Editing NouCome: Volume 1 Chapter 2 (section)

===Part 3===
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"I'm back.......I said?"

When I returned home there was no sign of Chocolat. She was left to watch the house, did she go out without permission?......

"Oh well, its good."

Now Chocolat is away. I need to think of a way to make Yukihira laugh immediately. 

......"It's useless."

In the middle of cooking supper, even though I was only thinking of the problem nothing has come to mind.

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To begin with, I am not a comedian and making people laugh from the bottom of their heart is an impossible task.

Probably as Utagi-sensei says, even if there's no way to do it but you put your soul into it it can work out somehow.

I stopped heating the pan while I sighed and Chocolat came back as though she had timed it.

"I'm back!"

"Oh, where did you go?......What is that bag?"

On the back of Chocolat, who vigoursly jumped into the room, was a swollen rucksack.

"Goods to make Furano-san laugh. For Kanade-san's sake I've run around all day collecting them."

She looked happy as she laid the rucksack on the floor.

Even though she prepared all this my expecations are low, but with no ideas of my own I'm in the frame of mind to clutch at straws. I reached out a hand to the rucksack to figure out it's contents.

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"Um......What is this smell."

Chocolat had turned her attention to the kitchen and was sniffing the air.

"Ah, that's the Pot-au-feu for dinner."

"Po-pot-au-feu......this house has something so trendy?"

This is the first time I've seen someone say something like trendy. To begin with Pot-au-feu is actually a simple home cooked meal, there's nothing trendy about it.

"After looking in the rucksack......no, did you eat already?"

"Lets do it, lets do it!"

She looked like a dog being told to wait, it's hard to check it calmly.

*Chew*

"......Woaa......this......what is it called......immensely......Pot-au-feu is it."

The inner dog was showing in the frighteningly poor vocabulary. Well, I could tell she was satisfied with the taste just from watching her face relax.

"Now I want you to show what is in the rucksack."

"Ah, that's so. Fufufu, well then I'll swiftly pull out a bit."

She reached into an outer pocket of the rucksack and handed me a book from it.

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『10 Ways to Make Girls Smile ~ You are now The Popularity King!』

......It already looks very fishy. And then there's the 'good taste' in the subtitle.

"Let me see."

In all probability this type of book is useless. But with Chocolat spending so much effort to bring it I can't just reject it so I began paging through it.

There were a lot of illustrations making it fairly thick, and reading to the end seemed a bit troublesome.

Just after the table of contents I found a page that showed the main points so I decided to look at that.

<nowiki><① You are pretty. And I admire you.></nowiki>

Suddenly suprisingly blunt contents, if it's said that way surely even the worst natured woman would like it I think.

<Comment: If, the other party is not a pretty girl then smilingly joke a bit 『You are pretty』.>

That's at the limit of rudeness!

<nowiki><② Use a metaphor to compliment them.></nowiki>

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Putting number ① to use? Smiling like a sunflower, is it doable? Cleverly saying it should please a girl.

<nowiki><</nowiki>Comment:  For example a horse-faced girl 『Hey, you! The one with the face that looks like it chases carrots.』<nowiki>></nowiki>

Enfuriating.

<nowiki><</nowiki>③ Give the complement your companion wants from you.<nowiki>></nowiki>

How is that slightly helpful? Since it varies case by case.

<nowiki><</nowiki>Comment: Well, the previous example might not have been what they were waiting for, and they won't necessarily be happy……<nowiki>></nowiki>

Then don't write it!

<nowiki><</nowiki>④ First of all be seen laughing.<nowiki>></nowiki>

Ah, this part could be quite deep. I'm certainly not happy, so there's no reason for those around me to smile.

<nowiki><</nowiki>By the way the author, wearing sunglasses and a coat in summer, practiced this in front of a little girl and made her burst into tears.<nowiki>></nowiki>

That's just like an ordinary pervert isn't it?!

<nowiki><</nowiki>A little girl's tear streaked face......Hahahaha<nowiki>></nowiki>

Police officer there's a suspicious person there!

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<nowiki><</nowiki>⑤ Give money.<nowiki>></nowiki>

That's useless! Don't do that! Then they are just likely to smile temporarily.

<nowiki><</nowiki>The smile obtained by this method is a 100% immitation of a real one.<nowiki>></nowiki>

The goal of this guy's book is grasped it seems!

<nowiki><</nowiki>⑥ Spank on the butt.<nowiki>></nowiki>

No no no, what are you suggesting without warning!

<nowiki><</nowiki>Comment: When the writer's wife does I smile without fail.<nowiki>></nowiki>

That's at the M level!

<nowiki><</nowiki>However, if you say do I prefer beating or being beaten, I prefer beaten......<nowiki>></nowiki>

Thrash each other freely!

"What's with this book……"

Already I'm disgusted. After all that I don't have any expectations left but since I'm already this far I'll finish it to the end.

<nowiki><</nowiki>⑦ Say 『I think you should laugh』 to them.<nowiki>></nowiki>

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That's a trick isn't it!

<nowiki><</nowiki>Comment: If she's usually expresionless and says  『Sometimes I don't know which expression to wear』 you reply back with the above.<nowiki>></nowiki>

That situation absolutely never happens!

<nowiki><</nowiki>⑧ Talk about the next year.<nowiki>></nowiki><ref>Japanese proverb [らいねんのことをいうとおにがわらう, rainen no koto o iu to oni ga warau] If you talk of next year, demons will laugh</ref>

There's limits it to being a demon! Limit it to a reasonable scope!

<nowiki><</nowiki>Comment: Though this only seems effective on demons, all women are demons at heart.<nowiki>></nowiki>

What's with that! Though I sort of see your point a bit.<ref>Might be misunderstanding this: ものです、じゃねえよ! なんでちょっとうまい事言った、みたいにしようとしてんだ!</ref>

<nowiki><</nowiki>⑨ Laugh......<nowiki>></nowiki>

What's that? That's the least understandable so far.

<nowiki><</nowiki>Comment: It's good!<nowiki>></nowiki>

You're really motivated!

<nowiki><</nowiki>⑩ Tickle! <nowiki>></nowiki>

Take them on?!

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"Make this out of print immediately!"

I got so angry I threw the book at the floor.

"That didn't help?"

"Ah, it didn't even help a millimeter."

The fact that merchandise like that gets sold is a miracle. Publisher, do your work properly! 

"Really??"

Chocolat picked up the book from the floor and looks at it interestedly.

"It's worthless?"

How can you expand contents like that to 300 pages. That's the interesting part.

"Well, it's interesting with the Secret Technique 『48 Tickle techniques for winning in Sumo』, all illustrations included."

What the hell is that......It's a waste.

"It's okay, I'm going to take a shower."

I spoke to Chocolat who's eyes brightened for some reason afterward in the living room.

"Oh......still reading it?"

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After the shower I returned to the living room toweling my head dry and found Chocolat was still crazy.

There doesn't seem to be any value in reading that book, but alternatively there's no reason to stop her. I sat on the sofa and turned on the TV.

I should check the contents of the unopened rucksack but likely the book was the best of it and the rest is a waste of time.

What kind of reference book is that I thought, as I found a comedy show.

......<nowiki>*pfft*</nowiki>

Although the show was an ordinary talk show that brought on entertainers it was still amusing. However, even if I steal this and use it on Yukihira it wouldn't be funny. 

How to say it, laughter is from not only the material, but the creating the right atmosphere, and bringing all the complex parts together. I don't seem to have that sense.

Then how am I to make Yukihira laugh? I can't think of a conclusive way, as that thought went around and around in my brain, suddenly someone put a hand on my shoulder.

"Huh, Chocolat?"

"Kanade-san, I'm finished learning the 48 tickle techniques in sumo's. I really want to try it but there was no way."

With a fearless smile Chocolat leapt onto the sofa.

"And, this is a good opportunity for skinship."

"Skinship?" 

"Yes, I want to help you so much with this, but Kanade-san is aloof, and I see it's because we don't have a close bond. And wanting a little more I think skin should touch."

What kind of reasoning leads to that conclusion. Me being aloof is just because anyone who's your partner will get worn out?

Suddenly I was grabbed and turned around, and two hands were shoved into my armpits. 

"Wait a minute, what are you doing, get off me......too strong!"

Daigo-san and Utage-sensei were both superhumanly strong, but this belongs to a different category. My body itself was shook like it was in a vise and clamped down on. 

I mean, in truth, it's like, my chest......my chest has reached my backbone!

[[image:NoucomeVol1 143.jpg|thumb]] 
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"Haha, resistance is futile!"

And, what is this scent......this fragrance is amazing. In the exquisite fragrance, I had an illusion that my brain was melting......reasoning......dangerous......

"Oh, that's a good relaxed look on your face Kanade-san."

Wait wait wait! Calm down me! Even though she appears to be a girl, it's a creature from a strange world, it's not human, it has a tail that shakes like a dog when, it's a dog, a dog! She's only a dog.

The excited petting is over. I, as the owner, need to train it properly.

"Hey Chocolat, let go, this is an order!"

As I turned my body, Chocolat's hand which was in my armpit touched my nipple and a strange sound came out.

"Fu fu, well then I'm starting. 『B.O Destruction』"

"No, wait a moment----Buhaha."

My armpits were single-mindedly groped.

"That's good, lets continue with 『Dishelved Side Button』, starting."

"Cho-Chocolat, I said stop......Gyahahaha!"

I was writhing in anguish on the sofa.

"This is a bit amazing, 『Crysanthemum Straight Line』 <ref>No clue if correct, 菊座一文字 is the original. Found one reference to it being a sex position with one partner sitting turned 90 degrees on the lap.</ref>."

"Yo-wai-it's useless Hyahahahaha."

"Fu fu, real skinship starts from here."

"Ihi<ref>Can't figure out what word he's trying to say, starts with いひ.</ref>......ihi.......really Ihyahyahyahyahyahyahya."

"Ahaha......aha......ahahahaha."


Tens of minutes later. I was lying on the floor wrapped in an extraordinary feeling of euphoria.

I laughed. When was the last time I laughed like this.

"Aha.....Chocolat......Laughter is a wonderful thing right."

"? Kanade-san that seemed a touch more dangerous than usual."

It's useless. I'm completely worn out, I don't even have the willpower to retort.

Or perhaps I should say, I'm sleepy. But falling asleep......can I sleep like this......no, this is useless for making Yukihira laugh......nothing came to mind......I should do this to Yukihira......I can clear the mission, Yukihira can be happy, doesn't that kill two birds with one stone......but will it be sexual harassment when I do it......if instead Chocolat does it I don't clear it afterall......ah, I'm sleepy......sleepy.