Editing Mushi Uta:Volume 1st Episode 04 (section)

===Part 4===

“…”

In the hospital room suffused with the morning rays, Mari was gazing out of the window in a stupor.

She had not managed to sleep for even a second.

Although her body felt weak, her mental condition was in even greater disarray. Her thoughts were paralysed and she could not even think about anything at all.

[[File:Mushi Uta Bug 1st p219.jpg|thumb]]

As the time for morning consultation approached, the attending doctor came into the room. He may have seen the extreme drop in number of tablets in the glass bottle, causing him to have a look of startle on his face.

“I tried to pour one out, but many more spilled out… I threw away those which fell onto the ground.”

Still looking out of the window, Mari spoke lifelessly like a doll, only moving her mouth.

Although the attending doctor was further surprised when Mari spoke, he did not probe further. However, he did draw some blood which had never happened before.

After the attending doctor left, she felt a presence inside the devoid room.

“Why…”

Mari uttered.

“Why didn’t you stop me…? You already knew the consequence of what I did, didn’t you…?”

At Mari’s questions, the young man in white coat did not answer.

He had tried repeatedly to stop her.

He had always attempted to dissuade Mari from going out on her ''hunt''. It was just that Mari had never lent an ear to him.

In the solemn room, time flowed ceaselessly.

When afternoon arrived, a knock sounded in the room where only Mari was around.

“…Come in.”

Mari welcomed the visitor with a smile.

“Good afternoon!”

It was Ichinokuro Arisu with the usual bright smile on her face. Mari smiled back to her.

“Guess what. Even though you didn’t have any special request, I feel bad coming empty-handed all the time. That’s why, today I brought something for you.”

Sitting on the visitor’s seat casually, Arisu held out a large bag.

“Thank you.”

While grinning happily, Mari gave her thanks.

I have no rights to meet with her… no rights to be waiting for her—.

With those thoughts, Mari no longer felt any unease when she welcomed Arisu unlike before.

Even if someday Arisu decides not to come anymore, I would not hate her. I wouldn’t feel sad either—.

After all, that’s only to be expected.

Having deprived other people of their engagements, Mari couldn’t be the only one to continue meeting Arisu. It was only fitting for her to be living in solitude as well.

“''Wawaa'', sorry!”

When Arisu opened the bag, the contents scattered all over the bed.

A large quantity of paper spilled before the surprised Mari. They were all dated, with the latest one bearing the title, ‘Notice on the recent frequent explosion incidents’.

“These are the letters of notice handed out by the school since the first semester. Mari didn’t receive a single one, right? See this, this was the previous cultural festival’s programme list. Our class did a cafe. And then those boys completely revealed their perverted side when we were choosing the costume—”

While collecting the paper sheets, Arisu explained.

“This is…?”

Mari held up a notebook she randomly plucked out from the mess.

“Ah, that’s not supposed to be here. That’s today’s Math assignment. I thought I’d start on it when I return home.”

“…Can I see it?”

“Eh? Sure, go ahead.”

Flipping through the pages, she looked at the questions under today’s date. Mari could understand the contents just barely even with her level of knowledge. In fact, the hardest part was trying to decipher that unique cursive handwriting.

“…Ah.”

Mari lifted her head.

Arisu had seized the notebook back from Mari. She closed the notebook wordlessly and place it back into her bag.

“Arisu?”

“…Sorry.”

Arisu closed her bag and stood up from the seat.

“Your complexion doesn’t look so good today. How to say it, you look like you’re suffering.”

At these words, Mari jerked in surprise. She had not slept a single wink last night, and she also barely touched her breakfast and lunch. Her body condition was undoubtedly at its worst today.

“Aah, I’m so slow, only noticing so late. …I’ll return home for today. Have a good sleep and let your body rest.”

Saying so, she smiled ashamedly.

“Ah—”

Mari quickly opened her mouth.

It was her own fault that she felt terrible, Arisu did not have to feel bad.

But, those words were not for someone like her to say.

However, when Mari thought about how lonely she would be after Arisu left, she could not help but open her mouth.

Arisu turned around with a, ‘Nn?’.

“Will you… still come by?”

At Mari’s words, Arisu’s expression became firm.

But then, a look of joy flashed across her face such that it almost looked like she was sparkling.

“I’ll come by tomorrow!”

Giving a thumbs-up to Mari, Arisu left.

She heard the sound of the door closing.

And then, silence.

“…”

Mari looked over the papers she held on her hands.

Parsing through the papers, she saw that each of them was marked with pens of many different colours. On the piece of paper about the programme list of the cultural festival Arisu was talking about, there was a, ‘Like hell I’m wearing this!’, written. The arrow at which that phrase pointed to, was a miniskirt costume that did not even bother to hide the lascivious thoughts of the boys at all.

Mari burst into laughter unconsciously. She could imagine Arisu scribbling these during lesson, hidden from the view of the teacher.

“She’s a good girl.”

Out of nowhere, the young man in white coat appeared on the seat.

“…”

Mari’s laughter faded.

Just what am I—.

Wandering between the land of the living and the dead, wanting to live even if it meant depriving others of their dreams.

Just what do I want to do…?

A strange feeling was born in Mari’s heart.

This feeling that she felt for the first time, perhaps it was the feeling known as ‘joy’.

Being visited by Arisu and conversing with her brought Mari tremendous joy.

“Hey.”

With her gaze still on the papers, Mari muttered.

The young man looked toward Mari.

“From tomorrow… can you help me with studies.”

Hearing Mari’s request, the young man widened his eyes slightly.

“Because the only thing I can do to repay her is to lend her a helping hand for her assignments…”

Mari looked at the young man and said in a soft voice.

The young man smiled joyfully, as though he felt happy from the bottom of his heart.

“I’d be glad to.”

—See you tomorrow.

It’s okay even if it was a lie.

It’s okay even if she was betrayed someday.

Mari finally understood for the first time the true joy of hearing those words.

Starting the next day, Mari began to study.

In the morning, Mari pulled out the textbook from the back of the bookshelf. It was brand new, not been opened even once.

Mari had also not held a pencil for a very long time as well. As her condition was not at its best, she sat on her bed with the notebook propped up.

“It’s a good thing that you want to study, but don’t overdo it, okay?”

Seeing Mari coughing, the young man in white coat said.

“I’ll be alright.”

She replied with a smile. But, her condition couldn’t possibly have improved much since yesterday. Although she still felt some discomfort in her left chest, she did not reach out for the tablets.

By the time she decided where to start from as well as settle on a schedule to follow, the morning was almost over. She continued to study Mathematics till it was noon, when Arisu visited.

“Good afternoon!”

Arisu arrived at the usual time.

As Arisu shared about the events that happened in school, Mari queried if she had any assignment for today. Arisu revealed a look of puzzlement as she replied that she did not. Although Mari felt a bit of regret, she immediately changed to another topic.

Arisu seemed like she just remembered and shared about herself. Such as how she suffered during her martial arts practice every morning, and what primary school did she graduated from et cetera.

Similar, Mari shared her own circumstances. About how she belonged to a house that was a master in flower arrangement or that she did not had any siblings. And also, about the primary school she attended before her condition worsened.

After they finished telling each other about themselves, the conversation naturally came to a halt.

Before they noticed, it was already night-time and visitation hours were over.

“What’s the matter, Mari?”

Arisu questioned with a puzzled look.

But, Mari was looking at the nightscape behind her—her gaze glued to the ring of light which dispelled the darkness of the night.

It was a Ferris wheel.

Speaking of which, Arisu had mentioned that before to Mari. At the plaza near the coastline, a new Ferris wheel was being built. With the construction proceeding smoothly, it seemed that the company had decided to light up the Ferris wheel until its completion as advertisement.

“Isn’t it beautiful, that Ferris wheel…”

Unconsciously, Mari muttered.

Till now, only a vast expanse of darkness could be seen beyond the window, but currently, it looked as if a gigantic flower had bloomed. The brilliant light show drew Mari’s attention to it like moths to a flame.

“Then, let’s go together when you are discharged!”

Her face beaming, Arisu exclaimed.

Discharged—.

A throbbing pain struck her heart.

Arisu did not seem to have realised it.

About how hopelessly far that dazzling ring of light appeared to be in Mari’s eyes.

“…Yea.”

Supressing her feelings, Mari narrowed her eyes.

“It’s a promise.”

Their smiles overlapped.

The following day, Mari continued her studies.

It appears that Mari was able to digest new knowledge quickly. In addition, she also had a good memory.

On the other hand, Arisu was weak in studying. In less than a month, Mari’s academic abilities had already surpassed that of Arisu.

“I can’t believe it…”

Arisu said while feeling gobsmacked.

Mari’s notebook and textbooks laid at the side of her bed.

She finally had a chance show off the fruits of her studying. When Arisu mentioned about the difficulties she faced with her assignments, Mari had offered her a helping hand.

The problems which caused Arisu to groan for hours were easily solved by Mari.

“You need to use this here…”

As Mari tried to explain to her, Arisu turned red as she frantically tried to find an excuse.

“I-I can also do it if I just put my mind to it! It’s just that I hate this subject, if not I wouldn’t even need to attend remedial lessons—”

“You… need remedial lessons?”

“''Uu…''”

Mari who kept up her studies.

Arisu who visited Mari every day without fail.

Their personalities may be the exact opposite of each other, nonetheless, that might be why they got along so well.

In contrast to Mari who thought things through rationally, Arisu was the kind of person to takes action without much thought. But, it was precisely this simple-mindedness about Arisu that Mari liked about her.

Mari’s nightly getaway from the hospital had also stopped ever since that night.

Just because of Arisu, Mari’s everyday life took on a noticeable change.

“…”

On a certain afternoon, Mari twisted her face at the pain in her left chest.

“Mari!”

The young man who had been teaching her reached out to her in panic.

She felt her chest being constricted and her breathing became rough.

Mari quickly reached out for the glass bottle on the shelf, but then she stopped. —The number of tablets in the bottle had not decreased since a month ago.

It’s alright… at this level, it will settle down in no time. Just like usual…

She composed herself, taking deep breathes. After a while, the palpitations stopped.

“I’m okay. It has already stabilized.”

“Really?”

“Yea, it’s just a bit of pain in my chest. Lately, I’ve been feeling great.”

Mari gave a smile to the young man, causing him to sigh in relief.

“Is that so… hopefully, there’d be some promising results in today’s check-up.”

Ever since the night Mari misused the tablets, she could feel her body gradually recovering. Even her hands felt like they had regained the grip strength she had in the past. However, she would still feel a seizure-like pain in her chest once in a while. Even so, it would always calm down after a while, and she feel to be in good condition otherwise.

At this rate, perhaps I can—.

The faint expectation caused her chest to heat up.

I can go to school together with Arisu…?

Thinking about such matters, her heart soared.

However, her smile disappeared immediately.

“Mari…?”

Despite seeing a ray of hope for the first time in her life, Mari could not simply chase after it.

Ever since that night, she had been thinking deeply.

“I… Is it okay for me to be together with Arisu as it is?”

The young man creased his eyebrows.

Grasping her chest, Mari bit her lips.

I have deprived so many of their dreams… despite all that, does someone like me even have the right to dream about the future—.

“If my illness could be cured, do I still have the rights to search for happiness…?”

Mari stared at the young man. A pain different from that of her illness assailed her heart.

“Mari.”

The young man’s expression softened.

“That is your dream, isn’t it?”

Mari jolted.

Her shoulders shook and her sight turned blurry.

“Can it… come true…? My dream… really…?”

The young man nodded.

I… want to live—.

That was Mari’s dream which she had known from the start would not come true.

But now, it might be possible for her to see the continuation of her dream.

“Thank you, Sensei<ref>“Sensei” is a respectful way of referring to a doctor in Japanese. It may also refer to one’s master or other professions such as teachers, politicians etc.</ref>…”

Mari thanked him with a trailing voice.

“Sensei?”

“To thank you for teaching me… and also because you are going on to become a great doctor, right? That’s why, I’ll call you Sensei from now on…”

He had a proper name, but Mari chose not to call him by that. As she spoke, her voice was tinged with the sound of sobbing.

To Mari who wept soundlessly, Sensei seemed to shine so brightly.

—In the evening.

“Welcome back, Mari.”

Arisu greeted Mari who had just returned from her periodic check-up.

“I’m back.”

Mari returned the smile.

As usual, Arisu placed her assignments on the bed while they talked. As they chatted engrossedly, they even forgot about the questions and visitation hours was over in no time.

“Hey, this may be a weird question, but.”

Arisu who stood up from the seat inquired Mari with some hesitation.

“Eh?”

“Is there some other person visiting you apart from me?”

Mari tilted her head in thought. There shouldn’t have been anyone else who visited her other than Arisu.

“Why do you ask?”

“Once in a while, I can feel some warmth on the seat. It’s like as if someone was just sitting on it moments ago.”

Arisu had a look of wonder on her face.

Finally understanding what this was about, Mari grinned slyly. It must have been the body warmth left by the young man in white coat.

“…Hey, Arisu.”

After thinking for a while, Mari looked up at Arisu.

“I have a request… Is that alright?”

“So, it finally comes! Hit me with anything!”

Arisu leaned forwards in delight, after all, Mari had always declined any get-well gifts from her.

“There is something I want. However, that is not something I want for myself… instead, I have a favour to ask of you.”

With these words as a preface, Mari requested of Arisu. At first, Arisu was a bit puzzled, then she simply agreed.

“Well then, see you tomorrow!”

The next day, as Mari requested, Arisu brought a small box.

Mari took the box and very carefully hid it under the blanket.

When night came and Arisu left, Mari waited for Sensei.

Now that she thought about it, this was the first time she was waiting for his visit. Sitting in the dimly lit room, Mari thought of what to say to him.

—Hey, Sensei. What do you think about this?

First, she would show Sensei the box. Surely, he would not be able to tell what is it for at first. Just imagining the inquisitive look he would have caused a smile to widen across Mari’s face.

While waiting, before Mari even realised, she had fallen asleep.

“Nn…”

Sensing the presence of somebody, Mari opened her eyes.

Looking at the clock, she found that it was already deep in the night. Raising her upper body, she found the figure of Sensei blending into the darkness.

“You’re late today, Sensei…”

Mari rubbed her eyes and smiled. Secretly groping under the blanket, she felt the sensation of the box.

“Y-yea…”

However, the young man was averting his eyes away from Mari.

Looking at his mannerism, Mari felt a sense of unease. She immediately realised the source of her unease.

All this time when he was by her side, he had never once looked away from Mari. No matter whether it was when she felt depressed due to hollowness of her life, or when she threw her temper out of irritation, he had always looked straight at her.

“…Hey, Sensei. I can’t see your face from here, why don’t you come closer.”

Mari directed her words at the young man who stood amidst the shadows. But, he look like he was struck by hesitation.

''Tokun, tokun''—Mari could hear the sound of her heartbeat hasten. Even when she stared at Sensei until her eyes went dry, she could not blink.

Mari’s hunch made her recall about one matter.

“The report for yesterday’s periodic check-up was released today…”

She saw his shoulders trembled.

“Tell me the result. Please, Sensei…”

Sensei did not speak a word, only maintaining his silence

From his taciturnity, Mari could already infer the results of the check-up.

—See you tomorrow!

Arisu’s smiling face came into her mind before disappearing right after.