Editing Talk:IS:Volume4 Chapter1 (section)

== Proposed translation edit ==

In the first paragraph alone, I found　many instances where simple mistakes are made that could be easily changed with a few word changes.  Also, the final sentence of the first paragraph really needs changing...
Minor edits I propose for the first paragraph are:<br />
"August" to "It's August" (to sound more natural)<br />
"The weather is hot to death." to "Something this hot can't possibly exist." (「ありゃしない」 is something that doesn't even exist, and she's referring this to how hot it is.)<br />
"From the beginning" to "From long ago" (昔="long ago" [not "the beginning"])<br />
"weather" to "summers" (夏-"summer" [she doesn't hate the weather in Japan in general, just its summers])<br />
"Hate the most." to "I detest it." (The idea here is that this sentence strengthens the sense that she hates the summer [saying 「大ッ嫌い」, instead of the aforementioned ｢嫌い」 by itself].  Saying "Hate the most." is not only grammatically awkward and incorrect, but the meaning is also incorrect since it's not saying that she's hates it more than anything. For my proposal, "detest" is simply a word with a stronger sense of dislike, which is the idea here.)<br />
"Also I'm not this country's citizen." to "I'm not this country's citizen to begin with." (そもそも doesn't mean "also".)<br />
A lot of these simply make the meaning clearer, but are not absolute necessities.  What really needs changing is the final sentence.<br />
The originally translation of 「最初は両親の都合、次は祖国の都合でここにいる。」 was very grammatically incorrect and awkward, not to mention incorrect in meaning..  She's giving reasons as to why she's currently in the country, and not reasons why she's not a citizen of that country.  So I proposed the final sentence be changed to "I'm here at first due to circumstances regarding my parents, then later due to circumstances regarding my native country."<br />
Also, a new paragraph actually starts at 「そもそも」.<br />
With all the changes proposed, it comes to:<br />
"It's August. Something this hot can't possibly exist. From long ago, I hated this country's summers. I detest it.<br />
I'm not this country's citizen to begin with. I'm here at first due to circumstances regarding my parents, then later due to circumstances regarding my native country."<br />
<br />
More corrections to come as I read more... [[User:Perfect Chaos|Perfect Chaos]] 03:53, 16 April 2011 (UTC)<br />
<br />
On the 10th line, where it says, "While I was thinking about turning back, suddenly I met him", she wasn't thinking of turning back. ｢そう思って足をＵターン」 would be something like "Thinking that, I make a u-turn".<br />
Then on the next line, "Oh, isn't that Ling?" makes it sound like he's talking to someone else about Ling. It would be better as "Oh, if it isn't Ling?" as if he's speaking out loud and being surprised that he's bumped into her.[[User:Perfect Chaos|Perfect Chaos]] 06:48, 16 April 2011 (UTC)

 
Thanks a lot! I can't read Japanese raws, so I'm happy that you helped me. [[User:Kira0802|Kira0802]] 18:26, 18 April 2011 (UCT)


So the main page list "(Chinese trans.)" by your name; does that mean that you are translating this into English from a Chinese translation of the original Japanese? If so, then I guess a translation of a translation would leave even more room for errors and for things to be lost in translation, so it's understandable how some of these errors were made. Anyway, I'm glad to be able to help out.<br />
In a few weeks, my summer vacation starts, so I'll probably be able to contribute much more often. When that happens, can I help you with translating the later chapters of this volume? (And how exactly do I "register" as a translator, anyway? Do I just edit [[Infinite Stratos:Registration Page|this page]] and insert my name into it? I'm new to actually contributing on here, so I'm not sure how processes are done. It'll be greatly appreciated if you can help me out.) [[User:Perfect Chaos|Perfect Chaos]] 06:34, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

Also, and future edits I'm making, I'm just going to change it directly on the page, giving my reasons in the summary area, since doing it here on the discussion page just takes more effort for the both of us.  If you feel like you don't like it, then feel free to revert it back or something.  But if you feel that you'd rather prefer I do it via this discussion page first, then say the word and I'll comply to your wishes, since you're the original contributor. (Don't forget to answer my question regarding tranlating, and the process of registering for it. Thank you.) [[User:Perfect Chaos|Perfect Chaos]] 07:18, 20 April 2011 (UTC)


Kira. I'll be going through the page and changing the exclamations to their english counterparts. And making some small changes (fixing punctuation errors and adding reference links, mainly). For the '''(i)'''s I'll add notes/my views so, if you're not busy, could you go over them. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] -  17:49, 12 July 2011 (UCT)

Okay. Done. Kira, could go go through the whole thing and clean up the hidden comments where you feel that they can be cleaned up? I feel that as translator you would have better understanding of what to keep and what to delete. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] -  19:06, 12 July 2011 (UCT)