Editing City Series:Volume5a Chapter11 (section)

===Beretta’s Journal===

Today, I am writing this in the school library. The break begins tomorrow and we only have to come in for exams, so this will be my last time here. But, man, this week since the festival has been crazy, what with Phillip being reassessed in a positive way and Rosetta’s hidden popularity going way up.

Since Phillip doesn’t like all the attention, he hasn’t come to see me since, but I feel like that’s only drawing more attention to him. Not that I mind either way.

Anyway, I’ve had to think about all sorts of things. Like what I’m supposed to do about all this.

Writing it down gives me a clearer view, but everyone else has such a solid grip on things.

Mallette says she plans on helping with the family business once she graduates. That’s why she’s in the economics department. As a Jew, her family is only allowed to exist because they pay a hefty tax.

Rosetta has begun doing a lot of studying in an attempt to become human.

Phillip is working to protect people as a Lourd de Écrivain.

I’m jealous. I’m the only one that feels so lost. I fought in those Heavy Barrels to find out what I am as a Knight Striker, but I feel like I only learned that I’m lagging behind everyone else.

To be honest, I really don’t want to Write Bring into a Heavy Barrel for the rest of my two and a half months in France.

In that Heavy Barrel battle, I learned Phillip is on another level entirely and is facing a completely different direction from me.

Phillip moved to protect me without even thinking about the consequences. And I’m sure he would have done the same even if it wasn’t me. He’s true to himself when it comes to that. While I can’t bring myself to move because I’m agonizing over issues of responsibility, he immediately acts because that’s what he wants to do.

He’s the kind of person the term Knight Striker points to.

And Heinz Berge really was powerful.

The duty of a Knight Striker is to protect others. But if you view a Heavy Barrel as a weapon, it becomes a tool of killing. If you aren’t powerful, you can’t protect anyone. But that power can hurt people.

Heinz Berge does not fear that paradox.

Instead of protecting and winning, he prefers to attack and achieve victory despite some damage. It looks like his stance is to protect the most people in the long run.

But I want to protect the people right in front of me. That desire was defeated by Heinz Berge’s overwhelming strength. If that had been a true battlefield, I would have failed to protect anyone.

In France, everything is established by what is written. And writing requires a will.

I kind of thought that I could win if my willpower was great enough. And since he has had a Psyche Outer surgery, Heinz Berge can’t use his Over Emblem.

But I couldn’t beat him. Everything about me is weak and everything about him is strong. My will to protect was inferior to Phillip’s and my attack power as a Knight Striker was inferior to Heinz Berge’s.

At the very least, I see no reason for me to Write Bring into a Heavy Barrel here in France.

There are two opponents I could not beat in a fight. That’s twice the loss.

And based on the records, Phillip will be killed by Heinz Berge on August 1.

Even his will to protect cannot defeat that attack power.

Which of us is the correct form of a Knight Striker? I think Phillip has it right on the ideological level, but Heinz Berge can produce the results.

I doubt any Knight Striker can defeat Heinz Berge. He really is the strongest one. And if so, I have my answer.

Not every Knight Striker can protect people.

If a power is great enough, you can lose to it. That must be how it always was. I thought I could protect someone, but I don’t have the power or will to crush someone to achieve that.

I wonder what my grandma thought about this. What did she think while Write Bringing into Heavy Barrels in Paris before the First Format?

And what does Heinz Berge think about being a Knight Striker? And if the Psyche Outer surgery has left him without emotions, then what was it that led him to participate in the Panzer Ritter Project?

And why did Jack McWild decide to start the Attesor Project? Why did he try to make the strongest Barrel and why did he abandon that project?

What does it mean to be strong?

What does it mean to protect?

I can’t talk to anyone else about this since they all see me as a Knight Striker from America. This is difficult to deal with, but…but what is it I want to do?

<The clock says it is 4:47 PM.>

At the moment, it seems I want to go home, but what am I supposed to do about all this?