Editing NouCome: Volume 1 Chapter 1 (section)

===Part 3===
I was taken to the student guidance room.

Utage-sensei sat her tiny body in the chair, with her head laid back, and lazily asked.

"So, why are you naked to the waist?"

"You didn't give me time to get dressed!"

"Come on, cough it up. I don't have all day."

Although she asked the question she completely ignored it and put her feet up on the table.

"No, no. I can guess. Or rather, I know you didn't do it on purpose."

"Kuku, so what kind of choices did you have this time?"

......After all that's true.

I've met only one person, Utage-sensei, who knows of the existence of the absolute choices.

"I had to show either the upper half or the lower half......"

"...... So you chose the top? Geez, you're a humorless guy."

"Taking out my penis wouldn't be a humorous situation!"

"It's no problem. At worst you would be forced to leave school."

"That would be a big problem!"

"No skin off my nose, it would be someone else's problem."

"I'm right in front of you! I'm a student in your class!"

Gu......I'm a student needing a good teacher but the only one around is this joker.

"Take it a seriously for a moment sensei?"

Utage-sensei dropped the joking manner and her expression became a bit clouded. A quiet reply is given.

"However, well...... still vulgar."

"Sensei......"

So, as a matter of fact, sensei previously had the absolute choices.

The absolute choice seems to be property that has moved through several people, from Utage-sensei, to the present holder, me.

Why did it move to me? Even if I ask that she evades with things like, its not time yet, or its troublesome to answer.

Utage-sensei lost her anxiety and went back to being lazy as always.

"Head back. I have to formally punish you for this. But I'll do my best, so hang in there."

Despite my dissatisfaction with her secretiveness, following last year it is good that the teacher for my homeroom understands, it has helped a lot.

If there was no arrangement with Utage-sensei then the repetitions of eccentric behaviour would have led to suspension or worse......I'm tired of it even if I say so myself.

"Ah, there is something I'm curious about."

About the topic of choices, I suddenly recalled it. This morning the strange creature, Chocolat, fell from the sky.

I don't know if there's a direct relationship to absolute choice, but maybe Utage-sensei who was a previous holder of it knows something.

"This morning on the way to school a strange, beautiful girl fell from the sky."

Utage-sensei, with faraway eyes, clapped me on the shoulder.

"That's too bad......you've lost the ability to distinguish 3D from 2D."

"No, no, that's not it."

Even though I think its a wild story myself, it is unavoidably a fact.

"Oh, during this time didn't you happily say 『In the galgame, if you clear the heroine route 100 times, you can get her to come out of the screen and propose to the girl. Fuhihi』"

"I didn't say that! Is your memory okay?!?"

"Ah, was it a 101 times?"

"That's not the issue there!"

"Then, 『Fuhihi sorry』 was it?"

"That's not the point! Don't fake all those lines!"

I've thought this all this year, but is this person really a teacher? Anyway you slice it this isn't the behaviour of a teacher.

"You, what's with that stare......surely."

Utage-sensei took a step back unnaturally.

"We're in a closed room, that was your secret plan."

"No, no, what are you suddenly saying."

"You are naked to the waist in broad daylight."

"That's because of you!"

"Stay away pedophile."

"Where's the pedophile, think of your age!"

"I'm 12 years old. That's fine for a pedophile."

"Don't lie like a elementary student."

"It's noisy with you yelping and shouting. Well, what is it, you......"

"......There's no way you're a teacher, you've forgotten my name?"

"Idiot, my class, hmm. I can't find it. Well, Ama......Ama......Ama........."

"I was in your class last year too!"

"Haha, it's bad it's bad, even as a joke Amakasa<ref>Deliberate mistake.</ref>."

<nowiki>*pout*</nowiki>

"What," *smile*, "Is with this feeling!" 

I was completely made fun of!

"I mean, I did say I didn't have all day. So hurry up and say it."

"No, no, this isn't going anywhere and you are to blame no matter what......"

I returned to the story even while complaining.

"So, there's the beautiful girl."

"Yes, yes, she fell from the sky, your daydream girl."

Ku......what an annoying way to talk.

"She fell as a result of an absolute choice."

"What was that?"

Her expression changed.

"......is that so?"

Her face went from smiling to listless and she murmured.

"From your expression, you know what I'm talking about?"

Utage-sensei didn't deny it.

"Well. But this, I can't just poke my nose in at a moment's notice."

It was a very indecisive way of speaking. However, Utage-sensei's eyes had a serious look.

"If I had to say something, it seems like the preparations for you to lose the absolute choice are complete."

"What? What does that mean."

The first period preliminary bell interrupted me.

"It's time, return to the classroom quickly."

"No sensei, I need more details."

"For now I can't talk further about it."

"No, but......"

If its about absolute choice its a big deal since it controls my life.

"Ssh, if you are too noisy I'll castrate your uvula."

"That expression is a bit funny......what are you emailing?"

"This? It's to Yukihira's cell, if you are not back in a minute she is allowed to burn your jacket."

"What a contemptible thing to do!"

No, if I think normally, just because she was told to there is no way that Yukihira would do it......no, there might be......no, she would definitely do it.

"And sent. If you tattle I'll kill you."

"What the heck kind of person are you?"

"Do you have time to talk? There's 50 seconds left."

"Ku, shit!"

I opened the door of the student guidance room and ran full throttle down the hallway......shirtless.


"Well......"

I don't know the true character of the creature Chocolat and if she's integral to my absolute choice. All morning Utage-sensei's words stayed in my head, focusing on the lesson was impossible.

That state didn't change even by lunchtime when I ate at my desk with several friends. I was absentminded during their conversation.

"What?"

Then, from the speaker above the blackboard came a voice that interrupted my thoughts.

<nowiki><Ladies and Gentlemen, hello. It's Seikou Day Crash time.></nowiki>

Ah, its that time already?

This program is done every lunchtime by the Broadcast Club. The MC changes each day and it is quite an elaborate broadcast.

Well, if my thinking is jumbled up, no answer will come out. I decided to listen to it for a change.

<nowiki><Well, this Monday, we've invited school celebrities to 『Poison's Mansion』></nowiki>

The light voice of the female MC speaks.

<nowiki><Today, from Second year Class 1, Yuuouji Ouka-san and Yukihira Furano-san have come.> </nowiki>

I look around the classroom as that is said, there's certainly no sign of them here.

<nowiki><Yoo-hoo, hello, I'm Yuuouji Ouka *Clapping*.></nowiki>

<nowiki><Good evening, I am Yukihira Furano.></nowiki>

Yuuouji is always hyper, and why Shinichi Mori style Yukihira? These two people broadcasting together.....I have a bad feeling about this.

<nowiki><Yes, as everyone knows last term these two were named to the 『Reject 5』. Can you tell us how worthless that made you feel?></nowiki>

The MC suddenly asked that rude question. Well that's her natural invective and S touch. She bluntly goes to areas that aren't normally touched upon and cuts deeply.

<nowiki><Yes, ah, what is this button?></nowiki>

<nowiki><Wa-wait, don't touch that without permission!></nowiki>

With a bang, the sounds of the MC panicking and standing were heard.

<nowiki><What, but the instrument over here is broadcasting, and it said not to touch it.></nowiki>

<nowiki><Then, why the hell did you push it?></nowiki>

<nowiki><It isn't a thing to touch?></nowiki>

This isn't a comedy show!

As expected of Yuuouji, even with all the students listening she is very free.

<nowiki><Then, pull yourself together. Yukihira-san thank you very much.></nowiki>

The conversation has failed, Yukihira began speaking in a very theatrical tone.

<nowiki><Ah, I'd hate to brag? I didn't expect anything but yeah. The people surrounding me are worked up about it. I would have declined if I could do that. But that would be rude to the people who took great pains to choose me......I wonder if this side of me is embarrassing.></nowiki>

Why do I feel like she was awarded a prize?

<nowiki><Well......></nowiki>

The MC is at a loss for words. If it was me I'd give up on continuing. But she gave a small cough and continued as though nothing happened.

<nowiki><To all the students listening could the 『Reject 5』 give one word. Even if it will be worthless after all.></nowiki>

You are purposefully provoking them and showing your shallowness MC.

However Yuuouji seemed to be entirely oblivious to the situation.

<nowiki><Hmm, I don't really know the 『However, it rejects!』 feeling?></nowiki>

That's a different meaning! The one being rejected is you!

And, the same question was given to Yukihira.

<nowiki><After half a year, for a person who reaches this height, there's a lot to be expected of me.></nowiki>

Why the condescending attitude looking down!

<nowiki><......Indeed you two are unique.></nowiki>

Do the two of them not shake you at all? There was irritation in the MC's voice as she changed the topic.

<nowiki><That reminds me, in your class is another of the 『Reject 5』. Amakusa Kanade is it?></nowiki>

My hand holding the chopsticks stops. It was a complete surprise attack.

<nowiki><Yes, it's a pity his brain is like that since his face is good, it must be a little difficult to be out in public.></nowiki>

I don't want that to be said by you.

<nowiki><Ahaha, he suddenly began stripping in class today.></nowiki>

No I...well I did take it off......Yuuouji-san did you have to say it?

<nowiki><He suddenly started stripping in the classroom......is Amakusa-san a flasher?></nowiki>

<nowiki><What? No, I think its different than that. I think he just suddenly wanted to take it off.></nowiki>

Isn't that a flasher?!

<nowiki><He cannot live without a mosaic already.></nowiki>

It's like saying I'm an addict or something.

<nowiki><As a classmate, I feel anxious for his future.></nowiki>

Then close your mouth now!

<nowiki><Then, next week shouldn't Amakusacchi appear?></nowiki>

Yuuouji......why did you add that statement to this flow.

<nowiki><Then because you introduced him with such gusto, next week we'll see if we can have the despicable, trashy, rascal Amakusa-san as our guest.></nowiki>

The MC is on a roll. In the confusion of the moment I've been terribly slandered.

<nowiki><Yes, then lets call him immediately.></nowiki>

In this broadcast it's said that the guest of the week will introduce an acquaintance. It's a rip-off of a certain daytime program. Usually you tell the person in question ahead of time.

"Hmm?"

While thinking that, my cell began vibrating. Why do they know my number......

<nowiki><Hello, is this Amakusa Kanade-san?></nowiki>

Because I had no choice but to go with the flow I reluctantly pushed the call button. The MC's lively voice jumped out.

"Ah......that's right."

It seems the other side is in loudspeaker mode, almost simultaneously with my remarks the speaker repeated it. 

In other words all the students in the school can hear me as I talk.

<nowiki><Are you listening to the current broadcast?></nowiki>

"Yeah."

It's safe. If I refuse gently there's no problem.

<nowiki><Well Amakusa-san, though you are a pervert, why did it extend to doing such a goddamn unpleasant act?></nowiki>

Ku, what a blunt way of speaking. But it's useless, I need to calm down. If I get upset it is what they expect. 

I have to think about my answer and


[CHOOSE ① "Uhehe, I wanted to take off the bottoms in reality" ② "Gehehe, now, what color are your panties?]


......Say that in return?

However, I can't do anything but say it. If a choice appears, there's nothing I can do but say it.

"Uhehe, I wanted to take off the bottoms in reality."

I said it while almost crying. A complaint that differed by not a single word flowed from the speakers.

Here you go MC, I can't expect anything but a counter. If I fend off the gag I might get away with a shallow wound.

<nowiki><......Now, shall I question the two here in earnest?></nowiki>

It is being ignored!

"Wait a minute!"

Though I raised my voice, the call was already cut off.

"......Amakusa, as I thought."

My consciousness is pulled back by the voice of a friend and I looked around the class. The boys are laughing with wry smiles while the girls are pulling back completely.

Aside from the top, it seems the bottom half has exceeded the borderline where they can laugh unenthusiastically.

"No, it's not like that......"

The moment I extended a hand out to explain myself every single girl turned away from me.

"Ahaha......there is no god in this world."

While saying those dangerous words I slammed my face into my desk.

I must dream a dream to access the traffic accident right? Surely my body is in the hospital for quite some time. Yes, I must be there dreaming this unpleasant dream.  But it seems like I'm really here. I wish I was in a parallel word or comic but my common sense says I'm here with women showing the whites of their eyes looking at me. Ufufu.

<nowiki><-----------></nowiki>

The broadcast had been continuing from the speaker all along but I didn't absorb any of it.

Before long it all became white noise as I sank into the sea named escapism.


"Haa!"

<nowiki><Huh......Really?......Indeed></nowiki>

After a few minutes as I came back to the world at last, I could hear the voice of the MC which seemed satisfied.

"So, then because it approaches the end of lunch today......>

The voice gave the impression of wanting to finish early, a desire transmitted clearly. While I was in my trip I didn't follow how the talk with Yuuouji and Yukihira was going. Even with her sharp tongue it was heavy going with those two as opponents.

<nowiki><That's the story of the boil on John's ass in front of an audience.></nowiki>

Did you talk about such a worthless thing!

Following the regretful Yuuouji, Yukihira's voice seemed dignified.

<nowiki><Finally, I have a proposal for you but I wonder if it is good.></nowiki>

<nowiki><Ha, yes, what is it?></nowiki>

The MC seems wary.

<nowiki><First of all, I think the character at the end should be you.></nowiki>

The young woman is saying something strange.

<nowiki><......Ha?......That's......I'm not sure I understand.></nowiki>

<nowiki><The listeners have become used to your, frankly speaking, vicious tongue and mannerism.></nowiki>

The tone of Yukihira was without any feeling in it like always, but what was that? It's almost like there's different emotions in it. It's angry?

<nowiki><By the way, today you made remarks about my chest being undeveloped...... Moreover it was three times.></nowiki>

While I was gone to the other world, there was such a development?

Indeed, Yukihira's chest can't be complimented as abundant. It bothered her.

<nowiki><No, it was part of the material......></nowiki>

<nowiki><Material? It was bad enough that even me who has an easy laugh wasn't able to laugh.></nowiki>

No, you are a person easily provoked to laughter......

<nowiki><Anyway, if you mock other people's tits, you shouldn't think it would end safe and sound.></nowiki>

No, what is with that way of speaking, it sounds like there's another meaning......and be prudent about saying tits.

<nowiki><Therefore the main subject is how to break the inertia, I thought of a plan for a new era. The name is 『Sow MC's  Moe Pig Paradise</nowiki><ref>The term hoihoi is used, which means something that can draw in lots of viewers who love something. In this case people who love Moe.</ref>』.<nowiki>></nowiki>

What is that......incidentally, there are various opinions on the definition and origin of Moe Pig, it is for Otaku's who agonize about beautiful girls in anime and manga.

<nowiki><In response to the master's small erotic request we will turn you into a sow of absolute obedience by doing various things.></nowiki>

No, no, that's late night radio, you can't do that type of stuff during the day on the school broadcast system.

<nowiki><No, that's impossible to choose. It's a school broadcast.></nowiki>

The MC has almost the same impression as me. That's a fairly normal reaction for a person.

<nowiki><You seem to misunderstand something, it's already chosen, sow.></nowiki>

The MC is suddenly treated like a sow.

<nowiki><Now, stupid sharp tongued daughter, shall we being the true sow training?></nowiki>

There was a bang from someone standing up.

<nowiki><Ah, umm, Yukihira-san? Why? Your eyes are scary.></nowiki>

The MC was completely frightened. There was no trace of the poison tongued character remaining.

<nowiki><Yu-Yuuouji-san, please help this person lie down for a bit.></nowiki>

<nowiki>*sleepy breathing*</nowiki>

Seriously, you have the nerve to sleep soundly during a live broadcast. Moreover, you have only stopped talking about the boil on John's ass a minute ago.

<nowiki><Fuaaa......the broadcast has already ended?></nowiki>

<nowiki><Roughly, it ended in a good place Yuuouji-san. Can you press down on the sow here for a moment?></nowiki>

<nowiki><Eh? I don't understand why you want it but yes!></nowiki>

<nowiki><What? Before I knew it my hands were tied behind my back!? Let go!></nowiki>

The MC seems to have been restrained. Yuuouji's physical strength is overwhelming, and a normal girl can't compete against it at all.

<nowiki><Cho, afu, Yuuouji-san what are you doing?></nowiki>

<nowiki> <Hmm, I'm not sure why you are frightened, its just a relaxing massage.> </nowiki>

<nowiki><No, you don't have to do that, just release me......what, just a moment, please stop, I hate it, ahh!></nowiki>

The voice of the broadcaster flowed out. After that the boys, who weren't listening to the broadcast as they chatted with friends, stopped and began to listen attentively.

<nowiki><The sides of Melon melon!></nowiki>

<nowiki><No, wait a moment, there...... I hate, why, is it so good, an!></nowiki>

This is......erotic. It was being broadcast through the entire school. I can't help but say, Yuuouji, do more!	

<nowiki><Aaa, you are unusually sensitive. Ahaha, interesting, interesting!></nowiki>

Yuuouji continued happily.

<nowiki><Ah......stop it......stop!></nowiki>

<nowiki><It's useless sow. This studio is completely locked. Even if you shout and cry, outside help can't reach here.></nowiki>

You, you are the villain here.


<nowiki><Hii......hii......fuu></nowiki>

The training went for a dozens(?) of seconds but in the end the MC lost.

The female MC was ready to talk properly.

As opposed to her, Yukihira was indifferent but nevertheless her voice had a small bit of satisfaction in it.

<nowiki><You bark in a fairly good voice for the first time. That's it sow, keep going.></nowiki>

She declared, there's definitely no next time.

<nowiki><Ahaha, have you gone a bit too far? Her whole body is affected. The supplement drink.....there's none left. She drank all of the 
『AbazurenZ』?></nowiki>

Stooopp!

<nowiki><This can't go any longer. It's unavoidable, should I end it?></nowiki>

Yukihira used a theatrical tone into the microphone.

<nowiki><Everyone listen to this. Starting next week is the new show 『Sow MC Moe Pig Paradise』. In addition, 『Yukihira Furano's All the sows with 
tits bigger than B's should die off』 will be broadcast, so wash your tits and apply young ladies.></nowiki>

<nowiki>*click*</nowiki>

The voice was cut abruptly. Immediately after that random classical music flowed from the speakers.

......This, isn't this what's called a 'broadcasting accident'?

It's awful. It's too awful. Year 2 Class 1 is the called the school's most regrettable class.

The eyes of several classmates were on me. The eyes seem to be saying you are the same to me.

You're wrong, you're all wrong. I'm an ordinary person. Because of these hateful absolute choices, its true I do a few small strange actions, but I'm an ordinary high school boy.

However, calling out in my mind doesn't get consideration. With the awkward atmosphere, I ate the rest of my lunch, but there was no taste 
to it.


As the lunch break was about to end, Yuuouji and Yukihira returned.

"Yah-hoo, I'm back!"

"As a matter of fact its incomprehensible."

Both seem to have been squeezed hard in the staff office.

Yukihira doesn't seem to be reflecting on it and said that with a cool face.

"It's amusing. I thought in this country freedom of expression was allowed."

"Repeatedly calling someone a sow is not freedom of expression!"

"It's a little piggish joke."

"What on earth type of line of jokes is that!"

"Little piggish jokes."

"What black jokes<ref>pun of piggish(my tl) 'butakku' and black 'burakku'</ref> are you saying you feel like!"

"By the way, in case of black piggish jokes, it becomes blackpiggish jokes which isn't easy to say."

"From the bottom of my heart stop, it's good."

"Even the staff members of the broadcasting oinked a complaint."

"Making them feel like a pig by force!"

Yukihira was completing the first stage of the joke when Yuuouji pulled on my sleeve.

"Hey hey Amacchi. Look look!"

In her hand she held some photographs.

"After the broadcast we took some photo's and printed them out."

The first one. Was a picture of the MC with Yuuouji and Yukihira on both sides and was an ordinary picture. It's worrisome that the girl MC's expression is a bit hollow.

I mean, after such a thing, you took a picture......

It continued. The second picture.

"Yuuouji. What's......this."

In it the female MC has a smiling expression of ecstasy while her legs are completely spread in an M shape. Though the angle of the picture doesn't let you see under the skirt, it is a brutal situation.

"Ahaha, after the 『AbazurenZ』 was given she became like this."

"Seriously don't just give love aphrodisiacs!"

It continued in the third picture.

What's this...is it the stagehands of the broadcast club? The four men are queued up uniformly without energy and their faces were ashen.

"Yuuouji......this?"

"Yes, we handed out to everyone 『Life Candy』's 『Chapter of the Postmortem』."

"Fire that fellow immediately!"

"Yes yes, there's one more piece to report."

Like a grade-school kid with something to report, Yuuouji raises her hand while her eyes shine brilliantly.

"Yes, go ahead."

I encouraged her recklessly.

"You know, because I din't want you to have a preconception, it was presumed the Product Development Department made these. Actually the prototypes brought today......"

What? Yuuouji had an unusual pretentious way of talking.

"It was all made by me!"

"It's you?"


Well, even though he knew already, he felt it again anew.

Yukihira Furano and Yuuouji Ouka.

It's natural that they are rejected.