Editing Kämpfer:Volume 2 Chapter 3 (section)

=== A Tense Lunch and Emotional Fallout ===

[[File:Kämpfer V2C3 Three Beauties lunch.jpg|thumb|Natsuru sits between Sakura Kaede and Shizuku during an intensely awkward lunch in the school cafeteria.]]

Lunch break.

After the photo session, fans gathered again, and I was already wobbling. The gifts and letters had more than doubled. The class monitor said, "There's also a tea party," but I refused out of fear of exhaustion, and they decided to let me go to eat.

It wasn't just me. It was lunchtime at school, a chance to relax and have a long break —what student wouldn't love? The girls' department at Iron Star Academy High School has a cafeteria, and quite a lot of girls eat there. The boys' department also has one, but the popular dishes are always hotly contested. I've even seen fights almost break out over the pork chop pot.

The girls' department isn't as aggressive, but the boys are still hot-blooded creatures after all.

I bought a meal ticket for the A set meal today. I hadn't wanted to eat here, but I couldn't buy bread anyway, and eating in the classroom felt like I was being used as a money-making tool.

I waited in line at the food counter, and the girl in front of me nodded. She was so polite.

The girl's cheeks flushed slightly as she asked,

"Excuse me...are you Senou Natsuru-san?"

"Um..."

"C-Can I have dinner with you?"

I was about to ask why when someone interrupted.

"Ah—Makie actually snuck out!"

"You actually wanted to eat with Senou-san!"

"So cunning!"

These people seemed to be her classmates, grumbling back and forth, about sneaking out and being so cunning. What are you talking about?

"Senou-san, can I have dinner with you too?"

"I want to!"

"The tea party was canceled, so you have to make it up to us here!"

I was already confused. Every girl was insisting, "I want to, I want to," and I felt like I was surrounded by a group of debt collectors. The crowd gradually gathered, squeezing me so hard that I couldn't move forward. What was going to happen to my A-grade set meal?

"Look, Senou-san! Who told you to leave us without permission?"

"I told you you were the center of attention."

"Are you going to buy a Buddha statue?"

Three people from Class 4 approached from a distance, laughing happily, seemingly with no intention of saving me.

I finally pushed through the swarm of women and handed over my meal ticket, but was immediately pulled back into the crowd of girls.

"Senou-sama! Look over here!"

"I want to see too!"

"Let me touch it!"

I thought someone just called me sama. What's going on?

"Excuse me, let me pass! Ouch!"

I felt a strange sensation on my chest, and I jumped. Who? Who touched my breasts?

"Great—I touched Senou-san's breasts!"

The girl named Makie cheered triumphantly. I wanted to say something, but whether out of shyness or fear, I couldn't say a word.

"Okay—I want to touch it, too!"

"I want it, I want it!"

Everyone gathered around me, converging on my breasts like pigeons at a feed. I admit I'm a little embarrassed, but my breasts are really big. Every time I become a girl, I feel a heavy burden, but I never expected they would attract so much attention.

"Yeah! I touched it!"

"Now it's my turn!"

I'm not a statue in a shrine, praying for healing. Even if I touch you, it won't heal you.

My breasts are literally being crushed, but I've given up resisting, hoping this will all be over soon.

"Please stop doing this,"

said Sakura Kaede, the person I like.

"Senou-san just returned to school after being sick. Please stop harassing her."

Sakura Kaede shooed the gathered girls away. As expected of one of the two beauties at Iron Star Academy High School, perhaps because of her inherent superstar qualities, the little sparrows all obeyed her.

"Senou-san, your meal is ready."

"Ah, thank you..."

I took my A-set meal from the scrawny old woman's hands.

"I'm having the school set meal today, too. Do you want to join us?"

Sakura Kaede said cheerfully. If I were a man, I'd have readily agreed, but this situation is a bit awkward.

"No, I... ah no, I..."

"Don't say that. Shizuku-chan also said she wants to eat with you."

I turned in surprise and found Shizuku sitting at a table in the corner of the school cafeteria.

"Please sit here,"

the student council president's words sounded fake.

Sakura Kaede, Shizuku, and I sat at the same table. The other girls didn't dare approach us, only observing us from afar. I even heard someone talking about the "Three Beauties of Seitetsu." Three?

"With Senou-san joining us, it's gone from two to three,"

Shizuku said.

"I think you're pretty, too."

"Yeah, just as pretty as Shizuku-chan. I'm so envious of you."

If I were to say, she'd be prettier than Sakura Kaede, but she doesn't seem to think so at all. Modesty is one of her strengths.

"Ah, Natsuru-san and Shizuku-chan are meeting for the first time, right? This is our school's student council president, Shizuku."

"Please advise me."

"...Hello."

This con-woman-like president is so infuriating. She knows me, yet she's playing dumb over there without a word.

"Senou-san took a leave of absence, right? I heard about it from the teacher."

"Did you know, Shizuku-chan?"

"But today is our first time meeting."

Liar. Swindler. Swindler.

"I've seen her before,"

Sakura Kaede said, gloating like a child.

"I see."

"Yeah, we went to a movie together."

Uh, I was about to pick up the salad from my set meal, but I kept biting my chopsticks.

"You two are so close."

"Yeah, we're really close."

Sakura Kaede seemed very happy, but Shizuku had kidnapped her during the movie. Luckily, she didn't seem to remember. Does the president, who's been playing dumb over there, have any conscience?

"I want to see a movie too."

"It's really good."

"But it has to be the Entrails Animals movie, right? Kaede, you have a weird interest."

"That's not the case. Natsuru-san said the movie was great too."

She asked for my agreement. I moved my neck and nodded like a robot. I couldn't really put the "weird interest" in my head, but Shizuku was very direct about that.

"Did you guys go out for dinner after the movie?"

"Shizuku, you know everything. We had pasta."

"That seemed like a lot of fun. I envy you guys."

The scary thing was, Shizuku kidnapped Sakura Kaede to that pasta shop.

"Are you having fun, Senou-san?"

Shizuku turned to me.

"..."

"Have you forgotten how to talk?"

What are you talking about?

My anger slowly rose. Perhaps sensing the strange atmosphere, Sakura Kaede said, "I'll get some tea..." and left her seat.

"You better cooperate with me," Shizuku whispered.

"You've lost your mind, you're always talking about dangerous topics. It's not good at all."

"Kaede's topics always revolve around you. You're really popular."

"I'm the girl who's popular."

"I'm so envious of you that I almost sighed."

Let alone sighing, I doubt you're even breathing.

Shizuku moved her chopsticks nonchalantly. "You're eating pork cutlet. It doesn't fit your image at all."

"What's your purpose?"

"Oh, what do you mean?"

"Why are you having dinner with me?"

"Because Kaede said she wanted to have dinner with you."

"Are you the kind of person who would do something like this just because they're friendly?"

"What does it matter?"

This guy was definitely just saying it casually. Because she had a poker face, you couldn't tell what she was thinking, but she was definitely plotting something. This woman was truly someone who could not be taken lightly.

"Calm down. I'm not going to do anything to you right now. I'm not going to attack you, you understand?"

That was true. Although they had met several times since the last battle, she had never shown any interest in fighting. Instead, it was always Akane who pointed the gun at her.

"So what's your motive?"

"Didn't I tell you I wouldn't tell you?"

"I don't like your attitude."

"Well, just think of it as me supporting Kaede's relationship."

"Stop kidding!"

"Kaede isn't just popular with boys, she's also very popular with girls. If you're too careless, you might end up being abandoned by her."

That's true. Even I'm so popular among girls, so with Sakura Kaede's level, she must be popular with both boys and girls.

Shizuku's lips twitched slightly, almost as if she were smiling.

"It's not just Sakura Kaede, the class stuff is giving me a headache too."

"Everyone in your class seems a little weird."

I admit that. If the boys' second-year class four is a group of lazy idiots, then the girls' second-year class four is a bunch of misers controlled by bad ideas. Either way, they're terrible.

"I heard from the class four monitor that they took a lot of photos, right?"

"..."

"That's for the money."

"I also heard they hope to give the photos to someone in the boys' class."

Did the monitor even tell her that?

"Why are you asking such a thing?"

"You'll know soon."

Sakura Kaede returned, a paper cup on a tray.

"How about Japanese tea?"

"Kaede, Senou-san seems to have a sore throat and can't speak very well."

"I see."

Sakura Kaede seemed relieved.

"Then please have some tea..."

"Thank you."

I reached for the paper cup.

The meaningless conversation continued for a while, and I could only listen obediently. Sakura Kaede was relieved to know that Shizuku and I were on good terms. In fact, our relationship was not good, but it was just not easy to show at this time.

"By the way, Senou-san, you're really popular."

"...?"

"I saw the newspaper's special edition, too."

"What..."

I was so careless. Shizuku, this girl, was bringing up such a topic that it was not relevant. She was even more evil-minded than the Seppuku Black Rabbit.

Before I could answer, Sakura Kaede said.

"That's not true, Shizuku-chan, that must be a lie."

"Really?"

"Yes, Natsuru-san is not... such a sentimental person. That report is completely fabricated."

Although she said it with certainty, her tone seemed a little hesitant when she mentioned "sentimental."

"Natsuru-san is very loyal."

This is true. I am only loyal to Sakura Kaede, but I am a boy.

Sakura Kaede looked at me as if asking for my consent. I had no choice but to nod slightly.

She smiled and said,

"Look, Shizuku-san."

"Oh my."

Shizuku's face was filled with surprise, but that expression was just acting.

"You're serious about love, aren't you?"

Of course I am. I'm not someone like you who would sleep with a machine.

The news about "sleeping with a machine" was published in the newsletter of the underground club "Shizuku-sama Scolded Club." It wasn't meant to be a bad word about her, but rather, it was something that made them tremble with excitement. Higashida showed me the newsletter, and it was filled with things only a masochist could imagine, things that would make you doubt your own eyes. It almost made my head spin. There really are all kinds of interests in this world.

"I've come to admire you, Senou-san."

So what do you think of me now?

"A beautiful person like you who's not at all casual is a good thing for morale."

"...Thank you."

"You have someone you like, right?"

"...Yes."

"That's great. I wonder what type of guy you like?"

It wasn't a man, but the person next to you. As I thought about it, I suddenly realized something.

Sakura Kaede was looking at me with surprise. "Oh, right, I'm a woman now, so logically, the person I like should be a man."

But Sakura Kaede fell in love with me, a woman. So, wasn't what I just said the same as dumping her?

Sakura Kaede's face darkened, turning into a look of despair. "Wait, wait, I don't like men, but how should I explain this?"

"It's from the boys' club, right?"

Shizuku added, nonchalantly, adding a fatal blow.

"I'm so envious of the guy Senou-san likes. Tell me who it is next time."

Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it. Not only did she give me a fatal blow, but she also threw me into the river. What should I do? Did they turn me into a woman just to make me feel this despair?

I couldn't bear to look Sakura Kaede in the face anymore. I could tell what she was like just by the atmosphere and the untouched lunch on the table.

"Then I'll take my leave."

Shizuku stood up. She'd finished her meal without me noticing; it looked like quite a bit, all gone into her slender frame.

"I had a great time today. Let's eat together again sometime."

"..."

It was terrible for me. How could I be happy?

Shizuku turned back just as she was about to leave.

"Oh, by the way, is that first-year student Kondou who's back in school someone you know?"

I remained silent for a moment, not answering her.

"...Never mind, it doesn't matter anyway. She seems like a pretty good girl."

With these profound words, the student council president walked out of the cafeteria.

Only Sakura Kaede and I remained.

The cafeteria, which should have been bustling with activity, was strangely quiet at this moment.

This situation was incredibly awkward. Sakura Kaede's head (presumably) was tilted downwards, while I stared at the tray in the school cafeteria, almost tearing a hole through it. I desperately needed a way out of this situation, but nothing came to mind. I wished the tray could create a hole deep underground so I could escape straight to Argentina.

Finally,

"...I'm going back..."

With those whispers, Sakura Kaede left, and I remained frozen in place.