Editing HanTsuki:Volume 2 Chapter 1 (section)

===== 5 =====

What  Yamanishi is thinking, I have no idea. The music disk he gave me is filled with anime songs. As I'm listening to the passionate music coming from the earphones, I crouch hold my head. Why are these all anime songs, Yamanishi!" 

"GO! GO! COCOGO! 

Forward! 

Fight! 

Send them flying! 

Have to win! 

Must not lose! 

Send them flying!" 

Anime songs! Classic ones, from ten years ago! The noise from the music is giving me a headache. Is Yamanishi making me listen to these songs on purpose? I endure the pain and continue listening. 

The second one is still an anime song. 

Same with the third. 

Half way through the song, I turned off my walkman. 

"..."

I took the orange disk out of my walkman and threw it towards the trashcan.

It hit the wall and fell into the can beautifully, sending out a crisp sound. 

So many weird things occur in this world. 

One of them being Natsume. 

He has a handsome face, but a horrible personality. He's also Rika's attending physician. 

Another one is Yamanishi. 

So arrogant and frivolous, but gaining more and more popularity. 

Also like this music disk. 

It's filled with these kinds of songs. 

I looked towards the window. Spring-like sunshine was pouring in through the window. I just stared at the rays of sunshine silently. That time, it was also during winter. It also had this kind of sunshine. I endured the huge pain and crawled along the ground. It's winter, but why did my back feel so warm? 


I started to reminiscence. 

Yup. 

It happened in the past. 

<!-- last edit by Pudding = would be back -->

I once fought with my dad. My father passed away when I was fourteen years old, but our fight occurred three years prior. Fighting with adults require equal strength. A ten year old child fighting with an adult, no matter how much hatred was withheld, it would not be possible to fight. It basically ends after a beating by the adult. 

I understand very clearly. 

Why? Because my body has experienced it fully. 

When I was nine--

My nose bled after being slapped, end. 

When I was ten--

It was pretty much the same as the year before. 

When I was ten--

Spring arrived and I grew a lot. The high bar that I couldn't reach before is finally within reach, and I could even pull myself up. 

Whenever I got into an argument with my father, I'd still challenge him as usual. But in the end, I'd still lose to a slap. 

At that time, I actually wasn't those naughty kids that would be scolded by parents on a daily basis. I could only be considered a non-obedient child. 

Next, I went through my fourteenth birthday in low spirits. 

That year, dad had many faults. He took mom's wage and used it all on horse racing. Of course, dad lost it all, completely. A month's living expenses was all lost because of seven horse races. My mom cried her eyes red. Seeing mother crouching in the corner and crying, a sudden feeling rushed out of my heart. 

I don't particularly love my mom. 

And I actually find her annoying. 

After all, boys of that age were all like that. 

I didn't even understand this anger myself. Well, there was no need to seek the origin, and I rushed directly towards my father. 

Dad was smoking in the cramped yard.  

At that time, I didn't even call him "old man", "pops", or "dad" anymore and switched to "hey" and "oi".

So as usual, 

"Hey!" 

I shouted. 

Father looked at me with gloomy eyes. 

"What do you want?" 

"Return the money!" 

I yelled angrily. 

I originally didn't expect to do this, but when I realized it, my shout already came out. 

"Told you to return the money!" 

"How would I have any! It's all gone!" 

"You wasted it all, didn't you?" 

"I said I don't have any money." 

"Return IT!" 

Father threw the cigarette butt onto the floor. There was no word called "manners" in his dictionary. He always threw the cigarette butts in the yard. 

"Hey, what are you talking about?" 

Father deepened his voice.

"Is this how you should be speaking to your parents?"

I even surprised myself. Though I am already extremely furious at this point, some part of my brain still maintains its cool. The me at the that time not only started growing stronger, but my voice also changed. Except I still had a long way to go until I would be equal to my father. My arms weren't even half as thick as father's, so if I really were to fight with him, I'd definitely get beaten up badly.

I can only assault him!

A part of my brain thinks thus. Dad stuck both his hands into his pant pockets. I have got to try, now's the time!

Just when dad was about to bring his hands out from his pockets, I jumped down from the veranda.

"Ahhh~!"

A flying kick.

I'm quite astounded myself, for the assault to be so successful. My leg kicked out directly, and my body stretched out perfectly. Just like an arrow, I hit dad's stomach straight on. It was completely unexpected. Dad's stomach sank deeply, and a sound of cracking came from his mouth.

Of course I couldn't land beautifully, and I fell hard onto the ground. Rubble scrapped my elbow, but because I was full of adrenaline, I didn't feel pain at all. I immediately scramble up. Dad is an very tough opponent, so if I didn't get up right away, he'd definitely kick me at least twice and send me flying.

\\Energy picking up. Well, bad at grammar, I am no native. Will polish it later. Just put down some readable thing first.

However, he did not kick me.

So be the fist.

My father was pressing against his stomach while crouching on the ground.

I can never forget his mumble at that time.

"Ouch?"

"That voice was like from an idiot."

Out of surprise, I was standing still. I had never attack my father as successful, that memorial day was my first time fighting him effectively, and won that fight. Out of expectation, I have never expected this, surprised!

But that was my greatest fault.

I was standing still while my father slowly stand up.

My father was raising, staring at me with anger. In his eyes was burning blaze, just like the eye of a bull. When his eyes sweep to here, my legs became numb and cannot be moved. While I sweat like river, I cannot run, as my feet are numb. Run! Hey, run! My father was closing in step by step. I should have chosen to run or fight immediately, but I cannot move, standing still. Not only my feet, my heart was still.

"Boom(?)" My father's attack landed.

A punch on the face but I did not feel painful, only feeling dizzy. And then another punch landed. This time, I felt burning painful. Another punch landed on my stomach. I was fought to breathless -- I can only hear the "fuu...fuu" sound from my mouth. I was looking at my father with a begging look, nevertheless, there is only madness filled in my father's eyes. I wanted to run only to discover that my collar was picked up firmly. He was really doing it seriously. He hit my face and stomach endlessly. I was fought to fell on the ground and cannot even stand. That then he kicked me. He kicked, I cried. I don't know whether it is pain or shame, I kept crying.

How many times did my father kicked me? I feel that it was one or two hours, but it actually only a few minutes. After that, my father mumbled something, then walk away in a shaky way.

He was singing the theme song of the anime which I watch every week when I was small.

When I heard the off-pitched voice faded, I was relaxed. I feel that he will not hit me anymore, that then, I suddenly feel more painful. the smell of blood filled my mouth. It seems that I have a bite of sand and dirt, as it smells like so. I stood up, washed my bloody and dirty face and hands. It was painful when my wounds were washed. I took off my clothes, then tears was rushing out again.

I am like a helpless kid.

At this point of time, I am neither thinking of my tragic face, nor do I think of my shrinking mother at the corner. Instead, I am thinking about the look of my father, who was crouching because of my kick. 

When I notice, the room has already gone dark. It is dinner time. I feel very hungry. The food in the hospital is bad, but when one is starving, they will have the appetite to eat it. Man are like this. When thirsty, they can even drink lots of dirty water.

I hear footstep sounds.

They are nurses.

Two nurses came in shoulder on shoulder.

"Mr Shiga, have you took a temperature yet?"

"No. He will cheat it if you look at him doing it."

I can just hear these as their voices and footsteps fades.

After a while, footstep sounds are sounded again.

It should be Akiko.<ref> This time Yuichi is not using proper prefix, just calling Akiko by her names, leaving "Miss", it shows that Yuichi is kind of rude to Akiko.</ref> 

"Mr Uchida! That is not food!"

Akiko shouted loudly.

"God! You Bastar... Boss! That is not edible!"

Everything are like hallucination.

Without solid feeling.

The soft feeling in my tiptoe is waken, the feel when I kicked my father. There goes 3 years, but that feel for kicking my father as well as the pain for being beaten up, the bloody smell, the shame and the scene when my father was crouching on the ground, were all still so fresh in my mind.

I leave the bed, walked to the door, switched on the lamp.

The music disc in the rubbish bin was my father's favorite song. The label on the disc is shining.

Sometimes, I will think:

If I were living deep in a mountain village, what my life would be like? Living happily with bears, wild boars and monkeys? Impossible! It is not Disney movie. I am certain to be attacked by bears, chasing all over the mountain by the boars, played by the monkeys.

Recently, I watched a movie called The Mosquito Coast.

It was about a father who loves the nature and would like to assimilate into it. Thereafter, his family moved in a rain forest, hence, suffering a lot. Finally, the father gone mad and died, the whole family moved back to the civilized world again.

Principle?

Assertion?

That might be essential, but things might not always develop in a good way. It can go tragic.

The thing is to do it properly.

And then, in those proper acts, there are good thing and bad things. However, they will not be too good or too bad.

Yes, it is something like this.

I always have this thoughts, therefore, my life is just as expected. Although not a brilliant life, but not everything is bad. Simple and happy, a life which I laugh at but still keep living in.

Nevertheless, this is the worst.

Rika is still avoiding me. She would turn away if we met in the corridor. If I speak to her, she will ignore me. If I chase after her, she will hit me with her elbow. If I moan, she will not notice me, strict off leaving.

How rude!

So bad!

Today, I am still thinking of a way appease Rika. Everyday, 24 hours, this issue is all I can think of. But I cannot think of any.

I maybe really am a fool.

Rika also scold me like this:

"Yuichi, you fool!"

Speaking in a cute voice.

"You are a fool!"

Her angry face is also very cute.

I am sunbathing on the roof. The wind is chilling, seems like the cold current is coming. Life in the hospital is too boring. I can only watch the weather forecast to kill time lately. Weather forecast will be repeated, again and again, in NHK's morning news section. I want to take a look of other channels too, but well, the right to choose the channel for TVs in the hall, is holding by the elderly who stayed in the hospital for a longer time.

I feel soo tired.

"Ha..."

I am yawning while opening the textbook.

Well, at least take a look of the textbook, or I am going to repeat. The first step is essay. However, I cannot get the gist of the article.

I work as hard as I can. Then, there is a voice from above.

"Oh, that's nice, you are studying!"

I look up, that then, I see that Akiko is standing there.

With a cigarette in between her lips.

"Don't smoke, it is bad to your health."

"What did you say?"

"O,O,Ouch! Stop it!"

Akiko stomp on my back hard. My body is twisted together like rope. She is standing on her tip toe, bending her kneels, trying to exert all her weight on me.

"What the heck are you doing? Are you a nurse?"

I am running away while I scream.

Akiko is laughing when she breath some smoke out.

"Huh? What?"

"I said..."

"What were you trying to say?"

Akiko's eyes are shining with dangerous light. She seems very happy, energetic. She has already treating bullying me as one of her interests. Why is there such a nurse in this world!

I feel very regret, therefore, I laughed very loudly and say:

"Nothing."

"I am a very generous person, you can say anything you want, I don't mind."

"Well, really nothing. Hahaha, Hahaha."

"That's great, hahaha, hahaha." 

We laughed very loudly.

The glowing sunset emmerged in the sky when we are still laughing.

"Sigh, Yuichi."

"Huh?"

What is it this time?

I am frozen.

I think she will not kick me so suddenly, right?

"Are you still arguing with Rika?"

"..."

"It is, right?"

'...'

"Rika is really stubborn. A kid in your age normally have one or two porn book, isn't it simple to forgive you?"

Yeah!

It really is.

Though I am not only hiding one or two books.

"However, that kid is starting to get soft."

"Soft? Rika?"

Akiko nod.

"That kid...Never express her feelings, therefore, we don't know much about her. Even if the repeated medical checks were so tiring, she had never shown a face of tire. Even though she is happy, she had never shown a face of happiness. Therefore, when I heard that you are in quarrel with her, I was much relieved."

"Akiko..."

"What!"

"Rika never showed her feelings, right?"

"Yeah."

"She can go completely mad or happy."

Akiko blinks her eyes.

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

She can go so mad that she is even more horrible than Akiko. I am afraid that there is only one girl, Rika, who is more horrible than Akiko. Cried, Shout, Scolding endlessly: Rika is a person with explosive emotion.

Akiko murmured.

"She tortured you..."

"Huh?"

I can't hear what she said clearly.

To hide from me, Akiko speaks before me.

"It is about time."

She take a look of her watch.

"You have business?"

"Rika will finish her drip treatment in the afternoon and may come up here. I asked her to come. Listen, this time you really need to take the chance. She can't run fast, you can hide behind the fence or something like that. Then, block the entrance<ref>Should be exit, but the original text...</ref>. Then you won't be locked like last time."

"Akiko..."

"Kneel down, or whatever, whatever you do, just beg her pardon. Though this is my own thoughts, but I think Rika wants to get back to normal relationship too. Kneel, or even better, cry. Then tell her you can be her servant for 100 years or something like that, then she will definitely forgive you."

Akiko smile and then putting the cigarette bud which she has finished into a pocket ashtray. Then she is gone. I watched until her shadows fades. Thank you very much! Akiko. Akiko really is an angel! God who reborn! Buddha who reincarnated!

Still, I can hardly believe. I stand there like an idiot, day dreamed for half a day.

I should first hide up.

I peeked around anxiously. How about hiding beside the water tower? The sun was sat and is getting cold. But it is not the time to consider this.

After five minutes, the door was opened.沒回過神

Rika is here!

Failure is not an option. Anyway, kneel down, cry, stick my head to the concrete ground. Whatever it is, if she can forgive me, I can swear to be her servant for one hundred years.

I strain to hear and I found the sound of steps.

She is looking around. Maybe she is looking for Akiko. The foot steps are getting near and near. I took a deep breath and calculate the timing. Just a bit more, one step, two steps, three steps--

Now.

I rushed out and kneel on the concrete ground.

"Rika, sorry."

Look up.

It in fact is Natsume.

I don't know how long did the silent continued.

I stared at Natsume's face meaninglessly, Natsume also looked at my face mindlessly.

It is Natsume who reacted first.

"What are you doing here?" 

He asked in a surprise.

I immediately blushes and stand up.

"Nothing."

Darn it, I knelt before this guy. 

"Suddenly kneeling in front of me, I was nearly scared to death. By the way, Ezaki, let me show you something good."

"What!"

"Look!"

Natsume pull out an imported porn book. It has such a strong image and so sexy that anyone who see it will avoid it.

"There you are."

"Huh? I don't want this kind of stuff."

"Alright, alright. Take it. Gifts from the elder one has to be accepted."

Natsume speaks in a fast pace, then stuff the book into my hands and leave in a hurry. What is he doing. Anyway, my hands is now left with that super sexy book.

Well book is such thing that you want to flip over it when you hold one.

Isn't it?

When tidying up my room, sometimes I will find out some books which are not yet read. At that time, I will be compassionate about the book because it is bought but never touched. It is the most tragic thing to a book.

It is exactly the same case.

I am not very willing to read it.

I open the book.

At the same time.

There is a shadow hanging over me. A thin shadow. I did not think closely and looked up.

It's Rika.

Standing here.

I suddenly understand everything. Why Natsume is such anxious, why he carried this book, why he stuff it to me. That jerk, Natsume, must have known Akiko's plan.

But I know deeply that it is my foolishness.

I know by heart that Rika will come, why should I open that book?!

I am an idiot, right?

"Ri,Rika!"

I throw that book away and cried.

"No, it is not like that."

However, Rika turn and leave in a poker face. I chase her, but then I am hit violently by her elbow on the stomach and I lost my balance. Taking the chance, Rika run out rapidly. I bear the pain and chase her desperately, but the door is shut hard in front of me.

(--lock)

Then there is a foreboding sound. I put my hand on the handle in a panic. Seems like it can be turned, but actually not. Not again, I am locked. I pulled hard to find the door cannot be moved. Kicked which hurts my feet. Knock which hurts my hands.

I stand there.

Only to know that the sun has sat and the wind starts to turn cold.

"I can't believe it..."

Oh, right, the weather forecast this morning said that today is the coldest day this year.