Editing Watashi Tachi no Tamura kun:Volume1 Chapter1 (section)

===Part 5===


A huge full moon hung from high in the sky—

Under the pale white beams cast down: there was a meadow.

Matsuzawa really was cute.

She was wearing gym clothes as always, with a pair of rabbit ears and a fluffy tail, jumping and running with leaps and bounds.

I chased behind her, asking questions as I ran.

"Hey—Matsuzuawa! Where are you running off tp?"

Matsuzawa hopped as she responded:

"I'm going home. Everyone's waiting for me."

The tip of her finger pointed to the round moon that hung from the sky.

I was beyond shocked. She's such a fool!

How did she plan to get back to the moon, anyways? She obviously didn't have wings or a rocket. Matsuzawa didn't even consider this as she just single-mindedly kept running forward, firmly believing she'd reach the moon one day.

Unable to keep going myself, I hollered out to her.

"You should give up! You can't fly!"

But Matsuzawa didn't stop. I only had a vivid premonition that if she kept on running like that, that girl would fall off the other side of the earth.

She couldn't keep running like that. But, Matsuzawa never listened.

Those long pairs of ears never heard my voice.

I wanted to save her!

How could I do it?

I need to think.

What could I do to save this girl? What could I do to convince that girl to stay here? What could I do to make that girl stop running for me?

What could I do?

"I know—"

I suddenly snapped open my eyes, and leaped out of my bed.

As the last syllable of my cry stayed suspended, my heart seemed to contract as it thumped while the blood flow slowed.

I looked at the time, and it was seven o'clock in the morning.

A warm breeze blew in through the open window, carrying the early morning chorus of cicadas. I broke out in sweat, and my body was soaked.

It happened on that morning.

I didn't know it was an illness from the heatstroke, but I slept in a coma like I was dead. After two days passed, on that morning— 

I finally realized something.

"Hey, is your body alright? Where are you going?"

When I was putting on shoes at the entrance, Mom caught up with her pattering footsteps. She insisted that I wear a hat, but I said I wouldn't agree no matter way, and gave a crafty smile.

"This is a life or death matter!"

"Really... you're not in good shape at all!"

I know I'm not in good shape!

I pushed the door open, and leaped across the stairs that extended in front of the entrance in one jump. In the instant I landed on the asphalt road hot from the sunray, it was like being burned on a red-hot surface. However, my legs did not hesitate the slightest bit.

I still remembered the directions.

First I had to go straight for a little, and then turn left after the wine store. After that, I had to cut through the park with the cats, follow along the wall to of elementary school, and walk to a slightly wider road—

"Ah!"

It was probably across the street, and then a right turn—

I unexpectedly ran into that girl!

That girl was simply like a miracle as she stood there.

She was on the other side of a two-lane roadway, wearing a white western-style dress that seemed to waver in unusual heat. It nearly looked like she was steam evaporating from heat. I recklessly almost wanted to cross the street, but it was a red light, and the traffic wouldn't stop moving—

"Matsuzawa!"

Apart from calling to her from across the street, I had no other ideas.

I don't know if she heard me, but Matsuzawa opened her eyes wide in surprise, and raised her face that was reddened from being steamed in the heat. 

Quite a lot of time passed, but the light didn't change, so I anxiously pulled my lungs open while we were separated by the roadway.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

Matsuzawa hesitated for a moment, and then replied to me at a volume I could hear her.

"I'm going to my grandmother's hospital! I called for a taxi, so it'll drive here soon!"

"I see! So... I guess there isn't much time then! I was planning to go to your house!"

"Why?"

I waited for a large rumbling truck to pass by, and the streetlight was still red.

"There's something I want to tell you! Even the little time before the taxi comes is fine too. Are you willing to listen right now?"

"Mm!"

It was so hot my vision almost seemed to blur. Matsuzawa's figure looked as if it was wavering, and as I opened my lungs, my voice came out a little strange.

Even so, it was still a red light at the moment. Despite this... right now, I wanted to say it right now.

On the verge of exploding, I couldn't stop myself from shouting.

Because of the excessively dazzling hot light, Matsuzawa's eyes were squinted as I looked at her. Those were coffee-colored, crystal clear, and beautiful eyes.

I faced that pair of eyes, and I faced Matsuzawa.


'''"I - love - you!"'''


I said it.

"Hn?"

That girl gave a very obvious tremble, and jumped.

"Mambo!"

I finally understood!

Since the time I first spoke to her in the classroom, nearly a month had already passed.

I ran with her for a week, and avoided Matsuzawa after that. A second week passed. Since we never had the opportunity to meet during vacation, another two weeks passed. I was stupid for needing so much time...

Sometimes I was happy, and other times I felt hurt. It made my heart a huge mess. My body and mind nearly broke down from being repeatedly tossed around by sky-fluttering happiness and near-crushing pain. 

Now, it was finally time!

"I..."

I said it.

It was from the bottom of my heart, and the depths of my body. In short, I used all of my strength to squeeze those few words out. I shuddered, and an unknown liquid like melted snow moistened by whole cheeks.

"I love you! As long as it'll make you happy, I'll do anything for you! I don't mind if you want to return to the moon! As long as you feel happy, then it's okay! But, but that... also..."

Damn! I saw a taxi flashing a reserved sign driving in this direction. Like it wanted to break us apart, it cut straight through the road that separated the both of us.

As for Matsuzawa—

"Ah, mhn, hnnn..."

It looked like this was the limit. But never mind her, I was practically breaking down myself.

"Um, um... if you go back to the moon, I want you keep the "happy" memories you have from Earth! This is the only thing I can do! That's why, please tell me a way you won't forget those memories!

Just went I finished saying this, the taxi stopped in front of Matsuzawa. I secretly wished she would stay behind because of me, but that girl didn't even hesitate before she got on the car. So demoralizing!

The traffic light finally changed, and I rushed across without looking back. The taxi Matsuzawa called was still there. This is my last chance. The split second I drew close to the window—

"Use telepathy..."

Matsuzawa rolled down the window, revealing her soaked with perspiration and flushed face. 

"I'm sure I'll receive some signals that will be really hard to forget!"
<!-TLC check apprecipated-->

I thought about how I should respond, but as I considered saying "Oh!" or "I'll leave it to you, you slowpoke!", the taxi drove away as I panted with big breaths...

As I turned and look around, the dazzling sun glared over the road. Just like this, I was left behind. There was no way I could confirm it with the lights around me.
<!--Need a TLC Check-->

"Huh…?"


I suddenly came to my senses, and my head was dizzy.

I was lying on the sofa in the living room—right, just before I died, I managed to struggle back home. Even though I went through a near-death experience, I didn't feel it until I turned on the air conditioning. When I was enjoying the cool air, I unintentionally fell asleep.

I wiped shameful globs of saliva from my mouth, and got up from the sofa. Without the television on, the living room was unusually 	quiet. I stretched my neck, and as I was wondering if anyone was home—

"You woke up! I need to go out, so please watch the house for me! Who knows if the phone will ring!"

My mother, who finally appeared, was collecting the things she needed. She grabbed her cellphone, and was about to go out the door."

"Where are you going?"

"Really!? You didn't hear me earlier? You're wasting all the effort I spent waking you up! It's a parent conference for your class!"

"Why… what's going on?"

"Apparently, one of the students had someone in their family pass away! We want to see how we can help out! If your older brother or Takayuki come home, tell them we'll cook dinner a little later today. If you need to, order some pizza to start!

I choked up emotionally soon afterwards, when I suddenly realized it might be...

This wasn't merely my intuition. It was closer to a precise premonition, and it nearly made me choke.

"Someone passed away… could that be…?"

"It's that Matsuzawa family! Ah! Really… what should we do? Her family is only composed of her grandmother and herself… it's too sad! Really…"

"I…"

By reflex, I blurted it out.

"I'm also going!"

"No!"

My mom refused resolutely!

"Even if you come, you're no use, right? You can't be any help! In these kinds of the times, only the people who can help should give their assistance!"

I sat on the sofa, and idly watched as my mom walked out.

But that being said, it made sense now.

If someone was merely going to visit the hospital, one wouldn't normally call the taxi!

In other words—that time, Matsuzawa was going to the hospital to say "farewell" to her grandmother!

Are you alright?

I only wanted to ask her that.

My hands shaking nonstop, I tried dialing the phone four times. I even ran straight to her house once.

But, I didn't hear Matsuzawa's voice even once. Like this, the entire day passed.


But today!

"Because it's summertime, they're hurrying up with the funeral!"—I didn't want to think about what that implied. But according to my mom, they also rushed the wake.

It was nearly dusk, and people were going out to the community activity center.

When we were little, my older brother, Takayuki, and I used to take a calligraphy class there for a period of time. Today, this familiar building was hung with funeral decorations. There was a black and white curtain called a Kujiramaku, and a slightly chilling breeze was mixed with the smell of burning incense.

"Hey... Tamura-kun!"

The person who waved considerately from under the lantern was Takaura.

"Hey!"

I lifted my hand in response, but why did muscles in my cheek seem to emit some kind of chafing noise? I used my hand to cover my mouth, and conceal my face.

"The people you arrive need to add their names to guest book, and then line up to burn incense. Let's go!"

"Class prez... if you're going to go line up, not everyone in our class is here yet."

"Don't worry about it!"

I followed his striding steps towards the prepared table. With the most careful detail, I signed my name. The line for burning incense was divided into two rows, and we both line up at the end up opposite lines. Then, Takaura faintly spoke up.

"How should I put it...? Matsuzawa's come across such an unfortunate thing..."

I had no response, and only nodded my head.

Many of my classmates were also lined up in the procession, but not even half of them was chattering. Everyone more or less received a kind of shock.

This morning, everyone was informed about the wake through the class network. At the same time, it was also mentioned that Matsuzawa didn't have any other family, so they hoped the entire class could attend.

"What's she going to do from now on? That girl… you knew about her family situation from the beginning, right?"

"More or less…"

"Really? Since when?"

"Since I started liking her."

Takaura went quiet for a little bit.

"I see…"

In the end, that's all he said.

As such, we both simply sank into silence.

The line to burn incense smoothly moved forward, and before long I found the disagreeable picture of an old lady in front of me. She looked nothing like Matsuzawa. A white coffin was silently resting some distance in the back.

Imitating everyone else, I took a pinch of fine dust just like chili powder, brought it close to my forehead, and then placed it in the neighboring receptacle. I bowed my head in respect.

When I lifted my head, Matsuzawa was standing there.

Our eyes just happened to meet.

I wasn't sure if it was because she had been crying, or she had lacked sleep, but her eyes were red like a rabbit's.

"Matsu—!"

In that moment, everything that I wanted to say almost flooded out of my throat, but I closed my mouth tightly. Are you okay? How are you? Are you tired? Can I do anything for you? Don't hesitate to ask me, Matsuawa.

Matsuzawa...

"…"

I didn't know how to act, and I only stood there in silence. Even though Takaura patted my shoulders, I couldn't move at all.

I wanted to do something for her.

Even though I had no clue what I could do, I still wanted to do something for Matsuzawa. As long as I could let Matsuzawa feel a little bit of "happiness", I would do anything regardless of the cost to make it happen.

At that moment, tears started rolling from Matsuzawa's coffee colored eyes.

Before I could even think about it, my body already reacted. It's just that... I didn't act the right way.

The correct thing I should have done was gently hand over my handkerchief, and softly say, "Wipe it with this". But, instead, I fished out my handkerchief from my pocket and with my own hands, immediately wiped the snot that was about to drip down with her tears.

"Umwu..."

"Sor... sorry!

Matsuzawa gave an incredibly perplexed look, and then abruptly grabbed the handkerchief that had been pressed on her her nose. Then, there came a sound.

*Sound-of-Nose-Blowing*

She really blew her nose very loudly.

"I'm shawrry.... shince earwier, I rweaawy wanted to mumblemumblemmble..."

"I can't understand you..."

Matsuzawa blew in and out with her nose, straightened herself, and then continued!

"I'll return this..."

"You don't need to. I'll give it to you! I haven't gotten to that state."

"Mhm. Then I'll definitely return it to you after I wash it!"

Definitely.

We repeated this several times, and in the end, she took the handkerchief and put it in her pocket.

At that instant, I realized there was something strange!

To put it simply, why would she do things to that extent? It was only a handkerchief, so there was no reason for Matsuzawa to emphasize "definitely". 


After I left the community activity center, the suspicious feeling died down. Only, Matsuzawa's voice continued to linger in my ears.

''Sorry for coming back so late! We'll get started with dinner right away!''

When I heard that voice, I realized how much time had flown by. As a member of the parent-teacher association, my mother had finally come home after helping out at the wake.

I wasn't hungry at all, and I ate my meal insipidly. Afterwards, crawled back to my own room.

Studying, television, music, and manga. Right now, I didn't couldn't concentrate on any of these.

As I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling, my mind started to drift in quite negative directions. In order to dispel these thoughts, I started imagining some happy things to cover up the pessimism, like... whether I should ask Matsuzawa to come to the beach, or whether I should invite her to come to the shrine festival, or even ask her to a study date at the library like a proper exam candidate... and study?

Right... what was Matsuzawa going to do about that? Was she going to take high school entrance exams?

...stop thinking about it! Stop, stop!

I suddenly buried my head in my pillow, and started again. Not this, not that, was there something... something happier—?

"Yukisada? Are you awake?"

The door suddenly opened.

As usual, my older brother stuck his head in without even knocking. There were a lot of things I wanted to complain about, but I didn't even have the energy to speak out to him right now. I only tunneled deeper in my blanket.

"I don't feel well, and I'm gonna go to bed. Turn off the lights please!"

I responded like that. But—

"Wait, don't go to sleep yet. There's a guest over!"

When I heard this unexpected line, I lifted my head.

"They're asking for me?"

"Her surname was Matsuzawa. That's the girl whom the wake was for today, right? You should probably go down and see her."

"What?"

When I sprang up, my sheets also flew into the air.

I pushed aside my brother, careened down the stairs, and arrived at the front door in a flash (at least, it felt that way to me). Then, I saw her—

Matsuzawa was standing there.

She was wearing the same outfit that she was wearing several hours ago, and standing at the front porch of my house.

"Oh...... it's a beautiful night out tonight!"

After suppressing my anxiety in an instant, I tried to act calm as I raised my hand and gave a greeting.

"I must express my thanks that you came to a-a-attend the funeral today... that um..."

"If you don't know what to say, don't worry about it!"

Matsuzawa didn't speak. I didn't speak. Like this, how were we supposed to continue? Was I supposed to invite her inside? No, wait a moment! The wrinkled pajamas I took off are piled over there like a snakeskin. No! That's bad! While I was worrying myself over this—

"Really, really! Are you okay? Are you alright?"

My mother suddenly appeared.

"You must be exhausted! Are you hungry? Want to have a bite to eat? What do you want? Are onigiri okay? Mhm, then let's make a few onigiri! Takayuki! Can you check if there's any leftover rice?"

"No need, um... I'm just looking for Tamura-kun..."

"Uh—there's still about two bowls of rice left over... huh? Yuki's girlfriend? Woah! Nao, get over here! It's his girlfriend!"

"Um, I... that."

"Huh? She's your girlfriend? So you do have talents after all! I now see you in a new light! Dad, come over here and look!"

"I'm looking for Tamura-kun..."

"Huh? What? Girlfriend? Yukisada's? Want to get a beer?"

Just shut up everyone—!

Speaking for Matsuzawa, she wasn't good at talking in the first place, and right now she must have been extremely exhausted. If I invited her inside, there's no way she'd be able to walk away alive.

"Why don't we chat outside? ...There's a park over there."

I slipped on my sandals, and urged Matsuzawa outside. Then—

"Watch your feet! Be careful of the steps!"

And just when I finished saying that—

"Bro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"?"

Slipping and shouting like a character from a manga, Takayuki tumbled down the stairs from my and Matsuzwa's side. Although it shocked us speechless, Takayuki seemed to magically land on the ground gracefully. How impressive! And then—

"Woah!! That gave me a shock! Here, here! It'll be boring if you don't take this with you!"

He held out his hand and displayed an ordinary supermarket plastic bag. I checked what was inside.

"Hey... Matsuzawa's in mourning right now! She's not going to be in the mood for that kind of thing!"

Entirely annoyed, I was about to give it back to him, but Mastuzawa glanced inside of the bag and let out an ｢Ahh...｣.

"Amazing...... I haven't played with one of these in years... wow..."

"Here! Take it!"

Using a motion like a bear scooping salmon out of the water, I passed the bag that was about to give to Takayuki to Matsuzawa. I take back my words.

—Takayuki did a great job!


It was just like the moon that I saw in my dream, tenderly shining on this tiny playground. The breeze was unbelievably refreshing.

We occupied a corner near the water fountain, and took out the fireworks.

"Pick the one you like!"

I gave the entire bag to Matsuzawa.

These were the assorted fireworks leftover from Takayuki and his girlfriend's playing. He really was a considerate little brother, though, he didn't prepare a bucket to smother the fireworks, so you could see his adolescent rashness very well. 

"Did you pick one?"

"Mmn!"

"Is there one you like?"

"Mmn!"

Unlike usual, Matsuzawa nodded very energetically.

"Then I'll... pick this one!"

Although Matsuzawa didn't mind herself, you couldn't change the fact she was still in mourning. Even as we laughed happily as we played with fireworks, there was still some worries weighing there. Yet when I took out the last sparkler we saved—in this quiet nighttime public park, silently watching that tiny fireball burning, there was some air of elegance to it.

"Well, let's light it!"

<nowiki>*Sparkle*.... *Crackle*...

*Rumblerumblerumblerumblewoosh*

"Matsuzawa....?"

"Hm?"

*Swoooshbooommmm*</nowiki>
<!--I'm really bad a firework sounds! I'm soory!-->

"What's that firework that gives off seven colors that you're holding?"

"Magnificent. Strike. Strong. Beautiful. Explosion. Dragon. Fire. That's what's written on it!"

"Is it okay for you to hold it with your hands?"

My voice was smothered by the sounds of explosion.

It turned out Matsuzawa had a particular preference only for that kind of firework.

We squatted there side-by-side in the same posture people use for going to the bathroom <ref>Don't ask me why Takemiya-san gives that detail... in Asian, there are squatting toilets that you need to squat to go to the bathroom. Clearly there's no seat lids.</ref>, under the dissipating threads of smoke fireworks, playing with meaningless firecrackers, and using them all up.

Not after all, Matsuzawa looked like she sighed softly.

"Um... Tamura-kun..."

She spoke.

"What is it?"

"I almost forgot about this..."

Matsuzawa fished around her pocket, and pulled out a familiar-looking handkerchief.

"I'm really sorry I accidentally blew my nose on it today... I washed it and dried it as soon as I could... I came to return this to you."

I received it—

"Hey! This little thing!? You're so busy right now, you could have returned it anytime!"

Although I said this out loud, I couldn't help but reveal a smile from the corner of my mouth.

This was great!

Wiping her nose was a good decision! Even if it was a little reckless, I did profoundly feel that way about everything. Because now, I finally met Matsuzawa. Matsuzawa came to see me. We even went to go play with fireworks afterwards, alone in the in the park at night. I really wanted to shout out loud from joy: "Everyone look! It's really true, it's great!"

I stuffed the not fully dry handkerchief back into my pocket. But when I suddenly thought of something—

Enough though I felt this was great, I honestly felt something was off. Why was Matsuzawa is such a rush to do this? Why did she have to deliver this today at this time? I thought back to the funeral, when Matsuzawa insisted she would 'definitely' return it to me. I felt something was strange then, and even until now it echoed in my mind.

Based entirely on her usual behavior, it was honestly too unusual. What motivation couldn't be pushed off to the next day and would cause her to promise she would definitely do it?

"There's... something I just wanted to ask..."

It was a hoarse sound.

I shook my head, shaking away my imagination of what was going to happen, and forced myself to forget everything. Then I lifted my head.

The flame from the sparker that I held from my hand illuminated Matsuzawa's face. The orange light accented the soft and curved lines of the profile of her face, and it was extremely beautiful.

I watched a goddess as I waited for her to speak.

"The running...... why did you stop coming?"

"Ah... ouch!"

The glowing fire fell off the string.

As the ember fell, it grazed by the back of my hand. Perhaps, I thought to myself, it was because I burned myself, but a full two seconds passed where I couldn't move my body. I speechlessly had my mouth open.

"You're asking why... so you really don't understand..."

That day, on that morning—

To this, I haven't been able to forget the feels I had she she rejected me. The image of Matsuzawa's back when she rejected me.

"Although the tension is gone now... I think I vaguely understand what you meant back then, now. But back then, after you said that during that situation, I honestly didn't know how I should face you!! D-Don't cry!"

Matsuzawa started crying.

She sat down on the ground, pulled her face towards her knees, and burst into tears. Damn! I made her cry! Were my words too hard on her?

No, but who said...

"I-I knew..."

Trying to suppress her breaths choked up with sobs, Matsuzawa spoke.

"To be honest, I also knew... because I said such strange things, and I didn't seriously respond to the things you said, I made you angry..."

"Matsuzawa..."

So Matsuzawa really did understand it. And then—

"I've... always regretted it. That day... that day I made you angry... I was actually very happy when Tamura-kun came. But I thought... I shouldn't... be happy like this, because I'd become afraid of losing it, so I thought it wasn't okay.... I rushed myself... and I said things like that... I really regretted it, so much..."

I gazed at Matsuzawa's trembling neck, and silently thought over this girl's words.

''Shouldn't be happy.''

''Because I'd become afraid of losing it. So I thought it wasn't okay.''

Did she just say that? —Just now, did she say such pitiful words?

"Th-those kinds of things....... if I had known earlier, then I should have never said it. After I said those things to you, I realized for the first time how painful a thing it was. If you had kept on coming... if the two of us... never had an argument, and kept meeting each other during summer break... ever since yesterday, I've been thinking about what it would have been like..."

So at that time, that's what Matsuzawa was thinking. If she started feeling happy from the meetings, she'd become afraid of losing it, so that's why she rejected people—and in this case, that was me—who was still far far away.

In the end, I tried my best to forget about Matsuzawa's existence. I made my best ever not to go see her. When I finally understood Matsuzawa, three weeks had already passed.

Matsuzawa had felt regret for those three weeks. Now—

"You... told me—that you liked me, right?"

Now, she was sobbing relentlessly.

"Mm.... I said it."

"So, it wasn't a dream, right?"

"Of course it was real..."

"I'm really happy.... I really am... but...!"

She buried her face in her knees, and her frail back trembled.

It words that I could barely hear clearly, she shouted herself hoarse.

"It's too late... there's not enough time. Tamura-kun, you not only wanted to understand me, but you could you that love me... it might have be possible that we'd be able to start over... After today, we'd be able to go back to how we were. That's what I thought. It was about to start again after today, but it's already... impossible.

I silently listened as Matsuzawa kept repeating ‘after today’ and ‘after today’—those were words that only Matsuzawa understood herself, as she repeatedly said everything was shattered.

“It’s all… too late… because yesterday, everything changed…”

Matsuzawa sobbed loudly, and her voice and tears trickled down down and was sucked up by the ground.

“After all the difficulty, anticipating it for so long, that rare chance, and for that last summer break… and I ruined everything with my own hands… if I just didn’t say that back then, at least we could have been together until yesterday.”

“Hey, Matsuzawa… Matsu-chan.”

I lightly touched Matsuzawa’s back, and I felt a frighteningly hot temperature through her uniform. I patted her back, and prayed that her ragged breath would calm down.

“The things I’m hearing are causing my hair to stand on end… I’m getting a bad feeling about this…”

I desperately tried to keep my voice steady.

I was really scared.

After suddenly saying it was too late, that she ruined everything, and until yesterday—listening to Matsuzawa say things like this, I felt like I could link it together. These faintly uncomfortable pieces could all be linked together.

When I leant her my handkerchief, I had sensed something was off when she said she would ‘definitely’ return it. I wondered why she particularly had to come return it today… these clues revealed the answer in itself—

“I need to tell you…”

Matsuzawa slowly inhaled heavily, her nose sniffling, as she prepared herself to speak.

‘’“As expected”’’ and ‘’“Please wait”’’ were two thoughts sitting and swirling in my stomach. 

I really wanted to shout, ‘’“Stop!”’’ I didn’t want to hear it! I didn’t want to hear this kind of thing!

“Yesterday, my grandma passed away…… although the hospital informed me she was critically ill, this has actually happened several times already… so I was completely unprepared, when Grandma finally left me…”

Stop it! Don’t say it, Matsuzawa! Stop!

“Before I went to the hospital, Tamura-kun, you said you loved me… you said you understood many things, but you still loved me anyways… so I thought we could make up to each other, and meet each other again. I originally wanted to properly apologize to you about that running incident… I’ve told you already, I’ve always regretted it so much, so I’ll never say anything like that again. I thought about this in the taxi and I thought about the remainder of summer break… if we could spend it together… but, when I got to the hospital… why did everything have to become like that…? Why doesn’t it ever go right for me? Including up until now and those parts that were ruined, I wanted to start over so badly… from today on, I wanted to restart…”

Please, I begging you to stop. I already sensed it—

“Tamura-kun, to be honest…”
<!--For some reason, it says Tanaka-san in the raw. Um, typo?-->

Straightening up and lifting her face drenched with tears and mucus, Matsuzawa looked at me. Her eyes red from crying reflected the wavering image of the moon, which was actually very beautiful, but—

“I’m going to move to a relative’s house very far away. It’s a very far-away place. Tomorrow, once the funeral is over, I’ll be leaving.”

Don’t say it—


'''“So... goodbye!”'''


I grabbed her hand.

It was tiny, ice-cold hand.

“Tamura-kun…”

“Y-you said it wouldn’t be easy, right… you said you wanted to start over after today right?”

My voice and body trembled very abnormally, but I couldn’t blocks that were about to flood out.

“Are you just going to give up on it all? That future that you wanted to continue down after today…. all that effort to restart after today, is it going to disappear after we separate? Are you just going to say goodbye just like this? It’s going to end like this?”

I was unable to look directly at Matsuzawa’s face.

“If that’s the case, I’m definitely not going to let go of your hand! I won’t let you leave!”

If you take all that effort to restart after today, and disappear, I definitely won’t let go of your hand! There’s no way I’m letting go! I won’t let you go!”

I grabbed Matsuzawa’s hand, I and uselessly began to cry.

Who was the one who said Matsuzawa didn’t have wings or a rocket, and it was impossible for her to return to the moon? In this sadness, she could only continue living on the earth. Although I wanted Matsuzawa to continue living on, I didn’t want her to have that kind of “life” where she just breathed and ate. Rather, I wanted her to have a different life where there wouldn’t have any memories she wanted to forget—’all that effort to restart after today’. That was the only thing I hoped for. Even if she didn’t have me at her side, I wanted her to keep living.

“You’re such an idiot… even if we’re apart, I definitely won’t forget about you! And about ‘all that effort to restart after today’, it definitely won’t end just like this!”

At this point I think I heard some faint voice.

It was a really tiny sound. First, it was “I see.” And then it continued, “then, I also won’t forget about you.”

“Wuahhh……”

Just when I finally heard her clearly and grabbed the back of Matsuzawa’s hand, I suddenly felt a prick and a soft sensation. My eyes opened wide with shock.

Just like a small animal, Matsuzawa licked the burn on the back of my hand where the ember from the sparkler fell, making me loosen my fingers.

Matsuzawa seized the opportunity and stood up, and nimbly escaped just like a rabbit. She ran away with her back towards me.

And then—

“Tamura-kun! I… know now! I just figured it out! I’ve decided!”

She looked back.

She still had that smile filling her face, smooth and soft. Honesty—who knew if Matsuzawa was actually a lively girl three years ago. I thought about this unexpectedly calmly right now.
[[File:Watashi Tachi No Tamura Kun v01 - 117.jpg|thumb]]

Matsuzawa placed her two hands on her head, just like two rabbit ears. She closed her eyes, and started mumbling some incomprehensible spell. Matsuzawa, what’s with you? Are so exceedingly sad that you need to put on a teasing performance?


“Telepathy! Reception! Complete! Announcing the results!”


“That’s… that’s so sad!”

I started crying more miserably, but Matsuzawa still smiled happily.

“If I go back to the moon, I’ll forget all of memories from earth! That’s why…”

She stretched out the hands she had earlier placed on her head like rabbit ears. It was just like she wanted to embrace the moon in the sky.

“That’s why, I still want to stay on the earth for a while! Even if I’m separated from Tamura-kun… I’ll still try to do my best! From now, I’ll live a happily after today! I won’t forget! Those times when we went running, when you came to my house, when you said you love me, when we played with fireworks, and even when I hurt you… I won’t forget any of these! Thank you for bringing me so many memories! Thank you—! That day, it was really embarrassing, so this is to make up for it!”

She creased her brow, and hopped a few steps for me to see.

For those few moments, I held my breath.

It was like being shot through with an arrow. An overwhelming attack that scooped out a piece of my heart.

Even though this was probably effortless for her, I was completely fascinated by her in that split second.

It was so characteristic of Matsuzawa. It wasn’t quite straightforward, but—

“Idi…”

There was no way I could restrain the shout that was coming out.

“Idiot—! I didn’t think it was embarrassing at all—! Don’t look down on me—!”

As I shouted, I thought it couldn’t be...

Matsuzawa’s family couldn’t possibly be on the moon, right?

Because when Matsuzawa embraced the moonlight, it was so tender and dazzling. It was like the moon was giving off brilliant rays and showering Matsuzawa with love. 

It illuminated Matsuzawa’s path from the distant sky. And just with that wide smile, Matsuzawa waved and stepped away.