Editing CubexCursedxCurious:Volume13 Chapter3 (section)

===Part 6===

The "Woof Meow Friendship Park's Couples Battle" event was divided into two stages. The winner was decided based on the total score from the two stages. The first stage was the "Whiteboard Q&A" where couples had to answer the host's questions individually, scoring whenever their answers matched.

Haruaki and Shiraho were on standby next to the stage because it was almost their turn. Haruaki was naturally quite worried about the imminent whiteboard question and answer challenge, but to be honest, something else was worrying him even more. Of course, it was the lesbian couple who were glaring viciously in his direction with beast-like eyes while they were sitting on foldable chairs in the contestants' standby area in the back.

"W-Why did those two enter as well...?"

"Who knows? The silver-haired one looks like she wants the plush doll badly, so their target is probably the prize."

"Yeah... I can understand if it's Fear on her own but would Konoha accompany her for this reason...?"

In the standby area, there were other couples waiting for their turn on stage, but no one sat down in the foldable chairs in Konoha and Fear's immediate vicinity. All the other people were glancing at them frequently with eyes filled with curiosity and doubt as though watching exotic animals.

Shiraho scoffed and said:

"No matter what, for the sake of reconciliation with Sovereignty, I absolutely need that thing. I won't let them steal it away...! Before worrying about them, you should think carefully about the upcoming challenge, human! It's almost our turn to enter stage!"

"Easy for you to say, but to be honest, I have no confidence at all."

"Of course I know that. The abilities you possess are only limited to insect-level intellect and criminal rationality. Even so, one must make do with the cards that are dealt. So long as you dedicate your full effort, perhaps there may be results. No, rather, you should put in so much effort that your life is put on the line. If you actually die on the spot while putting your life on the line, lasting until the very instant of snatching first place, there would be no better timing than that!"

"Hey, how much effort are you asking me to put in!?"

"So you fail to understand unless I spell it out for you? So-called insect-level intellect, conversely speaking, is essentially the ability to keep running forward even after decapitation. As for criminal rationality, that's the ability to mercilessly kill, violate and defile anyone who gets in the way. In other words... There exist missions in this world that can only be accomplished by low-level humans who have no futures."

Haruaki narrowed his eyes to protest silently but it did not work at all against the current Shiraho. Soon after, it was finally their turn for the whiteboard Q&A.

"Oh dear, I-I guess there's no choice but to go through with it...? Anyway, I'm starting to feel nervous. Oh right, shouldn't we come up with some kind of strategy?"

"Yes. I have been listening to the questions for a while now and they all seem to asking for answers that only couples would know."

"Then that's bad, right? Because we're not a couple at all."

"Stop stating the universally obvious. I will think of a way... So what remains for you to do is simply the aforementioned, human. Muster all the dedication at your disposal, put forth all the willpower you can apply with desperate madness, and rack your brain at full speed. If we lose any part of our rightful score because of inane blunders, I will slaughter you."

At this moment, the staff waved to the two of them, hence Haruaki and Shiraho went up the stage using the stairs on the side. There were quite a lot of park visitors watching the event&mdash;but the vast majority seemed to be casting their gazes towards Shiraho with her otherworldly beauty. On the other hand, gazes directed towards Haruaki all seemed to be saying: "Why such an ordinary guy?" Haruaki not only felt nervous but also as though he were sitting on a pincushion.

Following directions, Haruaki and Shiraho sat down before a pair of desks that were placed side by side. Each desk was equipped with a whiteboard and marker combination. A movable partition between the desks could be manipulated to prevent the two contestants from seeing each other.

"Okay, it's time for the next couple to enter stage! Please encourage them with applause~!"

"Another pretty lady! Oh my~ This boyfriend here, you must be one lucky guy! What kind of trap did you lay down to capture her?"

"Hey, stop treating other people like exotic animals! I'm sorry~ This guy is always getting carried away and saying nonsense!"

The pair of hosts consisted of a man and a woman, staff dressed in the Woof Meow Friendship Park sweater. The man speaking in Kansai dialect played the fool's role, while the woman was in charge of retorts and punchlines... That seemed to be the setting.

After Haruaki responded with a stiff smile of courtesy, the hostess swiftly went through the rules, presumably realizing that the topic of conversation could not be continued. For the next part, questions were going to be asked about the two of them as a couple, scoring whenever their answers matched. In other words, this was a contest that tested how well they understood each other&mdash;

"Excuse me, may I say something?"

"Yes, the pretty girlfriend here&mdash;! Please go ahead!"

"We only started dating recently... More precisely, we are having our first date here today. If you would be so kind as to go slightly easy on us, it'd be lovely. But... I suppose... That's not possible, is it?"

Smiling naturally, Shiraho raised her hand, speaking with a demure aura. What perfect acting skills&mdash;Oh right, Shiraho used to be a promising actress lauded as a prodigy.

Most likely, her acting worked&mdash;

"Oh my~ ...It can't be helped! There's no helping it if such a pretty lady asks me for a favor! Well then, I promise you with my personal jurisdiction! I'm sorry, that's the way men are!"

The host lowered his head and bowed, resulting in wry laughter all around. Amidst the awkward laughs, there was booing that probably came from other contestants who had taken stage already. Fortunately, the booing was not really that malicious.

"This counts as thanks to the two of you for choosing our park as the venue for your first date! A little bit of favorable treatment! Then more specifically... Uh, we'll give some hints!"

"That's right~ I've no idea if the hints might be useful or not, but anyway, let's hope the two of you will have lots of fun before you leave! Will that be okay?"

"Yes, thank you very much. If possible, please offer hints that are easy to understand, ehehe."

Oh my god, to think that Shiraho is giggling ehehe! Haruaki stared in wide-eyed shock as though he had seen something astonishing. In the next instant, while maintaining her demure smile, Shiraho used the space under the desk to deliver a corkscrew blow to the flank of Haruaki's abdomen, unnoticed by everyone else.

"Ooph!"

"Oh my, this boyfriend just suddenly straightened his back with a weird grunt. Are you making a show of your determination? Or are you getting too excited from seeing your girlfriend's smile!? Well then, there comes the first question!"

The staff moved the partition between the desks, blocking Haruaki's view of Shiraho and vice versa. Then immediately, a "ding♪" was played, the kind of sound effect often heard on game shows.

"First question! 'What is the boyfriend's favorite food?' Okay, please answer~!"

Haruaki reflexively picked up his marker&mdash;Then stopped. To be asked this question suddenly, what a quandary. To be honest, he was the kind of person who always felt happy and went "How delicious~" no matter what he was eating. There was no particular food or ingredient that he would eat or cook especially frequently. But something must be written. Write something random? No, it must be something that Shiraho could guess. What would be relatively easier for Shiraho to guess?

"Okay, neither side has written anything yet~ If one person writes down an answer first, we'll be able to give a hint!"

"Hmm..."

Given no choice, Haruaki wrote down two words: "rice crackers." Shiraho might not know what he liked but surely she must know that Fear's favorite food at least. Given that they were living under the same roof, it would be natural to eat rice crackers together often&mdash;If only she could think that&mdash;

Haruaki held up his whiteboard and the hosts responded one after the other.

"Oh, the boyfriend has answered! Truly stylish! As for the hint, it's something with a very crunchy texture!"

"And it's basically brown in color!"

"Oh, wouldn't this be hinting too much... But then again, it's just the first question after all! Then I guess I should offer an extra hint as a special favor&mdash;This thing can fly! Woosh!"

"Yes, a bit of a stupid hint has appeared. But speaking of flying... It does fly indeed. Just as a matter of appearances! Oh, the girlfriend is beginning to write now! I knew it, the given hints are too easy!?"

Signaled by "time's up," the writing sounds from the other side of the partition also stopped.

"Then let's remove the partition for confirmation~! Okay okay, are these two's hearts linked as one!? Although they only started going out, as long as there's love, all obstacles can be overcome! Then let's reveal the answer here! So anyway, please read out your answers! Here we go, the reveal~..."

While the partition was being moved away, Haruaki turned his whiteboard lightly towards Shiraho then read out his answer. Likewise, Shiraho turned her whiteboard towards him. For an instant, Haruaki saw a slightly troubled frown on her face. Then&mdash;

"Rice crackers!"

"Ci... Cicada...?"

Silence.

Speechlessness. Hush. Dead air.

After lasting a full duration of many seconds&mdash;

"Puha... W-What a shame, a wrong guess&mdash;!"

"Uhahaha! Is this girlfriend an airhead? Or is she acting the fool on purpose for comedy?"

The stage was instantly dominated by bursts of laughter. Shiraho went red in the face for a rare moment. Haruaki whispered in her ear:

"Come on... How could it possibly be cicadas!?"

"S-Shut up, human! The favorite food of a perverted organism like you, is crunchy, brown and can fly... What else is there apart from cicadas!?"

"The hostess already said clearly that flying is a stupid hint for the sake of appearances!"

"Q-Quiet, or I'll kill you. You should have written something more easy to understand! And that's clearly the silver hair's favorite food!"

"It's the answer I decided after much thinking to make it easier for you to associate...!"

"Uh~ The two of them seem to be whispering lovingly to each other. So, this girlfriend here, how are you feeling? Could it be that you're nervous?"

The host handed the microphone over. Shiraho instantly faked a smile and answered:

"Y-Yes, a little."

"I knew it, cicadas couldn't possibly have been right."

"Indeed, cicada season is clearly summer. I guess I got a little confused about the season."

"So it's an issue of season!?"

The audience went into an uproar as numerous stares were directed towards Haruaki, seemingly saying: "Could it be that this guy really eats insects...?" No no no, I beg you, everyone, please don't mistake this for the truth.

Stop saying things that'll cause misunderstandings&mdash;Haruaki cast a gaze of protest towards Shiraho beside him but she continued to wear a natural smile on her face. It was anyone's guess whether she was joking on purpose, scrambling for responses in desperation or simply trying to insult him.

"O-Okay, then get ready for the second question! We'll reflect a bit and give fewer hints. Let's go!"

Ding♪

"&mdash;'What's an activity that the boyfriend does daily?' Okay, please answer!"

This was even easier to guess than the previous question. Surely, Shiraho must know as well.

Holding the marker, Haruaki quickly wrote down "cooking" on the whiteboard. This could be described as his one and only hobby.

"This time, the boyfriend wrote the answer without hesitation at all! Lemme see, the hint is that it's done by hand!"

"Yes, it's something that all men do every day! Ohoh, I see now. This boyfriend here, despite your honest-looking face, who would have thought... Truly, people cannot be judged by appearances..."

"On the other hand, I think that's exactly the kind of impression he gives off~! Oh, time's up&mdash;!"

Just as before, the partition started moving on command. Please, get this question right at least! Haruaki prayed while turning his whiteboard towards Shiraho. Then he noticed that Shiraho was sneering in confidence unlike the last time. Finally, they were going to score a point&mdash;

"Cooking!"

"Stealing underwear!"

...

......

It was just like last time. No, longer than last time.

Time stopped for quite a while before the audience went into a clamor again.

Shiraho was frowning as though going "How odd, why did I get it wrong again?" Haruaki approached her ear again.

"Hey! Why did you write this kind of answer with full confidence!? I can't believe you were chuckling with a sneer!"

"I did not reach the level of full confidence. Because until the last moment, I was still hesitating whether it should be 'peeking on people bathing' instead... After all, these are things that boys might do every day, possibly coming in handy, yes? How depraved and shameless."

"No normal person will write down this kind of answer without hesitation, okay...!?"

"I actually hold you in rather high regard. In terms of the ability to undertake shameless and perverted actions that no ordinary human could fully comprehend. That is why I was thinking, perhaps you might intend to confess your sexual crimes openly right here, thereby deriving a twisted pleasure from the public's eyes of scorn... Indeed, this is what I mentioned earlier, the fact of criminal rationality. Have you forgotten?"

"Gah! To think you could display that whiteboard under such serious conditions, that means you really believe that I'm that kind of person... I'm really a bit shocked to confirm this once again. One day, I must clear up your misunderstanding...!"

"Stop talking rubbish, the next question is up! At least get one right, human! I totally cannot see any effort on your part to cooperate with me. Show more cooperation!"

Haruaki could not help but sigh. On the contrary, he thought he was trying his best to cooperate already.

"Uh... I'm starting to discover that this is a couple that has many outrageous things worth pointing out... A-Anyway, there's not much time left so let's get on with the third question!"

"Yeah! I agree that we shouldn't pry too deep either!"

Ding♪

"Third question! Yes! This is quite a cruel question&mdash;'What's one thing about the boyfriend that's annoying?'"

"Ohoh! The girlfriend has suddenly started to write the answer rapidly without any hints! Then realizing that, the boyfriend has started to write as well&mdash;!"

Haruaki did not want to write. Honestly, he did not want to write the answer down at all. However, he had no choice.

Frowning while enduring the pain in his heart, Haruaki wrote those words down on the whiteboard.

"Okay, time for the reveal! Both sides' answers are&mdash;"

Ta da!

"Guh... P-Perverted..."

"Being a pervert!"

Shiraho, stop, don't announce it so loudly. Don't hold the whiteboard up with that kind of "Score!" expression. It's wrong, I simply abandoned my pride for the sake of scoring, but in actual fact, absolutely&mdash;

"Uwah~! I can't believe they got this one right!"

"I-I can't believe how this kind of answer matched... What an astonishing couple! Looks like these two are tied together by bonds that far surpass the realm of our common sense&mdash;!"

Facing the boyfriend who allegedly liked to eat cicadas, stole underwear on a daily basis and forced perverted behavior upon his girlfriend&mdash;

Naturally, the audience whispered intently among themselves while casting extremely cold gazes of derision.