Editing Kara no Kyoukai:Void Shrine (section)

====3====

Around six days had passed since Touko was invited to the hospital as a provisional doctor. Every time Touko passed on the news to her employee that Ryougi Shiki's condition was improving every day, she couldn't help but have one little worry.<br>

That is, whether or not the Ryougi Shiki of the present and the Ryougi Shiki of the past were the same to another person.<br>

"Taking physiotherapy twice a day and getting a CT scan are like work for her. You'll be able to see her on the day she's released, so just wait a little more."<br>

Having come back from the hospital, Touko smooths out her orange necktie and sits on the desk.<br>

The time of evening with summer just ahead.<br>

The red blaze of the sunset dyes the lightless interior of the office a dark orange.<br>

"Physiotherapy twice a day? Will Shiki be okay with just that? She's been asleep for two years."<br>

"They say they moved her joints for her even though she was asleep. On top of that, physiotherapy isn't exercise. Five minutes a day is sufficient. Originally, the term rehabilitation wasn't a medical term, but meant the recovery of one's dignity as a human. That's how Ryougi Shiki, who has been lying around until now, has been able to regain the feeling that she is human. The body's recovery... well, that's a different story."<br>

Touko lights the cigarette she's holding in her mouth, cutting off the conversation for a while.<br>

"But you know, the problem isn't of the body, but rather the mind. That kid is becoming different from the Ryougi Shiki of before."<br>

"--- Is it... memory loss?"<br>

As if he had prepared for such a thing, he hesitantly says something stupid.<br>

"Hmm, I wonder.... I believe her personality itself is the same as before. There hasn't been a change to Ryougi Shiki herself. What has changed is Shiki. I don't know if this will come as a shock to you."<br>

"I'm plenty used to this kind of thing by now. Please explain fully. Shiki... what's happened to her?"<br>

"Mmm, to tell the truth. She's completely empty.<br>

Shiki, who until now had always carried around another person inside of her... SHIKI no longer exists. No, she must be unsure whether or not she's even Shiki or SHIKI.<br>

When she woke up, SHIKI was already gone from inside her. Through his loss, her mind has become a blank space. Maybe --- that kid won't be able to stand the empty space... Her heart is empty. Like a hole, it's completely open. Even the air passes through like the wind."<br>

"What do you mean, SHIKI's gone --- how come?"<br>

"He probably died in Shiki's stead. However it happened, Ryougi Shiki died in that accident two years ago. You might misunderstand since she's somehow still alive, but just assume for a minute that she died. Ryougi Shiki came back to life as a new entity inside the body of Ryougi Shiki. The Shiki of now, the Shiki of the past, and the Shiki of the present derived from those memories are nothing but strangers. No one can accept another person's history as their own. That child will perhaps be spending her nights with the thought that 'I'm still not myself'."<br>

"... Another person? So, Shiki can't remember the things that have happened?"<br>

"No, she remembers. At present she is definitely the Shiki you know. The reason she's still alive is because she had the equal but separate personalities of Shiki and SHIKI.<br>

Ryougi Shiki suffered a death of the mind due to the accident. Let's say that SHIKI accepted the role of dying at that time. So, although she should have died at that moment, Shiki was still there in her brain, and as a consequence, her mind didn't die. Shiki has been asleep because of the death of Ryougi Shiki, but since it was SHIKI that died, she was able to survive.<br>

And so --- she was in a coma for two years, and although her body kept functioning, she didn't grow - all because she was dead yet still alive.<br>

But the revived her is different from the past Shiki in the details. It's not so bad as to be called memory loss, but she probably won't be able to bring to mind any memories unless she needs to.<br>

You can't say it's another person or that it's a complete stranger, but she's now different from the Shiki you've known until now. A third personality which is an amalgam of the personalities of Shiki and SHIKI - it would be most appropriate to accept her as such."<br>

... That's what she said, but in reality such a thing could not happen.<br>

As long as Shiki was Ryougi, there was no need to mix with SHIKI, who was her other half, and Shiki wouldn't be able to fill the hole left by SHIKI's absence by herself.<br>

Avoiding any reference to that fact, Touko continues talking.<br>

"Even if she's revived as a wholly different person, she's still Ryougi Shiki. No matter how little confidence you have in the fact that you are you --- that child is still Ryougi Shiki. Right now she probably can't even feel that she's alive, but the time will come when she will accept that she is Shiki.<br>

A rose is born as a rose. It doesn't become a different flower just because the ground it's on and the water it receives change."<br>

So don't be so hung up over it all, she added in a whisper.<br>

"Eventually, an empty hole has to be filled. She will have to build a new self, not based on her memories of the past, but through her experiences in the present. That's a shrine that no one can help her build. It's not something another person should meddle in. In short, all you have to do is treat her as you've always done. Oh, and it seemed like they were going to release her pretty soon."<br>

Throwing the burnt-down cigarette stub out the window, Touko raises her arms and straightens her back.<br>

Crick, crick, crack. The sound her bones make can be clearly heard.<br>

"I knew I shouldn't have done something I'm not used to. The cigarettes tasted so bad that I was about to go crazy."<br>

She talked while letting out a long sigh, as if she was tired of the world.<br>



<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Go back to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_03|Previous Section]]
| Return to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai|Main Page]]
| Move to [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter04_04|Next Section]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>