Editing HanTsuki:Volume 1 Chapter 3 (section)

=== 4 ===

The moon, flashing and sneaking up on us intermittently, moved in an exactly prearranged fashion. Before I had come to my own senses, I had already softened the push on the throttle.  The scooter decelerated slowly, the sharp, intense engine sound being devoured by the surrounding silence and blackness, returning to utter silence.

Taking off the safety helmet, I let out a breath I had been holding onto for a long time.

“What’s it?” Rika asked me.

“We’re there,” I replied.

“What?”

“We’re there—the mountain peak.”

It was a space with a diameter of around twenty metres. Blue and white pebbles tightly covered the ground, and there even were a few cars parked around.  
s
When the engine stopped, the world immediately sunk into silence. Since it was the winter, we couldn’t even hear bugs buzzing. On the peak without a single roadside lamp, we entered complete darkness; only the silver, white moonlight shown on the world.

“Is this the peak?” Rika’s voice hinted desperation.

“Is the peak like this?”

The place shown by the moonlight was an empty parking lot, probably different from what appeared in Rika’s memory.   

Getting off the scooter, I said, “Five years ago, after reparation work, this had become the peak. Nevertheless, there’s still a small road to go from here to there.”

“Is that place really the peak?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it far from here?”

“No. Let’s go.”

Hanging the safety helmet on the rear mirror, I stretched out my hand, and Rika held onto it. Holding hands, we began to walk. She was staggering, the knee part of her pajamas dyed in crimson; the blood seemed still flowing out. Rika’s face would often twist in pain, but we didn’t stop. Without any hesitation, we entered a path resembling a monster’s intestine. The winter in this city wasn’t that cold, as the warm current flew from the south. Yet today was exceptionally chilly. The breaths we heaved froze right in front of us, leaving a streak of whiteness bathed in rays, which, after painting a mark upon our eyes and our hearts, faded gradually. 

[[Image:Hantuki01_189.jpg|thumb]]

We continued forward, our hands clasped together. Our footsteps, one by one, marked our advance. We didn’t take too much time, around ten minutes. Should Rika’s feet unwounded, we would need less than five minutes presumably. Once we brushed away the leaves of the fir trees, which still maintained their bright, vivd green colour despite of the winter, a fascinating site met our eyes. The new open site before us were much smaller than that we were before, about just half of that. This place was untouched, though, and the weeds were everywhere, the branches and bushed growing in all directions upon their own wills. 

I stopped walking.

“This is the real peak.”

Rika continued to look around.

To the right...and to the left.

To the right again and to the left again.

Finally, her stare landed on something right before her: a black object lying there. Staggering, she approached the object. Remaining silent, I followed.

That object was the fort. Rika rested her hand on the archaic concrete mash.

“I’ve seen this.”

“Is this the place you and your father came? Is this it?”

“Yes. My father also lifted me up here at that time.”

While I was still wondering whether the darkness of the night had subsided all in a moment, the whole word was embraced in a dazzling glow. The closely packed leaves became more vivid in the light. The weeds grew tall and packed. The flashing sunlight sprayed endless rays on our heads—it was summer back then.

In front of the black fort, the father and the daughter stood shoulder to shoulder, both of them drenched in sweat. The father even had a towel around his neck. The daughter was wearing a refreshing aqua-blue dress. The daughter, the young Rika, stretched her short arms eagerly to hold her father, and her father stretcher his hands under Rika’s shoulders, lifting her petite body to the blue sky. Rika happily smiled; the smile was glistening with glee. Rika’s small legs reached the concrete-made large fort. It was really a large one. The strong summer light shot straight at the archaic fort and Rika, drawing a clear contour of them, their shadows, on the ground. When the wind blew, Rika’s fine hair would sway along. Her father would stare at her, squinting his eyes as if the wind was hitting his eyes. Rika kept her happy smile. 

This fantasy vanished in an instant. When I came back to my senses, the chilly winter air again surrounded me. I, instead of Rika’s father, was along with her.

It was I.

“Rika,” I made up my mind and said, “do you want to go up and have a look?”

“Ah...but...”

“It’s fine. Don’t give me this look. I’m still a young man.”

“Ah!”

Without letting her to reply, I had already held Rika. She was heavier than I had imagined. If I told this to her, she would definitely be infuriated. Hinging on the determination as a man, I lifted Rika up onto the fort stand.

“Rika. Hold that side with your hand.”

“Hm. Okay.”

Sigh. In the end, Rika had to go up with her own willpower. Following her, I grabbed onto the edge of the concrete mash. Stepping on a crack on the wall, I endeavoured to go up.

Once on the stand, the entire village laid below our eyes.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah.”

It was a tiny, really tiny village—a world completely secluded. I knew this place. 

For some time, both of us kept silent, staring at the village in front of us. This way of observation showed the beauty of this place, but perhaps since it was bathed in the moonlight, it was reeking with a vague, dreamy ambiance.  The fire-alarm tower and the wondrous old station were left here. The large building in the front was the cultural exhibition. I could also see some contours of the shopping street completely left desolate today. The side at the station bounced off silver rays from the moonlight. Situated at the heart of the village was a great, vast darkness—the forest of the Ise shrine.

“Eh. Yuuichi,” said Rika, at last.

“What? What’s it?”

“Thanks.”

“W-What do you mean...”

I was a bit flustered to hear her gratitude. It was the first time I heard something like “thank” coming out from Rika’s mouth. I thought she was pulling a prank again, and I braced myself for it, yet what awaited me was Rika’s genuine, simple smile.

“I have prepared myself mentally.”

“Ah?”

“The preparation for death.”

She still had that genuine smile.

“Now I can die in satisfaction.”

At that instant, I felt I fell into the depths of darkness. Until now did I realise everything was on the wrong pages. Rika standing on the rooftop appeared in my mind: “I really want to go there and have a look.” This was what Rika said. “If I do so, would I be mentally prepared as well?” At that time, I didn’t put much thought into what “mentally prepared” meant. I just listened and looked at the certain and positive part of that voice. Perhaps it was the mental preparation for the dangerous operation, or perhaps the mental preparation to keep living. 

The truth was different, however. Rika came here to consolidate the mental preparation for death, the mental preparation to give up her life. I stared at the smiling Rika and stood up. I wanted to say something, but couldn’t say a word. I had worked so hard, troubling Tsukasa and getting rid of Akiko, but what I had done was just letting Rika to be mentally prepared for death.

The half moon glittered. So did the Sirius.

“Did my father come here harbouring the same feeling? My father was here as well...”

When she stopped speaking halfway, something rolled down from her eyes. This something, holding the moon, thus shining, slid down from Rika’s soft cheeks. These glowing pearls spilled endlessly. Cringing sounds sneaked out of Rika’s mouth. There had to be some meaning within Rika’s tears: her father’s death, the memories of her going up this mountain, her heart, the operation...

Now, perhaps Rika were impotent to withstand all of these. I laid my hand on Rika’s head. Words were useless. I could only gently stroke her swaying, beautiful hair. Again and again I stroked. Rika leaned near me. I had stopped thinking. My body acted naturally. Tightly I embraced Rika’s body. Rika, when held within my arms, felt much more petite than I had imagined. This petite body was sorrowful. 

The half moon glittered. So did the Sirius. The brightness shone upon us.

[[Image:Hantuki01_197.jpg|thumb]]

When the wind blew, Rika’s hair would sway along. Her strands of hair reflected the silver moonlight, shimmering. I could barely smell the aroma of shampoo.

For a long time, Rika just cried incessantly.

“The Ise shrine is huge.”

“Yes, but there’s another one to be counted as part of the Ise shrine.”

“Eh? Why’s that?”

The one in front of the station is the outer shrine. The other one is...look, it’s there. Isn’t there a zone especially dim? So as to speak, that one is the real Ise shrine. It’s called the inner shrine.” 

We sat on the fort stand, casting our gaze on the village, chatting stuff about the village. Though what we chatted were trivial matters, we were delighted.

“Why are there two same shrines?”

“I don’t know too. That’s what it is.”

“Won’t it become confusing?”

“Maybe. But anyhow, both of them are called the Ise shrine.” 

“How odd.”

Having cried for a while, Rika became quite lively. Nevertheless, signs of sorrow that hadn’t been wiped were still stained on her cheeks. Every time I noticed them,  I would remember the feeling of having Rika in my arms and her petite body.

“Hey. Yuuichi.”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you take me here?” Rika’s eyes were still damp. “To sneak out of the hospital and anger that nurse...won’t you find much trouble for yourself?”

She was right. I would meet a dismal end, bound to be killed by Akiko upon returning to the hospital. When this came in mind, a chill would creep over my body. In spite of this, I told Rika optimistically, “My father told me that I had to safeguard girls.” 

The truth was different, however.

“You’ll meet a girl you love in the near future. Listen carefull: you have to safeguard her.”

This was what he really said. What the heck? I really staunchly followed my father’s advice. My cheeks felt a bit hot.

“Oh. Your father really speaks reasonable advice.”

For our surroundings were dark, Rika seemed not to have caught me lying.

My face should have been red and puffed by now.

“Not quite. My father’s very irresponsible. He drinks and gambles. He had truly been a sucker.”

Rika was a smart and bright girl, and she noticed my subtle way of expressing myself.

“Had been?” <!-- before -->

I tried to make it clear and simple: “He was dead long ago. He destroyed his body with alcohol.”

Sometime back then, when I went out to play in the midnight and came back, Tsukasa once said to me, ““I think it’s a wonder why you, even knowing that Rika is so unruly, are willing to keep her company.”

At that time, I intentionally interrupted Tsukasa’s words, for I knew very clear what that bloke wanted to say.

Rika’s father and my father had passed away. This kind of ambience and this kind of similar experiences hold us together, for our ‘fathers’ were replaced by ‘the deceased, unable to be at our sides. This fact was residing in both of our hearts.

At that time, I didn’t want to acknowledge this...

Because of my stupid father, I would be attractive to Rika.

Because of my stupid father, Rika would hold a special feeling towards me.

By no means did I want to acknowledge this.

Since a small age, I hated my father, for whatever my father did would make my mother cry. Back then, I should have a special loving relation with my mother. Anyhow, to the young me, my father was no different from an enemy. 

Then, when I had the power to resist, my enemy plainly left. He was really a guy who left after winning. 

My father’s voice still rang from the depths of my heart: “You’ll meet a girl you love in the near future. Listen carefull: you have to safeguard her.”

What a truly dumb father, dying carelessly. What privilege had he earned to deploy me?

“So that’s why you brought me here.”

The smile faded away from Rika’s face.

In some strange way, I felt her expression hinted regret.

“You brought me here because you haven’t a father as well, Yuuichi.”

I thought I heard a screeching sound, a sound exactly the same when Tsukasa approached me with kittens in his arms. Probably it was the sound made from wheels turning in the wrong direction.

She had mistaken. Rika seemed to have mistaken for something. Although I wasn’t sure or it was or probably I wouldn’t want to make sure of it, there was, indeed, something mistaken. Now, something slipped from my hands.

I put my all to remedy this. I held her hands firmly. 

“No. No! This has nothing to do with that! It doesn’t mind what business I had with my father...It’s that...I...”

I had to tell her: you have mistaken. At the beginning, both of us were interested, for we hadn’t our fathers, thus having the same ambience. But now things were different. This was not the only reason I would do this. I would never, for this reason, dare to drive Akiko nuts and run all the way here. There was something much more important residing in some sector of my heart that...

“I’m...I...”

“Yuuichi?”

“I...”

Weird. I felt dizzy, my head reeling. A strange and heavy weariness grew in my body. The power that had driven me onwards till now seemed to have disappeared suddenly. I felt I was about to kneel down, my vision sliding subsequently. Although my knees abruptly hit on the fort stand, I felt no pain. Rika called my name, and her voice left me gradually.

This was as far as my memory could manage to record. My consciousness was cut off then with a banging sound.


<noinclude>
===Translation Notes===

<references/>

{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Back to [[HanTsuki:Volume_1_Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
| Return to [[Hanbun_no_Tsuki_ga_Noboru_Sora|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[HanTsuki:Volume_1_Epilogue|Epilogue]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>