Editing Watashi Tachi no Tamura kun:Volume1 Chapter1 (section)

===Part 3===

When it was time for goodbye, I’d say "See you tomorrow!" When we met, I’d say "You're late!".

A week passed like this, and eventually I started to say ｢Mambo!｣<ref>In Chinese, this is a loanword that refers to the latin dancing style, "Mambo". </ref> to match Matsuzwa's ｢Mhn!?｣.

As for the running, it was still the same.

We'd start running together, and not after long, I'd be left behind. Every time she passed me around the circle, I'd grasp at the opportunity to talk to her. Like, ｢Yesterday's lunch was horrible｣ ｢This morning a cat glared at me｣ ｢What blood type are you?｣.

｢There’s a scar on your elbow!｣. And after that Matsuzawa would pass me, muttering ｢Mhm｣ ｢Eh｣ ｢Ah｣ in reply.

And as soon as it reached eight o’clock, we’d part ways at the athletic fields. Matsuzawa would disappear in the direction of the girl’s locker room without a trace. Just like this, we gradually grew closer to each other.

Really...

Honestly, I felt there was something fishy. Something was fishy about this—!

As I thought blankly about this, I stared out the classroom window towards the sky. I figured Matsuzawa was probably rushing home right now.

It was half past four o’clock in the afternoon, and school had ended long ago.

The sky was still very bright, and the choruses of the Aburazemi cicadas<ref>Aburazemi cicadas - A species of Japanese cicadas. </ref> emulated the grandeur of the Japanese style. It was about time for the Higurashi cicadas to appear, but it might have been too bright outside right now to hear them sing.

But, even so, he was late.

I had been waiting for Takaura, who was in a student council meeting for thirty minutes already. If I had known I was going to wait this long, I wouldn’t have agreed so easily to wait for him.

I made a resolution. If another ten minutes passed without a trace of him, I’d go home first. These few days I had been waking up early every day, so I was really sleepy right now.

"Yawwwwwwnnnnnn..." 

I gave a big yawn as I decided to go to sleep. I wiped the tears from my eyes, and lazily placed my hand on the table to cushion my chin.

But right when I did that—

Something like the sound of a shrill screech crashed open the door with a ｢bang｣.

“That—that scared me to death?! What’s going on? Something terrible?”

“Extremely—terrible! Does that girl have something wrong with her brain?”

“That [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denpa|denpa] behavior of hers is scary enough!”

This was a group of girls that were considered some of the noisy ones in class. I shrugged my shoulders with disdain. Really… couldn’t they learn from Matsuzawa a little bit?

“Oh, it’s Tamura!”

“Mhn?”

After being pointed out so suddenly, I acted like Matsuzawa and jumped ten centimeters into the air with a low cry.

“Heyyy you. You’ve been rather close to Matsuzawa lately, right? ”

Before I knew it, I was completely surrounded by these three girls. The strong stench of their perfume made me want to throw up. This was a nuisance! A nuisance!

“What’s wrong with being with Matsuzawa?! Stop being jealous!”

“Eh, what are you talking about?! Don’t badmouth us!”

“Fine by me. I’m saying, why don’t you ask Matsuzawa herself? Ask her why she isn’t applying for high school!”

“She has the brains too! I just don’t get what she’s thinking? Is her family really poor?”

As for me—

“Hn?”

I did it like Matsuzawa again.

Because of the strong odor of the perfume, my ability to think logically was impaired. The same line kept circling in my head.

Not going… to apply for high school—who was this?

<i>Matsuzawa.</i>

“This…”

My tongue refused to listen to me. I stopped completely. I re-begun my sentence.

“How is that possible… doesn’t Matsuzawa often get the highest scores in the entire grade? Even if her family were dirt poor, with scholarships, she could go anywhere!”

What was with...

What was with this girl talking rubbish. And, what did I say after that?

“Hmph—looks like Tamura didn’t know. Matsuzawa… she made a huge scene about not applying to high school. We were passing by the staff office, so we happened to hear it. It nearly scared us to death. The teacher was completely out of control, and the two of them were having a huge fight. We could hear them from miles away!”

“What did she say? Something along the lines of, ｢tests and high school have nothing to do with me, I don’t want any of it!｣...”

“The atmosphere was really horrible…”

“It was dreadful. Matsuzawa shouting like that… it was my first time seeing that. It almost looked like she was about to cry. So horrible—”

“I'm not sure if she said something weird like ｢return to my home planet｣ again. She’s at this age, and she’s still blurting out things like that. Don’t you think that’s dreadful?”

I was speechless.

My mind was in complete chaos, and I couldn’t move an inch. I only listened to their words. My brain seemed like it was paralyzed, and I found it extremely difficult to understand what these people were saying.

They said there was a “fight”?

Matsuzawa? Had a fight with the teacher?

Shouting… and even cried?

“Is what you say… actually true…?”

As I asked this, thoughts flew wildly around my heart. How this was possible? How could “that” quiet Matsuzawa do something like this?

If that was true, didn’t that mean—?

“Just tell me—you—was it real?”

“I don’t know why—when we’re talking about Matsuzawa, it’s not enough to describe her as weird. She manages to get things to such a disagreeable state.”
<!--Need a TLC check above-->

So if that was the case—from Matsuzawa’s perspective, wasn’t she in really really really really dreadful trouble?

I finally understood. And at that instant—

By reflex, I instinctively started moving. They said it was at the staff room! I burst out of the classroom without even turning my head back.

Just fifteen minutes ago, we had said “goodbye” just like usual. When she heard my voice coming from behind her, Matsuzawa had held her breath and returned a ｢Mhn｣. To go along with her, I half-jokingly replied, ｢Mambo｣. Matsuzawa looked completely distressed, and left the classroom as if fleeing. I had thought she was already on her way home.

Why was Matsuzawa having a fight in the staff office… with the teacher? There was my first question too: why didn’t she want to apply to high school?

What was going on?

“Ah!”

I didn’t know whether to call this good timing or bad timing—

On the stairs of the hallway, Matsuzawa had just appeared at the corner of the staircase. We were about to run head-on into each other because Matsuzawa happened to be coming down the stairs.

But when I saw Matsuzawa, I unexpectedly couldn’t force any words out. That was because Matsuzawa was crying.

She was emotionally unstable. Both of her cheeks were red, her hair was a mess, her mouth was distorted, and clumps of tears were pouring from her eyes.

Even the way she breathed, I couldn’t forget it.

“Matsuzawa! You! How long do you intend to keep doing this—”

The person who rushed out with his slippers pitter-pattering on the floor was the teacher. He had probably chased Matsuzawa the entire way.

“Tamura… aren’t you in the Go-Home Club? Go home already! Did you hear me!?”

Matsuzawa looked at me with dismay, as if she were being judged. She gave hoarse, rasping noises that seemed to come from the depths of her throat, as she choked on her sobs.

This entire time, I wasn’t able to move a step. I couldn’t even breath. All I could do was stare at Matsuzawa’s face.

We stayed like this. For three whole seconds.

But then the deathly silence was hewn apart. With her face lowered, Matsuzawa pushed me aside and escaped in a burst of energy. In a flash, she disappeared down the stairs without a trace. It happened so fast, even lighting couldn’t compare in terms of speed.

The teacher followed suite, and I was the only one left standing there like an idiot, blankly protruding there from the ground like a pole.

Just like an idiot.

That scene, was something I was not supposed to see—


Without even changing my uniform, I collapsed on my bed. It had already been two hours. I stared at the ceiling and didn’t move a muscle, just like a dead person.

I had been thinking ever since then.

At the same time, I had been regretting everything.

When I had rushed to Matsuzawa’s side, did I <i>think</i> I could do something for her? Or did I merely <i>want</i> to do something for her?

If I had done something then, all I did was stare at Matsuzawa’s crying face. Stare. That’s all. And I probably hurt her too! Just by using my own two eyes.

In this world, there aren’t many people who want to be seen in that state.

But I had bluntly charged in there with all my clothes, and I just stood there like a pole… in the very end. After that, I fled from the scene like I was running away, grabbed my bag, and flew home.

“Uwuuuuughh…”

I couldn’t bear it.

I couldn’t bear my own powerlessness.

I couldn’t bear how tormented my heart felt, and I clutched my head and buried myself under my sheets. Under a complete cover of darkness, I bawled sobs non-stop.

I couldn’t erase from my memory the way Matsuzawa had looked at me then. Her creased eyebrows, distorted mouth, and reddened cheeks streaked with tears!

I couldn’t call it anything close to cute. It looked something like a demon’s<ref>紅鬼: Translates to something like a red oni (a type of demon).</ref> child. Just looking at her face delivered deep spasms of pain to the heart.

It wasn’t something she wanted to show me.

To Matsuzawa, I definitely was not a person she wanted to show that face to. Definitely not!

“Uwuuuuughh…”

I didn’t know what to do. All I did was burry myself deeper into my blanket. With my body curled up, I clutched at my head. From the depths of my abdomen, bitter and pained feelings difficult to describe with words welled up to my throat. I only continuously sobbed, moaning incessantly.

And then—

I didn’t care how the evening passed. The next day came on its own.


Early in the morning.

The sky at six thirty in the morning was clear and cloudless.

I sat at the steps that I normally sat at, and looked up towards the sky as usual. I was waiting for Matsuzawa to come. After I tied my shoes, everything I needed to run was ready.

In the end, this was all I could do.

This was the conclusion at arrived at after I spent an entire night moaning, distressed, and reflecting about this.

Although I was afraid of seeing Matsuzawa, I thought about what I’d do if she never came in the mornings again. I also thought about the inverse—if I stopped showing up, Matsuzawa would probably not care so much. But thinking about that made me utterly afraid. I didn’t want to become “that kind of person”. But I also didn’t want to become the other kind of guy who casually said goodbye one day, and then never appeared again. Because if I ran away like that, I’d have to spend the rest of my life avoiding Matsuzawa. In Matsuzawa’s eyes, I’d look like some kid who was gave up just when things started getting difficult.

So I decided—

“If you have the guts, then come, Matsuzawa…!”

As I looked up towards the bright sky, I patted my cheeks. Today, the wind was rather strong, and the clouds in the sky moved very quickly, skirting across the pale blue sky.

I stared at the sky, and tightened my lips. I decided. I’d do it like usual and wait here. I would wait here for Matsuzawa.

It’d probably turn extremely awkward! I wouldn’t know what to say and become speechless! But even so, I knew I had to sit here like this, waiting for that girl to arrive.

I had already resolved myself.

“Matsuzawa… if you don’t come in five minutes, I’m going to go pick you up!”


“Mhn…”


“Mambo...!”

I only noticed her after my lungs responded by reflex.

“Yo, you’re late!”

I firmly turned my head back, and threw everything I had into a beaming smile.

That girl was right there!

She was actually right there!

She was wearing the gym clothes I recognized, and her face looked exasperated as usual as she stood there. Her snow white face and silky drifting hair were the same as always.

How should I put it? I felt relieved. All the hundred anxieties I had brooded over disappeared instantly as soon as I saw Matsuzawa, almost like a joke.

Great.

In short, that was how I felt. Really great. To be able to see Matsuzawa’s usual peaceful face, it was great.

Afterwards, we peacefully finished the usual stretching exercises, we peacefully walked onto the track, and peacefully began to run at a leisurely pace, like always.

But then, suddenly it happened.

“Yesterday, I was startled.”

“!?”

My heart seizured for a moment.

Matsuzawa was talking to me as we ran. On a normal day, she would have silently accelerated, and left me behind not after long!

“Eh? Um… that’s no surprise...”

I was honestly shocked. I was acting like Matsuzawa in front of Matsuzawa.

“Tamura-kun… was startled, right? To see my tear-stricken face…”

“You’re talking about me?”

“*Ponder*” Matsuzawa nodded. When she continued on, her voice was absolutely tiny.

“So… I thought you wouldn’t be coming anymore…”

With the movement of the wind, the tail end of her sentence disintegrated into the air. I strained to listen to her, but I couldn’t pick up a trace of her words.

But, Matsuzawa momentarily sank into silence. She only continued with her slow-moving run, side-by-side next to me. This was first time Matsuzawa took the initiative to talk to me. I knew this at the very least.

“I’m sorry…”

I decided I definitely wouldn’t run away.
<!--TLC check above appreciated-->

“Yesterday, I heard some of your private information. To put it together… I heard about you not wanting to apply to high school, and how you got into a fight. I’m sorry…!”

I tried to answer Matsuzawa as honestly and sincerely as possible. This was Matsuzawa's first time starting the conversation with me, so I wanted to use my truest and most honest self to speak with her. I omitted all the excuses and justifications. It took a great deal of difficulty to squeeze these few words out.

Matsuzawa stayed silent for quite a bit.

Huff, huff, huff. Only the sounds of regular breathing persisted for a while. But not long afterwards:

“I think, you didn’t need to apologize…”

Her almost flat voice dissolved in the wind. She continued:

“But, that… there are some discrepancies.”

After she said that line, Matsuzawa went silent again.

I hesitated for a moment—but then I opened my mouth.

“So what was the truth? Can I ask that…?”

I didn’t know many times we exhaled and inhaled between us.

But in the end, she began. “It was like this...”

And that girl continued to speak.


“I’m actually an alien!”


She actually said it...

“The planet I grew up on was actually the moon. I should be going back soon, so it’s almost time for me to give up my life on earth. So it’s not that I hate exams. It’s more like there’s no reason for me to take them.”

She actually said it. Like this, Matsuzawa was going to take the escape route. She was going to shut the door, and lock me outside even though I was eagerly trying to reach out to her.

To be honest, from the very beginning, I thought this girl’s incomprehensible behavior had some charm. It had aroused my feelings, and it had caused me to think she was an interesting girl.

But.

“You…”

I tried to keep my level head, and calmly said the words that were sitting in my heart.

“Other people are trying their best to talk to you. I don’t think it’s fair of you to keep wearing that attitude!”

It really made me worried… I had moaned and wallowed in depression for an entire night thinking about Matsuzawa’s problem.

But to be brushed off with this talk about being an alien, how was I supposed to be happy?

Of course, I’ll end up reaping what I sow, upset. It’s not like Matsuzawa asked me to do this. But from the very beginning, I had been worrying about her without her permission. Still, I definitely didn’t want Matsuzawa to think it was all her fault.

But, a sincere desire had evolved from the bottom of my heart to confront Matsuzawa, face to face.

And I received the reply that she was actually an alien.

Wasn’t that too unfair? How could she say something like that—?

“Tamura-kun, listen to me…”

Matsuzawa slowly turned her face towards me. With her eyes that seemed crystal-clear to its depths, she gazed at me intently.

“I don’t want you to get serious with my personal problems...”

Her throat choked up.

And then—

“It won’t be long before I return to the moon. When that happens, no matter what you do, my memories on this earth will completely fade away. Even my memories of Tamura-kun. Because of that, I don’t want you to get involved...”

And then...

I didn’t hear what she said next.

Because I already stopped in my tracks.

Matsuzawa noticed that I had stopped moving, so she also slowed down and looked back at me. 

I guess my facial expression must have been very strange.

In that instant, my thumping and still-glowing heart seemed to freeze. It froze over, stiffened, and shriveled up into a small ball. The pain simply cracked it open.

Just like that, I turned my back away from Matsuzawa.

It be more accurate, it was more like my entire body was chilled to its depths.

I walked off the track.

My body perfectly straight, I left the athletic complex and headed for the stairs.

[[File:Watashi Tachi No Tamura Kun v01 - 063.jpg|thumb]]
I only looked back once.

Matsuzawa was still standing there, watching me.

I immediately turned my back away from her.

I felt completely ashamed.

And I felt filled with regret—

The person who was supposed to be serious was me!
<!--TLC check appreciated-->

I was seriously worried, seriously thinking about it… I was like an idiot. This was exactly how one obtains the worst of everything!

It was enough!

Enough.

At the vacant entrance to the stairs, I brushed the dirt off of my sneakers, and the particles of dust from the athletic fields came drifting off.

I just wanted to talk to that girl. So I did try my best to tell her, but in the end I was shoved back. That was all that happened. It was nothing better, and it was nothing worse. You couldn’t even call it being dumped, because Matsuzawa never gave me an opportunity to like her.

I really was an idiot! I was so pleased with myself, yet I made a scene, and relied on my wishful thinking… I got serious...

I shouldn’t have been worried in the first place. No. From the very beginning, there was no reason for me to rush to that girl’s side. I couldn’t help her in either case.

Honestly, what did I do? What was I so flustered about? I probably looked very ridiculous like this after giving Matsuzawa so much trouble. I wanted to disappear from Matsuzawa’s eyes, right away… I wanted to disappear.


“Eh? You didn’t do it today? Go running and talking with Matsuzawa?”

“...”

“You know, I feel like Matsuzawa’s been looking at you.”

“...”

“Tamura, hey—what’s with you?”

“Tomorrow I’m going to return that to you… that thing.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll bring it back for you. Do you mind if you bring me along so I can say thank you to your dad?”

“Oh, that’s not a problem… though, honestly, what’s with you? Are you already?”

“It doesn’t matter…”

“Even if you say it doesn’t matter… your face doesn’t look like it’s no big deal!”

“I really want to wear a rock hat right now...” <ref>One of Doraemon’s accessories that one can use to be disguised as a rock on the side of the road.</ref>

“Huh?”

When I had finally came to my senses, there was only a week before it was time for final exams.

I had conveniently just stopped my stupid activities.

Not long afterwards, final exams were over—