Editing Failing Witch:Volume1 Episode1 (section)

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<span style="font-size:150%">“Your attention please!!!”</span>

Noise exploded in the beautiful woodgrain gym that had sunlight seals hanging from the ceiling for light.

The students’ heads were rattled.

Gyaru-style instructor Schanze immediately realized her mistake, gave the megaphone in her hand a curious look, and made a slight adjustment to her magic.

“Huh, was my voice, like, too loud? Test, test. Is this totally better?”

This magic was used by witch’s working as tour guides in Temple School City and to organize exam takers at the Maleficium entrance exams, so it wasn’t unusual for it to be the first magic a hopeful witch saw someone use. It was a common experience in the harsh journey toward the exam.

“Okay, let’s try that again. Attention please! Especially you single-failures who’ve been working on your brooms since entering the school. This will totally be your first practical test!!”

Shanze Dwelling struck the floor with the Formula Broom she held upside down. The well-polished wooden floor made the gym look nice at least.

But then lines of light ran lengthwise and widthwise through the floor behind her and 2m square panels started to flip up. The panels disappeared into scattering sparkles of light, revealing a large indoor pool with a depth of more than 5m.

This was the Witch’s Chimney, the indoor training ground the witches used to practice their flight.

It was in an entirely different building from Cauldron classroom which was in the structure building. This was in the adjacent practical building. They looked like two seperate stone buildings erected side by side, but they were secretly connected. Without building standards laws, this world could be sloppy about these things. This one room was a vast, tall space, but there were identical-sized rooms both above and below it.

(This place always impresses me.)

A world without smartphones and air conditioning could seem inconvenient, but they had no trouble at all doing things which were impossible on Earth.

On either end of the room, something dropped from the ceiling. They lowered a lot like movable basketball goals, but they were 10m-tall diving boards. Except they weren’t meant to perform a beautiful dive down into the pool.

This space was designed with only straight lines. A lot of people might think of a magical barrier as a circle drawn on the floor, but straight lines were actually preferred when artificially separating a piece of the landscape from the natural world around it.

Schanze gathered the students’ attention.

“Now that you’re totally done learning the basics and studying the interior structure, it’s finally the time you’ve all been waiting for: the practical lesson. I’ll demonstrate first.”

The diving boards stood around 10m tall and they were positioned around 50m apart.

The pool was 5m deep. That must have been to ensure a student survived if she operated her broom wrong and dropped like a rock.

“The pool water is so clean, but I’ve heard that’s because they have Doctor Fish familiars eat all the filth,” said Viocia. “So if I fail this and fall in, they’ll swarm me and everyone will know I keep staying up too late and don’t take good care of my skin.”

“How about you don’t think about the possibility of failure? You should be focusing on how you’ll be flying on your broom, don’tcha think?”

Also, did students in this world not avoid the word “fail” so it wouldn’t jinx their chances of passing their exam? Even though this exam was for witches who used ''real magic''?

“Formula Brooms generally move forward. Hovering in place or moving vertically isn’t happening. A witch’s broom totally can’t stay in one place because they fly by destroying the night sky ahead of them and quickly repairing it all in their wake.”

10m was about equivalent to three stories, so reaching the top of the diving board meant climbing zig-zagging stairs with a few landings in between.

As the students’ example, Schanze Dwelling spun her broom like a baton. Her Formula Broom had the surprisingly chic coloration and mature wood grain look of a well-polished executive’s desk. The handle had a thick leather belt attached. That was the reins used to control a horse. And unlike a standard model, it had two small blade-like wings at the end.

(Are those ''canard wings''?)

“Formula Broom – Lake Padarn. Reveal your guide to me. Answer me, Merlin.”

There was no response.

An awkward silence set in, but this must have been normal for the gyaru-style instructor. Schanze didn’t seem to mind and theatrically pouted her lips.

“Oh, is that how it’s gonna be? You won’t answer me until I totally use your real name?”

She lightly kissed and whispered to the tip of the thick broom that shined like a racecar.

But the voice amplifying magic meant everyone below could hear her just fine.

“Pretty please, Myrddin?☆”

A sticky orange light raced across different parts of the broom, forming magic circles, sigils, and spells. This only made it look more like a racecar.

The Formula Broom had activated.

The gyaru-style instructor stood confidently on the end of the diving board and spoke to the poolside below.

“Witches totally use ointments to assist their flight☆”

Schanze removed the cap from a vial and scooped some white cream out with her fingers. She rubbed that into her broom with her palm. Formula Broom – Lake Padarn ticklishly vibrated side to side.

“You can also use it on yourself to, like, protect yourself from the cold, or you can totally use it on your broom like extra fuel to give it an extra speed boost. But just like with paint and spices, it’ll all go to waste if you just throw everything in at once, so you need to learn your own strengths and weaknesses and decide if you want to enhance the former or make up for the latter.”

With a grunt of effort, Schanze Dwelling raised one leg to mount her broom and then kicked off the 10m diving board with no hesitation whatsoever.

She demonstrated witch flight.

However, there was no blast of light, sonic boom, or any other flashy supernatural phenomenon. Overall, it was very quiet.

Floating would be the best word.

Simply put, running across the gym on foot would have been faster.

However.

“A witch’s broom will generally zoom forward if you don’t do anything to stop it,” continued Schanze while she slowly traveled out at the same height as the diving board. She was confident enough to fly and talk at the same time. “So a slow, stable flight is way harder. Now Witch’s Chimney is an indoor training ground, so it isn’t all that big. You need to learn what it feels like to fly slow and steady while way up high. Once you can do that, flying fast will be totally easy for you. How about this?”

She made it look easy, but when the flying instructor pulled on the reins, her Formula Broom aimed almost straight upwards and decelerated further.

Now she was moving slower than walking speed. Hovering and vertical takeoffs and landings weren’t completely impossible, but they definitely weren’t something your average person could do.

She had the assistance of an ointment made from Iceland moss and sandalwood, which increased stability during low-speed flight, but managing such a slow speed without stalling demonstrated just how much knowledge, technique, and willpower she had as a witch.

Myousou Yagoro was reminded of an old term while he looked up at that special maneuver.

(''The cobra''?)

After spending more than a minute coasting across the 50m gap, Schanze placed her feet on the other diving board. Self-taught or not, her skill was very real. She had what it took to teach as a prep school instructor.

After winking, blowing a kiss, and raising a leg to dismount the broom, she gave the students their instructions using her magically amplified voice.

“Attention please. Are you ready? It’s finally time for the practical lesson I know you’ve all been waiting for☆”

The witch students in Halloween costumes rushed toward the only stairway. In no time, the line looked like a store with a good sale shortly before opening time. The most excited girls were the single failures and the ones who had transferred from another prep school. They were the ones who had never used Carraway Cs’s practice facility before.

They were free to use their time how they liked. Ultimately, they weren’t even required to listen to their instructor Schanze.

Unlike a normal school, everyone here had already read all of the textbooks and had already failed the entrance exam at least once. They each had trouble with a different area and it was less important for them to listen to the explanations of other areas.

But it was their own responsibility if they stopped paying attention to everything and couldn’t keep up with the lessons. If their grades suffered as a result, the prep school wasn’t going to return their monthly tuition.

The staircase continued on and on. Next to Yagoro, Viocia used the wait time to pout her lips and flip through some small flash cards. Since it involved memorization, she was likely studying Admiration.

“ATU 0500 is the Supernatural Helper’s Name. ATU 1000 is the Anger Competition.”

“You need to memorize more than just the big round numbers, Viocia. Being lazy isn’t going to help you in the long run.”

“Shut up! There are over a thousand of them! It’s too many!”

“It may be memorization, but it’s useful knowledge, don’tcha think? '''+1 point: To help memorize as many as possible, you can start with ones where the index title is also the title of the story, since those are easier.''' For example, ATU 0328a is Jack and the Beanstalk and ATU 0510a is Cinderella. And when the index title is only a description, you can use the same tactic as for studying history: just picture the characters or their personalities and you’ll never forget it. ATU 0124 is Blowing Down the House, but it’s easier to remember if you picture the three little pigs.”

“Ehh? But, teacher, some of these flashcards must be wrong. They have the same number meaning different stories.”

“That’s the tricky part. The letters and asterisks at the end are remnants of some older systems of organization. Just remember that the flow of the story differs depending on the record style. Like how ATU 0315 is the Unfaithful Sister and ATU 0315a is the Man-Eating Sister.”

“Why does it have to be so confusing!?”

Viocia held her head in her hands and took a step up the stairs as the line moved, but then she shouted at Yagoro.

“Th-then what about you, teacher!? What’s ATU 0310!?”

“The Girl in the Tower. But it’s easier to remember by the name Rapunzel, don’tcha think?”

“Darn. So if you know them, you don’t even have to think about it?”

“You need to break your habit of finding people who can’t do what you can’t so you don’t feel as bad. That won’t help you with your exam.”

Just like a farmer had to know the names of the seeds they sowed on their land, ATU numbers were the very foundation of the witch world. A witch had to memorize them, but there was also some organization to how the numbers were laid out. Being able to rattle them off wasn’t something to be proud of.

“Grr. The Aspect of Admiration is just a bunch of fancy stories. It’s so childish. I want to be a more mature witch who’s right at home in the shadows of the night!”

“Verily, thou art a fool.”

“Why are you insulting me in old-timey speak!?”

Viocia literally jumped in surprise, but that was the least of her worries.

There were no cheats or shortcuts for studying. No one was stupid enough to skip to page 50 of their textbook just because working all the math problems was a pain.

“You can’t rank any of the Three Aspects above the other two. No witch can fly without learning all three.”

Which meant you had to learn it all from the beginning. As many times as it took.

If you didn’t understand it, you had to go back and relearn it all from the last point you did understand.

“Specifically, the Aspect of Antiquity produces the power, but the extreme mental concentration of using a broom creates a risk of confusion. With the Aspect of Admiration, you use the motif of a text to control that power and apply the brakes. Now, Viocia, what role is provided by the Aspect of Amorality – by the Black Mass that intentionally includes people’s biases and malice against witches?

“1. Applies a weight for stability.

“2. Explosively amplifies the power by intentionally pushing it beyond control.

“3. Purifies the power by passing it through a special filter.”

“???”

“The correct answer is 2.”

Yagoro raised two fingers for the girl who, for some reason, was hesitant to guess at a multiple choice question.

“The Aspect of Amorality is a tricky one to get your head around, so some people end up falling for the baseless discrimination and lies and start worshiping a demon because they believe the power of the Black Mass is real. On the other hand, the Aspect of Admiration is the most simplified, so it’s easy to understand. That’s why it’s so valuable as a brake when you need one right away. You can learn that one just by memorizing the texts, so you don’t have to learn how to apply it or work any complex calculations. To be blunt, only an idiot wouldn’t learn it, don’tcha think?”

The line was slowly moving forward. And upward since they were climbing stairs.

The 10m climb covered three flights of stairs. Some might find that height nerve-wracking, but…

“Wow, we’re really high now! I’m so excited!!”

“Viocia. I get that, so stop swinging your broom around. You’ll knock someone off.”

Yagoro quietly cautioned the girl with the beaming smile.

She was not afraid of heights. If anything, they energized her.

That might seem silly, but it may have been one of the qualities looked for in a witch.

Once they arrived at the top, it was finally time for Viocia and Dorothea to use the prep school’s practice facility for the first time.

Yagoro heard a quiet groan.

Zombie Girl Dorothea shrank down when she saw the diving board. The tearful look behind her glasses said this was more about not wanting to be the center of attention than it was about a fear of heights. She was an extremely rare case among all the prep school students rushing in to practice as much as possible.

“Dorothea, let’s play rock-paper-scissors for it!!”

“Eep!? Eh? Ehh!?”

“Darn, my rock lost. You get to go first, Dorothea.”

“Ehh? Eep. Y-y-y-y-you can go first.”

The nervous girl with slipping glasses had won, but she let her friend go ahead of her. It wasn’t Yagoro’s problem, but could she really come out on top in the exam like this?

Meanwhile, Viocia must have sensed that insisting Dorothea go first would get them nowhere, so she walked out ahead.

“Then I’ll go first. Now to get Mephistopheles ready. I’ll rub that ointment on him.”

“Hey, Viocia, what ointment are you using?”

“What else, teacher? I used black myrobalan and ginger for some extra fuel.”

(Wait. Doesn’t that provide extreme acceleration? Like an afterburner!?)

“Since slow speeds are so unstable, I figured flying will be way easier if I have enough speed. And with that, Viocia Modestlucky is off!”

“No, wai-”

The explosive sound was a lot like an artillery blast.

She had blasted off and stabbed her broom into the ceiling.

The indoor pool was more than 50m long, but the entire structure really did tremble vertically.

What did she think would happen? Had she not given a single thought to the obvious outcome of using so much acceleration in an enclosed space like the Witch’s Chimney indoor training ground?

The gyaru-style instructor looked up at the ceiling from the other diving board and sounded legitimately impressed.

“Wow. We have the deep pool in case someone falls, but we totally didn’t expect anyone to run into the ceiling.”

“Ughhh.”

Woozy Viocia dropped into the pool with her witch’s broom in hand. Unfortunately, there was nothing Yagoro could do for her here. That unnatural toughness was her one strong point.

And seeing such a spectacular failure only made the shy bandage zombie girl more nervous.

<span style="font-size:75%">“Eep.”</span>

(Yeah, I’m not surprised.)

Dorothea had petrified while holding her Formula Broom in her hands and shrinking down.

Yagoro was a personal tutor, so he didn’t need to help out any of the other students. In fact, increasing another girl’s score would only hurt Viocia’s chances. He knew that, but what about in this case? Maybe he should help when Viocia was the source of the trouble.

“Um, uh, don’tcha think?”

“Eep!? Um, what?”

“Look at it this way: anything you do now will look great by comparison. Takes some of the pressure off, don’tcha think? Or you could touch something cold to forcibly relax that tension.”

Dorothea hesitantly did as he suggested by holding the solid tip of her broom. It appeared to work.

It was probably best not to tell his was based on the Earth knowledge that touching the icy demon of the Black Mass would never be pleasant and would only scatter your focus.

“O-okay.”

Dorothea retied the bandage around her forehead like a headband. Maybe it helped her focus.

The shy glasses and bandages girl uncapped a vial and rubbed the ointment on herself instead of her broom. Yagoro felt like she would scold him if he watched her fingers running along her skin.

He couldn’t know what the exact recipe was, but he detected the scent of a few different herbs.

(The ones I can sense the most clearly are common agrimony and common ash. So is it meant to make her body seem lighter than it is?)

That too was an important factor in flight.

Dorothea mounted her broom and muttered something under her breath. As if in prayer.

“Formula Broom – Lyceum. …P-please answer me, Aristotle.”

A pattern drawn in pale light appeared on the broom. Red, yellow, blue, and green lights raced across it.

She grabbed the round grip that resembled a ship’s wheel and leaned forward. She stared at the other diving board 50m ahead.

She shifted her weight forward.

She was mere seconds away from throwing herself off the diving board and into the air.

“?”

Yagoro noticed something odd out of the corner of his eye.

He turned around to see one of the witch students – a naked cloak vampire – fidgeting with something. The crowd was in the way, but he saw her coat a 30cm wax doll with oil and stick a long needle in it.

The doll was modeled after the victim, it had the victim’s hair or nail inside, and it was given a temporary baptism to create a link with its victim. That way any damage done to the doll would affect its designated target as well.

Curses were another form of witchcraft.

They were just one of the vast amounts of knowledge a witch had to learn when studying for the entrance exam.

However…

(Who is stupid enough to actually ''use'' them!? And just to trip up a fellow student!?)

“Oh, no. Schanze!!” shouted the blond boy.

Schanze Dwelling must have noticed what was happening too. On the other diving board, she pulled a parchment talisman from her pocket with a swiftness not usually associated with her gyaru look.

She tightly gripped the talisman that included a willow leaf as a purifying herb of the water element which also carried the power of revenge. And the witch spoke a word of power.

“I’m totally sending that back at you. Mycpeblis!!!”

“Gah!”

The vampire girl doubled over. The curse had been returned to its caster with a last-second exorcism, so the physical damage wouldn’t have actually reached Dorothea.

But she had always been a timid girl.

The unexpected accident caused her to screw up the timing of her jump and her foot slipped below her.

She fell.

“Eep!? Ahh!”

“Dammit!!”

Why should Yagoro have to do this for someone other than Viocia? He didn’t have time to ask himself that. He didn’t even hesitate to kick off the diving board and dive into the deep pool.

He dropped 10m in a flash.

He couldn’t see the great pillar of water he had created. In fact, he had sunk so deep and sharp, he had to swim back up to reach the drowning girl.

The depth was necessary to prevent injury if someone fell, but 5m was too deep to stand on the bottom. This was a literally life-or-death problem for the panicked drowning girl.

(Damn, I should’ve removed my corset and parchment armor before I dived in!)

He thought back to his water landing training when he was in the Force. He had been kicked into a deep pool with an open parachute attached. Not that that knowledge would be much use in this world since he wouldn’t be fighting enemies in a flying weapon here.

Yagoro circled behind Dorothea, whose bandages had partially come undone when she hit the water, and pulled both their heads from the water by more or less pinning her arms behind her back.

“Pwah! Breathe, Dorothea. You’re safe now, so take slow, deep breaths!!”

“Cough, cough, ughh!! Cough!”

Yagoro noticed something while grabbing and pulling up the drowning bandage zombie girl.

She had applied her witch’s ointment to her body and when he breathed in, he mostly detected common agrimony and common ash. He knew the ointment was meant to assist her flight by making her body seem lighter, but…

(Wait. Is that what I think it is?)

Applying an ointment to the body to protect the witch like a flight suit was fine. So was applying it to the broom for additional fuel like an afterburner. Artificially lightening the body was another valid strategy.

How a witch used her ointment was up to her. Just like with paint and spices, you couldn’t just throw everything in at once, so it was important to decide whether you would enhance your strengths or make up for your weaknesses.

But this couldn’t be explained by a single witch using a single ointment.

The girl who had fallen in earlier doggy-paddled over. Her long skirt had spread out to around her in the pool.

“Dorothea, I found your glasses!”

“You idiot, don’t approach a drowning girl from the front! Are you trying to get yourself killed, Viocia!?”