Editing KSGU:Volume 6 Chapter 3 (section)

===08.47===

“…I do not remember tying you and bringing you up here. Logically, you could have chosen not to wear that pilot suit. The reason why you thought that this shouldn’t happen is because you lack imagination.”

The “Shamblo” was flashing on the monitor in the background, and Zinnerman said this as he turned his back on it, the gun and his stare remaining unmoved. Those were the eyes of someone who had killed someone before, the same eyes he had when they first met—stone black emotionless eyes that were devoid of expression. He felt that it was a lame argument, and as he was about to trip over, he eked out words from his trembling voice, “Did you predict this before it happened, captain?” Zinnerman answered, “That’s what it means to suppress the city.” His voice echoed through the cramped bridge of the “Garencieres”.

“Is suppressing just to attack unnecessary places and trample on those escaping!? This can’t even be considered a war! It’s just a venting of hatred…!”

The black eyes that were reminiscent of black Go stones shuddered slightly, and the mouth that was covered by the thick and hard beard showed signs of being speechless. Banagher recalled, ''That’s right. This man never squeezed the trigger when he first pointed the gun at me. He just said “Leave the kid alone” and didn’t do anything else before he left.''

The other man was not someone who could not empathize with him. His heart was wailing too. “Captain, please tell them to stop.” Banagher pressed on as he took one step closer to Zinnerman.''

“You too know that man, Mahdi, he’s not normal. If this keeps up, Dakar will really be destroyed completely.”

Banagher stared at his wavering eyes , and took another step to close his distance with the gun. Zinnerman sat on the captain’s seat, not budging at all.

“You should be able to see the world more clearly than someone like him, right? If you want to say that this is war, why did you bring me to the desert? Why do you want to save Miss Marida? She’s calling you master not because she’s a Cyber-Newtype, captain. Her soul was saved by you, just like me, so that’s why she—”

“SHUT UP!”

A blunt impact hit Banagher on the face, and his body flew out and slammed into the wall. Banagher could not fall as the bridge was too cramped, and as he ended up sitting on his backside, he saw Zinnerman standing furiously, away from the focus of his vision.

“Don’t talk as if you know everything. I was concerned about you because you’re the key to getting the “Box”. Besides, it’ll be more convenient for the future if I pull you here.”

The voice of the words the other man said echoed in Banagher’s brain that rang endlessly. ''You’re lying.'' Just when Banagher was about to let out this voice, it melted within his mouth, and he turned to look at Flaste on the navigation seat. Flaste sensed some awkwardness as their eyes met, and did not say anything as he looked in front again.

“You just said that this isn’t war, huh? Open your eyes and look carefully. This is what happens during a war. There’s no philosophy, no reputations, no pride. All it has are people killing others and people being killed.”

Zinnerman grabbed the collar of the pilot suit as he forcefully pulled Banagher up and slammed him onto the console. Banagher put his hands on the monitor, saw the black flames swirling in the air, and could not help but look away.

“It’s considered a good thing to kill off someone immediately like that. There are people who died in more cruel ways, who were tortured when they were alive, until their deaths. What’s wrong about unleashing our rage? Our war hasn’t ended in the first place.”

“This reasoning…is no different from the Federation army that razed the Zeon towns!”

Zinnerman stumbled in his words, but Banagher did not have the time to observe the other man’s expression. Another flying punch flew right at his face, and he ended up falling on his backside for a second time. His slightly concussed brain was ringing, and a strand of snot dripped onto this floor. This seemingly became an opportunity as he felt the heat sensation in his body fading off, and his lower body that wanted to stand up lost its strength. Banagher did not even have to look at Zinnerman, who stood dumbfounded, and the blood droplets that were mixed with saliva dripped down his lowered face.

He lacked imagination, and he had no answer to that. There would be deaths when suppressing. He lacked this sense of surreal in his heart, but he managed to make it all the way to this point—''No, that’s not it. 100 people dying is too many, but it can’t be helped if 10 people dies.'' Banagher had this thought somewhere in his heart, and allowed himself to be part of the situation. ''This is to identify the true identity of the “Box”, this is to fulfill the responsibility I have to do;'' he was ready to say these words in his heart, but he ended up viewing things from his own perspective, and took action as a result.

However, Zinnerman was different. He knew right from the beginning that it would end up like this. He joined this operation under this premise, and at this point, he still wanted to fulfill the role he was assigned. Even if the operation was overboard in some aspects, it was the responsibility of the Neo Zeon higher ups, who accept the proposal from Mahdi, and he had no need to be criticized. The military was an organization that ran in such a way, and Zinnerman was a soldier right down to the core. Banagher understood that he saved the “Unicorn” and showed concern to him as part of his job. The fatherly affections he had for Marida was also to use her as a fighting strength. He endured hardships in a fallen military organization, harboring his hatred for the Federation in his heart. If there was a need, this man, who should not be underestimated, would become cold and cruel—but if that was the case, why was he so agitated? Why were his eyes, his words stabbing into his chest, and hurting him so painfully?

He kept saying that it was the truth, but in fact, he could not agree to it either. He stated those words that were not his true intent as his real thoughts, and kept torturing himself inside. He had to bear the responsibility as a soldier and the responsibility to take care of the “Garencieres” crew. If he did not bear them, he could not do anything, but once he bore the responsibilities on his soldiers, he would attach thoughts that did not match his heart onto himself, and would even have to kill off the voice inside him. He knew that this was a sad thing about humans. He could not feel comfortable with his heart that could not kill off the last glimmer within him—

“Those who are sad…live on with their lives to abandon that sadness…Those who can truly say such words in their hearts have the right to punch others. I’m willing to be punched by that kind of person.”

Banagher himself did not understand what was going on as his words came out from his mouth. He wiped away the trail of blood on his lips as he looked up at Zinnerman, who twitched his eyebrows.

Cardeas, Marida, Daguza and everyone on the “Nahel Argama” were the same. They were restrained by their past, limited by their organizations, but those people chose to leave their own wills as a mark thoroughly. It was because he accepted their support that he could remain here. As he supported himself off the wall, he let his staggering body stand up, clench his fists, stared at the other man, and said, “You don’t have the right to do that now.”

“If you want to punch someone, GO PUNCH YOURSELF!”

As he yelled out loud, Banagher used the momentum to swing his right fist. Zinnerman immediately dodged this attack, but his hulking body hit the console at the back, and as he looked like he was going to trip, Banagher immediately went forward to swing his left fist. The bearded face was immediately hit with an uppercut, “You brat…!” and Zinnerman growled as he swung the handgun grip down. However, Banagher used this opening to get into Zinnerman’s clutches and slammed his head into the other man’s belly with all his strength.

Zinnerman grunted as he dropped the gun from his hand and fell onto the floor on his backside, probably because he was hit in the solar plexus. Banagher immediately got onto the other man and started swinging his hurting fists onto the bearded face that was restrained on the floor.

“You’re just lying to yourself, as if you knew everything…! You understood very well that this is just a blatant massacre of innocents! It can’t make up for anything…!”

After taking 3 punches, Zinnerman was bleeding from his mouth as he suddenly widened his eyes. He grabbed the arm that was about to swing the 4th fist down, and yelled “YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING, BRAT!”. The bear-like arm strength easily lifted Banagher, and as Banagher was raised helplessly, Zinnerman used his sole to kick into the his stomach. He was sent flying behind, and the back of his head hit the floor hard.

“You want me to forgive the Federation? What kind of joke is that? Do you know how it’s like for someone who used to have a wife and a child? I can’t even exchange my own life for theirs, let alone the world! They’re unique gemstones in this world, the gemstones who taught me everything about the meaning of being born and living on! Do you know how I felt when they were tortured to death!?

I can’t even lie to myself here! I’m waiting for this moment. And I even want to help out there…!”

“But that’s why…! You can’t drag other people to hell just because you’ve seen hell yourself!!”

Banagher spit out the blood in his mouth as he stamped onto the floor and slammed himself into the other man. “You stubborn brat!” Zinnerman grabbed Banagher by the chest, who was then slammed to the war, but he started kicking at Zinnerman’s vitals wildly. Zinnerman held back from letting out a voiceless scream as his bruised face gradually filled Banagher’s sights. His large body fell backwards, and he was dragged down by Banagher as both of them tripped into the narrow space beside the captain’s seat.

Both of them were grabbing each other by the chest, restraining each other as they twisted and tumbled around on the floor. ''Do what you feel you have to do, continue saying “Even so”''. Banagher was driven by the words throbbing inside his body as he wanted to gnash at Zinnerman’s throat. “Flaste! Don’t just watch, hurry up and get this guy off me!” Zinnerman pushed Banagher’s chin away as he growled, and from the corner of his eyes, Banagher could see Alec frantically getting up from his seat. However—

“Sorry, I’m a little busy right now. Please try and figure out a way yourself.”

''Leave them alone.'' Flaste seemed like he was hinting to this as he said calmly while holding back Alec. “You…!?” Zinnerman growled as he lost his strength in his hands, and Banagher swung aside the hands that were choking him below. He slugged hard at the surprised bearded face with his fists, and got onto the hulking man who tried to sit up again. Zinnerman grabbed the armrest of the captain’s seat, and barely avoided falling backwards. He let out an ambiguous howl and reached his trunk-like thigh at the other person.

Banagher got kicked hard in the stomach as he took a counter, and his body flew 2m away and crashed hard into the wall. He could not breathe and could only open his mouth wide as he fell limp, sitting on the floor limply. Even though he wanted to get up, he could not exert strength in his legs, and his body was aching like his heart. He bent his body down as his shoulders were rising up and down, panting. Zinnerman’s round belly was huffing too, and his swollen face glanced at the ceiling.

The two people’s panting remained in the bridge, and the sound of the engine gradually swallowed it. Alec merely gave a short glance from behind the back of the chair, while Flaste did not bother to look over. Banagher was unable to tell which parts of his body were aching at this point as he stared right at Zinnerman in the airs and used his arms to forcefully support himself off the floor. He endured the sharp pain that was piercing through his skullcap and gradually leaned his back on the wall, “I don’t know…I really don’t know…” and allowed his trembling throat to let out a vague hoarse voice.

“The pain of having a wife and child killed…what’s right, what’s wrong…I don’t know at all…”

He could not argue back “even so”. He did not have the right to talk about others this way as he was unable to really understand others. As he understood this all too clearly, Banagher gritted his teeth and forced his numb knees to stand up. Zinnerman did not wipe away the blood on his lips as he turned his eyes, right under his swollen eyelids, at Banagher.

“However, it’s not right to stop my soul from feeling…just because I don’t know…just because there’re too many sad things.”

''This is a one and only cog that can make decisions on its own. Don’t lose it— We lived on to abandon our sadness.'' Banagher used these words his heart heard as his pillars of support as his feet stepped onto the floor again.

“I have a heart that can empathize with other people’s sadness, and I don’t want to forget about that. I want to be someone who can take the sadness…just like you, captain.”

Zinnerman widened his eyes, and their eyes met for less than a second. ''He might start shooting at me from behind the next moment. Is it good?'' Banagher reached for the switch button of the automatic door before he could answer his own question. He held his breath and walked out of the bridge.

He took in the external air that blew into the corridor, opened his eyes that were closed temporarily, exerted strength in his abdomen, and took a step forward. The sound of the automatic door closing rang, the stares on his back were blocked, and the only thing left was the corridor in front of him, dyed in red light. Zinnerman did not use the handgun; If he had minded about that, he could have shot Banagher whenever he could, but he did not do so. Was it because of the key to the “Box”? Banagher endured the questions that rose up his heart, accepted the reality as it happened, clenched his fists and ran out.

The “heat” that was growing from within his body was suppressing the throbbing pain and spread through the entire body. Once he passed through this dim corridor, he would be able to reach the mobile suit deck where the “Unicorn” awaited.