Editing Dark Elf:Volume1 Chapter1 (section)

===Part 2===

Dead-eyed Klaus Knockburn awoke from his reverie.

“Ahh…”

He was screwed and withdrawing into his memories wasn’t going to change that.

Was this some kind of ritual? He was tied to a log while dark elf dancers danced around him in yellow-jeweled outfits sheerer than lace underwear. Every time they arched their back, lifted their leg high, and rhythmically moved their belly, their gold chains, bracelets, and other accessories jangled together. A sweet feminine scent wafted over from one short-haired young woman while beads of sweat flew from her hair and skin. But the show was hard to enjoy when it felt like they were preparing him to be cooked.

Was this their village, or not? Either way, they were deep inside the dark-elf-controlled Forest of No Return. This far away from human civilization, no one would come to his rescue if he shouted. His rotten teacher had entered the forest with him, but where had she gone? Had she been caught and roasted earlier, or had she abandoned him and fled when he passed out? Whatever the case, the legends had been wrong and it was looking like the actual reward for seeing a naked dark elf was death. But he had a feeling that rotten woman would have broken several other taboos.

Klaus Knockburn was all alone. The dark elves he had dreamed of meeting had tied him to a log pillar, piled up dried plants at his feet, and were surrounding him with torches at the ready. The dancer in thin lace that he had dubbed Short Hair and the hunter in white leather he had dubbed Leader both had their midriffs showing and they were not shy about showing off their cleavage and thighs either. Once he started paying attention, he found ''a lot'' of exposed skin. Those outfits were aggressively revealing.

He was in a crisis situation.

He was surrounded by the dark elves you were lucky to see even once in a lifetime, but they were about to cook him alive. So he wanted to believe this was the result of a misguided survival instinct.

…''O-oh, no.

Whatever the reason, it still happened.

“Wait, wait, wait, why!? No, it really is getting hard!!

Due to a private male concern, he really wanted to inconspicuously lean forward, but he unfortunately had to remain standing tall since he was tied to the thick pillar behind him. And they were staring at him. Every last one of them, from the brown girl hiding behind what was likely her mother (''Okay, I’ll call her Little Girl for now'') to an alluring young woman (''She can be Tear Mole''). Was the little girl in the white dress, who wore her silver hair in a braid mixed with some artificial hair to mimic her mother, leaning forward to get a better look?

He could only pray all those serious-faced dark elves had not noticed his shame!

“…”

Then the bathing girl – his future wife Slender – turned her head aside with a hand still on her hip. But he was pretty sure the visible side of her face had grown a bit red. Her pursed lips were also moving, but he was too far away to hear what she was muttering to herself.

…''She didn’t notice, did she?

''She didn’t, right!? Right!?'' pleaded Klaus. ''Please, goddess!!

But he had no way of communicating while tied up like this, so he couldn’t even ask her. He had never known how distressing it was to be unable to communicate! He ground his teeth together. This was the most trouble he had been in since he dozed off in class that one time. It had only been for 5 minutes, but when he woke up, he found that thing was doing what it tended to do in the mornings. He had tried his best to hide it, but his rotten teacher had covered her mouth with a hand and laughed most elegantly. “Oh, dear. What have we here? That cute thing is really working hard to catch my eye, isn’t it? Was I perhaps a little too sexy today?”

…''Noooooo!! I can’t let that happen agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!

His entire body trembled as that nightmare came rushing back.

He was bound tight and had no chance of escaping. And even if he did slip free of the rope, he was fully surrounded by dark elves carrying torches and bows. Trying to escape in front of them would only get him pummeled into submission by the entire group.

''He could use magic.

''But if he used it poorly, it would only seal his fate.

Which would be the more painful death: having his vitals pierced by poison-tipped arrows, or having his skull smashed open by the dull machetes and axes used to create their firewood and torches? Either choice – or neither choice – would not be a pleasant death.

…''Wait.

He was dripping with sweat and struggling to breath. He didn’t want them to laugh at him, but the complete lack of laughter led him to another realization.

…''O-oh, no. Is this not just some cruel joke!?

It had excited him a little to think of this as a group of silver-haired, brown-skinned women ganging up on and tying him up, but was this actually very serious?

“Wait, wait! But reaching a dark elf village is one of my life goals!!”

Tension filled the air when he shouted in human language.

The dancers stiffened and briefly stopped their dance. The sudden pause sent beads of sweat flying from the ends of their silver hair. Even if they couldn’t understand him, they may have been able to sense his anger at this unreasonable situation.

A very ominous silence followed. His use of human language may have put them on guard, or maybe even riled them up.

On that note, was this even their village? He didn’t see any buildings around. It may have been a ceremonial ground or an execution ground.

If so, he hadn’t even reached his goal. He was figuratively sliding headfirst toward the incinerator.

He barely understood anything here, which pressed down on him like a thick wall.

…''I…

His throat went dry. He felt death’s icy fingers on his back. He had no idea how this ritual worked, but if a single ember reached the pile of dried plants at his feet, even by mistake, he might be burned alive here. The possible discovery of his hard-on was no longer his primary concern.

…''I need to make contact. I need to communicate!! I’ve wanted to meet dark elves for ages. They might be another species, but they look almost identical to us. Yeah, they have longer ears, but they have hearts and they have brains just like us. When they look this identical, they must be able to feel the same emotions we feel, so I know they’ll understand if I can just speak with them. Our wedding night isn’t over yet! Crap, now I’m really nervous. M-ma’am, I promise I will make your daughter happy! And you as well if you want to marry me too!!

Luckily, he did know a bit of the elf language. That wouldn’t be the same as the dark elf language, but they might be able to understand a fellow elf language…right? If there were any bilingual elves here, they were more likely to know dark elf and elf than dark elf and human!

If he screwed this up, he would be burned at the stake, so he licked his lips with a dry tongue.

…''Um, “I wasn’t aware of your rules” would be…like this I think!!

He doubted anyone would mistake him for fluent, but he still managed to stumble through the elf words one at a time.

“Lhoipo plino jo. U sipk’q isino ab vaen nehop! U ilahacuwo ub u abbokzoz vae, pa yaehz vae lhoipo iq hoipq plino jv hubo?”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

''H-huh?

Time seemed to grind to a halt as a tense silence formed, so Klaus Knockburn smiled a little.

But not because he was amused. Quite the opposite.

He was pretty sure he had gotten it right. He might have had an accent, but he had spoken proper elf to them. Yet he felt more than just a chill. No one was smiling, not sharp-eyed Leader and not even Little Girl hiding behind her mother’s back. They made him feel like he had just snorted with laughter in the middle of a funeral where everyone else was sobbing. He had made some critical mistake here. He didn’t need to understand their language to sense that. He could no longer control his emotions. Maybe people reacted with laughter when all the assumptions of safety they had built up in their head were suddenly broken down.

He hesitantly turned toward his future wife Slender.

She was sighing with one hand on her hip and one hand on her forehead.

She looked exasperated or maybe resigned.

…''Wait, wait, wait! Forget I said anything! Give me a do-over!!

Meanwhile, Tear Mole the dancer and Glasses the priest, who had pointy gold decorations (horns? wings?) on either side of her head, were whispering to each other.

“''Kob, Fiwkotuqo. Uv ko i htuoqg ah wko onxov?''”

“''Uw yaeng voop va, Noqbi. Ykufk uv inn wko pato toivaq ykb yo qoog wa vixo kup.''”

As an outsider and a human, he had no way of knowing how the legendary dark elves would react. He had hoped they would respond more positively to the language of their cousins the elves, but only after making the choice did a very bad feeling set in. He begged the goddess to tell him it wasn’t so.

But what if?

…''What if the elves and dark elves are mortal enemies and we humans just aren’t aware of it''?

“''Dojuq!!!!!!''”

Surprisingly, it was intellectual-looking Glasses who gave the arrogant command. The many torches were all raised at once and then thrown toward the boy’s feet, landing on the pile of dried plants there.