Editing Kami-sama no Inai Nichiyoubi:Volume3 Chapter3 (section)

===Part III===
　　　　




There was no light in the world where Tanya Swedgewood was born. Apparently, the reason for this was that her eyes were a little smaller than most people's, a congenital defect.

Tanya's parents regretted it.

—What’s there to regret?

Tanya was often misunderstood. In fact, she had never felt unhappy about her blindness.

She thought that she would feel unfortunate if something she had was taken away from her. Given her imagination however, it was hard to begrudge that she did not have these things when she never had it. She felt that she could not see what she could not.

Thus, the ‘Spirit Vision’ Tanya obtained was not out of her own wish.

It was her family who wished for the sight.

They were really grieving, suffering, and distraught about Tanya's vision.

This made Tanya sad.

It happened on the night when she was nine years old.

Young Tanya heard her parents' voices lamenting in bed. Her father and mother were hard-working, cheerful people by day, but at night they would quietly moan vindictively.

(Such a poor girl.) (Such a poor girl.) (Such a poor girl.)

Stop it.

And Tanya, nine years old, covers her ears. In Tanya's world that was devoid of light, sound was an important source of information for everything in the world. At this moment, she did not want to hear anything.

And yet, the outstanding organs dutifully picked up the sounds of those close to her, and delivered them deep into her heart.

(Such a poor girl.)

Stop it.

(Such a poor girl.)

I'm not a poor girl!

Tanya let the soft comforter and the sun-scented blanket crush her, and uttered so with a voice only the pillow could hear. The blanket, which should have been embroidered with rabbit embroidery, caught the dripping salt water without a single complaint.

(Such a poor girl.)

Tanya cried without moving a muscle. Her shriveled eyeballs, useless as they were, worked well only at times like this, trickling out tears.

Tanya had never been unhappy with her eyes.

Yet, her family thought she was unhappy with them.

This frustrated Tanya so much that she—

(?)

Wait.

Tanya jerked upright. Wait, wait, wait.

Then Tanya realized.

How much difference was there between those two.

It did not matter how ‘unhappy’ they felt they were, but since they, especially papa and mama said so, since her family said so, and if it was so painful…

Perhaps she was truly unfortunate after all?

What came to Tanya's mind when she realized so was ‘relief’.

She was always bothered by the dissonance of opinions between herself and her parents. Her parents could not understand why Tanya never thought of herself as unfortunate, and Tanya could not understand why her parents thought she was unhappy. This was a painful experience for both of us.

But not anymore.

Tanya and her parents were both unfortunate. They had the same feelings.

At this point, Tanya felt that she was twisted in the mind, but back then, she just felt elated.

And thus she wished.

Finally, she could make such a wish.

She wanted a vision.

She wanted to be what mama and papa wanted her to be.

It was a heartfelt wish, only an infant would hope for.

Perhaps if Tanya's visual impairment happened later, her wish would have been granted normally.

However, she had not known light since birth. There was no ‘glare’, no ‘darkness’, no ‘transparency’, no ‘color’, nor ‘reflection’. She knew nothing.

Her imagination alone could not conjure anything she had never seen before.

And thus the ‘Spirit Vision’ was born.

The ability to hear the landscape.

At this moment, Tanya was walking through the forest leading to the outer wall of the Gora Academy. The moon was faint, the darkness rich. An ordinary person would not be able to walk one step further in the darkness.

Tanya’s footsteps remained steady however, for she could hear the entire landscape.

She could hear her own footsteps, the sound of her heart, her breath, the trees that covered them, the earth, and the sleeping insects resting behind the leaves and grass.

The sounds of the night, the moon, the darkness.

The orchestra performed by the Spirit Vision allowed the blind girl to see through the dark night.

(After all, it was this power that drove me into the wilderness.)

Tanya exhaled a sigh.

—The simple village farmer and his wife had the power to provide for ‘their blind daughter’, but for monetary and social reasons, they were unable to provide for ‘a daughter with special powers’. Tanya was kicked out of the village after a year, put in a monastery, moved from place to place—and was finally locked in this box garden called Gora.

(No, I can’t say so. I'm in this place by choice.)

Tanya reminisced as she walked through the school forest.

She would admit everything. The old her yearned to return home, and she actually did, but at sixteen, such thoughts were long gone without a trace.

Hope, or wish.

How long had it been since she stopped having such things? She remembered her  soul was burning on the day she made that wish when she was nine, but how distant were those days?

Another sigh blended into the night fog.

Tanya thought,

Ai—the girl who had ‘the sound of the rainbow that reaches the moon’ probably was still living in those days, probably dreaming of saving the world, like a curse. She was probably burning her soul for this.

Tanya did not envy her. Nevertheless…

The moon went dark.

"Tch!"

She clicked her tongue.

"Woah."

In response, Dee bowed her head in exaggerated surprise.

"Eh, I'm sorry, did I say something that upset you?"

"N-Not at all! I’m sorry, I’m not clicking my tongue because I’m unhappy… "

She hurried to explain.

Reverberation localization.

It was a technique Tanya had been using before she obtained the ‘Spirit Vision’. It was a technique where she would emit a sound and listen to the reflected sound waves, picking out whatever the objects surrounding her. Bats were able to hunt in the dark because of this technique.

Tanya had always been able to tell the shape and location of objects to a certain extent by listening to the sounds made by the surroundings and herself.

"Hmm. That’s amazing. You’re like a submarine. Do you know what a submarine is? It's a boat that goes under water."

The ‘Witch of the West’ was trying her best to explain, and Tanya hurriedly nodded.

"Huh? But with your ability, you don't need such a skill, Tanya."

"Not really. The sounds of ‘darkness’ and ‘night’ are very small, so it's easier for me to use my voice to override them."

"I-I see—By the way, what do you know about me, Tanya?"

"You…"

Tanya paused slightly.

"Have the sound of the dead. …"

"Ahaha, I can’t hide from your power. Feels like my mind is being read. What can I do now?"

Tanya was thrown off a loop. Naturally, she could not read a person’s thoughts, but her ability allowed her to have something close. She hesitantly watched the ghost.

Dee seemed unconcerned and continued to float forward. Her invasion really was ghostly as she slipped through obstacles without issues and moving forward.

"But I was a little surprised that you’d help Ai, Tanya—well, I went to Alice first, but he’s not there. Thank goodness I found you."

"… Surprising?"

"Yep."

"Is that so…"

The truth was that she really did not know what she was doing. She never had been one to sneak out late at night before, and would usually be the one admonishing. On this occasion however, she was walking through the school at night.

"…It's not that I don't like her anymore after that."

Hmmm. Dee was silent and did not ask any more.

"Oh, here we are."

"Mm."

They passed through the forest and noticed in unison.

Beyond the 30-meter buffer zone was a wall surrounding the school, covered with steel wires, some of which were said to have electricity of ridiculous voltage.

And at this moment, Ai was about to touch it.

"Don’t!"

But her voice was not heard, and Ai touched the steel wire.

Bzzt, there was a small snap of electricity.

When a human body makes contact with strong electricity, two things could happen.

They were other ‘popped’ or ‘stuck’.

The current flowing through the human body would cause the muscles to stiffen, and If the stiffened muscles caused the person to move away from the contact point, it would result in a ‘pop’. If the stiffened muscles caused the person to hold onto the current firmly, it would result in ‘stuck’. Such outcomes were basically the same, but the results were greatly different. The former would rarely cause deaths, while the latter would greatly increase the chances of it.

Ai was fortunate to be ‘popped’. But that did not change the fact that she was in danger. Her small body was thrown up in the air, and her hands left the wall without being able to grab anything.

She fell.

"Tch!"

Tanya clicked her tongue to affirm the situation. She was too late. Such was the moment when the weakness of reverberant localization would show itself. Compared to sight, which could be perceived at the speed of light, the speed of sound was not even a millionth of that.

The little body was dragged down by gravity five steps ahead in the air. The body continued to fall, about to land head first onto the solid ground.

I can't make it in time!

At that moment, a black shadow ran past Tanya's side. It jumped out of the forest at top speed and arrived at the landing like an arrow.

"Oya—!!"

In the nick of time, the shadow slipped between Ai and the ground, catching her body by her stomach.

Bam! The two of them collapsed in the darkness.

"… It hurts. Seriously, you're like, falling out of the sky or something. Is it a fad?"

"I boss..."

"Ahaha, 'I boss', you can't even talk properly."

Alice quickly got up, dusted himself off and tried to help Ai up. Ai however was on the ground with her buttocks down, unable to get up.

"H-huh? Wait? Why…"

"You’re numb."

"May feet bah sore…sore."

"Ah, I know I know. You get this taste when you lick a battery. It tastes like  electricity—So, how’s the taste?"

"Not bad."

"Wait, you’re saying it’s great!? You can eat electricity too!"

Scary, Alice shuddered all over.

"Here."

"? What is it?"

"I’ll carry you."

"I’m fine."

Ai looked aside in a moment.

"I bate Misha Julie."

"So now ‘I bate Misha Julie’? Fukukukuku."

"!"

Smack! Smack! Ai kept hitting Alice while blushing furiously.

"You holibble! Albays laughing at pose in trabble~!"

"Ahaha, I don’t get what you’re saying at all."

Alice quickly grabbed Ai and gave her a piggyback ride. Ai tried to resist, but her body was too numb to move.

"Eh? Dee and Prez?"

The two of them finally noticed the other two.

Instantly, Dee snapped at him.

"Seriously~!! If you're going to come, come early! It's not trendy to show up at the last minute, you crazy idiot!"

"Shut up, I don't need a flying girl to tell me about common sense. If you're going to leave a message, you should have told Hardy, right? Why Gigi? It’s hard to understand him. And he’s begging to come along…"

Alice bickered with Dee as though they were greeting 'good evening' to each other, and their attitudes immediately changed thereafter, for he turned around and said,

"Prez…are you here to help this one too?"

"Y-yes."

Hmph, Alice nodded and smiled.

"Thanks."

"Wh- why are you thanking me, Alice?"

"I like it when you do that. It's kind of nice, isn’t it?

The smile was truly that of a ‘boy’, and Tanya's cheeks were flushed for some reason.

"Alright, you should thank her, too."

"…Thanks u."

"You're welcome …."

The two of them bowed to each other awkwardly.

"Shall we go back?"

"…"

Ai did not reply. This time, she did not complain.

The four of them returned through the forest. Dee floated around, keeping watch, and the trio cautiously advanced as per her instruction.

"I'm sorry…."

Ai said abruptly. Her voice had finally returned to normal.

"I caused everyone trouble…"

"Then you should be obedient for now."

Alice pouted.

"Five days."

"What's that?"

"We’re escaping."

Alice looked over his shoulder, and into Ai's eyes.

"I've already spoken with the dorm supervisor."

For a moment, the forest regained its midnight silence.

"…What do you mean?"

"What else? Our plan to dig a tunnel out is a no go. This is Plan F. Negotiation."

"Negotiation…"

"With that dorm supervisor?"

It was unbelievable to Ai and Tanya.

"That old woman lady has already realized that times have changed. She's willing to close an eye if we just die obediently. What do you intend to do?"

"What do you mean by that…?"

"Are you coming with me?"

Ai was silent.

"What about you, Prez?"

Alice did not wait for Ai to answer, and proceeded so.

"Y-you're asking me too?"

"I thought I could bring along a few alone, so I wanted to ask the entire Q class."

"I..."

Tanya imagined herself leaving, wandering the wilderness, and returning home.

"Well, I'm not asking you to decide now."

Alice was the only one who remained aloof and steady.

"You have until the end of that day to answer me."




+




The next day was a rest day which all the students were happy about. However, the students of Q class were the only ones unable to enjoy it.

Alice's suggestion had reached everyone by noon, and the class atmosphere into a tense one.

Tanya would be discreetly called by the girls to be asked in the bathroom or in any secretive place. She did not know why everyone was looking to her for advice. In fact, she herself was unsure.

It seemed, the twins seem to be planning to stay.

Rune is unsure. She said she wanted to go to the underwater city of ‘Estia’. Tanya was a little shocked, for she had never heard of this before.

Volrath’s answer was easy to guess. "Anywhere with Hardy".

It seemed that while everyone had a consultation, they did not need an answer from anyone else. They already had one. Tanya merely nodded and gave a few words, but everyone thanked her, and smiled as they left.

Finally, Tanya asked the same question to every smiling face.

"What is the ‘world’ to you?"

The answer from the twins was ‘we wish to be together, always’.

Rune's world was ‘self’, and she wanted to ‘enhance’ herself.

Volrath's world was ‘Hardy’ and she wanted to ‘love’ him.

Each answer and career path seemed to be intertwined.

She even asked the boys herself.

Gigi's world was ‘The Mountains of Elha’, and he wished to "protect" it.

Hardy's world was ‘one where everyone had their full’, and he wanted ‘to reach that place’.

Tanya walked through her own, dark world and asked her classmates.

On the way, she came across Mageta, who was in the eaves leading to the dormitory and staff offices. As usual, the dorm supervisor walked confidently, as though assuming she was the most righteous person in the world.

Tanya might have been a little crazy at that moment, for normally, she would not dare to do so, yet she naturally posed this question,

Dorm supervisor. What is the world to you? What do you want to do with it?

Even though Mageta was asked such an abrupt question, she was still full of confidence.

"For me, the world is this school. I want to protect this place."

Even though it's guaranteed to collapse?

Mageta's eyes lifted up in surprise. Once she saw that no one was around, she suddenly relaxed her eyes and answered honestly.

"But still—for us, this is the only way we can live."

The moment Tanya heard this, she felt something drop into her stomach.

No matter how wrong they were, no matter how there was no future.

Some people had determined the place where they belonged to.

Mageta was one of them. So was she.

"Tanya Swedgewood, you’re not thinking about leaving here, are you?"

…….

"Don't do that."

It was the first time she heard the dorm supervisor sound so kind.

"There’s no way you can live out there. You don’t have the guts to live in the outside world, with your special powers. That's who you are."

…Thank you. Tanya said, bowing deeply, and left the room.

She wanted to hear what those three had to say.




+




Alice, Ai and Dee were hard to find. While she did all three of them during mealtime, they disappeared like ghosts the rest of the time however. (Dee was a ghost, though.)

Tanya had no choice but to go out unannounced at night, and entered Ai's room.

"Ai?"

Fortunately, Ai was there. So too were Dee and Alice.

"Why Alice too?"

"I have no choice. This idiot’s always doing something stupid…"

He said as he smacked Ai's forehead. Ai did not react at all, and merely groaned as she lay prone on the bed. After questioning, she learned that Ai spent the entire day trying to escape, wanting to contact her companions outside

"Just from what Dee saw today, she climbed cliffs, went under water, waddled through sewers, climbed over walls, through forests, broke barriers… and many other things we don't know about…"

"………Did you really do all that today…?"

"Yeah, and she failed them all."

It’s hard to keep up with her. Alice grumbled as he twirled his neck, creaking it. Dee also said, "Even I'm a little tired. This time…" and drifted away like a rain cloud.

Ai lay slumped on the bed. She was black all over, her hem was burned at the edges, and she smelled a bit grimy.

But her eyes were still alive and well, as though going all "You got a problem with that?"

Tanya sat down gently by the bedside. First, she asked the ghost floating in the air.

"Miss Dee."

"Hmm?"

"What does the world mean to you?"

"The world? Hmm~, I guess, myself."

"I see. So you want to end yourself?"

The moment Dee heard so, she felt as if she had been struck by lightning, for she realized that she had inadvertently spoken words that came out of her soul unwittingly.

Tanya, however, took this little drop of soul from the ‘Witch of the West’ and weighed it equally with her classmates’. I see, and so she answered.

"Mr Alice."

"…Wh-what now, ‘Tanya’?"

"What is the world to you?"

"…! You..."

Alice's eyes widened in astonishment, and was even sweating profusely.

"How can you ask such a question, Prez? It might be a fatal wound to us here! It’s like hitting a monster with a ‘silver bullet’."

"Erm, if you don't want to answer…I won’t really force you here…".

"Now it’s a fatal wound if I don’t answer or try to bluff my way through…"

Alice cleared his throat and replied squarely.

"For me, the world is my ‘friends’. My world is ‘the eighteen members of Class 3-4’, that's my everything."

"I see. You want to destroy that, don't you?"

"Yeah."

Tanya’s response remained the same.

"I see," she merely uttered.

"Ai."

"Za warudo?"

"Hm?—Ah, that’s right. Another electrocution again?"

"Unbortunatly…."

Ai laid on the bed, squirming, practicing her words.

"For me, the world to me...well, let’s see..."

She mumbled again, and finally, her answer was still,

"… I don't know."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Tanya nodded her head. This answer was most similar to her own.

"You know, Ai, I asked everyone that question today…"

Tanya talked about their classmates, the students in the other classes, the teachers, the ‘worlds’ they lived in, and how they interacted with it.

"Some of them started with ‘I don’t know’, or ‘I never thought about it’, but when I listened to them closely, I realized that everyone has their own world…so I think we have a world too."

"…Is that so?"

"A somewhat vague answer is fine."

"Somewhat vague…"

Somewhat vague, Ai repeated so many times.

"I have a feeling…it’s 'I want to save everyone'."

"Everyone."

"Yes, everyone…"

Oh, I see, so Tanya thought. She felt that the words were somehow appropriate for Ai.

"I see, so you want to save everyone, Ai."

"’'I want, to save, everyone'?"

Ai slowly uttered the words, as though chewing and swallowing hard at it.

"Everyone…? I want, to save, everyone…? But everyone is …."

"Ai?"

Tanya called out, but Ai was in her own world, and did not answer.

"Looks like you did something really bad here, Prez."

Alice smirked.

"I-Is guess so."

"You did. Look at her. It’s super scary."

"Everyone…What is everyone…? The living, the dead, the Gravekeeper… me… its resolve, its attitude… involvement... ...Plants and Animals…Space…Pineapple…"

"A-Ai?"

Tanya called out tentatively, but Ai continued to murmur, and had no response..

"Goodness me…"

Seeing this, Alice chuckled.

"Well, let me ask you this instead. What does the world mean to you, Tanya?"

"…"

Silence. Tanya had no idea, and that was why she was asking everyone.

"…I don’t know."

"Oh, come on! You asked us."

"Uu, I'm sorry…"

"Goodness—a sorta answer will be fine, you know?"

Vague.

"What do you think?"

"…No, I'm not good at this ‘sorta’ thing."

"Seems like Ai is."

Tanya pointed to the bedside.

"The Sun and the Moon…Stones and Life…Fish Sausage at Dawn…"

"I see…no it’s not…this isn’t ‘sorta’."

"It's not?"

"Yeah, it's not ‘sorta’."

"… I still don't get it."

"Sorta?"

"Sorta."

"You’re doing so though, sorta."

"Oh, that's ‘sorta’?"

"Sorta? I kind of get it—sorta."

"I think I get it. Sorta."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on here."

Dee was all dizzy as she muttered, sorta here sorta there sort everywhere.

"W-well, think about it. Sorta."

At that moment, the last bell of the day rang.

"All right. It's time for a roll call."

Alice stood up and said.

"Once you come to a decision, let me know—and tell me whether or not you're leaving."

He did not wait for the response as he gently flipped out of the window. Sorta, Dee wobbled after him as she muttered.

"Okay, good night."

"Good night."

And so.

This was Ai's fifth night at the school.




+










The next day.

Many classmates seemed to have regained their composure. Everyone seemed to have no doubt left as they swung their shovels, dug into the earth, and rolled the carts to transport the earth and sand away.Tanya had unwittingly separated herself from her old friends and started to spend time with Ai.

It was a commonplace phenomenon. Gigi, who had been attached to Alice for a long time, had been chatting with the twins, and Volrath had left Hardy to be with Alice. It seemed everyone wanted to finish whatever they had yet to do in lieu of the coming changes. Such was the atmosphere.

Tanya wondered if she and Ai were the same. They spent time together to prepare for X-Day, which was coming in four days.

The two of them chatted in moments, as though they were talking over scraps of notes in class.

At meal times.

At recess.

In class.

Tanya talked about her eyes.

Ai talked about her hometown.

They talked about themselves. They talked about their favorite foods. They talked about their parents. They talked about last night's dream.

At some point, the class members began to join in. Rune and the twins stood next to each other, and Volrath and Hardy sat down. Gigi would look uncomfortable when caught, but he never left. Alice laughed, and Dee floated away.

Class Q broke up, gathered, and then broke apart again—like tide, coming and going, and becoming tranquil before they knew it, when everyone stopped.

But everything was still destined to separate.

Tanya and her friends spent their days there.

Four days passed like an arrow.




+




"Are you going?"

Tanya asked.

"Yes."

Ai replied.

It was dusk on the fourth day.

Classes were over, all the after-school work was done, and they were on their way back to the dorm.

Q class was walking down the path in various groups, sometimes together, sometimes separate. Ai had been playing with the twins, while Tanya was talking about cooking with Hardy and the others.

Suddenly, they reshuffled, and the two of them were at the back of the group, watching the sunset with their classmates ahead of them.

"What about you, Miss Tanya?"

Ai asked. It was the last moment for her to hear this reply.

They would be leaving on this night.

"Hmm, I'll stay…"

Tanya replied.

"…Is that so?"

There was a moment of silence.

"…Did you get the answer to that question?"

"The question about the world?"

"Yes."

Tanya sighed.

"I guess it comes back to that after all…I can’t think of anything."

"Can't you just have an answer, sorta?"

"Sorta, yes."

"What?"

Ai stopped dead in her tracks.

"Isn’t that amazing! What is it?"

Tanya also stopped, yes, and nodded,

"For me, the world is still my family…that's what's most important to me…"

Then! Ai was about to say, but she could not muster herself to continue, and kept quiet.

She's a really smart girl, Tanya thought. Days ago, Ai did not know that others would have such thoughts, and at this moment, she knew very well where the difficulties were, and was troubled so.

Ai was right. If family was important to her, she should be with them, and face difficulties together. They should fight against discrimination, alongside each other, argue about important things, and win their place in the world. It had been seven years since then, and things had changed a lot. Perhaps the village was much kinder than before. They might even accept her. Even this school, which used to be like an iron wall, had changed, greatly in fact, for it was on the verge of collapsing.

But...

She still could not go with them.

"Sometimes."

Tanya felt a hint of tears.

"I despair of myself. Why can't I live ? Why can't I do the right thing? Why can't I be as pure as the sun rises and the moon falls?"

The useless eyes moistened the edges of the eyelids, fulfilling the only functioning ability they had.

"I wish I’m as strong as you, Ai. I wish I had a dream and go for it. I wish I was that kind of person."

"That's because I'm an idiot."

With a sigh, Ai turned her head away.

"I just didn't have that thing in me all this while, the thing that prevented me from taking the step out like you are all buried, Miss Tanya. That’s why I won’t be lost, that’s all…I just don't know. I’m just ignorant…"

In two mere seconds, Ai cried along and grumbled..

They took out their handkerchiefs in unison, blew on them in unison, and then heaved sighs of relief.

"…I've only recently come to understand what kind of person I am—Tanya Swedgewood."

Ai scrunched her nose with her handkerchief again.

"…What kind of person?"

"Yes. A good-for-nothing."

"A-A good-for-nothing? I don't think so. …"

No, I am one.. Tanya replied. She really was a good-for-nothing, always unable to conclude, always being vague about what she wanted, just living in the moment, had no dreams, nor anything she wanted to do. The one thing she was no inferior compared to others was her, and she dared not to expose herself to reality.

She had hoped that this was not the case.

Unfortunately, it seemed she was.

"Goodbye, Ai."

Tanya said.

"I can't go with you."

"…"

Ai was silent again, appearing to be on the verge of tears. She fumbled for words in her mouth, and appeared to wonder whether to say them or not.

"I—"

Another five seconds of hesitation passed,

"I'm …."

In the end, Ai could not say anything.

"Goodbye, Ai."




+




Tanya did not remember much of the time that followed.

She just remembered that the life that had been turbulent over the past few days was stable. She returned to her dormitory, had her meal, bathed, and no longer hesitated to do so. She could live on without any doubts, just as she did before she met Ai.

This made her even sadder. All the things she had been frustrated about were forgotten, and she was simply worrying about tomorrow's class. She really was a good-for-nothing.

She went to bed at night, and the moment she closed her eyes, she thought about Ai and the others.

Surely they had left by now.

Even though she thought so, Tanya's mind was calm, and merely shed tears in the eyes that had forgotten to.




And so they left.