Editing Kamisu Reina:Volume 2 Reina Kamisu (section)

===4===


<i>Reina Kamisu</i> is a concept that belongs only to me. Even if the phenomenon can exist by itself now that it has received the name of <i>Reina Kamisu</i>, it is safe to assume that its scope is still limited to myself at this point.

However, the people around me can clearly see <i>Reina Kamisu.</i>

For example, if your view is obstructed by some kind of white haze, you may interpret it as a ghost or as a white cloth, or you do not even bother yourself with the question of what it is at all, but you can see it in any case.

Likewise, other people can clearly see her. The perfect mask I have obtained by losing my soul certainly exists. I may be the only one who interprets her as the phenomenon <i>Reina Kamisu,</i> but they can see something that is different from what I see but that is essentially the same.<!-- 　それと同じく、彼女は確かに他(ほか)のみんなに見えている。私が魂を失うことで得た、完璧(かんぺき)な仮面は確かにそこにある。現象〝神栖麗奈〟として見ているのは私だけかもしれないが、そこには私がそれとして見ている〝それ以外のほぼ同一のもの〟は確かにあるのだ。-->

For example, it might be yourselves reflected by the one-way mirror.<!-- 例えばそれは、マジックミラーに映る、あなたたち自身のように。-->



"I will die in a few days from now."

I say something that can be interpreted in many ways.

"Die?"

"Yes."

"You?"

Which leads Ryoji-san to start puzzling over the deepest meanings of my words. All that is left for me to do is to say the things he wants me to say. I do not get an answer from him. All he can do is present his answers to <i>Reina Kamisu.</i>

Alas, dear brother, with so few hints you cannot get it right!<!-- 　残念だけどこんなにヒントの少ない状況じゃ、いつも通り正解もないよ。 -->

As always, Ryoji-san engages in fairly solid reasoning and drifts off from the answer more and more.

I say the phrase I prepared for him:

"Go to my room when the time comes."

The mirror is there. <i>Reina Kamisu</i> is there. Of course, she is only visible to me, though.

This is my way of putting a curse on him. A curse that I am afraid he is unable to lift for the time being, for—

"I will die."

—Right. Because I will die.  

This will cause him to use <i>Reina Kamisu</i> and aggravate the curse I put on him. There is a low probability that he might notice that it was not really me who he has seen, but if that happens then so be it. It would that he earned himself the right to be released.

"—but only metaphorically."

Right, I may die but <i>Reina Kamisu</i> will not.

And as long as Ryoji-san's own <i>Reina Kamisu</i> does not die, the curse will persist.




Death.

It is a tool that is most useful in the event of controlling someone's heart.

It has a tremendous emotional impact and can even be destructive depending on how you use it.

Death is unavoidable and of equal significance to everyone.

Therefore I decided to take advantage of it.

I start to make preparations.

I start to make preparations, using my <i>Reina Kamisu.</i>

Step by step, my vengeance gets executed.



After school, Mitsui-san called me out. While I do not know what she needs from me, I cannot turn her request down in front of everyone, since I am using <i>Reina Kamisu.</i>

My assumption is that she is seeking for help after being hurt by Kawai-san.

"Is it that you want to come back to our conversation the day before yesterday?"

"...No, that's not it," she says with eyes that do not see <i>Reina Kamisu.</i> They see <i>me</i>, not <i>Reina Kamisu.</i>

I suddenly feel a little unsettled.

Might her missing ability to see <i>Reina Kamisu</i> get in the way of my plan of  vengeance? Her words bear far less weight than <i>Reina Kamisu's,</i> so I doubt that anyone would listen to her even if she tried to stop me. If, however, there are more people like Mitsui-san who can see "me" to some degree, they might give an ear to her.

What should I do? What if Mitsui walked around spreading her suspicions?



"After all, there's no bullying or violence. I'm just being hated by everyone. Even if the situation improved superficially, the actual hostility wouldn't disappear."

"Do you think so? I am convinced that this artificial hate would disappear with time once we took care of the problem on a superficial level. After all, it is just the peer pressure that is influencing them."



I fail to come to a conclusion.

For the time being, it might be a good idea to display my influence.



"Besides—I can take care of their hostility deep down, too."



It is but the truth, and Mitsui-san is aware of that.

She is left speechless.



We arrive at the back of the gym where she wanted to take me. The secretary of the student council, Anna Fuyuki, has already been waiting here and seems to be in a state of horrible agitation. It is quite obvious what is going to happen now.

I glance over to Mitsui-san.

Fuyuki-san is not someone who would willingly confess her love, let alone have Mitsui-san, an enemy of Kawai-san's, help her arrange it. That means that Mitsui-san has coerced her into this situation.

Why?

Before I arrive at an answer, however, Fuyuki-san opens her mouth:

"Sorry for ... calling you out to such a place."

"No, I do not mind at all."

I would like to catch a glimpse of Mitsui-san's facial expression, but <i>Reina Kamisu</i> is not allowed to avert her eyes from the earnest girl in front of my eyes.

Is that also part of her plan? No, I doubt she is <i>that</i> scheming.

Fuyuki-san struggles for a long time to let out a single word, but eventually succeeds:



".........I love you."



Her words are extremely powerful. There might be no ill will in them, but they are essentially a threat. If I am basing my threat on my death, she is basing hers on her fragile and honest feelings.

They are so pure that they cannot be easily crushed.

<i>Reina Kamisu</i> fails to reply offhand.

"...I love you," she repeats.

<i>Reina Kamisu</i> manages to respond her pure feelings with a smile.

"Thank you, but I am sorry..."

And crushed them.

She crushed her pure feelings.

"...Thank you...for your time..."

With these words, Fuyuki-san disappears. The <i>Reina Kamisu</i> inside her should be fine, but ... it was a close call.

The total energy of emotions does not change so easily, but their direction does. Especially in cases like this.

Well then—

—Yukimi Mitsui is the greater problem right now.

I look at her. <i>Ah, as I thought.</i>



Her gaze is piercing through <i>Reina Kamisu</i> and reaches me.



"—Why are you looking at me like this?"

"Well, you said that you stayed on my side, didn't you?"

"I did, yes."

"Even if I look at you in this manner?"

"...Yes."

"You know, I noticed something when you promised to stay on my side. And just now I confirmed my assumption through a little experiment.

"Reina Kamisu, <u>you do not have a soul</u>."



No soul.

I did not expect her to figure out that much. Most impressive.

"...No soul? What do you mean?"

I feign ignorance, however, because it might be a wild guess on her part.

I must not readily admit to it. If she has really seen through me, my fears that she might stand in the way of my plan of vengeance could turn out true.

"Oh come on ... Kamisu-san, you're just a pretty shell without any content inside. You can't react in a differentiated manner to our behavior."

Interesting. Referring to me a "shell" is quite an accurate simile. For someone who does not see my content, <i>Reina Kamisu,</i> I certainly must look like an empty shell.

"It's true that I forced Fuyuki-san to confess to you, but her feelings for you are without a doubt real."

"Yes, I know."

"But you shooed her away."

"Shooed her away? Indeed, I was sadly unable to give her my consent, but I think I have replied to her sincerely. Or do you think that I should have beaten around the bush and told her a sweet lie instead, Mitsui-san?"

"No, that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Looks like you really don't understand. Alright, listen, Fuyuki-san was serious. Do you have the slightest qualms for turning down her honest feelings for you?"

"I do."

I am perfectly aware that I crushed her pure feelings and even had difficulties doing so. However—

"On the surface, that is, right? After all, your sad expression vanished into thin air the moment she left."

—You cannot say that I have feelings of guilt?

"You only managed to bear feelings for a heartfelt confession at the moment when it occurred. The very instant you looked at me, your interest in Fuyuki-san died out!"

"You are over-interpreting things ... no?"

Wrong. It is just as she says. I can no longer explain my way out, but I must.

But I am not able to. Mitsui-san has understood me. By observing others, she has understood what <i>Reina Kamisu</i> is. She correctly assessed me and was convinced of her assessment when she saw my reaction to Fuyuki-san.

Driven into a corner, I make a slip of tongue.

"Or do you perhaps think that every single student at this school would obey if I told them to commit suicide?"

I accidentally tell her part of my plan.

I expected her to deny it. She could not possibly have such a fine understanding of me.

However—Mitsui-san replied without missing a beat:

"They would."

I am at a loss for words.

"I don't know what you plan to do at this school—maybe nothing at all—but I just want you to know that I realized that you're not normal. You're irregular. And you're aware of that more than anyone else. Yes—"



"—You can't be human."



How accurate.

<i>Reina Kamisu</i> is a phenomenon and I am her vessel.

Neither of us is human.





The following day I learned that Fuyuki-san had cut her wrist.

Beyond doubt, that confession was the cause. Fuyuki-san is a precious sacrificial lamb of mine; if I do not take measures, she might turn unusable because she is most likely planning to dissociate herself from me as it is. Do I look for a substitute, do I give up on one sacrifice, or do I get in touch with her and bring her back in order? After some wavering, I decide for the latter.

I walked to her classroom before school started, sneaked a peek inside, and found her sitting at her desk, hanging her head. She was easy to recognize thanks to her friends surrounding her. To my relief, Kawai-san was not among them.

As I enter the room I create a stir. With widened eyes Fuyuki-san notices me and immediately looks away. I suppose this is the natural reaction in this case.

Nonetheless, I walk up to her without hesitation.

"Fuyuki-san."

Surprised that I called her name, her eyes widen once more.

"H-How can I help you?"

"I would like to talk. Can you spare me a moment?"

Fuyuki-san nods a few times with her eyes still rounded.

"Thank you. Then ... yes, would you be so kind as to follow me to the second music room?"

She nods a few times again and follows me.




"Um ... what would you like to talk about?"

While she is waiting for me anxiously, I approach to the piano and sit down on the stool. To my chagrin, I have to admit that I have grown accustomed to this stool.

"How is your wound?" I ask with my gaze turned at her bandage, ignoring her question. I am expected to first worry about her wound.

"Ah ... I was just being stupid ... you don't need to worry about it, Reina-san."

"Please do not say that."

"No, but ... um ... it's not your fault, Reina-san..."

Oh, that is what she worried about? That suits her personality.

"Do not cut yourself anymore, all right?"

"......Yes," she nods hesitantly, which is fully understandable. Every child knows that one should not hurt oneself, and yet Fuyuki-san cut her wrist. <u>She had to.</u>

Fuyuki-san has been suffering enough to find herself in this situation—

—and thus longs for <i>Reina Kamisu.</i>

"...I have come here today, Fuyuki-san, to talk to you about yesterday."

Her face darkens as she hears me say so.

"Allow me to be direct ... Mitsui-san forced you to say it, right?"

After a few moments of hesitation, she replies, "Yes..." and adds, "but—"

"I thought so," I interrupt. I will not let her finish that sentence. "I was unable to properly handle your confession yesterday."

"Huh—?" she gasps and raises her face in surprise.

"I was unable to answer you honestly in the presence of a bystander, let alone the culprit who schemed it."

"W-What do you mean by this?"

I smile and say, "Now, please listen to my real reply: We are both girls, so I am afraid that we cannot become a couple."

"Yes ... I understand."

"However, I can accept your feelings nevertheless."

"W-What...?"

"This is quite difficult to express ... it might be more appropriate to say that I can be by your side while acknowledging your feelings for me. Going out with each other does not quite catch the nuance ... I really cannot think of an accurate term."<!-- 「なかなか表現が難しいですね。私は冬木さんの気持ちを知った上で、一緒(いつしよ)にいることができる、って言うべきでしょうか？　お付き合い、それとはまたニュアンスが違うとは思うのですが……的確な言葉が思い付きません」-->

Fuyuki-san is left flabbergasted, but as the meaning of my words slowly gets  through to her, she starts to blush.

"E-Err—"

"Are you unhappy with that?"

"N-No! By no means! I actually ... I wanted to become like this! Just ... feeling the same for each other ... is enough for me ... well, I guess ... I was dreaming of this kind of ... slightly special relationship."

"Is that so? Excellent," I comment with a smile. I can tell that she is charmed by me. "But have to warn you."

"Y-Yes ... what is it?"

"If possible, you should refrain from telling anyone about this. You understand why, right?"

"Y-Yes, of course."

"So why do we not make it our little secret?"

"—Our little secret..." she mutters with flushed cheeks and replies, "Yes!"

Our secret, yes?

Fufu, I am afraid that is not quite true.

It will be your very own secret, Fuyuki-san.



"<u>Please take good care of Reina Kamisu.</u>"



Because—

—I will no longer be around later today.



As I explained to Mitsui-san, it is in my current power to control others. It would be child's play to get rid of Mitsui-san by taking advantage of Kawai-san. 

But I did not do it.

Not because I thought it would be cruel. I do not possess human emotions anymore. As she correctly stated, I have lost interest in others.

And yet I did not do it. Even worse, I learned from Fuyuki-san that Mitsui-san was in danger and went there to intervene.

"Why ... why did you save me? I mean, I was so impudent as to say that you're 'not human' yesterday."

Why did I save her?

I wonder why?

I am not sure, but probably—I was happy.

I was happy that someone said I was "not human," that someone truly saw me.

"Did I not promise to be on your side? Besides, to be honest, I would like to avoid that cruel stuff even if I am not human," I explain my way out, because that is the answer she wanted to hear.

Aah, I am empty even in front of her. I am just a shell.

If ... If I met her a little earlier, perhaps I would have not turned into what I am now? No, I suppose there never was room for such an if scenario. I was born with this fate, floated all the way here—and will scatter.



"<u>I'm so jealous.</u>"



I was not a little surprised to hear that.

Jealous. It is a word that I hear on a regular basis. However—Mitsui-san said so while understanding me.

"Jealous?"

"Yeah, I'm jealous. I could—do without a soul."

I see...

I finally found out. Why has Mitsui-san been able to look properly at me?

It is because to Mitsui-san, <i>I</i> was her <i>Reina Kamisu.</i>

Everyone sees <i>Reina Kamisu</i> through me, the ideal in the view of the observer.

Mitsui-san said she was jealous of me because I have no soul.

Right. Mitsui-san, too, sees <i>Reina Kamisu</i> through me. She, too, sees her ideal in me. However, I happen to be her very ideal; her <i>Reina Kamisu</i> is practically identical with me. She has no need to see <i>Reina Kamisu</i> because I am close enough.

That is why she could directly observe me.




"I want... I want to become like you, Kamisu-san."

"Do you want me to give you a hand?"

"Huh...?"



I was happy.

I felt accepted for the first time in my life.

Because of that, my facial muscles moved on their own. I have no means of knowing what my face looked like because it was an uncontrolled expression.

I am so happy, therefore let me grant your wish.

<u>Luckily, it is in line with both my plan and the means I am going to employ.</u>



"Oh, <u>erasing your soul</u> is not all that hard, really!"


Right, if Mitsui-san views me as her ideal, then she should be able to interpret a special meaning into my words.

My deep words and my death will guide her to the place she wishes to be.



"I will help you get there!"



Just like the others.

Of course, I have not the slightest idea <b>where</b> that will be.




I stationed Mitsui-san at the second music room where my body will pass during the fall. The only task that remains is to add the girl who has the strongest tendency of seeing <i>Reina Kamisu</i> to my plan.

<i>Where might she be?</i>

Just as I thought so—

"Reina-san!"

She, Kawai-san, called my name.

Nobody is as obsessed with <i>Reina Kamisu</i> and cleanliness as Kawai-san. She was longing for an unstained, beautiful person, and found it in <i>Reina Kamisu.</i>

Ignoring the fact that a person fulfilling her requirements does not exist.

"You have come at the correct time. I was searching for you."

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

"There is something I wanted to tell you," I explain briefly. Not many words are needed anymore in her case.



"<u>Please take good care of Reina Kamisu.</u>"



This will make sure that she will pursue <i>Reina Kamisu</i> for the rest of her life. While I do not know where she will find her <i>Reina Kamisu</i>, I have a hunch that—

—it is where I am headed now.



I go to the rooftop.



＊＊＊


<i>Reina Kamisu</i> is already waiting for me when I arrive at the rooftop. She has broken free from the mirror. Well, she has always been right by my side since the moment I admitted her existence.

"Now you only need to fall down from here, is that right?"

"Yes, that will be the last step."

Fortunately, there is no one else here.

No, perhaps we are not alone. Perhaps I am subconsciously ignoring someone.

I do not mind either way as long as it does not impede my plan.

"I do not understand. How does this result in vengeance?" she asks.

"Well, I doubt that your role includes understanding my plan..."

"Would you mind disclosing some of it to me?"

"Sure."

"I am quite sure of this, but let me ask nonetheless. Having Kawai-san, Fuyuki-san and the others follow you into death is <i>not</i> what you consider your vengeance, right?"

"Exactly," I answer while searching for a place where I will fall past the window of the second music room.

"Should I think of your vengeance as something abstract?"

"Abstract...? No, I mean it quite literally. I suppose it can be considered abstract in the sense that it is hard to predict to what degree my plan will prove to be successful."

"...What is your plan, then?"

I shall answer her.

Ah, this tension in my facial muscles—I felt the same tension when talking with Mitsui-san earlier.

Oh, I remember this feeling now.

I am—



"<u>To kill people!</u>"



—laughing.



"Of course, I have no idea how successful my plan will be, but I want to kill people. I want to kill as many of them as possible. But not with ordinary means. I could only kill so many if I built a nuclear bomb. Would it not be a shame if there was no hope to kill more? If possible, I would like to wipe the entire human race from the face of the earth."

"How frightening. But how does falling down from here result in killing people?"

I finally find a good place that can be observed from the second music room. This will make sure that Mitsui-san will also have her soul erased.

"How I am going to kill? It is truly simple," I smile at <i>Reina Kamisu.</i> "I will use you!"

"Use me...?"

"Yes. Mind you, I am not talking about my interpretation of <i>Reina Kamisu,</i> but about your essence, about 'the phenomenon that can become visible.'"

"You want to use me as a weapon? Don't be silly. I have no power by myself. As you said, I am just a phenomenon that can become visible," she argues.

"That is more than enough."

"Poor thing. It seems like you have gone insane for good."

"I will not deny it. But although I may be insane, I can still think logically."

"Lunatics all say that."

I grab the fence. It seems to be stable enough to support my weight.

"What do you think will my fall from here cause?"

"...Let me think. First and foremost, you will die. After that, the people you <i>prepared</i> might end up committing suicide. Some kind of vicious cycle might even ensue ... but eradicating the human race is definitely impossible."

"You are right. I will die, Kawai-san and a few other people will die, and this marks the end of my <i>preparations</i>."

I lean against the fence and look <i>Reina Kamisu</i> straight in the eyes.



"<u>This will allow me to overwrite your information.</u>"



<i>Reina Kamisu</i> gazes at me with utter surprise.

"Overwrite my information, you say?"

"Yes."

"Do you mean that you are going to redefine me as a phenomenon that kills people?"

"Exactly!"

"Even in the unlikely event that you succeeded in overwriting my information, what you plan to do would be impossible. Again, my sole power lies in 'becoming visible.' You could just as well tell a human to fly!"

"You do not need any new powers. You are fully capable of killing people as you are now."

"What was that...?"

"I just need to pin you!"

"'Pin me'?"

"At the moment, your shape is so vague that people refer to you by various names like god, angel, or whatnot. I will thus pin you to a single shape, <u>by adding a new condition required to see you.</u>"

"Meaning...?"

"<u>I will give you the fixed name <i>Reina Kamisu.</i></u>"

"I do not understand. How does that give me the power to kill?"

"Do you not get my point? If you receive the name <i>Reina Kamisu,</i> you will no longer be just a vague concept but a 'person.'"

"That might be true, but what of it?"

"Your nature entails taking on the role your observer needs the most, right? What if you take on that role as a 'person'? Well, you will become the most important person to that observer. However, ultimately you are nothing more than a phenomenon, and once your observer realizes that, he will despair."

"And that is enough to kill people?"

"At least in the case of those who are desperate enough to seek you. Besides, do not forget that you will become <i>Reina Kamisu.</i> Do you know what this implicates?"

"...No, I don't."

"<i>Nomen est omen</i>. The name is a sign. For example, it is not possible to give you a boy's name because you are the Idea of Female Beauty. Likewise, it is not possible to give you the name of an object like an air conditioner, goggles or a toilet seat.

"However, it is possible to give you the name <i>Reina Kamisu,</i> and the name will bind you to a human appearance.

"And that is not all; there is more to this name. Originally, you are a phenomenon that only has a vague appearance, but you lose this vagueness by receiving the name <i>Reina Kamisu.</i> Your appearance will be reminiscent of me, and so will your nature. Right—"

While <u>laughing</u> I say:



"—the very name of <i>Reina Kamisu</i> will kill people."



"Fairy tales. As a matter of fact, you have not killed a single—" she pauses. "Wait—<u>is that why you made those 'preparations'?</u>"

"Exactly. I will now lead Kawai-san and the others to death. While I cannot predict how many of them will die, my plan is to make them die. To murder them. <u>To attach an image to the name <i>Reina Kamisu.</i></u>"

<i>Reina Kamisu</i> is at a loss for words. However, she quickly recovers and points out, "This is a well-thought-out delusion, but I am afraid that the premise is not established. How do you prove that it is even possible to overwrite my information?"

"Sadly, I have no proof."

"As I thought."

"But it makes sense, no? At the very least, the people I 'prepared' will see you. As <i>Reina Kamisu,</i> of course. Other students of this school or acquaintances of mine might also become able to see you and call you by my name. If so many people start to refer to you as <i>Reina Kamisu,</i> the odds are not too bad for your information to be changed the way I aspire to, right?"

"...I suppose the chances are not zero."

"That is enough for me to take the risk. I will sacrifice my own blood and that of several young girls and pray to create this curse. If that fails, then so be it."

With these words, I climb on the fence and stand on top of it.

I look down.

All I can see is the vicinity of the Junseiwa School, but that is just fine.   Ultimately, my own world was no bigger than this, and yet I loathe the entire world. Unreasonable? Why? Isn't that human nature? Isn't it human nature to judge the whole by a part? The world is not kind to me. It is trying to dispose of me. It is ignoring me. That is why I will scatter, cursing anything and everything that belongs to this scenery.

"...You are a horrible person for dragging me into this."

I hear <i>Reina Kamisu's</i> voice behind me.

"Of course. You also belong to the things that I loathe."

"...What?"

"You are also a target of my vengeance, dear <i>Reina Kamisu.</i>"

"This makes no sense. You said yourself that I am you and you are me."

"<u>And that is exactly why—</u>"

I bite my lips.



"—I hate you."



"I wanted to see myself in the mirror. You were uncalled-for. I wanted to be normal like everyone else. But—I could not! Because of you! Because of me!"<!-- 「私は鏡に私を映したかった。あなたの存在なんて邪魔(じやま)だった。私は普通に、他(ほか)の人と同じように過ごしたかった。でも──できなかった！　あなたのせいで！　あなたが見えてしまうような私のせいで！」 -->

I am surprised by myself.

My voice is rough with anger? I am irritated? At whom? At <i>Reina Kamisu</i>?

...No. At myself.

I have not lost my feelings and I am actually turning them against myself.



But—

—I decide not to think about the meaning of this.



"I am going to take revenge on you. You will continue to exist for all time as a curse named <i>Reina Kamisu,</i> as a being that torments people."

"...Is that really what you wanted to accomplish?"

I unwittingly turn around to her.

"What do you mean...?"

"You could not see yourself in the mirror, right? You were just as blind to yourself as everyone else, right? Then how on earth would you be able to know what you want?"

"I don't know," I say bluntly and look ahead again, at the world I despise. "All I can do is—loathe this world that shows no understanding for me."

In response, <i>Reina Kamisu</i> whispers:

"If only you realized that everyone has to cope with the mundane feeling of not being understood in some way..."

<i>Shut up.</i>

<i>I do not want to hear that nonsense.</i>

I covered my ears.



And jumped.



＊＊＊


Everything tilts and tilts and tilts—

The despicable sky is colored dark red.

You do not change a bit even now.

I may be able to soar up to you.

But I am damned to fall.

I cannot reach so far.

I can only reach the bottom.

Oh sky!

Oh twilit sky!

Just like the sun that dyes you red every passing day,

I shall continue to dye you red with the blood I spill—



So at least—

—Do not forget me.



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