Editing Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Fumi Saito (section)

===3===

I am changing. The liquid "Reina" is continuously being poured into the container "I", while the liquid "I" is overflowing from that container.

The container is still me, but its contents are Reina; Reina has become my essence.

I still hardly speak anything in the classroom (although Kimura-kun, whose desk is behind mine, talks to me from time to time), but I don't feel depressed anymore.

I am not alone.

That belief gives me strength. That thought I have been holding has gone somewhere far away.

I don't care about anything, as long as Reina is with me.

That's what I thought. That's what I believed.

But not in my wildest dreams did I expect that things could still get worse.



"I can't find my wallet!" Mizuhara-san screams agitatedly.

Everyone present at the homeroom after classes, our class teacher Kosugi-sensei included, focuses on her as she desperately searches for her wallet. The member of her group are watching her worriedly. For a few moments, the classroom lapses into silence, until someone checks if their own wallet is still there, and the others follow suit. I don't bring my wallet to school, but I reach into my pocket nonetheless in order not to be the odd one out.

By the time everyone has confirmed that their money is safe, Mizuhara-san is sitting still in her seat, visibly troubled. Kosugi-sensei walks toward her.

"Have you found it?"

"No..."

"Are you sure that it was there?"

"Absolutely."

"Understood," the teacher says with a frown and goes back to the teacher's desk. "All right, as you surely heard, Mizuhara has lost her wallet. Of course, this may be some sort of misunderstanding on her end, but—" he starts and explains in a ridiculously roundabout way that there is a chance that a member of this class might have stolen her wallet.

The likelihood of pickpocketing is high, considering what the missing item is. Not far in the past, there has been a fuss over a stolen mp3-player.

Mizuhara-san, convinced that it was a theft, is visibly angered, and so are the members of her group, influenced by her.

"Does anyone have a clue where her wallet might be?" the teacher asks.

The students just exchange glances. The teacher isn't expecting any answers, either — the culprit or those who know who did it wouldn't speak up right now.

Or so I thought. But I was wrong.

Kimura-kun reluctantly raises his hand.

"Kimura, do you know something?"

"No, not exactly... but there's something that bothers me."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think that it's common to take the wallet when stealing money. Normally, you would just pull out the contents, right? In fact, that's how the theft in class 5 happened."

"...Perhaps."

"Besides, it would make more sense to steal the money of all members of this class instead of only Mizuhara-san's. Yet, she's the only victim."

"What are you getting at?"

"What I want to say is that it's either a misunderstanding or a vicious joke toward Mizuhara-san."

"It's absolutely not a misunderstanding!" Mizuhara-san disagrees loudly. "Someone has played a trick on me!"

"A trick, hm? How much was in your wallet, if I may ask?"

"...1000 yen and change, but so what?" she answers grumpily.

"So it can't be because of the money, then. It looks like the goal of the culprit was teasing Mizuhara-san; and wouldn't that narrow down the list of suspects to a manageable number?" Kimura-kun says, causing everyone to exchange glances again.

That means that the culprit has a grudge against her, or at least doesn't think favorably of her?

Arriving at this thought—

—I notice that eyes are starting to focus on me.

"Huh...?"

A few students who aren't looking at me notice that a few of their classmates are focusing on me, and thus follow suit. On seeing that, yet another person gazes at me. All eyes are pinned on me.

Why? Why would they look at me?

This makes it seem like... like—

Our teacher, too, notices that I'm the center of attention, and looks at me, only to move his gaze on to Mizuhara-san. I follow his glance.

For some reason, <u>she makes a face of realization</u>.

"Saito," the teacher says to me in a stern voice, causing me to wince.

Just because he called my name? ...Yes, but I but I'm not so dumb as to not understand the situation. To me, this is just like a — death sentence.

"Do you know something?"

"Eh? Ah...er..."

I don't know anything! I'm innocent! But... I fail to say so properly.

"What's wrong? I have asked you a question, Saito."

But he's suspecting me.

"Uh..."

Everyone is looking at me, suspecting me — that's more than enough to make me lose my tongue, but they do not see that.

They understand it like so: I'm panicking because I've been busted, because I'm the culprit.

I'm perfectly aware of that, and I know that I must absolutely answer his question with confidence, but yet I find myself unable to do so.

"I... I..."

If someone was here who understand my personality — if Reina was here — she could explain it to them, but she's not here.

She's not here.

I don't have any supporters here.

"I don't... I don't know any—"

"Kosugi-sensei," Mizuhara-san says, cutting my desperate words short. I look at her in wonder.

There is no anger in her face anymore.

"What is it, Mizuhara?"

"I did something to Saito-san that may have made her hold a grudge against me. I... I played a trick on her. Thinking about it now... that was mean of me," she says with tears in her eyes. "But I... I did it because I thought I could help her to open herself!"

Surprised at what she said, I gaze at her. The sorrowful expression on her face isn't faked. Mizuhara-san is honest.

However, it's unclear to me whether she really tried to open my heart with that fake love letter, or just persuaded herself of that noble goal because of the situation she has found herself in.

Whatever the answer is, there is one thing that has become a fact.

Her words have settled my position.

"..."

All eyes fixed on me.

Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes.

Like light projected through a loop, their reproachful glances pierce through me.

There is no suspicion in them anymore.

It's been decided.

<u>It's been decided that I am the culprit.</u>

"N-No, I haven—"

"It was YOU!" Takatsuki-san cuts me short. "You were pissed off, but you couldn't defend yourself because you were too scared! That's why you resorted to such a dirty trick — to vent your frustration!"

"Don't say that, Kaho. I'm... I'm also at fault..."

''Also.''

The words Mizuhara-san sobbed subliminally yet clearly implied that I'm the culprit and that she's the victim.

As a result, her words added fuel to the fire. With a fire-red head, Takatsuki-san walks toward me. Fearing to be hit, I cover my head and cower.

However, she did not come to hit me. Her goal was my bag. She picks it up, opens it, turns it upside town and pours its contents onto my desk.

And for some reason, there is an unfamiliar wallet among the things that fall on my desk. However, someone has mangled it with a cutter.

"...Saito, you are to come to the staff room afterwards."

The moment the teacher says so, uncontrollable sobbing resounds through the classroom.

Needless to say, it was Mizuhara-san.



I look around.

Eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Eyes.

Like an ice pick, their reproachful glances pierce through me.

Reina isn't '''here'''.

In other words—no one is '''here'''.

I don't have any supporters '''here'''.




The next day, my desk has disappeared.

Up until now, I have merely been air for everyone, but from now on, they won't even grant me to be air anymore.

I'm not even allowed to exist.

A missing desk in a classroom is like a missing piece in a puzzle; but in this case it's my desk that is missing. I must be the only one who feels that a piece is missing — for everyone else, the puzzle is completed.

I go to the veranda and move the desk and the chair back to their original place. Original place? Really? No, perhaps the original place where my seat is supposed to be is not in the classroom, but at the veranda.

But while that may be true... I don't want to notice.

White, everything turns white.

Everything besides Reina and me turns white.

Like a novel lacking spaces, I'm unable to make sense of the white world '''here'''. They disappear. Everything besides me flees out of reach.

Or perhaps—

I'm the one who is lacking color.




The lunch break ends without my talking to anyone.

I really haven't spoken a word, since I couldn't meet Reina, either. Not one word has been spoken for me or toward me.

People have stopped speaking to me. No, that's no news, but at least previously, there was no ill will in that.

I wasn't even allowed of the absolute minimum of conversation. Even Kimura-kun wasn't able to overcome the magnetic field around me that has emerged in class.

"..."

I was aware of it.

I was aware of it, but this makes it clear.

No one cares if I just disappeared.

The world wouldn't disappear when I disappeared. The blue sky would completely ignore me and not even let it rain. No one cares whatever happens to me. I'm absolutely separated from the rest of the world.

Again, a familiar thought assaults me.

—I... I can't endure it anymore, Reina!

Why? What have I done? I didn't want to be disliked. That's all... I just shut myself into my little box because I was afraid of getting hurt, yet why do they pierce it with spears?

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

Save me Reina, save me Reina, save me rena, savemerena.



"They're all so mean."

"—Huh?"

Reina stands before my eyes.

"'Huh'? What is it, Fumi?"

"Ah, mmm... nothing."

Classes have ended; I have caught Reina when she was about to go to her club and consulted her at our usual spot on the stairs to the roof.

Yes, that sounds perfectly natural. 

Why is it then that something felt fatally off? There's no reason.

"Why would they think that you're the culprit without conclusive proof? There's no way you would do that."

"...Well, they don't know my personality. Besides, Mizuhara-san's wallet was in my bag, so it's natural that they would think that I did it."

"Yes, but Fumi... why was that wallet in your bag, anyway?"

"Because—"

I don't really want to think about it...

"...The first reason that comes to mind would be because someone is trying to set you up."

"...Yeah, most likely." Unless I have a split personality. "...Someone who hates me?"

"I... I don't think so. You're not one to make a lot of enemies... I think that someone simply thought that it would be easy to lay the blame on you."

Perhaps.

But anyway, <u>someone hated me enough to be fine with putting the blame on me.</u>

"That's just heartless! We have to find and teach that culprit a lesson!"

"No... no need to!"

"Why? Aren't you suffering under the current situation?"

"I am. I am, but..."

"But?"

"The problem isn't new. It's merely surfaced now..."

"That's not... I mean, you weren't particularly unpopular..."

"You think so? I'm pretty sure it was a matter of time. For example, if Mizuhara-san's position and mine had been reversed, I most likely would have ended up with the short end of the stick."

"No, you're—"

Reina is at a loss for words. When it comes to deciding who is at fault, it doesn't matter what was done, but who did it. Between a teacher and a student, the student will be the bad one; between a honor student and a delinquent, the delinquent will be the bad one; between a beautiful person and an ugly person, the ugly person will be the bad one.

And of course, between Mizuhara-san and me, I will be the bad one.

In other words, the result has been decided all along.

Smart as Reina is, she realizes that.

"...That's not true!"

Reina doesn't believe her own words, and looking at her face, she is admonishing herself for faltering.

...But there's nothing to admonish herself for, since it's a fact.

"Reina."

"Hm?"

"You're still on my side, right?"

"Of course I am!"

Good.

I have a supporter. I have a irreplaceable friend. I have Reina.

<u>So I may still be here.</u>

"Ah—" Reina suddenly says, so I follow her gaze.

"Um..."

Kimura-kun is standing there, seemingly feeling a bit out-of-place.

"...Kimura-kun? What's the matter?"

"Ah, yes... can you spare a minute?" he asks reluctantly.

"Y-Yeah... what is it?"

"To come straight to the point, Ashi-chan told me to call you out, because I happened to know that you're here sometimes."

"Ashi-chan?"

"I'm talking about Ashizawa-kun! Toshiki Ashizawa."

The bad-mannered Ashizawa-kun...? What would he want from me?

Whatever it is, it can't be good for me. Kimura-kun's expression makes this obvious.

"Err... is he... angry?"

"..."

He just gazes closely at me, and eventually averts his eyes.

"...He is?"

"Saito-san. It might be better if you didn't go," he mutters with eyes cast away.

...It looks like it's more serious than I thought. But if I don't go, Ashizawa-kun's aversion toward me will only grow.

I—don't want that. I don't want to be avoided even more because of a misunderstanding.

"...I'm going."

"Okay..." he says as if he was going to get a beating from Ashizawa-kun.

"Fumi," Reina addresses me in a worried tone.

"I'll be fine," I smile and wave her goodbye.




Brought to our classroom (Kimura-kun immediately left for his club), Ashizawa-kun drives me into a corner, and without any time for confusion, I am surrounded by his buddies, Takatsuki-san and the other members of the group, while a few of my other classmates are watching from a safe distance. Mizuhara-san is here as well, but watching from afar with an uneasy expression.

"Okay. Do you know what this is?" Ashizawa-kun says in an oppressive voice as he holds something against my face. It's hard to see from such a short distance, but I can recognize that it's Mizuhara-san's wallet.

"—"

I try to answer, but the words stick in my throat. Everyone is watching me closely and with blatant enmity; I feel that I'm not allowed to speak. I'm scared.

His right arm, which is right beside my head, might lose it any moment. He definitely wants to. He is angry. And the perfect target to vent his anger on is right before his eyes.

I'm scared! Why are they looking at me like that? I can't say anything! I'm not allowed to speak!

"Hey! I asked you what the fuck this is!" he yells. His right arm is twitching.

"It's a... wallet..."

"Whose wallet?"

"Mizuhara-san's..."

"Right. It's Yuu's wallet."

Yuu? Come to think of it, that's Mizuhara-san's first name.

"It's the wallet I gave her for her birthday. It's the wallet you cut up with a goddamn cutter!" he says, some of his saliva flying on my face.

Anger has made him lose more than half of his reasoning. Had I been a guy, he would have beaten me up already long ago.

"You knew that Yuu's dating Toshiki, didn't you?" Takatsuki-san says with a scary face. "And you also knew that this wallet was a present from him, right?"

I don't. I had no idea that they were a couple. Such rumors don't reach me at all.

"That's why you stole the wallet when you were pissed off, no? You can't hide it!"

No, I didn't do anything!

But I can't say that. Even if I did and explained myself, they wouldn't believe me.

"Do you get that? This isn't something you can make up for with fucking money!"

His right hand moves. I reflexively close my eyes. However, he could somehow control himself and hit the wall behind me.

My mind goes blank like white paint. I'm trembling all over.

What am I supposed to do? I'm scared! Please, don't hurt me. I haven't done anything!

"Save me..."

I mutter at last, cornered and intimidated.

"Save me..."

At first, the others seem to think that I am begging toward them, but they quickly realize that's not the case and are taken aback.

"Save me..."

I seek help. Of course, there is only one person I would seek help from.

"Save me... Reina."

I didn't want to get Reina involved, so I tried to solve the matter without her coming with me.

But I failed.

I imagine how her long hair sways as Reina appears and swiftly frees me from their claws. I have a feeling that this picture will become reality. And then she will smile at me with her absurdly beautiful face, "Everything is all right, Fumi."

—However, Reina didn't come.

That sweet illusion took me from the ground to the clouds, to the pinnacle. But at the end of the day, I keep crawling on the ground in reality. I am thrown off the pinnacle again.

"Uh...uh..."

Unable to hold it in, I start to cry.

Thrown off course by my tears, the signs for violence disappear, even though Ashizawa-kun is still visibly angered.

"What?! Do you think we'll forgive you if you cry?!" Takatsuki-san shouts as she draws near to me. "Besides, there's no one who would want to 'save' someone like ''you''!"

"But there is..."

"Who? Your mom? A teacher? They would only help you because it's their duty!"

"There is!"

"And who would that be?! Good lord, you are—"

"Reina! Reina Kamisu is there for me!" I scream. In a voice that might well have been the strongest in my entire life.

Takatsuki-san—no, everyone present—widen their eyes in response to my powerful shout. I'm surprised by myself, too, but I don't regret it.

Because that's the one thing that I will not allow anyone to disagree with me.

I do have an irreplaceable friend.

I do have Reina Kamisu.

I won't let anyone say otherwise.

Taking advantage of their confusion, I escape. <u>I escape from ''them''.</u> I no longer need anything. Nothing.

All I need is Reina.

As long as Reina is with me, I'm perfectly fine.