. Sobering Konoha. The simplest and most basic method was time. No matter how utterly drunk, everyone would definitely go sober after some amount of time&mdash;But it was a totally different issue if they kept drinking continually.

In other words&mdash;

Conversely, she would definitely grow sober gradually provided she stopped drinking.

"Her drunken stupor persists because she keeps drinking nonstop... The first goal is to stop her from drinking more plum brandy. But there's still a lot of brandy left in that bottle. Since that's the case&mdash;"

"The bottle must be taken away."

Kuroe declared. The trio looked at one another and nodded.

The battle plan's direction was decided. In other words, to stop Konoha from drinking more plum brandy, they were going to take the bottle away.

"But if all we do is grab it, I think she'll immediately snatch it back. Maybe it's better if we secretly replace the plum brandy inside with water or fruit juice. In her current state, I don't think Kono-san will notice."

"Hmm, if the brandy can be replaced secretly, that'll be the best. But that requires finding an opportunity to make the switch first."

"If Cow Tits spots us during the stealing process, we might have to resort to a crash and burn approach, pouring the bottle's contents out... But we'll just have to adapt to the situation when the time comes."

"'Operation Secret Bottle Swap' sounds too direct as a name, too risky. Just in case, we should use a codename so that it doesn't matter if she overhears. In other words, this is 'Operation Beauties Preparing to Substitute Bottles Secretly', shortened as&mdash;Yes! Let's call it Operation Substitution Beauties!"

"I'm a guy, okay? Say, I don't see why you have to put in the word 'beauties' deliberately."

"Haru, don't sweat the small details~ I think this plan should be divided into four major phases. The first phase is 'preparing the substitute bottle,' the second phase is 'taking the bottle from Kono-san's hands,' the third phase is 'cautiously but boldly swapping bottles' and the final and fourth phase is 'after the supply is cut, Kono-san sobers up.'"

"Yeah. In other words, once these phases are completed in sequence, victory will naturally come into view. Then let's go. So, the specific details..."

Konoha had been keeping them in the corner of her view all this time. While they were discussing the details for Operation Substitution Beauties, Konoha suddenly turned her head to look at them. The trio instantly held their breaths.

"...Staring~"

A slanted, glaring stare. Despite laughing heartily at the corrupt official's death just now, she suddenly seemed quite displeased. Taking a sip of plum brandy, Konoha said:

"Hmm~ ...Burp. Right now, ye... were... whispering...?"

"N-No we weren't. What whispering? We were just chatting casually. That's right, just chatting casually."

"Ostracizing... me... Just the three of ye...?"

Saying that, Konoha pouted childishly. The usual Konoha would never make such a face, so it was quite a refreshing sight. But now was not the time to be enjoying this refreshing sense. Rather, it was an unprecedented crisis.

"W-We're not ostracizing you."

"..."

Konoha pouted even more forcefully, her hazy gaze penetrating the three of them in sequence, like an underworld judge trying to expose lies based on their facial expressions. Then&mdash;

"Seiza."

"...Wha?"

"Sei~za~! Make haste! Here!"

Konoha patted the tatami next to her. Her eyes were already staring straight at him.

"Hey, why? What did we do?"

"Shush, Fear! Anyway, let's avoid angering Konoha for now. Now that we've finally decided what we're going to do, things will get very troublesome if we anger her. Hey, Kuroe too... Woah, that's fast!"

Unbelievable, instantaneous movement. Clearly next to Haruaki just a moment ago, Kuroe was now sitting formally in seiza posture at the location indicated.

"I've already decided to submit totally to the current Kono-san in non-resistance."

Konoha's displeased gaze and intimidating aura did not go away. Haruaki and Fear obediently sat down in seiza to follow Kuroe's suit. Sitting down forcefully in a cross-legged posture in front of the trio, Konoha took a sip of plum brandy and swept her sharp gaze over the group.

"Very well... So, do something... interesting... Amuse me!"

"Wait, Konoha, why are you giving this kind of order suddenly?"

"Muhmm~? I care not! Dost thou have a problem with that!? This ought to be possible if ye are not ostracizing me! Hence, ye ought to do it!"

"What unreasonable logic..."

"Ye cannot... Huh? Then sure enough, ye are ostracizing me...?"

Konoha's eyes were shimmering with the dim light of loneliness. Inexplicably, Haruaki felt a strong sense of guilt.

"Th-That's wrong, we're definitely not ostracizing you. It's just that we're wondering how to amuse you!"

"Puha~ Then allow me to decide! Hmm~"

"Letting this drunkard decide what we're going to do? That's definitely an extremely scary game...!"

Probably hearing this murmur, Konoha locked her gaze on Fear, thus deciding the first victim.

"In that case~ First, little lass, thou~"

Everyone gulped at once. Thinking up something that no one could guess, Konoha finally laughed in a commanding manner and said:

"Yes&mdash;strip!"

"I-I strongly refuse! What kind of demand is that? It's too shameless!"

Flushed red in the face, Fear leaned forward. However, Konoha laughed greatly while shaking her upper body.

"Hyaha, surely I jest... Well then, pour the drink. Little lass, thou shalt be responsible for pouring!"

This could very well be a great opportunity. Haruaki and Kuroe made eyes towards Fear. Since she was to pour the drink, it implied that the bottle will be handed over to Fear. Although they might not be able to execute the plan immediately, for the remainder of the operation, this was very crucial.

Fear nodded lightly. Then clenching her fists, she slowly stood up.

"We'll have no future if we don't defeat her as soon as possible. I've no choice but to step up. Haruaki, Kuroe, I'm counting on you guys for the rest...!"

Fear was making a face that matched these exaggerated words, like a stoic warrior heading off towards sacrifice for the sake of the greater good, filled with tragic determination.