Editing .Hack//ZERO ME:1061 (section)

==ME:1061==

The sound of birds chirping echoed in the back of my head.

It was an invitation from Alph, but it had an oddly forceful message attached.

I was so frustrated that I hit ‘ACCEPT’ on impulse without really thinking about it.

Then I immediately warped to Lia Fail via the Chaos Gate.

A ruined city hidden deep within a dense tropical forest. Every now and then, the sounds of birds and other animals could be heard beyond the trees, and the sky was dark with storm clouds.

Alph was easily recognizable in her strawberry milk colored outfit. Even more so because she was jumping up and down for me.

But I came to a stop a few meters away from her.

Alph wasn’t alone.

A Blademaster decked out entirely in silver-white armor stood behind her.

“Yoo-hoo!”

Alph’s cheerful voice was as loud as ever.

But the fact that the Blademaster was standing made the tension feel twice as high as usual.

When I didn’t move from my position, Alph shouted as if she was in a hurry.

“Come on, come on! You don’t have to be nervous.”

Who was nervous? I was just sick and tired of all this nonsense.

“Let me introduce you, Carl.”

Alph was practically bursting with excitement as she approached. She was so proud, so boastful, so freaking superior.

“This is Sieg. He came third in the ''Statue of the God of Time'' event.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

The armored Blademaster smiled graciously and held out his right hand to me.

It seemed like such a rehearsed gesture; I ignored it completely.

I guess Alph thought I would volunteer my own introduction, but I kept quiet, and Alph rushed to fill the silence.

“And this is Carl. She’s a witness to the ghost incident.”

“Alph told me about that. I heard it was hard on you.”

“What was?”

I asked bluntly.

“Huh……?”

The Blademaster named Sieg clammed up and cleared his throat. “Have you already given up your misconduct, then?”

I silently studied Sieg’s face.

When I wanted to, I could make someone uncomfortable with just a glance.

“I’m sorry. That was rather insensitive of me to say with other PCs around, wasn’t it?”

He glanced around and apologized for missing the point.

“Sieg is worried about you, too. It wouldn’t do any good if Carl got banned. Even you would feel sad if you couldn’t come to '''The World''' anymore, right?”

Alph placed a hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

I don’t mean to discourage you from playing that way.” Sieg’s smile widened. “But I think that freedom and responsibility are like two sides of the same coin. You can’t just have one without the other. It’s like with food – you wouldn’t want to just eat plain steak without the sauce or vice versa.”

“So what?”

I growled out a question.

“It’s all a question of degree. Do you understand what I mean by that?”

“No, I don’t understand.”

I answered coldly, and Sieg fell silent, looking uncomfortable.

“Carl, don’t be so pouty.” Alph interjected with an stern expression. She thought I was sulking. “It’s not like Sieg thinks Carl is dumb.”

“I hope I’m not overstepping too much.” Sieg shrugged his shoulders with a wry grin. “But well, since you were Alph’s friend, I thought that I might be able to help.”

I just stayed quiet.

“I don’t think she likes me. I’m not usually the preachy-type.”

“You’re not preachy at all. Carl is just being shy.”

Alph let out a big sigh of relief. It was an exaggerated, almost theatrical gesture.

“Can I go now?”

I couldn’t keep up with these antics anymore.

“Whaaa~!!?” Alph whined. “After coming this far?”

“Stop acting like we’re a couple!”

I shouted.

“Hold on a minute.” But then suddenly, Alph changed her tone of voice and grabbed my arm. “I know I was the one who called you out here, but… Carl, what kind of role are you trying to play at? What kind of character are you supposed to be?”

Alph’s gaze pierced right through me.

I wanted to make some kind of retort, but my lips wouldn’t move to form the words.

“If you want to hack and cheat, that’s fine by me. As long as that’s the kind of character you’re trying to play, I’m sure you’re prepared to pay any penalty if something goes wrong. That’s why you wouldn’t listen whenever I told you not to do it before, right? But you should be more consistent! I don’t want you to get in trouble if you’re not sure about it. Right now, you don’t look like a lone warrior, you just look like a kid.”

I tried to say something.

But Alph stopped me and continued her rant.

“I know we’re not a couple. That would be childish. Do you see? You’re just making an excuse to try and make the problem in front of you go away.” Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sieg’s eyes flickering between me and Alph. This was catching him off guard, too. “You act like this cool, misanthropic character, but it’s so obvious when something bothers you. It’s pathetic!”

“Wha…”

My voice trailed off.

“You probably think I’m annoying, too, from up on your high horse. Go ahead, look down on me. But at least be consistent about it! Don’t contradict yourself.” Alph fixed me with a cold glare from behind her glasses. “I really didn’t want to have to say all this. In that way, I guess I’m the same as you. But now… if I don’t say it now, you’ll just get the wrong idea again.”

There was none of the usual frivolity in Alph’s voice.

[[File:.Hack--ZERO v01 bw8.png|thumb]]

It seemed that the usual, overly friendly, and energetic Alph was performing what she would refer to as a full-blown character break.

“If you’re going to play the villain, then you have to commit to it. You have to know what you’re doing, and be smart about it! That’s why I don’t do it; I don’t want to spend that much effort in a game. But you chose to do that, didn’t you?”

Alph placed her hands on her hips and raised her shoulders.

“Grumpily asking ‘can I go now’ and saying I ‘act like we’re a couple’ – what kind of cliché line is that? You’re acting like a spoiled child. Is that what you want to be?”

“Alph? I think that’s enough…”

Sieg called out in complete shock.

“I’m sorry, Sieg.” Alph apologized sincerely. “I didn’t mean to show you this side of me, but I actually have a really short temper.”

“So it would seem.”

Sieg gave a mollifying laugh.

But Alph didn’t take back the things she had said, so his laughter trickled down and faded away. Then Sieg turned his head to the side as a look of uncertainty came across his face.

“What do you…… Just what is it you want from me?”

I finally got the words out.

“Nothing. I’m not expecting anything from you. You don’t like it when people want things from you, right? All I want is for you to be more self-aware. Aware of the shadow that you cast.”

“And you’re saying you’re aware of yours?”

I tried to beat her back as best I could.

“Yes, I am.”

But Alph would not be intimidated. Instead, she puffed her chest out to show her confidence.

Her tone was much more mature than usual – she was probably imitating her mother – but it was too convincing to be considered false bravado.

“I can see myself – front and back – both online and in real life.”

Her eyes shone with a strong light, and her voice held unwavering conviction.

In the face of that, I couldn’t think of a single thing to say in retort, so I just stayed silent.

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