Editing KSGU:Volume 8 Chapter 3 (section)

===Part 21===

The “Rozen Zulu” grabbing onto Mineva remained unmoved as its monoeye looked around with a timid expression. Perhaps it was trying to look for him, but Angelo’s hotheaded state would make it impossible to find him. In contrast, Mineva was very calm, probably because she knew where he was. Even if he did not appear in her eyes, Mineva could have consciously discovered the despicable man who was hiding in this corner of the catwalk, observing the proceedings and giving a chiding look.

''The hallucination formed by grudges.''Zinnerman recalled the words that were left at his ears, and looked at the “Sinanju” through the handrail of the catwalk. It was just as what Mineva had said; no matter the true aim of Full Frontal, there was no soul of Char Aznable there. It was just as the man himself had said, he was the vessel of the Spacenoids’ will—a vessel that was meant to be injected with hatred. This was something he knew right from the beginning but even though he knew, he continued to help Frontal and joined the “Sleeves”. It was something he had to do; no matter whether Frontal was Char or a monster, nothing mattered as long as the military ranks could be reorganized again.

He was not dreaming for the revival of Zeon, and he was not fighting to earn the food for his subordinates. He just wanted to use something else to ease the pain, the pain of living on, the pain of having his grudges haunting him, the pain of being used as a living dump as he dealt with things more important than his life, the pain of struggling on. He could only continue on in order to forget the pain of his world being destroyed that could not be erased. As he continued to walk on, he finally made it here.

''What’s wrong about this? What else can I do?'' Zinnerman reached into his clutches, and took out a photo from a pocket he had never rummaged into. It was a photo of him before he embarked on his battles, when his skin still had shine, Fee who was standing beside him and smiling, Maree who was just past 5 years old. He looked at the photo he kept for countless years, and used his fingers to touch the face of his smiling daughter.

Maree’s little hands; whenever he returned home, she would run over to him with a beaming face, and whenever he was to rejoin the force, she would cry and stick to Fee. ''Now you’re asking me to work together with the guys who crushed that one and only warmth that inherited my bloodline? The one precious treasure I had in the world? Stop joking around. If the past can’t be changed, the present won’t change either. The possibility of reconciliation, Newtypes, these are all nonsense. I didn’t hear their screams; I was eating my meals, using the toilet, living the life in a prisoner camp, and I wasn’t around when they needed me most, I couldn’t do anything. This is unforgivable, unreasonable. Even if I want to die together with my ghost, only this grudge and regret—

(…Daddy.)

A mumbling voice rang through the communicator and reached Zinnerman’s ears, causing his finger that were stroking Maree’s face to turn numb.

(Can you forgive me of my stubbornness…?)

The voice was steady, but there was a heat sensation that showed she was not willing to back down at all, causing his sights to turn dark in an instant. His inner heart was then twisted by something, causing the suppressed things to collapse. The voice rang in his heart, he lost his footing, and his body floated in zero gravity.

''What are you saying? Why are you saying this in such a voice? I just said all those on the “Garuda” in a panic. That’s just some impulsive rambling from a man who did not want to experience the feeling of loss again, and decided not to have anything—'' the words in his heart did not become a voice as a hot liquid flowed out from his eyes. Zinnerman did not know what to do as he looked at the daughter on his photo.

''What’s there to be forgiven? I’m the one who needs to beg for it. I haven’t done anything, and I never thought of wanting to do anything. I just turned the 16 years of lies to my daughters while I hid in the shadows. You’re still willing to call such a man, such a father…''

“…I allow you.”

''That’s if I still have the right.'' Zinnerman held onto the photo tightly, turned his tear-filled eyes at the “Kshatriya”, and brought his mouth to the communicator as he said his last words.

“Follow your heart. This is the final order I’m giving you.”

(Understood, master.)

Marida answered with a light smile, and the binders of the “Kshatriya” pulled its binders up. The sub-arms from the front poked up, and a beam saber flashed as the explosive light expanded through the deck with heat waves. 

The bright and intense light looked to be burning the darkness inside the body. Zinnerman was unable to react to the unexpected situation, and the dazzling ‘light’ engulfed him in it completely.