Editing Shiinamachi-senpai's Safe Day:Volume 1 Interlude (section)

==Interlude==

■Boundary between Dreams and Hearts

In a haze, I dreamed that I was drifting in the darkness.

It was very easy to have this kind of dream when losing consciousness in an utterly exhausted state. In other words, there were two possibilities right now: either I was sleeping really soundly or I had died completely. However, I remember I had already become immortal so the chances of the latter…

That's right. The only possibility was that I had met the death of my mind.

Code: Calvariæ was the emblem of death passed down my family.

It was a power dormant in the blood that was able to raise bodily capabilities and functions to their maximum and allowed the mind to perceive and react to speeds beyond what human intelligence could understand. When invoking this power, in order to make the body make decisions and process information with the fastest possible speed, any mental consciousness was erased to avoid interference.

In other words, emotions and reminiscing were all erased.

Memories were turned into pure information, existing only to make everything more efficient.

Precisely because of that, I was drifting in this afterlife right now.

No helping it. Even if my body resurrected completely, without a soul, it would be no different from a doll. However, After I became like this… If my sister, friends and my beloved Senpai were willing to spend time with me, perhaps this body might be able to give birth to a new personality once more.

Hopefully, everything will turn out as I wish.

While thinking over these tragic things, I floated in the darkness.

Even if that was no longer me, at least it could turn into a brand new someone.

A personality and consciousness different from the previously cultivated "Sakuradamon Jirou".

I was already prepared at the time, knowing this would really result, and I still did it.

Senpai, Shiki, Kuhou, Fujisato.

After I did it, if this body could spend its future days with them together, that would be nice.

Hence, it was enough and this consciousness can be sealed away.

Feeling contented and lonely in the darkness, I prepared to closed my eyes at the same time.

"--Jirou…"

At this moment, suddenly, I felt like I was hearing my mother's voice somewhere.

Hearing the voice of the mother who was already gone, I immediately focused my awareness towards the source of the sound.

"Oh…"

Over there, I clearly saw a woman standing in the darkness--

Mother.

Straight black hair, a petite and slender body, white uniform.

Judging from appearances, she was clearly middle or maybe high school age.

However, her sharp gaze did not show anything child-like about them.

That's my mother--Sakuradamon Yuuto.

Most likely a fake name. Age was probably faked too.

Although my mother and I belonged to the same family, it was possible that she was not my real mother at all.

That's the kind of woman she was.

"Mother, hello again."

I spoke up but my mother only threw me a cold gaze.

"How dare you shamelessly call me mother at this time?"

She suddenly made a declaration of refusing to acknowledge me.

But it shouldn't be wrong! Ever since my early childhood, she told me "try calling me mother." Henceforth, that's how I've always addressed her.

"Oh right, that person over there."

Not only that, she was addressing me in an extremely distant manner.

"You sure activated Calvariæ rather readily."

"Uh…"

"Didn't I tell you? It's the last resort, once you use it, your mind will disintegrate."

"Yes, you did tell me, Mother. But under those circumstances…"

"You're still looking for excuses? Then you might as well give me money."

"Ehhhh!?"

"I've really had enough."

Seeing my mother scowling and throwing these words at me, I couldn't find any words to refute her on the spot. I simply puzzled my mind, trying to think how to explain the situation and clear it up. In the end, my mother sighed and said:

"Sigh, Monjirou, you'd look really shameful if you died."

"Huh?"

Although I knew these words came from a certain video game, it really would be extremely shameful, so I couldn't retort back in any way.

"Monjirou, once you use Calvariæ, your mind turns into a killing machine. You should know that… Having done that, the 'soul' your sister worked hard to cultivate won't return anymore. You absolute moron."

"Yeah, I know that of course, but…"

Did she just nonchalantly scold me for being a moron in the middle of her lecture?

But even if she was scolding me, I couldn't do anything but simply keep my head bowed.

"Shiinamachi Kaguya, Yatono Shiki, Fujisato Yuika, Kuhou Nagi. You wish for them all to live happily and peacefully once again. That's why you used that power, didn't you? Moron."

"…Yes, Mother. You're correct."

Moron should be a word for scolding someone stupid, right? But at the moment, I was more concerned about other things. Was this entity that had come all the way here to scold me actually an illusion of my mother? Or consciousness? I really felt quite intrigued about this point. If this was all a dream, it would have been far too coincidental.

"For the sake of their smiles, you decided it was fine to sacrifice yourself. If that's really your conclusion, then you are not fit to be my son. You are just a glasses-wearing geek."

This was probably another term for scolding me? But this term was quite unfavorable from the perspective of certain people, so I couldn't make any retort either.

"Monjirou, pay very good attention here."

I can't believe even my own mother was calling me with that nickname.

"Monjirou, are you actually listening to me?"

"Yes…"

If I don't hurry and respond, she'll probably keep calling me like that, so I had not choice but to reply feebly.

Then my mother strolled right up to me in a swaggering manner.

Smack!

She suddenly reached out and slapped me a good one.

"…Mother…?"

Even though it was currently a dream--

This slap seemed to elicit intense pain from the depths of my head… all the way into the very bones.

"Men have this poor habit, always thinking that self-sacrifice is cool. If you wish for everyone to be happy, then you have to make sure you obtain happiness as well. After sacrificed yourself, do you think Shiinamachi Kaguya can smile anymore? To prevent you from doing that, Yatono Shiki fought desperately to defeat Kuhou Nagi, do you think she'll be happy? Fujisato Yuika admitted defeat with relief, thinking that everyone could spend their days happily together as long as she lost to you. If she knew that your soul was dead, do you think she can laugh anymore?"

Compared to the pain of the slap, my mother's words caused intense pain in my "soul".

In the past, although my mother had taught me various techniques and ways of thinking of assassins, she also forbid me from using everything I had learned. This must be why… She was so angry right now.

"You are forbidden from uttering those words, dormant in blood, ever again."

Throwing these words at me quietly, my mother then turned her back to me.

"Monjirou, does your chest hurt, is there any pain?"

"…It hurts a lot."

I heard her question from behind and nodded honestly.

I understood. I've always kept myself detached, thinking that the world would still continue to turn even without me. However, I was wrong.

"Since it hurts, then you must embrace that pain forever--And live on, properly."

Thud, thud… My mother's footsteps echoed as she departed in the empty space.

That sound lingered in the depths of my ear--Something was flowing from my heart to my eyes.

"Jirou, this is the true meaning of being alive."

"Mother…"

I cried out in the darkness while her silhouette grew more and more blurry.

Her appearance clearly looked even younger than mine. Her face was so cute and dainty.

But the image of her back, her words, everything indicated she was a "mother".

"Mother, thank you…"

Hence, I couldn't help but whisper.

I will do that--Once I wake up again.

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