Editing Kämpfer:Volume 1 Chapter 3 (section)

===Natsuru and Natsuru===
"A-ha ha ha," Harakiri-tora laughed like an old woman.

"Another of your misfortunes!" 

The stuffed toy was thrown into the trash bin as a substitute to an answer.

"Please stop the garbage treatment, it's so childish."

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"Quiet!" I yelled toward the trash can.

"Sakura-san, she frustrates me, but I just can't get angry at her!  Beautiful Sakura-san open your eyes!"

"But she likes Natsuru-san, right?"

"...as a woman!"

I picked up the trash can and turned it over.  Harakiri-tora fell out along with the waste paper.  I picked up the stuffed toy and violently brought our faces together.

"There are two reasons why I'm shocked and angry!" I said imitating Akane's fierce-dog mode.

"One is that Sakura-san found the person she desires.  The second is that Sakura-san fell in love with a woman!"

In the past Higashida had said '' 'Sakura-san has refused all invitations by men.  The rumor is she must be a lesbian.' ''  Of course I took it as a joke, while both Higashida and I laughed.  I was completely shocked that the rumor turned out to be true.

"And it's all your fault!"

"How does that add up?"

"The whole situation wouldn't be so confusing if you didn't turn me into a woman!  It's no good even apart from her fondness for women."

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Harakiri-tora wriggled its way loose from my hand.

"Don't discriminate.  Be more liberal and accepting in your thinking."

"I want her to be charmed with me as a man!"

"But Natsuru-san the man has no charm."

I tried to kick the stuffed toy in the style of a free-kick, but it was too quick, all my foot caught was air.

I remembered the blurry events after the recent confession(?) in the clubroom.  I fell off my chair half-conscious, being nursed by Sakura-san, saying '' 'the cool girl who helped me.' ''  She had continued, '' 'even though she wore our school's uniform, I've looked everywhere and can't find her.' ''  Even though the person she was looking for had just swooned before her eyes.

Thinking over the story leading up to then made me want to cry.  The conversation at the time was like skillful warriors battling.  It took all my talent not to expose the identity of her new favorite woman.

I could lie to myself, that I was important to Sakura-san and that she liked Natsuru-san.  But the Natsuru-san she liked wasn't me, and I'm not prone to imaginations of megalomania.  Even if it would be a white-lie to myself.

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Even though my emotions were at odds with themselves, Sakura-san asked me '' 'please keep this a secret.  Rumors of homosexuality spread very quickly.' ''

I agreed while not being totally conscious yet.  There could be no other answer than '' 'yes' '' when asked a question by such a beauty.  She also pulled out my consent to '' 'introduce me to that woman.' ''  It's a wretched story, but I had no ability to refuse.

How on earth could I manage an introduction?  She and I share one body.  Damn, I had to go to Harakiri-tora for advice; I didn't get '' 'how can I help?' '' No, from the start I got laughter.

Even with time Harakiri-tora didn't stop grinning or laughing.  Originally the stuffed toy had a sewn on faint smile, but her huge smile couldn't be hidden.

"How about meeting while you're a woman?"

"I could do that but my voice would still be a man's voice. I'd be exposed."

"...being exposed - that's inconvenient?"

"I would be despised... with my size how could I be seen other than a weirdo with a transvestite hobby?"

No, since Sakura-san is kind, she wouldn't despise me.  But certainly my rank would fall drastically from '' 'a junior high acquaintance.' ''  In a worst-case scenario, she would '' 'avoid him as much as possible.' '' 

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"To top it off, I'll hurt Sakura-san who has been yearning to meet her 'cool girl'.  Another reason for her to hate me."

I rolled around holding my head.  If someone saw me they wouldn't hesitate to call for an ambulance, most likely a yellow one.<ref>Yellow Ambulance - a typical Japanese belief is that yellow ambulances only carry patients with mental problems.</ref>

Harakiri-tora didn't call an ambulance.  Probably because her cat-like cloth hands couldn't dial a phone easily.

"I'll just give up and choose the road to being Kämpfer.  Having a woman with me isn't necessary to fight."

"But to start a fight you must first be a woman." 

I sat up, "can I transform myself into a woman intentionally?"

"If you increase your skill a bit, you could."

"Skill?"

"Oh - you've seen others do it Natsuru-san, do you still think it's difficult?"

That's true, Akane easily transforms intentionally.  I suddenly recalled I hadn't told Harakiri-tora about the attack in the library.  This time the plush toy was unusually silent.

"Ho, so you finally met an enemy Kämpfer?"

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"The attacker was powerful, and stayed hidden.  I never saw who it was."

"Sounds like an experienced fighter, this is serious."

"Fast and forceful.  Would the attacker have been a woman?"

"There's no doubt."

"She's also an Iron-Star student?"

"I'm certain of it.  Kämpfer tend to gather in certain locations."

"Say what?"

"Let me put it this way.  If one Kämpfer appears, another will appear to fight the first, then another to support the others and so on."

"How can you transform people so freely?"

"It's the moderator, don't you think?"

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I had to think hard.  This was a pain, every time I went to school I'd have to be cautious.  I was at a considerable disadvantage.

Consulting Akane wouldn't help much.  When she wasn't transformed she was too timid to be any help; after transformation '' 'kill anything that moves.' ''  Efficient plans would not be formed effectively with her.

"Excuse me," Harakiri-tora was saying.

"How can a stupid stuffed toy help?"

"Since you're worried how stupid am I if I have good advice?"

"Like what?"  

I watched Harakiri-tora with doubt.  There's no trusting her, no answers came easily, nothing but puzzles.  Thinking back, the description that came with the Entrails Series toy said '' 'Harakiri-tora - even it's stomach is black.' ''

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"To start, the enemy is likely just one person. If there were two or more you would have lost."

That made sense.  The only weapons we saw were two dirks<ref>Dirk - a long thrusting dagger historically used by Scottish Highlanders.  Typically a single edge, occasionally with gimping along the spine, making the dull(er) edge appear to have teeth like a saw.</ref> attached by a chain.  That weapon kept us both occupied, if there were any other enemies we would have been overwhelmed.

"Should I worry about another enemy showing up?"

"Probably."

"But what chance is there of that?"

"Like I said a while ago, Kämpfer tend to gather in one area."

"I heard you, I was there."

"Well..."

"You're useless," I said harshly before I could stop myself.  She made an essential point there.  How could I uncover others?

"With patience and good searching, you'll certainly find them."

"The only evidence is the bracelet.  Without seeing that there's no way to tell."  I hit my arm where mine was firmly attached.  Rolling up girls sleeves, what difference is there to flipping skirts?

Harakiri-tora thoughtfully pondered, "that reminds me."  Seeing a toy with intestines spilling out, looking intently thoughtful was beyond strange.

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"Look for someone like me!"

"Huh?"

"All messengers are like me..."  Harakiri-tora skillfully pointed her short forefoot at herself.

"No way."

"Search for people who have Entrails Animal series stuffed animals, right?  Akane-san has Seppuku Kuro Usagi. Not every Entrails Animal will be an adviser but each adviser assigned to a Kämpfer will be an Entrails Animal."

I think messenger is a better fitting word than adviser, but aside from that it wasn't a bad idea.  Not as direct as checking bracelets but easier to talk about.

"So why only look for Entrails Animals?"

"The moderator chose to use us.  For gathering Kämpfer it's easier to use the same series of stuffed animals."

Harakiri-tora was proudly rubbing her exposed viscera.  Pride in a series of stuffed toys.

"There are many series, why them?" 

"Maybe because they're no longer being sold.  Anyway, it's better than rolling up sleeves."

"How do you know they stopped selling them?"

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"I've checked into it,"  I noticed my computer was turned on and a browser window was opened up on it.  The window was dense with information, apparently someone had been net surfing.

"It gets boring being in this room all day.  Clicking is hard, but I manage."

With those paws I bet it would be difficult.

Anyway, I was relieved.  Searching for stuffed toys was a lot easier than searching for enemies through groping.

I decided to go down to the first floor and get some juice so I got up to leave.

"Oh, Natsuru-san..."

"I don't think a stuffed animal would want to join me for a drink."

"Not me, but Kaede-san would."

"Huh?"

"You're supposed to introduce the girl Natsuru-san to her."

"Ah..." I fell back. Seems I had forgotten my current troubles since the topic had changed.

Frankly speaking, solving the problem of searching for enemy Kämpfer was easier than coming up with a plan for that problem of mine.

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"Ah - how am I going to make introductions?"

"Still haven't figured it out?"

"It's like I'm betraying Sakura-san, how can I do that?"

"All you have to do is present yourself to her."

"I don't want to."

"You have a better solution?" 

Harakiri-tora made a faint smile. "Just try not to talk if possible.  It's your only choice."

It's the only way.  Sakura-san wants to meet the girl Natsuru, and I've already agreed.  I'll just do it.

"Are you going to have a silent conversation..."

You're contradicting yourself dude.  I have to do it even if I need telepathy.

"Now to change you to a girl's figure."

"Ugh, yeah."

"Either you ask Akane, you figure out how to transform, or you find some other Kämpfer that is willing to fight."

"I can't transform myself yet."

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"That's why you'll need Akane-san to help you transform, then stay nearby."

"No..."

The stuffed toy was persuading me though.  Unless I learned to do it myself, but that was... unlikely.  Plus I had to become used to the figure of a woman.  But to get there Akane would have to change to fierce-dog mode.  When that happened I'd most likely get shot in the head.  Too dangerous.

Harakiri-tora looked completely still, and said "I've said what I have to say" and fell asleep.

My brain was fried from thinking too much.  Don't think about the mysterious enemy, find another ally if possible.  Must introduce the girl-me to Sakura-san, but need the help of Akane to do it.  I didn't have one issue that could be solved in one fell swoop.

The only good idea I had was to sleep on it... maybe tomorrow I'd have solutions.

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