Editing Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Kazuaki Toyoshina (section)

===5===

"Let's get married when we've grown up."

That's the typical promise made between two childhood friends. You hear it so often in manga or anime or games and so forth that it's become a cliché. It's the most straightforward way to ensure an unbreakable bond between the protagonist and the heroine.

But in real life there is no meaning in such a promise.

When we grow up, we don't remember those childish promises anyway, and even if we do, they have long since expired because we didn't even know the real meaning of marriage. Only a hopeless fool would take that proposal seriously and ask a girl out on that pretext. Even if two childhood friends date each other, a promise like that does not count as a memory but as a funny story.

We are constantly growing up, leaving behind the past. Therefore, it's essential to always live in the same time as the other party in order to keep such a promise intact.

At the beginning, neither of the two might know what the difference between boys and girls is, and what it means to get married or to become a couple. From there, they have to keep walking and growing up together, and they will slowly but surely come to understand what it means to find a partner for life. When they do that and still continue to treasure the promise of getting married when they've grown up—and only then—that promise acquires significance.

I consider that a miracle. It's impossible not to withdraw such a promise after getting to know every good and bad trait of the other party, or the dirty differences between boys and girls, or the appeal of the other sex. Maybe they become aware of their feelings for each other <i>after</i> parting ways once to find themselves other partners, but it's impossible to constantly hold the belief of belonging together and getting married. I am positive that it's safe to say that such a thing is impossible. That's why I consider it a miracle.

And our relationship was founded on such a miracle.

Though made possible only because of a narrow view and foolishness, I felt quite comfortable with that kind of relationship.

It was extremely dear to me.




With those thoughts in mind, I look around our park.

Here we sat together in a swing. Here we unsuccessfully tried to build a tunnel with sand. Here we did our first forward upward circling on the horizontal bar. The jungle gym I fell from has been removed by now, but this place is still doubtlessly the park that we considered ours.

This is where I spent time with the little Shizuka.

This park shaped us, protected us, and—destroyed us.

Yeah, that's right.

Even the dearest of places may stab you in the back.

Yeah, that's right.

Reality treats saints and sinners all alike, attacking them mechanically, randomly, without any consideration and selection.

Yeah, that's right.

Anything and everything in this world with the exception of Shizuka betrays me.



I feel the content of my pocket with my hand. The cross choker is there. I'm fine.



I close my eyes. Because I don't want to see.

I cover my ears. Because I don't want to hear.

I close myself to the world. Because I don't want to believe.


There is only one thing I need to see now: the phenomenon that exists around me with an appearance similar to Shizuka's.


Reina Kamisu is waiting for me at the center of the park.


"Are you done saying goodbye to your friends?" she asks.

"There is no one I have to say goodbye to."

"I see..." she notes with a slightly sad smile.

"There is someone I need," I say with averted eyes.

"I know."

"I'm helpless without her. I can't move on at this rate."

"...I know."

"I do absolutely and unconditionally need Shizuka Wakui."

"...I know."

As I turn to her, I ask, "Do you also have a person who you need?"

After a short pause, Reina Kamisu replies, "I suppose that would be you, Kazuaki Toyoshina."

"...I see. You're right. You're dependent on me, after all."

"...That's also part of the reason."

"<u>Also</u>?"

"I assume it's due to the role that you gave me, but I seem to... be extremely fond of you. I can't help wanting to be by your side."

"...Do you possess feelings?" I ask her.

"I do!"

"But... those were conceived by me."

"Yes, but they are not false... or would you call feelings that someone created in you false?"

I answer with a weak smile, "I wouldn't."

"Right? I do feel the same as a common human when I manifest in front of you, even though I may purely be an idea."

"Even though you exist solely for the sake of someone else?"

"Yes."

To be honest, I think that we may resemble each other. I was dependent on Shizuka, too, and lost my place to be when she died.

"We're much alike," I say aloud.

"...I suppose you're right. We'll get along just fine," Reina Kamisu smiles at me. "I only exist to fulfill the role you gave to me. I will become who you need and stay by your side."

"...As my lover?"

"Yes. We will walk side by side for all eternity. You will abandon this world and only concern yourself with me. I know that this is your wish. That this is your happiness."

"You're absolutely right."

With those words, I take the choker out of my pocket.

"That's a lovely choker," she remarks.

I silently put the chocker that Shizuka wore at the very end around Reina Kamisu's neck.

"How is it?"

I gaze at her without letting go of the choker, and reply:

"It looks great on you."

Upon hearing my answer, Reina Kamisu,<u>who resembles Shizuka</u>, smiles.

Suddenly, I wonder where I will be going. Where Reina Kamisu will be guiding me.

I turn my attention at her again; the choker suits her greatly.

I remember ordering it on the Internet because I was too embarrassed to enter a jeweler's shop. I was astonished when I noticed that the actual thing looked quite different from the pictures, but Shizuka loved my present nonetheless.

When she put it on, she laughed and joked, "Maybe I'm a bit too young for this?" I then told her not to strain herself, but she assured me that she <i>wanted</i> to wear it.

It's a shame, <u>but the choker did not suit her.</u>

<u>I still won't let go of the choker.</u>

"...Kazuaki?"

Oh boy, God remains cruel to me.

"Don't call me that!" I shout.

"Eh?"

Reina Kamisu has feelings and is attracted to me on top of that. She's no different from a human.

"Otherwise it would sound like Shizuka were calling my name, no?"

But I'm the one who set up this scene. I wished all this.

"What do you mean...?" she asks.

It's what I wished for in order to win.



"—<u>You are Reina Kamisu and no one else!</u>"



At her last hour Shizuka wore this choker. It never really suited her. It was a token of our love.

And with this choker, I—


—<u>strangle Reina Kamisu</u>.


At once, her beautiful face that <u>resembles</u> Shizuka's distorts with pain.

"...Wh...y...?"

Despair shows in her face.

"Don't you get it?" I ask without loosening the choker. "You can't become Shizuka, nor can you replace her. You can't satisfy me by any stretch. Being similar to her is by far not enough. If you really were to replace her, <u>you would've had to be as alike as two peas in a pod.</u>"

"...B-But... but then... what is my role...?"

"The answer is staring you in the face."

I strangle Reina Kamisu's neck so hard that she can no longer say a word. She moans painfully.

"If your role isn't to be my lover and substitute for Shizuka, then it's your role to be—"


"—my enemy!"


Reina Kamisu. I will never forgive you.

I detest the enemy that tormented Shizuka and me.

I detest the park that betrayed us.

I detest the fate that left us with this outcome.

I detest all those non-existent enemies.

That's why I give that role to you, Reina Kamisu.

That detestable role belongs to you.


"Reina Kamisu, you are—"


"—a monster that must die."


Reina Kamisu.

You may be a phenomenon—an intangible phenomenon—but I can still kill you.

Don't you agree?

After all, enemies exist—

—to be killed.


"Die."


I don't care if the entire world gets distorted by the erasure of Reina Kamisu.

I don't care if killing her solves nothing.

It will make nobody happy, not even me. 

I'll do it only for me as I go to hell, because it's the only thing I can do.

I will—


"Please, die already!"


—<u>kill Reina Kamisu</u>.


I can clearly feel her neck as I strangle her. The sensation of killing; the realization that her life drains.

I can clearly feel it.

I feel something dwindle away. Maybe it's something that's insignificant to others, something invisible, but my gut feeling rings an alarm bell.

But as much as I try to catch it, it will just run through my fingers.

Whatever it is, it cannot be made undone. Never.

And before I know it, I have arrived where Reina Kamisu was supposed to guide me.


Reina Kamisu—<u>is no more.</u>


The choker has split apart.

...I don't care anymore.

There is no enemy anymore.

There is no Reina Kamisu anymore.

Reina Kamisu is nowhere.



I return from the boundary of worlds and I find myself in another unfamiliar world.

It's the normal, rational, empty world, which I'm supposed to know only too well. Yet, this world strikes me as unfamiliar.

But it's reality. The hard truth.

Therefore, the sight before my eyes is real.



"Why didn't you listen to me?"


I assigned Reina Kamisu the role of my enemy; but in order to confront and have her fulfill that role, there was a need for me to unlock the filter of my common sense.

That's why I closed my eyes, covered my ears and closed myself to the world. I needed to warp the original data into shape.

My enemy.

My memory was manipulated so that I would kill my enemy, Reina Kamisu, by manipulating the flow of information in a way that would present her death as my first priority. The system revolves entirely around her role.

Reina Kamisu is a phenomenon.

She can't physically kill anyone, and no one can physically kill her.

But Reina Kamisu was my enemy.

She had to be killed. I had to physically experience the sensation of murdering her. There was a need to feel her death with my own hands.

As a result...

<i>Didn't I warn you?</i>


—<u>That's why I told you to stay away from me.</u>


"<u>Hozumi-chan.</u>"


I look down at her. Her face is so distorted with pain that it's painful to look at it directly—and yet there is an undeniable glimmer of satisfaction in her face.

Why?!

It's enough if Reina Kamisu takes on others' roles, so <u>why did you think of taking on the role of Reina Kamisu?</u>

Was keeping up contact with me so important to you? Did you prefer opposing me over being left behind?

You're incomprehensible, Hozumi-chan!

I, yes <u>I</u>, am only concerned with Shizuka and no one else. You can't become Shizuka, nor can you replace her. You can't satisfy me by any stretch.

Why did would you want to stick to a guy like me to the bitter end...?

It's a shame. Really. You were so close.

<u>You almost managed to change me—</u>


I look up at the sky as I feel that my fight is over.

Hey Shizuka, I won!

I won against Reina Kamisu and Hozumi Shiiki!

I will continue to love you!

But I feel lonely. Incredibly lonely.

There's no one by my side. I don't allow anyone to be.

I'm sure that it will stay that way, with me continuing to remain <b>here</b>.

Someone, please.

Please, anyone, warm me up.

But I won't allow anyone to do that.

Shizuka. Shizuka.

I don't care if you're a ghost, or a fake, or a humanoid energy even.

Don't leave me alone.

But Reina Kamisu is no more.

The being that could replace you is no more.

She is not <b>here</b> anymore.

I'm all alone.



The only thing left to me is—the invaluable symbol of Shizuka and my connection.

The cross choker I gave to her. No—



—the <i>remnants</i> of it.




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