Editing CubexCursedxCurious:Volume13 Chapter2 (section)

===Part 5===

It was very much in Konoha's style.

But why? &mdash;Haruaki could not help but feel baffled.

Why? For what reason?

In the Yachi home's garden, which had been peaceful and quiet until today&mdash;


''Why was a whole pig roast currently set up?''


While the sun was about to set, the dusk air in the garden was filled with an appetizing aroma.

Dry twigs were cracking intensely. The red flames seemed especially bright against the sunset. Dressed in a red kimono, the girl was standing on the rotisserie platform, rotating the massive spit skewering the pig, giggling to herself.

"Fufufu... What an excellent aroma... It shall be done anon..."

Honestly speaking, this scene very much resembled the venue of a Witches' Sabbath. The witch was taking sips of plum brandy occasionally on whim. As a side note, a young girl who looked almost like a witch's servant was nimbly and industriously helping by collecting firewood from the forest in the back one moment, preparing a bucket of water for extinguishing the fire in the next. Perhaps Kuroe was still looking for a chance to swap bottles, but it was also possible that she was only doing her best to survive.

"Hmm... Looks she must have ordered it before we returned home."

Fear commented while watching the Witches' Sabbath in front of her. Next to her, Haruaki spoke in dejection:

"Looks like it. I'm guessing she must have made unreasonable demands to the butcher..."

"Yeah, the man who delivered the pig looked like he was about to cry."

"The same goes for the rotisserie equipment. Also, the pig was already almost done roasting to begin with. She probably decided that roasting the raw pig would take too much time... which is why Konoha asked the butcher to prepare a pig roast that only needed slight reheating, what outrageous demands. The butcher also said that he'll bring us the bill tomorrow after calculating costs... Woah, I'm really getting scared now...!"

"Hey Haruaki, I'm equally said too but I need to point out something that's gonna make you shiver in greater terror. That Cow Tits is making another call right now. No idea who, though."

"What&mdash;!?"

Konoha was indeed holding a cellphone against her ear, probably borrowed from Kuroe, talking to someone while rotating the whole pig roast. Just as Haruaki decided he must stop her, it was already too late. Hanging up with a contented look, Konoha tossed the cellphone back to Kuroe.

"Th-This could very well be a crisis for the home budget..."

"I just hope she didn't tack on an order for a whole cow roast. We can only pray."

Fear crossed her arms, wholly displeased, then continued:

"That girl is showing no signs of sobering up at all. In the end, only phase one of Operation Substitution Beauties was completed, right? Even if a fake bottle was prepared, it's useless unless we can make the swap."

"I know that but I get the feeling that phase two, making her let go of the bottle, and phase three, actually swapping bottles, seem to be getting harder and harder... Maybe we should come up with a new plan from the ground up?"

"Jeez, things have become such a pain all because you're spoiling her too much. Whatever letting her relieve stress, you're indulging Cow Tits too much! You should scold her more strictly! Or resort to force decisively!"

"Am I spoiling her too much...? Hmm, but it's really my true feelings that I'd like her to have fun without holding back or relieve her stress on occasion. But it's also because Konoha's current state is bringing back past memories a bit... That's why I slightly missed the chance to stop her."

"...Bringing back memories huh?"

"Yeah~ When she first arrived at this home, the Konoha back then was completely different from the current Konoha you know. The way she is right now, it makes me feel like I'm looking through an old photo album."

"You've been together for so long... since a time old enough to reminisce over. Hmph..."

Haruaki did not quite catch Fear's quiet murmuring. Turning to look at her, Haruaki found Fear pouting and looking off somewhere else.

"Hmm? Don't tell me you're angry?"

"I-I'm not angry! I'm neither feeling pissed off nor comparing myself with Cow Tits, and definitely not feeling jealous of her!"

"No, you definitely seem angry right now."

"You're being noisy so shut up. I'll curse you!"

While Fear and Haruaki was having their conversation, the grating sounds of the rotating spit suddenly stopped. Konoha could be seen lifting the whole pig roast up high, inspecting how done it was roasted. Perhaps because the grade was a pass, Konoha smiled in satisfaction while holding the whole pig roast's skewer in one hand (probably a weight beyond an ordinary human's ability to lift) stabbing its front end into the ground next to the fire.

"Very well, very well, the roasting is done... Haryuaki-kun, come over here..."

Seeing her wave to him, Haruaki went up obediently. Appearances aside, the pig roast did look quite delicious with its drool-inducing aroma and the meat's dripping juices.

"Oh Kono-san, I haven't brought out the knife and plate. Please wait for me."

"Fufu, thou mayst prepare utensils but I can wait no longer. Allow me to test the taste~..."

Konoha knelt down. With a flash of her right hand's karate chop, a portion of meat was sliced almost like magic, falling on top of her fingertips. Tossing the meat into her mouth and chewing, Konoha went "Mmm!" and nodded with satisfaction.

"As expected of meat roasted by my hand, truly delectable! Good work, Kuroe-shan too... Before thou goest to bring plates, take this reward first~"

Konoha swiftly sliced another piece of meat using a barehanded chop, delivering it into Kuroe's mouth. "Muohoh, it's really too yummy~" Kuroe mumbled with her mouth full while entering the house to bring plates.

"Thou art next, Haryuaki-kun~ Ufufu, open thy mouth~"

"..."

"Thou refusest... Verily?"

"Th-Thanks for the food!"

Instantly feeling a breeze against his face that seemed to be coming from the frozen hell of Cocytus, Haruaki decided to open his mouth obediently. Konoha's fingertips touched his lips as they delivered piping-hot pork into his mouth. In fact, the meat really was very delicious.

"Huff huff... Too amazing, it's really very tasty."

"I know right~? Well then, what about the little lass...?"

Even at a time like this, Fear still bared her fangs and howled, very much in her usual style:

"I-I don't want it! At least, I definitely won't let you feed me!"

"Yes, then forget it. Even though 'tis so delectable~"

Completely unfazed, Konoha used her hand to cut and eat another slice of pork. Her laid back expression was probably angering Fear.

"Hmph! No matter how tasty, I don't wanna grow useless meat as a result! Look at those fat tits that are like mountains of illegally abandoned tires! Also that fat belly with nothing but ugly ripples on them, like polluted rivers! Also those flabby arms and legs that are like weird creatures growing from dumped chemicals!"

"Why are you talking like it's some kind of segment from the variety show 'Hunting Down Illegal Industries!'...?"

"Damn you, shameless brat, shut up! It's a very apt metaphor, these descriptions are as profound as those unforgivable crimes! Anyway, these crimes all come from her unsightly gluttony...! Hmph, that meat's aroma and juices are clearly traps akin to those of insect-eating plants!"

What are you talking about&mdash;!? The usual Konoha would have lost her temper and retorted harshly, but she was currently not her normal self. Still confident and composed, she sliced another piece of pork.

"Kuku. Better too big than too small...? Precisely because thou eatest meat not, little lass, thou art currently... in such misery."

"M&mdash;MI.SE.RY...!"

Fear's expression froze instantly. Casting a glance at her, Konoha said:

"Ufufu, Haryuaki-kun also prefers... bigger, yes...? Here, a large piece of meat, thou needst not hold back, together we shall... Do this~"

"D-Do it like this?"

"Mmph, allow me to feed you again... Two people eating together...? Say ah~~"

Konoha was biting on one end of the large piece of meat she had just sliced off, but she did not continue to chew. Instead, she approached Haruaki directly like this&mdash;

"H-Hey, Konoha, don't tell me you're asking me to...?"

"Mmm-hmm~♪"

She wanted him to bite the free end of the meat? Then eat it? That was the situation here!?

For some reason, Konoha had closed her eyes. No matter what Haruaki said or did, she probably could not be stopped. That was what Haruaki felt.

But someone, apart from Haruaki...

Still possessed the means to stop her.

In the next instant, Haruaki heard a splash of water.

Opening his eyes which he had involuntarily closed, Haruaki found Konoha completely drenched, still holding the piece of pork in her mouth.

The water had come from the bucket that Kuroe had prepared to extinguish the fire. Casually tossing away the now-empty bucket that only contained droplets of water, Fear said with an expression that could not be more serious:

"Oops, my hand slipped."

"F-Fear..."

"But I must say it was perfect timing. Cooling her head might make her sober. I might as well keep throwing water to replace that Operation Substitution Beauties. Just think of it as the second plan. No wait, it's probably faster if I just grab her by the neck directly and hold her head down in the bucket, right?"

"Fu... Fufufu... Little lass, how amusing thy behavior..."

Simply getting splashed by the bucket of water did not sober up Konoha, apparently. Sucking the piece of meat she was biting into her mouth like a beast, she then chewed. Her expression could not be read due to wet hair clinging to her face. Although her voice was laughing, the one thing Haruaki was absolutely sure was that she definitely did not find things funny.

"Uwah~ Oh no, I just went away for a moment only to find that things have gone totally awry...! It's hopeless now, Haru, hurry over here."

Bringing back plates, chopsticks and other utensils from the kitchen, Kuroe exclaimed in great alarm, standing frozen in one spot after witnessing the scene. Then she pulled Haruaki's arm to lead him away from the danger zone.

"What happened? Ficchi had been enduring all this time, right?"

"Yeah... Anyway, a lot happened."

Konoha lifted the bottle up high and poured brandy into her mouth again. Haruaki felt as though he could hear the gulp from her swallowing.

Then she slowly leaned forward&mdash;

"Truly what a shame that I am not wearing an ornamental hairpin! I shall have to punish thee appropriately!"

"Took the words right out of my mouth! Mechanism No.19 gouging type, spiral form: «Human-Perforator»!"

Readying her karate chop, Konoha sprinted towards Fear who was charging at the same time with the torture instrument transformed from the Rubik's cube, thus starting a violent clash. The sounds of impact between a drill and a Japanese sword could be heard. The two girls shifted positions rapidly, attacking from all sorts of angles, displacing air while dodging, throwing insults at each other, charging in for the attack once more&mdash;

This situation alone was enough to make one want to clutch their head and cry, but Konoha's current appearance was making things even worse. While dressed in just a kimono and dripping wet all over, she was like a beast, running, jumping, turning and performing flying kicks.

Holding one hand against his face, Haruaki sighed forcefully then shaking his head repeatedly, he looked back.

"Sorry Kuroe. Looks like even I can't stop them this time..."

"It goes without saying that I can't stop them either. Even if I extended my hair, I think it'll just get severed immediately."

The sounds of combat continued nonstop, clanging, crashing. There was no end to the shouting of insults. "Insolent lass, give thyself up obediently!" "You're the one who should be putting your boobs away, they've been falling out a while already!" "Excuse me, I am too big." "This is pissing me off&mdash;&mdash;"

Haruaki and Kuroe could only wait for the storm to pass. They had no other choice.

Later&mdash;



There was no such thing as endless rain or a violent storm that lasted forever.

After some time, Haruaki heard a different sound compared to before.

"...Atchoo!"

Turning his head slowly, Haruaki looked back at the battlefield that he had avoided for a while now. The two girls had stopped moving.

Frowning, Fear was glaring at Konoha nonstop. On the other hand, Konoha was tossing her hair lightly, looking up blankly into space&mdash;Then another "atchoo." Presumably due to the high speed combat, her originally drenched body was almost dried completely, but the evaporation of water had lowered her body temperature.

"Haru, look quick...!"

"Ohoh!"

Konoha tried to take a sip of brandy, probably to help warm herself. However, she immediately moved the bottle away and tilted her head in puzzlement. After shaking the bottle lightly to confirm the weight of its contents, she pouted in displeasure.

Haruaki watched the scene in disbelief.

"Th-The bottle's finished...!?"

"Thanks to Ficchi's water-splashing operation number two, Kono-san's mind and body should have cooled off a lot. In other words, using two methods at once, perhaps Operation Substitution Beauties can skip over the middle phases directly, instantly reaching phase four, sobering now that the supply is cut!"

Haruaki felt as though a great mist had suddenly lifted before his eyes, causing his tense cheeks to relax on their own and a warm feeling to spontaneously manifest in his heart. Hope, anticipation, joy, gratitude, happiness&mdash;If he had to label this warm feeling, surely it must be one of those words.

"No, to be honest, I don't really care about the process anymore. As long as the result is good!"

"Agreed. Our long battle has is finally reaching a conclusion. What an arduous path!"

While savoring the wonderful ending with his entire body, Haruaki looked into Kuroe's eyes. She was smiling radiantly with relief and liberation written all over her face. He would not be surprised if tears started streaming down from her eyes. Because most likely he was making the same expression.

However, just at this moment...

Haruaki stared wide-eyed, blinking many times repeatedly. This was because some distance behind the smiling Kuroe, he saw someone who was not supposed to be present. Why had she appeared at a time like this?

"C-Class Rep...?"

"Huff... Huff... Yachi, what happened?"

The class representative of Haruaki's homeroom&mdash;Ueno Kirika&mdash;was panting heavily, her shoulders heaving up and down, her long ponytail shaking up and down as well, looking like she had rushed all the way here nonstop.

"W-What happened...?"

A foreboding sense rose up in Haruaki's heart as he repeated the question. Kirika frowned while raising the plastic bag in her hand slightly and said:

"Konoha-kun called me just now, saying: 'Buy alcoholic beverages, any sort will do. As quickly as possible.' Because Konoha-kun's voice sounded different from usual, I was thinking that there was definitely some kind of trouble related to cursed tools, which was why I needed to buy alcohol to suppress a curse or something like that&mdash;"

Crack, it was as though Haruaki heard the world fracturing. Naturally, what seeped out from the cracks was the black liquid known as despair. Haruaki remembered that Konoha had been on the phone not too long ago while she was roasting the pig. So the Kirika was the person on the other end.

"Oh... Just when the brandy had run out. As expected of myself, such foresight... Well then, Kirika-shan, come join us in our merrymaking... Mufufu, let us continue drinking in the living room..."

"K-Konoha-kun...?"

Konoha walked up and took the plastic bag from Kirika's hand. Understanding what had happened, Kirika instantly showed alarm on her face but before she could escape, Konoha had already wrapped her arm around Kirika's shoulder. Giving her no chance to resists, Konoha forced her to walk into the living room together.

"Everything's over..."

Hands on the floor, Kuroe hung her head forcefully. Haruaki wanted to do the same as well but a certain scene flashed in the depths of his mind. Buy alcoholic beverages, any sort will do. Alcohol. Alcohol apart from plum brandy.

"Hey, ye should come over too. Do not forget to bring the meat!"

Konoha turned her head lightly and casually spoke to Fear whom she had been fighting until just now. A classic show of the drunken Konoha's talents in capricious moods.

"Hey shameless brat, what do we do now? The plum brandy finally ran out! But now there's more alcohol!"

"Hmm... No, anyway, just do as Konoha says first, Fear. I think... I think I'm remembering something... What is it?"

Haruaki first extinguished the fire in the garden then brought the whole pig roast back to the living room. Along the way, he entered the kitchen to prepare large plates and other utensils to put on the living room table for everyone to use.

With a happy face, Konoha took out the alcoholic beverages from the plastic bag Kirika had brought.

"Ohoh, pure rice wine, beer, distilled spirits, isn't this sweet potato spirit...? Lovely. Oh, this must be western liquor... I remember drinking them rarely. Well then, how doth it taste&mdash;?"

What Konoha plopped onto the table was a bottle of whiskey.

This prompted a shock through Haruaki's entire body as though an electric current was flowing while his brain circuits suddenly connected.

"A-Ahhhhhhh!"

He remembered. He remembered!

"K-Konoha... Drink it, drink that right now, anyway, drink that first! Whiskey must be super tasty, you know? As expected of Class Rep!"

"Muu? Haryuaki-kun, why art thou suddenly... But I would like to drink this sweet potato spirit first&mdash;"

"No, drink this first! A big gulp!"

In the corner of his eye, Haruaki could see Fear and Kuroe exchanging glances as though they suddenly understood something. Swiftly, they leaned in behind Haruaki and said:

"Shameless brat, what's going on here?"

"If she drinks whiskey... What happens?"

Haruaki whispered:

"I remember now. In her current state, Konoha has no tolerance for western liquor, to the point that she'll fall asleep after drinking a single glass...! That's also how we were saved last time, except last time, Pops was the one who was ordered to go buy alcohol."

"Ohoh~ I'd really like to say 'why didn't you say that earlier' but I'll save the complaining for later. Since it's confirmed what needs to be done, let's not wait any further... Hey Cow Tits! I too, suggest that you drink this bottle of whiskey now! I command you!"

"Uwah, Ficchi~ That's way too obvious&mdash;!"

Just as Kuroe feared, Konoha instantly frowned.

"How now? After hearing the little lass, incredibly, I feel a sense of opposition rising in my heart... Distilled spirits, I shall drink distilled spirits first~"

"Th-This bitch... Okay, I get it now. Since a single glass is all that's needed, using a bit of force should be fine! I'm going to force it down her throat! Haruaki, Kuroe, Kirika! Hurry and hold down Cow Tits!"

"L-Looks like it's boiled down to force... Here I go!"

"Don't worry, I think Haru is the only one that Kono-san will never harm! ...But I can't guarantee the same for me. Feeling worried and scared, I'm using this, Mode: «Chaotic Tadamori»!"

"I'm totally lost here, but it looks like I should be bearing part of the responsibility. I guess I must help!"

"What are ye trying to do~!? I only want... to drink to my heart's content. Those who dare obstruct me, prepare yeselves accordingly&mdash;!"

The living room was instantly plunged into chaos. Crash thud! Black, rope-like objects were flying back and forth. Restraining tools of torture were deflected by karate chops. A certain massive object wobbled softly as it pressed down on Haruaki's face, followed by a seductive moan of "mmm haa..." For some reason, someone punched Haruaki in the back of his head. Who the heck!?

The pig roast was flipped over. Liquor packaged in aluminum foil on the table went flying, spilling out, wetting Haruaki's head, instantly filling the air with the smell of alcohol. Probably due to the splashing liquor entering Fear's mouth, she went "What is... going on? My body feels so hot... Rice crackers... flying in the air...?" She began to sway unsteadily.

Haruaki felt dizzy, unsure if it was due to the alcoholic vapors or over exhaustion. The commotion still continued. Not ended yet? Haruaki had no idea what was happening. Neither did he know if they were gaining the upper hand or not. His mind began to feel dazed. Even keeping his eyes open was getting difficult.

While his consciousness was gradually growing hazy, Haruaki could only hear&mdash;

"Nuwahahaha~ Again again... Bring it on, everything you've got~..."

She really sounded very happy... Unbelievably, Haruaki concluded with a smile.

Hence, this became his final memory of the night.