Editing Dark Elf:Volume1 Chapter1 (section)

===Part 5===

Klaus fell over.

His leg was caught. The trap had lodged itself into the sides of his right shin just a bit above the ankle. The trap was made from a pair of jagged metal panels shaped like the letter D. It was about the size of a straw hat folded in two. He doubted he could extricate his leg just by moving it around.

He heard a jangling sound. The dark elf hunters’ beartrap was attached to a chain that was staked into the ground. The chain was less than a meter long.

“Ow…”

Once he started focusing on the word beartrap, the reality caught up to him. The pain was unusual, feeling more like pressure on the bone than the flesh and blood. It was far worse than having your fingertip crushed by a thick pair of pliers.

Pain exploded inside him, but experiencing a new form of violence for the first time was even worse.

His mind demanded he shout in a rage, like a small child stung by a bee for the first time. He gathered all of his willpower to avoid obeying the demand.

This was the end.

There were some problems people could not solve on their own. The sense of loneliness reared its ugly head once more.

“Ow, agh, bwah!? What…the hell!? It’s stabbing into me? Gwargh!!!!”

He curled up on his side, but that did nothing to relieve the pain. In fact, the pain only grew. It was like having a leg cramp but your body was too stiff to reach your big toe. He gathered what little strength he had left to face reality. He bent his leg and reached trembling hands toward the beartrap.

It was hard.

It was solid. It was a spring-loaded trap, but he had a hard time believing this part was made to move. It didn’t even budge, like it had been welded solid in this configuration. He considered slipping his fingers in the crack to pry it open, but he was afraid he would either cut his fingers on the jagged metal or get them caught in there with his leg.

Back when he picked up the earring, he had feared he would not find another metal product. He wanted to laugh at his past self for being so foolish.

He heard a slight sound.

It was a rustling of leaves he had not noticed before. Were the dark elf hunters approaching? No, that was not just a careless footstep. Someone had intentionally thrown a pebble to see how he reacted.

They already knew someone had been caught in the trap. And what if they realized he was unlikely to resist?

He shuddered.

He had a sudden flashback to all those torches surrounding him and the smoke irritating his eyes and nose so badly. But nothing he did helped remove the beartrap that was so solid he suspected it was locked like this.

He grabbed the thick chain and pulled. It was only held in place by the metal stake driven into the ground, but that wasn’t budging either. He guessed it was connected to a large stone or something buried underground.

“''Ko pevw kixo vworrog aq uw. Vapoaqo ja rufm vapo kotdv hat kup.''”

“''B-bov, pi’ip! Yo fiq’w now wkuv ja numo nivw wupo. Yo qoog wa jow kup wa vihowb.''”

He heard voices from beyond the bushes. Voices he recognized. It was weird how familiar they could be when he didn’t understand the language, but his mind figured it out from the pitch and intonation.

He was about to be killed.

He knew that, but he still nearly wept with joy. The loneliness was fading.

But he couldn’t just cry. He felt some kind of pressure slowly approaching.

Were they still checking on what they had caught? Or had they already deemed it safe and were moving in for the kill?

He felt so dizzy from fear he forgot all about the pain in his leg.

If the dark elves surrounded him with bows and machetes and he couldn’t even move, he really was done for. The fear of the fire and smoke crept back into his mind. He couldn’t stop the tears when faced with that. The smoke brought the tears and snot out all on its own.

“Gh…”

If he could not escape through normal means, then he would have to use the one trick he had up his sleeve: magic.

But he couldn’t use magic emptyhanded. His magic required a magic derivative.

He could produce the power itself within his body, but he couldn’t control it well without that.

He dragged his trapped leg to reach a nearby Witch Pumpkin measuring a meter across. But he could not break through its skin with his fingernails, his fists, or even a stone from the ground. Its skin was as think as a shield, so he could not even dig out the stem at the top.

The footsteps were closing in. His heart was hammering so hard he wanted to scream, but he resisted the urge and looked to the side. Another large object sat alongside the Witch Pumpkin. The red object was an equally-large Ghost Turnip. He was pretty sure that was a root vegetable, but it had lived so long it was sticking out of the ground.

The pumpkin was not the only magic derivative he could use.

Ghost Turnips worked as well. But he did not want to eat the entire meter-long vegetable. For one thing, he couldn’t. They were just as cruelly tough as the Witch Pumpkins.

But Ghost Turnips did not have stems.

Instead, they had strange blue flowers fluttering at the very top. Technically, it was the part below the flowers he needed, but he did not have time to make the distinction. He stretched the chain as far as it would go and ate it, flowers and all. His throat tried to reject it, but he forced it down.

The base of a vegetable’s stem came from the calyx that supported the flower from below.

He was all fueled up now, so he looked elsewhere.

…''I’m ready, so I need a target! Something unscathed would hide me better!!

Klaus spoke through the bitter flavor lingering in his mouth.

“Of the three traits, I choose salt. Cucurbitaceae, annual, ornamental, monoecious, creeper. I have grasped thy nature like counting the corners of a polygon or star. The polygon emanates and the star gathers – together they symbolize the control of power. By knowing thee, I become one with thee.”

Still caught in the beartrap, he crouched down and drew a square in the leaves on the ground. He was afraid of digging into the dirt below, so he used a light touch. He used the accurate square to picture the four elements and stood within that imagined magic circle. The symbols were only meant to aid his understanding, so drawing out a more complicated magic circle would be meaningless if he didn’t understand what it meant. But if he did understand, then no complicated circle was necessary. He used the four elements to grasp the three traits and linked heaven to earth. The solid metal trap got in the way of the simple motions, but he got through it.

“Camouflize Decoration – now I am thee!!”

''He could use magic.

''And now had to be the right time!!

The white explosion produced steam, not smoke.

That symbolized the superhuman powers wielded by humans, but this was not a physical phenomenon. He had used magic. And once that illusionary steam cleared away, the skinny boy was no longer there.

Only a plump orange object.

It looked like a round stone more than a meter long, but it was actually a Witch Pumpkin. But it was too big to eat. It was an ornamental variety, so it was not meant to be made into potage and eaten. It had no face, arms, or legs and the lack of legs meant it had nothing to be caught in the beartrap.

With nothing in its jaws anymore, the beartrap violently snapped fully shut. The explosion of steam had also blown away the magic circle drawn in the leaves.

(Damn, I’m screwed if they figure out this is me.)

Camouflize was a camouflage magic.

It was the one and only magic Klaus Knockburn could use. He could not shoot fire from his hand and he could not fly, but he could still ''transform'' into any lifeform.

Camouflaging himself as a Witch Pumpkin that resembled a colorful rock had freed him from the trap, but he was not out of the woods yet. The dark elves were drawing close.

If they discovered his secret, they would cook him alive.

He could not trust any of them except for his wife-to-be. Not even Little Girl who had been hiding behind her mother’s back.

(I’m dead if they see me move! I don’t know how animals move well enough to trick a hunter, so I chose to camouflage myself as a Witch Pumpkin that doesn’t move in the first place. So I can’t afford to move now!!)

A ponytailed dark elf wearing bright white leather and armed with a large bow emerged from the bushes unexpectedly nearby. He recognized her as Leader. She had plenty of pure gold and red gems on her ordinary clothing, so were those things not considered as valuable among dark elves as among humans?

“''Ok?''”

She was alone and she looked down at the ground in confusion.

Witch Pumpkins did not have lungs or a heart, but his pulse was running wild in his mind.

Leader slowly bent over, placed a hand on her knee, and pulled an arrow from the quiver at her hip. After a moment of thought, she poked the metal arrowhead against the thing lying on the ground.

“''Wko wtir yiv vrteqj? Ykiw gaov wkiw poiq?''”

She was focused on the beartrap, not the colorful Witch Pumpkin or the magic circle.

She seemed to find it odd the trap was shut with nothing in it. That was understandable. If a wild animal had gotten its leg caught, it never could have pulled its leg out by force. Not many things would get caught in the trap yet find a way to remove it and escape.

However.

(Oh, wow!)

Klaus Knockburn’s focus was elsewhere.

The serious-looking dark elf had bent over to view the unnatural beartrap. Without noting the presence of the Witch Pumpkin nearby. That was supposed to be what he wanted, but there was a problem. She had bent over with her back to him. Now, close your eyes and imagine what that positioning would mean.

It was right there in front of his eyes.

The blue leather miniskirt was so close he could hear it creaking. Dark elves were supposed to be so rare you were lucky to catch a glimpse of one while deep in the woods, but this one’s round butt was hovering mere centimeters from his face. It filled up his entire field of view!

(Oh, wow, wow, wow!! Wait, no, I swear this wasn’t on purpose! But I can’t even apologize like this. She’d kill me!!)

From this close up, he noted some details he hadn’t before. About her bow, not her butt. It was a composite bow made from multiple woods and animal tendon. That thing could kill a bear even without poison. Frankly, it was nicer than the bows used by the royal capital’s mercenaries. He could not underestimate them just because they lived deep in the woods. They had used these tools for ages, so they had built up a lot of experience. They had developed the technology they needed. That was all the more reason he couldn’t let her find him. Which meant he couldn’t warn her about her butt.

“''Mouqi!''”

The giant Witch Pumpkin nearly jumped from the ground in surprise.

That call had not come from ponytailed Leader. Another dark elf – the one he called Curvy – had arrived, placed her hands on her hips, and called out to Leader. And…

“''Bae’nn gipijo baet ittayv wkiw yib. Wtoiw wkop yuwk pato fito iqg gaq’w ivvepo uw’v viho levw dofievo uw’v rauvaqog.''”

“''V-vattb, Neodonn!!''”

[[Image:Dark_Elf_v01_bw1.png|thumb]]

(Oh, Leader is bowing toward Curvy. Did she show up first because she’s only a scout? C-could she actually be really low level?)

It looked like Curvy was actually higher ranking.

Klaus seriously considered changing his name for Leader, but he felt like that would only confuse him when he was reviewing his memories or his notes later on. He decided it was best to stick with the original name he gave her.

And he had bigger things to worry about anyway.

“''U mqay bae’to yattuog. Uw uv iq opotjoqfb ihwot inn. Dew wkiw uv ykoq hannayuqj wko heqgipoqwinv piwwotv pavw. Wko pavw giqjotaev papoqw uv ykoq bae navo baet witjow’v wtiun.''”

“''U toinnb ip vatt- mbik!?''”

Leader lost her balance and fell onto her butt in a surprisingly cute way.

And she did so on top of the large round stone. No, on top of the giant orange Witch Pumpkin.

Her wonderfully sexy butt fell right onto Klaus.

(Bgweh!? Th-that’s my face! She’s got all sorts of wonderful stuff right there in my face!!)

This particular pumpkin had human senses and a human mind. He had to do this to survive, but guilt still filled his chest(?). And as bad as he felt – and he did feel bad – he couldn’t deny that he was enjoying this very much, goddess dammit!! He blamed all the rotten luck he’d been having lately. This bit of luck felt blindingly bright by comparison!!

It took all his willpower to avoid accidentally dispelling the camouflage.

He could not lose focus. He couldn’t!!

(Don’t let this tempt you! I-I-I-I-I already have a wife. Just think what would happen to Slender if I ditched her and left her all alone! Are you going to doom her to a life of comforting herself below the covers at night!? When dark elves live so very long!?)

(Unlike his first impression of her) Leader showed no caution whatsoever. She did not bother standing back up and simply rubbed her thighs together while using the large Witch Pumpkin as a bench. This brand new experience for Klaus Knockburn was going to last a while longer.

“''I-idaew wkiw doitwtir.''”

“''U mqay ykiw bae poiq. Oxoq wko hatovw iqupinv noitq, va u gaedw iqb ah wkop yaeng jow fiejkw qayigibv. U inva gaedw wkob faeng ovfiro aq wkout ayq.''”

He was passionate about his dark elf research, but he was extremely unsure if he should talk about this warmth, weight, and roundness in his paper. The principles of the public good and of personal privacy warred in his mind. He was also hesitant to let the world know he had gotten his first face full of ass before his first kiss. In what world was that the proper order of things!?

(A-anyway. I think I’m successfully hiding from them. If I stay still, they might just leave without ever noticing me.)

That was when he sensed some killer intent approaching him like ripples. No, Klaus did not have the skills of a martial artist or assassin. This was coming from his ordinary senses.

Something small was crawling along the green carpet of moss. A whole line of them. Each individual one was a small bug the size of a grain of risotto rice, but his throat(???) went dry when he realized what they were.

They were termites.

He had said Witch Pumpkins could not be used for food, but that only applied to humans. It didn’t apply to termites that could eat through the trunk of a tree. And his camouflage was perfect, so they hadn’t noticed he wasn’t really a pumpkin!

“''Kuv vfoqw uv inva i rtadnop.''”

“''Bov. Ykb ga kepiqv ftoiwo wkavo vwtiqjo vfoqwv iqg vrtib wkop inn axot wkout vmuq iqg kiut? Uw pimov wkop va oivb wa wtifm uq wko hatovw.''”

“''Wko vyoow vfoqwv ito wko yatvw. U toinnb karo ko uvq’w iwwifmog db i yung doit at vapowkuqj.''”

“''Wko hatovw ftoiwetov yunn rtadidnb wtb wa ixaug kup. Karohennb ko fiq iw noivw ifseuto gtuqmuqj yiwot aq kuv ayq, dew ko yaq’w nivw naqj yuwkaew iqbwkuqj wa oiw. Yo qoog wa kettb.''”

(How long are you going to chat!? And I can’t understand a word of it!)

Leader and Curvy were having some kind of serious discussion with the former seated on the Klaus pumpkin and the latter standing, but he really wished they would just leave. If he took the time to appreciate the weight of the defenseless dark elf’s soft butt, the termites would reach him. An entire swarm of termites were marching his way!! He could not underestimate them just because they were small bugs. Their mandibles could hollow out a house’s pillars, so they would eat right through the hard pumpkin and end his life. He would be torn apart by those puny bugs, eaten by them, and expelled all across the forest as droppings smaller than sesame seeds. He would know they were slowly chewing through him starting from one end, but he would be killed without even the chance to scream. And then his pitiful corpse would be scattered across the forest instead of buried.

(~ ~ ~!!!!!!)

His fear had passed the limit. The feeling may have been like having a bucket of ice water dumped over your head when you were afraid someone would dump hot water on you. He was hit by a completely different type of fear than he had expected, so it did double damage.

The giant Witch Pumpkin could not move. If he moved, the dark elves would notice.

Yet he still took action. He used the vine growing from the top of the pumpkin to poke at Leader’s round butt.

Her reaction was dramatic.

“''Mbik!?''”

She jumped to her feet, blushed bright, held her hands to her butt through the blue miniskirt, and hopped up and down. Curvy responded in an exasperated tone.

“''Ykiw kirroqog?''”

“''P-pb deww – vapowkuqj levw waefkog pb deww!''”

“''Yuwfk Reprmuqv iqg Jkavw Wetqurv ito ftiynuqj yuwk dejv. Fkofm wa pimo veto bae yotoq’w duwwoq db iqbwkuqj xoqapaev. Wkiw’v inn wko wupo yo kixo.''”

“Ejk…''”

She made a fuss, but there was no real tension. She must have thought a bug had bitten her. Curvy chided Leader who tearfully muttered something under her breath and bent over.

She spread her legs to shoulder width, bent over, and looked down toward her own crotch.

But now was not the time to be impressed by the forest denizen’s flexibility.

(Ah, ahhh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?)

This was not just a glimpse. Klaus got a good look at everything. And from a low angle. But there was no way he could have avoided it since pumpkins can’t move! The view he got this time made him even more hesitant to include these observations in his paper.

Even if it had been a split-second decision, he had chosen a poor location to poke her.

The tearful silver ponytail woman bent her finger into a hook and slightly adjusted the position of her thin and sweaty underwear.

Specifically, she pulled it to the side.

(Ahhh, ah, ah, gwaaahhhhhhh!! Slender, Slender, Slender, Slender!!)

Klaus repeated that name in his mind like a magic spell meant to ward off evil.

Except all he did was conjure up the memory of her very slender bathing scene.

That only made things worse. If he had hands, he would have smacked himself on the forehead. He was amazed he wasn’t struck by lightning.

“''Ep…u gaq’w voo iqb deprv.''”

“'Naam, wkoto ito wotpuwov axot wkoto. Faeng uw kixo dooq aqo ah wkop?''”

Termites must have been a constant problem for dark elves. The red gems decorating Curvy’s white leather clothing shook as she reached into her impressive cleavage and pulled out some dried herbs tied together with a string. She took out her water bottle, poured some water onto the broom keychain thing, and then flicked water droplets on the row of termites. Klaus didn’t know what exactly it did, but those powerful pests immediately began writhing in pain. He was pretty sure he had heard that medicines had very different effects on humans and bugs. And the dark elves seemed to know this was what would happen.

The dark elves used poison arrows. They could also develop their own medicines. He could not look down on them just because they didn’t have a formalized magic school. It was possible they had humans beat in knowledge and not just strength.

“''Iqbyib, ko uvq’w koto. Now’v fkofm onvoykoto.''”

“''Dew ykoto faeng ko kixo jaqo? Kuv vfoqw vwarv koto iqg wkoto ito qa haawrtuqwv. Uw uvq’w numo ko ftavvog i tuxot wa yivk iyib kuv vfoqw.''”

“''Ykiwoxot wtufm ko evog, ko fiq’w kixo jaqo hit.''”

Presumably the rest of the termites would die when they reached that same point because the two women turned around and left. Leader would occasionally rub her butt like she could still feel something there.

(Man, that was incredible. Nature is full of new discoveries.)

Klaus sat there in a daze for a while, but the silence chilled him as much as the wind.

He did not dare move for a while even after they had disappeared past the bushes. He knew he was just being paranoid this time, but he was terrified. Yes, she had fallen on her butt. Yes, she had jumped up in a surprisingly cute way when he poked her. Yes, she had slid her underwear aside with her finger. He appreciated all of it, but unfortunately, none of it meant much of anything. It simply meant they ''hadn’t noticed him there''.

What if they decided to turn back for some reason? What if he ran into them later? Once they ''noticed him'', that gentle atmosphere was gone.

Several minutes passed and his sense of time grew so distorted he felt like he had entered another world altogether.

If he stayed silent any longer, he was certain it would break something inside him.

“Phew…”

He sighed and dispelled his camouflage magic. With the illusionary white steam that symbolized human power and civilization, the bench-sized Witch Pumpkin became a skinny boy once more.

He had lost them. He had learned he could fool the dark elves with his magic. He had also learned their butts were wonderfully soft. If he had to compare it to anything, it would be “super sweet custard”.

“Now it’s my turn. The hunter has become the hunted.”

That way, he might just find the elusive dark elf village.

He felt so lonely he grew overly dramatic when he spoke. If he didn’t use this small success to encourage himself, the loneliness would crush him.

“I now know they won’t notice me if I use my camouflage magic. You have some nerve making me fight for my life when you can’t even handle a naughty prank!!”

But something felt wrong. Klaus was not equipped with a sixth sense capable of detecting someone’s presence or killer intent. What felt wrong was the mottled sunlight. One of the shadows cast by a tree branch was abnormally swollen at one point.

He slowly looked up.

A brown girl was perched silently on one of the tree branches forming an arch overhead.

It was his future wife, Slender.

“Kyahhh!? D-did she hear all that!?”

He just about jumped out of his skin while feeling as embarrassed as if he had been overheard humming in the bath, but she remained at absolute zero. She made no move to drop down to the ground.

“No, you’ve got it all wrong! It was like a midnight high! I was so relieved to be alive that I lost control of myself! I don’t normally talk like that, I swear! Please don’t think I’m weird!!”

Speaking to her in human language was meaningless. Which also meant she wouldn’t have understood what he had said earlier either.

Also, she was crouching on the branch and he was looking up at her, so there was very little blocking her underwear from view. Her poor defenses revealed hers were made of red leather. Surprisingly sexy. But he could not just tremble in shock and joy. She looked angry. Her hood was pulled down over her face, but the rabbit-like ear decorations were standing up straight. Very cute.

Again, she wouldn’t have understood anything he had said. However…

…''Oh, this is still bad. If she saw me dispel my magic, then she knows I was enjoying Leader’s nice ass!

Just as he had that realization, Slender grabbed the large composite bow she carried over her shoulder, reached for her quiver, and pulled out an arrow that was more perfect than he would have expected for a handmade product.

…''I was looking for her. I dreamed of seeing her again.

“Wait…”

She silently pulled the bowstring taut. The icy girl silently exhaled. The sharp arrowhead was made of metal. It even had a barb. How in the world had they made something like that in this forest!?

It was time to flirt with his future wife.

“Wait, wait, wait!! Y-you’re just being shy, right? If you really attack me with that, you’ll lose the title of the only pacifist – or at least nonlethal – dark elf in the forest!! Help me! Someone please explain to my wife that this isn’t a healthy way to express her shyness!!”

If begging wasn’t going to help, then his only option was to run away while zigzagging unpredictably.

No matter how good an archer she was, she would have a hard time keeping a direct line of sight with so many trees in the way. He just had to pray she couldn’t control her arrows with magic. If she had a homing spell, he was well and truly screwed.

Hard leaves and branches scraped at his limbs and cheeks. He forgot all about recently being caught in a beartrap as he ran wildly through the forest, but he eventually noticed something. He came to a stop and looked back while trying to catch his breath. He only heard the rustling of the leaves in the breeze.

Slender was gone.

And…

“Sh-she never did launch an arrow, did she?”