Editing Kämpfer:Volume 1 Chapter 3 (section)

===Good Advice===
When other boys at school all say '' 'we have all been on dates with girls.' '' I'm not included in the '' 'we.' ''

I barely know two girls at school.  I live within walking distance to school, so I never share a bus with girls.  Other than the previous day when I walked to school with Sakura-san, I always walk alone.  I rarely get a chance to meet girls from school.

It's understandable; I'm not proud to say, but I've never dated.  To suddenly be dating Sakura Kaede was like a gift from heaven.  I would be overjoyed if it weren't for the complicated situation.

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I decided to develop strategies preparing for the date.  I couldn't afford to ask Hagashida for advice.  I had a limited idea of what staying as a Kämpfer for an extended time would involve.  Akane was my only choice to rely on.

I went to the library and bowed deeply in front of Akane.

"uh... yes?..."

After I explained the situation to Akane she was clearly bewildered.

"Oh... you're asking me?..."

"You're the only one that I can depend on."

"But things like that... I... I will..."

"Please, please." I repeatedly bowed like that vintage Drinking Bird toy.

We agreed to have an emergency meeting at my house.  Akane was frightened, "I'm... going to a man's house... it's my first time."  I had to convince her that it was fine, but I was desperate.  That's how we ended up face-to-face in my bedroom.

"Sakura-san... she... thinks Natsuru-san is cool, right?"

Akane said holding a tea cup with both hands.  I may have made the tea lazily, and even though it was such a strange topic, I had to sit properly.

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"But, it doesn't seem likely..."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Uh?"

"Go ahead..."

"Oh, isn't it... I wonder... a kind of confession?"

Of course, I had never been confessed to by a girl before; let alone a girl like Sakura-san.  If it were true, and if it were directed to me as a man,  would have a heart attack.  This was going to give me a heart attack in a different sense.

"Akane-chan, you're saying a girl falling in love with another girl?"

"Well..." she said in a dismissive way.

It was strange, every time I brought up Sakura-san, Akane got in a bad mood.  I was starting to wonder if she didn't like Sakura-san.

"I'm inexperienced... I don't really understand love..."

Rather than being apologetic, she sounded more irritated.  Again, it seemed like she may hate Sakura-san.  I'll have to fix that, when a good chance comes up I'll tell her all the virtues of Sakura-san.

I took a piece of rice cracker.  Akane's just jealous because she doesn't have someone special.  She's such a nice delicate girl.  I'm amazed that she becomes so violent and crude when she transforms.

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"I think he should date her," came not from Akane, but Harakiri-tora.  "You'll be the envy of the entire school, she's very popular.  You should date."

"Oh, yeah he'll do just fine," said another voice.  "There's no rule against Kämpfer dating other women.  The moderator will sure be surprised - ahahahahaha!"

The wild laughing was coming from another stuffed animal.  It was Seppuku Kuro Usagi that Akane had brought.

Another masterpiece of the Entrails Animal series; a black rabbit with a seppuku dagger stuck into its abdomen.  One detail was her deeply bloodshot eyes.  Young children seeing her in the toy department would cry without fail.  It was no wonder that it didn't sell all that well.

As soon as they had arrived, Seppuku Kuro Usagi started swearing '' 'so this is the dork's house.' '' Followed by, '' 'no wonder he's an asshole.' ''  Akane had said, '' 'because I was nervous coming alone I brought her instead of a bodyguard.' ''  She had the fighting talk of a bodyguard mastered.  She and Harakiri-tora hit it off like old friends, talking and laughing.  I guess there's a sense of camaraderie among the stuffed animals.

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The toy rolled around beating the floor with her short forefoot; glaring at me through one eye while laughing.

"Truth is, I'm not really a woman!"

"Like hell!"

"It's my first date with a girl, even if my sex changes first..."

"...that's one way to date Kaede."

"I'm still me even if female!  It's complicated..."

An outsider's objective viewpoint would make things clear, being an involved party confused me.

"So, what happened with Sakura-san at the school?"

"Since I attend a different class, although in the boy's section... it seems she searched every girl's second grade classroom."

"And didn't find you..."

"Right."

"Masumi-chan... she's still searching, because that's the way she is... sounds like it's getting too conspicuous."

Masumi brays like a torn speaker when she yells.  It could be heard anywhere.

"So... what's the... decision on the date?" Akane's voice slowly brought me back to reality.

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"That's right, she said she would like to meet this upcoming Sunday."

"Are... you going?"

"Probably..." It wasn't possible for me to refuse Sakura-san.  It would be useless for me to try.

"Where are you going?..."

"I haven't decided yet."  I mean, I wonder if it's up to me to decide where to go.  "Usually the man decides where to go, right?"

"Or just leave it to Sakura-san." Harakiri-tora said while rubbing her chin.

She stood up, her face showing an idea had been formed.  "Why don't you just stand her up?"

"Idiot, because it would hurt Sakura-san."

"It's also a problem if she likes you."

"I like being liked by her.  That's not the problem."

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"I think Natsuru-san as a man isn't very interesting,"  said the hateful stuffed toy.

I wondered if Sakura-san was really homosexual.  Could someone so beautiful only be interested in other girls.  How could she have so many fans in the boy's section?  My delusion would not fade.

I would find out on Sunday.  "I don't have any choice but to meet her."

Akane brought up another valid point, "when you meet, what will you do? After all it's a date..."

I figured I'd put up ideas for a vote, "I wonder where we should go."

"Well..."

"Akane-chan, where should we go?"

"Eh..." Akane's cheeks turned bright red. "I... I..."

"For example, if Akane-chan was on a date, where would you like to go the most?"

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"Oh... for that I..."

Why did it feel like she was disappointed?  

She thought for a minute, "just the movies, or an amusement park..."

"Yeah, an amusement park sounds good."

"If it's just girls... just shopping is nice... but that's different."

That's true; I'd be a girl at the time so it would be a girl's night out.

"I expect you'd be safe shopping."

"Yeah, true."

"If you feel like dressing up even more," Harakiri-tora started to say unnecessary things.  "Temples and shrines would be good for a date."

Well, she and I are both high-school students, so we've both visited them during school trips.  Nevertheless, it greatly amused Seppuku Kuro Usagi.

"Since temples have graveyards, it'll be like a scary movie; '' 'Horror Temple.' ''  Yeah, that'll do just fine."  

Both stuffed toys enjoyed my difficulties.  Harakiri-tora joined in the deep laughter.

"Even without the graveyard it may be good.  Since it's an unpopular place to go you'll have less chance of being attacked."

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"Who would attack us?"

"The enemy Kämpfer.  If you start battling in a department store, you'll be putting others in danger also."

"Oh,..." it reminded me of the attack in the library by the mysterious enemy.  There's no guarantee that another attack wouldn't come at any time.  I'd also prefer keeping Sakura-san from getting involved again.

My head was throbbing.

"It's best to stay in open areas where you can watch for the enemy. Or where the enemy would stand out.  At least for this date."

"Kaede seems to like odd things, so taking her to a weird place should be fine," Seppuku Kuro Usagi added.

Harakiri-tora agreed and ran with it, "maybe a sewage treatment plant.  I wouldn't want to visit, but seeing it from afar..."

"A crematorium would be a good place to pass the time.  You may even see some spirits departing."

"Take a nap in a quarry; though it may be a rugged climb."

"Break into a building being demolished.  If you take a deep breath without a mask you can feel the asbestos."

These guys were getting on my nerves.  They didn't know when to stop.

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I grabbed them both, and without a word threw them into the closet and shut the door.  They continued complaining from inside, '' 'let us out now or you'll be sorry!' '' and '' 'Baka-baka!' ''  Those guys were never at a loss for words.

"I think I know what to do," I said to Akane.

"...you formed a plan?"

"Akane-chan, please come with us!"

"On your date!?"

"I still can't transform myself.  I'll need your help."

She hesitated; it was understandable, "isn't that... awkward... to have a third person?"

"I'm nervous that I'll change back unexpectedly.  Also, if we're attacked it would be better if you were there.  You can just follow from a distance."

"Like a guardian..."

"Exactly!"

Akane didn't answer, so I began imitating the Drinking Bird again.

I think my head was getting used to being in a bowing position.  Nah, that must just be my imagination.

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