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Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume6 Chapter5 3
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===<noinclude>The Crimson Card. </noinclude>Part 3.=== When I next met Sachiko-san, I had the strange impression that she was just like how I thought she would be, and also completely different to how I imagined her. On the outside, she appeared just the same as in kindergarten. Although as she approached adulthood, her beauty seemed even more pronounced. Her personality didn't seem to have changed much either. She was still her usual anti-social self, not laughing along with the rest of the class, and her severity that easily kept everyone at bay was still there. Given that, the cause of my surprise was entirely due to my own wrong assumptions. While I was away, I had morphed my mental image of Sachiko-san into that of my ideal woman. I had expected that her sharp parts would soften, that her maturity would give birth to tenderness and that she would become a gentle and elegant lady like the Virgin Mary. But people don't change that easily. Or maybe they do. "Were we in the same class before?" When I saw her in the classroom and called out to her, with a single sentence she shattered and blew away my ten years of imagination. She didn't remember. Of course, I didn't have the sort of physical appearance that you'd take one look at and never forget, and other than the swing incident I hadn't done anything to stand out during kindergarten. Nonetheless, I hadn't even considered that she would have forgotten me. I thought there must have been something that made my short, 140cm tall self stand out from the rest of the students. At any rate, I had to start from scratch and once more build up a relationship with Sachiko-san. But because my initial attempt at a reunion was crushed, I found it hard to be proactive. Once more, it felt like there wasn't a single gap in her armor that would allow me to get close to her. Pitifully, the only things I could say to her were formalities like 'Gokigenyou,' or 'Please pass the printouts to the back.' Before long, the seating order was changed and the number of words we exchanged dropped dramatically. Then Sachiko-san was chosen to be Rosa Chinensis en bouton's petit soeur and she drifted further and further away. We had come full circle. I spent my time watching Sachiko-san. The ties of our relationship from ten years ago weren't strong enough to build a new relationship on top of. It had been an illusion. That the Sachiko-san that waved to me from the bus had felt a spark of friendship was probably my imagination. I had thought that if I hadn't had to move away and had spent the next day with her, and then the next, that we would definitely have become good friends. But Sachiko-san probably didn't see it that way. While I chased after the grown-up version of the kindergartener Sachiko-san, the days passed by. Because of my inconspicuous presence I was able to get along well with most of my classmates. There were interesting lessons and boring lessons, but overall it was enjoyable. I didn't join any clubs, nor were there any older students I was particularly close with, so it was only natural that I didn't find an onee-sama. But, I didn't really want one either. My thoughts have never turned to the older students. When we started the second semester in the new year, one of our classmates was no longer with us. She didn't say goodbye, but when the winter break was over her desk was no longer in the classroom. People's impression of her ranged from 'a conspicuous presence' to 'someone with no presence whatsoever.' I lent more to the latter and, because I hadn't been too interested in her, only learnt that she had been close with Rosa Gigantea en bouton after she had transferred. Before my very eyes, someone had disappeared. In the beginning she would come up in conversation, but as we were swept along by our busy everyday life it wasn't long until she was completely forgotten. This time I was standing on the side of those left behind and I felt that keenly.
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