Editing CubexCursedxCurious:Volume6 Chapter5 (section)

===Part 3===

Then Fear bowed her head and looked at Kaidou&mdash;arrogantly with her chest puffed out&mdash;and extended her hand.

"...Gimme."

Her instruction was short and to the point, as though what she demanded was perfectly natural. Even if she were to add "rice crackers" at the end, it would not sound unnatural at all.

But right now, Fear was not demanding rice crackers.

Instead, it was the shovel in Kaidou's hand.

Kaidou's long hair slid as she looked up at Fear but she did not relax her grip on the shovel.

Fear sighed.

"You don't intend to give it to me, right? Yes~ In that case&mdash;Why aren't you moving?"

"Hey&mdash;Fear..."

"Be quiet, Haruaki. I am currently speaking with the teacher."

Fear glared at the teacher. Kaidou gazed back at her silently, a sense of unease suddenly flashing across her eyes&mdash;Finally, she spoke a long awaited answer:

"The boxcutter in her hand... Used to be my sister's..."

She looked down again as though trying to forcefully suppress the surging pain. But still, she continued to speak. It was basically the same story as what Haruaki had heard the night before the final exams&mdash;except in much greater detail. For example, there was how her younger sister had been bullied yet she remained in the dark about it, how her sister obtained the boxcutter, how her sister suddenly slashed her one day with that boxcutter, as well as how her sister committed suicide by jumping off the building, shocked by what she had done to her elder sister, etc.

"But then that boxcutter... To think it would fall into the hands of that child... That child whom looks so much like my sister... I cannot understand... Why is this..."

Of course, Haruaki did not know the reason either. If Satsuko's words just now were true, very likely, she herself did not know either. Only because someone collected it and then someone else robbed it&mdash;finally, it simply ended up falling into the hands of Satsuko of the Draconians. If one had to guess, it was probably because it was a convenient weapon.

"Umuu... Right now, I have only one thing I can say to the teacher."

"...?"

After hearing Kaidou's story, Fear crossed her arms before her chest and drew her face close to Kaidou. Taking a deep breath&mdash;her lips twisted as though in a sneer&mdash;she said:


"Basically, ''so what''?"


"..."

Kaidou swallowed her breath without speaking. Fear ignored her and continued to talk:

"The story just now was simply your past. I understand. But does that constitute a reason for you to lie here unable to move? We are currently being attacked and pursued. Those two are taking innocent people and our friends as hostages. In spite of that, you are still unable to move&mdash;Putting me and my kind aside, that implies that you don't care about these students&mdash;Kirika, Shiraho and this shameless Haruaki. Furthermore, those people who became hostages are irrelevant to you as well, right?"

Fear already knew the answer and was perfectly aware that she was being very despicable. But still, she asked.

"No... I am..."

Kaidou gripped the shovel hard.

"...Indeed, I... am the teacher who is supposed to save the students. Even an ordinary person cannot feel uninvolved when hostages' lives are at risk. But, even so... Even so, I really... am very useless..."

She sighed. A sigh that admitted everything and despaired.

"...You have made me realize that I had mistakenly believed I had become stronger. I was supposed to have trained myself for these situations&mdash;But still ended up powerless. It makes me feel that the way I am, I have no right to stand on the battlefield. Take for example, all those reasons on that night which I used to make a stand, even at the cost of deceiving myself of my weakness, all have now vanished. Indeed, trying to protect someone whom I had superimposed my sister's image onto, when she is definitely not my sister... Even though I already discovered it from the very start."

Kaidou murmured as she confessed her cowardice while slowly standing up.

Then she raised her hand and presented the horizontal shovel to Fear.

"T-Teacher..."

"...Take this if you need it. Cowardly as I am, keeping it in my possession won't do any good."

Haruaki watched in amazement as all this unfolded. Fear silently received the shovel. It felt so heavy.

At this moment, in her heart&mdash;There were still doubts.

Namely, doubts regarding why Kaidou was unable to fight as a result of cowardice.

After hearing Kaidou's words, Fear concluded that what she needed to do had not changed. Just like just now.

Hence, she repeated the same question.

Carelessly shifting her position, she circled over beside Kaidou&mdash;


"Hmm~ You're cowardly and useless, yeah... But ''so what''?"


Smack.

Using the reverse side of the shovel, Fear spanked Kaidou's very exposed bottom beneath the revealing swimsuit.

"Hmm...?"

"F-Fear? W-What are you doing?"

"Hmph, for some reason... I feel very mad. Because the teacher keeps saying strange things, it makes feel all annoyed inside. So I'm punishing her. What's odd about that?"

"O-Of course it's very odd!"

Indeed, Fear was very agitated. If the weak really should stay away from the action instead of getting in the way&mdash;

''Then what about Haruaki here''?

''Was he someone who should stay away from the scene instead''?

Indeed, perhaps it would be dangerous for him because he was useless. Perhaps it would be better for him to be absent. However&mdash;Fear thought to herself, why did she feel the contrary?

She hoped he could stay.

Supposing what Kaidou just said was correct&mdash;it was as though she were cynically advocating that "hoping to stay here was wrong in itself." But that should not be true. Then why did Fear feel that it should not be true? Hence, she began to search for the answer to this question&mdash;

"Yeah... Right. The power to fight on your own, that doesn't really matter. I sincerely believe it's irrelevant."

"You say... It is irrelevant?"

The spanking hit should have hurt but Kaidou only looked at Fear without stroking her buttocks.

"In the past, there were a number of occasions when I thought I had become stronger. But these feelings didn't come up when I finally defeated hated enemies. This is because I fight only after I resolve myself to defeat the enemy. Hence, being able to defeat the enemy is the way it should be from the start."

"..."

"Those are not the times when I feel myself becoming stronger&mdash;Instead, it was when Shiraho and Sovereignty came to help me, or back when I recalled everyone's faces and was able muster the strength to smash that cross, or that time when I was even able to endure the pain of my own torture tools as soon as I reminded myself I was doing it for Kirika and everyone. It was during times like those when I felt that I had become stronger."

Indeed, it was when she felt connected to others.

Only then did she feel that she had become stronger. In that case&mdash;

"In that case, what I call strength is different from what you&mdash;or those Draconians&mdash;consider strength. Also, the strength you need is definitely useless here."

Hence.

Fear threw the shovel back to Kaidou. But for some reason, she suddenly found Haruaki's gaze, which was focused on her, quite embarrassing to endure. Turning her gaze to the side, she said:

"...I knew very early on that you had no idea how to face me. I also understood why you would think that. I knew it couldn't be helped. However&mdash;I remember that I have never expressed my opinion or what I was thinking inside. If I don't say it out, there won't be a beginning."

Fear found herself feeling very thirsty. How truly incredible. Clearly she only intended to voice her honest thoughts, but why was she so nervous?

"My wish is to live like a human. Perhaps that's not permitted, but even though it's natural for people to hate me, I still wish for that. But then living 'like a human' is not a matter that is limited to my own existence. Humans must connect with others around them. They must possess that quality of what I call strength. In other words&mdash;I want to live like a human by becoming that kind of person. So, umm... For the sake of making me stronger, are you willing to help me? Are you willing to become stronger together with me...?"

"What you mean is... You do not need... this...?"

"I believe that everything's screwed if I take that shovel away now. It feels like the chance for me and you to become strong together will never come again if I did that... So..."

With greatly troubled eyes, Kaidou bowed her head to look at the returned shovel. Fear impatiently tapped her fingers on her arm as she waited for Kaidou's response. Grinning cheerfully, Haruaki spoke up:

"Uh&mdash;Kaidou-sensei, many parts of this girl's words might be tough to understand... But let me try giving my interpretation. It boils down to two simple things. First of all, she wants to get along better with you and hopes that you could help."

"Get along better...?"

"What!? I-I didn't say that! I'll curse you!"

Although Fear was hammering away at Haruaki's back, he ignored her and continued:

"Secondly, she says that if she can improve relations with you, she'll become even stronger&mdash;But not just Fear herself, but also you, Kaidou-sensei. Of course, that includes the rest of us too."

"...Become even stronger... really?"

Kaidou seemed to sigh lightly.

Then after a few seconds, she finally turned her gaze away from the shovel.

There was no longer any hollow wavering in her eyes.

"Is there something... I am capable of doing...?"

"Yes... Of course. First, I have a request. I've come up with a plan but I need your help."

For some reason, Fear breathed a sigh of relief.

Immediately, a particular feeling took root in her heart.

She was convinced that if this was carried out smoothly, she would become stronger again.

While happily enjoying that feeling, Fear began to swiftly explain what they were going to do next.