Editing Cute Kunoichis:Volume1 Chapter3 (section)

===8: Handmade Diversionary Tactics===

There was an etiquette to faking your own death. The most important rule was to prevent anyone from confirming the presence of a corpse until your objective was complete.

If this was an oceanside cliff or a volcanic crater, he would only have to jump in…or throw in a doll disguised as him. But the corpse would not disappear after jumping from a building rooftop. They would quickly check the surface and discover it was a lie.

Which meant…

(I need something that blows up the entire rooftop. It needs to be as flashy as possible. I’m a bit worried on the intelligence front since I’ve been away from those twins, but whether or not I’m going to return to them later on, I need to sow confusion right now.)

Modern buildings had industrial air conditioning units, power transformers, and water heaters installed on the roof. If they shoved all that in the basement, the building would burn from the bottom up if something malfunctioned and no one inside could escape, but if the fire started at the top, the number of casualties would be greatly reduced. That meant he only had to tamper with the gas pipes a little to give him what he wanted.

The problem was explaining who had blown him up and why. Needless to say, he would be framing them for a crime they did not commit.

He had caused enough trouble for Kuhou Ouka’s group already with the nonexistent sniper story, so he did not want to make it even worse. If he took it too far, it could rob his students a chance at returning to their positions as Elite Ninjas.

That meant he had to prepare a different candidate.

(Dammit, I guess I’ll have to get ''their'' help with this.)

Some frustration entered his emotions, but his rational mind made a quick decision.

The metal pipe leading to the industrial water heater did not have any kind of valve, so he was forced to pull out a Fierce Fang and stab the tip in to create a small hole. He did not even need to pry it open with the nitrogen. He heard an ominous whistling sound and a unique stench reached his nose. He could sense it clearly even through the scarf.

(This uses city gas instead of propane, so it’s lighter than air. I’ll need to cover it with a sheet or something to gather up enough gas.)

While making that assessment, he spotted a small plastic greenhouse for a home garden on one corner of the roof.

That was when someone else arrived.

The entire rooftop seemed to shake from the weight of all that armor forming a silhouette more like a carnivorous dinosaur than a human.

The standard army grade samurai armor could not fly, but it also looked too large to have fit through the doors all the way up here.

That left just one option.

“Did you use your precious artificial muscles to climb the wall? Not that that means a thing about your own muscles.”

“I don’t care who I’m up against; I just want to get some exercise and fight a real fight. I’m only willing to put up with all these pain-in-the-ass odd jobs if I get a firefight afterwards as a reward.”

The monster with a samurai family crest emblazoned on his chest spoke with a creaking from his giant jaws.

“So what the hell’s all this? I don’t see any sign of the rumored sniper firing on us and I’m detecting the scent of an unnatural gas. …Should I assume this means you’re my reward? As a paper target, I mean.”

Sugiyado Souha did not respond.

More than that, he was honestly relieved. If Guren or Suiren had shown up first, he could not have looked them in the eye.

If he was spotted, he had to do this.

That much was certain.

The worst possible version of that would have been if he had been forced to silence one of those innocent twins.

So.

As long as that was not the case…

“Oh?”

The armored samurai finally noticed something was amiss. His datalink to the other samurai had been silently severed.

There was no need to hide it now.

Sugiyado Souha slowly reached to his back and pulled an air-pressure kunai from below his untucked short-sleeved dress shirt.

There was no need for fear.

Ninjas never played fair. They were generally ordered to find a solution when all hope seemed lost. Their techniques had been polished to the point of earning the name Strategic Martial Arts and they were designed to be used in a dire situation. He found himself in such a situation now and that was the only thing on his mind as he faced that great mass of military weaponry.

“A smokescreen full of metal powder, huh? Scattering aluminum powder to cut off my communications counts as throwing down the gauntlet, right? Were you hoping for a one-on-one duel?”

“If you’re going to name yourself, then hurry it up. I’ll go along with it, but I see no value in that tradition.”

“Hah! I have no name so worthless I’d give it to a lowly gofer like you. Besides, what’s even the point of a male ninja?”

“…?”

“The shogunate takes ‘golden’ kids, poor kids, and kids with certain connections and trains them, but those kunoichis are never worth keeping around in battle. But I do think I can see why those perverts at the top are willing to invest so much money into them.”

“…”

A clear change came over the type of silence coming from Sugiyado.

But the soul protected by thick armor and great firepower failed to notice.

“I mean, they’re creating a bunch of professional ‘women’ who’ve had all proof of citizenship erased. I’d love to know how they’re being trained and what they can do for you with that training! Gya ha, gya ha ha!! Come to think of it, you instructed some of them, didn’t you? Did you get to try them out ahead of everyone else!? How was it? I bet you’re glad you get a taste before they’re all wrapped up and sent to the higher ups! Gya ha, gya ha ha ha ha!!”

The samurai’s crude laughter continued without end, but then he heard something odd.

The dried lips in front of him had moved to form certain words.

“Yes. I am glad.”

That berserker, who had lost his human form inside that thick armor, must not have known what those words meant even in the very end.

Sugiyado Souha’s brain felt like it was on fire, so the words slipped out of him.

“I am so glad you aren’t a good person. Now I can silence you without feeling any guilt whatsoever.”