Editing Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko:Volume7 Chapter4

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==Chapter 4 - Bad Ending No. 1: Denpa Otoko==

“My apologies, I kidnapped the wrong person.”

“…Um, what is this?”

I had gone to sleep at night, only to wake up in the morning to find a mysterious man standing before me. Furthermore, everything in the background was unfamiliar. The white walls occasionally emitted a faint, translucent light-blue glow. The interior felt mechanical, and despite the total lack of visible lighting, the space maintained a constant brightness. I could barely feel any temperature at all.

The room was roughly twelve ''tatami'' in size. Its shape was a perfect square, much like the inside of a die.

As for the man scratching his forehead with a slight smile, he looked like a middle-aged man you might find alone at a golf course or a driving range, dressed in a polo shirt and jeans. However, that was only skin deep. His true nature was clearly not of this Earth. After all, much like the mysterious glowing phenomenon on the walls, the man’s hair was also light blue.

“To introduce myself, this is what you would call the interior of a spaceship, and I am what you would recognise as an alien.”

Ha ha ha, the man laughed cheerfully while pointing to himself. My head started to spin, even though I had just woken up. Why was it that self-proclaimed aliens always seemed to gather around me? Moreover, this was an obvious kidnapping. I didn’t know if he expected a profit. But if he did, I wouldn’t have suggested him to expect much from my family’s finances. You can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip. In fact, I’m not even sure my parents could manage to find a turnip to squeeze. I felt like recoiling, but strangely, my feet wouldn’t move.

“But even if I say that, you look like you don’t believe me. Fu fu fu, quite alright, quite alright. That’s a very Earthling-like reaction.”

Somehow, he had taken a liking to me. I couldn’t help but think of how Erio was when we first met, and I felt a wave of gloom wash over me.

“Let me show you some proof. Take a look at the view outside. It’s outer space!”

As he moved his fingertips, the wall changed in an instant. As if the panels were flipping over, the white walls and the glow vanished, replaced by a panoramic view of a dark abyss. Within a heartbeat, even the floor had become outer space, and the blood drained from my face. Though, I suppose fearing a fall in a zero-gravity environment was a bit absurd.

Come to think of it, I wanted to argue that there was still gravity in this room and that this isn’t actually space, but when I looked up, the Earth and the Moon were clearly floating there. My mouth hung open as I stared at the blue planet.

“Just so you know, this is the real thing. It’s definitely not some recorded image data.”

“Th-then, where’s your proof?”

“Well, if I were to toss you out of this room and into the vacuum of space, I’m sure I would prove it in a few different ways.”

There was no way I could tell him to go ahead and try. I averted my eyes from the middle-aged man and looked toward my home, Earth, the most striking sight of all. Staring at the blue planet, far too vivid to be anything else, and the Moon, where the American Stars and Stripes should have been planted, I began to believe it was real. But if I accepted that, then it meant…

Let’s compare this middle-aged man with Earth. The tip of his tongue was stained a pale blue.

That casual, mindless gesture was simple proof that he was not from Earth.

Goosebumps prickled my skin as I stumbled backward, bracing myself against the pitch-black wall. My heart pounded violently, and perhaps because the cold sweat of shock wouldn’t stop flowing, my throat felt parched. When I swallowed, it burnt with pain.

As the saying goes, third time’s a charm.

This was my third encounter with a self-proclaimed alien.

Could it be? Had I finally encountered a real one? And he’s saying I’ve been kidnapped?

“Help me, Mulder<ref name="ftn25">A reference to ''The X-Files''.</ref>!”

The cry escaped my lips before I could stop it. Naturally, that specific track from certain Files was playing on loop in my head.

“No, no, I’m not going to harm you. I’ll send you back right away. But if I just take you away without any explanation and then let you go, people will mistake me for a kidnapper. I simply need to offer an explanation.”

The alien approached and gripped my shoulder. The reason I wasn’t as terrified as I expected to be was likely due to the colour of its hair. Perhaps because I was so used to the particles drifting from that radiant hue which looked exactly like my cousin’s, but simply seeing it brought me a sense of calm. Furthermore, the sensation of his fingertips on my shoulder wasn’t as cold as the void of space. Rather, his body temperature was high, and it felt lukewarm even through my clothes.

“So, even aliens have body heat in their hands?”

“It’s fine to have some warmth. I’m human after all.”

Are you really an alien? The (uncertain) alien let out a cheerful laugh and began pacing around the room with light footsteps. With a casual flick of her fingertips, he turned the walls of the room back into light-emitting surfaces.

“The fact that you ended up here was a mistake, or perhaps I should call it my own lack of virtue? Maybe I should become more proficient, but unfortunately, practice is a difficult thing.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t quite follow… the language of the universe is difficult.”

“No, I’m speaking in perfect Japanese. What I mean is, the salvage operation failed.”

After saying that, the alien with chiselled features scratched his nose. He seemed somewhat embarrassed.

“Salvage?”

“To be honest, for some reason I detected a signature from one of my kind near your house, so I tried to pull it up for confirmation, but it proved to be quite difficult. To use an Earthly analogy, it’s like a UFO catcher<ref name="ftn26">“UFO catcher” is the name under which claw machines are known in Japan.</ref> in an arcade. If you’re not skilled, you’d need a whole mountain of coins just to grab what you’re after, right?”

“Some people might never succeed in their entire lifetime…”

I wondered if during development they thought that the level of difficulty was acceptable. Shouldn’t they have considered making it accessible to everyone? Regardless, that wasn’t the point. An alien signature near the Touwa residence? There was only one possible culprit.

Then again, I wondered if it was even worth worrying about whether I could think of a suspect in the first place.

“That was just the person in the next room.”

Wait, so that girl really was an alien? Strictly speaking, her father was, but her mother was a ''youkai'', so that made her a half-alien, half-''youkai'' hybrid? That’s one hell of a combination, my dear cousin.

“Ah, just as I thought. My apologies, I’m not quite used to these controls… I ended up catching a little bird from the power lines earlier.”

Just like that, the alien turned his palm over, and a sparrow appeared. To be precise, perhaps “retrieved” would be the more accurate word. Yet, watching that magician-like feat, I couldn’t help but stare in wide-eyed wonder, forced to acknowledge once again that this guy is an entity far removed from Earth’s common sense. Much as it pained me to admit it.

“But perhaps it’s for the best. My reports indicate that humans are generally quite dexterous.”

“Well, there’s a lot of individual variation, though.”

“What about you? From the looks of it, you have the face of a protagonist possessed by the unfair talent of being incredibly popular with the opposite sex, despite having no notable features whatsoever.”

The alien rested a hand on his chin, casting a scrutinising gaze at me as if trying to read my very soul. While I wondered whether he was complimenting or insulting me, I found myself, in turn, observing the alien from head to toe. Light blue eyes, and upon closer inspection, lips with a faint blue tint. I wondered what Erio would think if she were to meet this old man.

And if that theory she used to scream about back in her “delusional” days, the ones about aliens, actually turned out to be true…

“Well, I suppose it’s worth a shot.”

The old man pulled back his face and moved his hand. Then, in a manner that could only be described as suddenly sprouting from the ground, he produced what appeared to be a massive machine. Its shape was somewhat reminiscent of a UFO catcher.

“Hey, would you mind giving this a try instead?”

The alien asked me in a friendly tone, slapping the side of the machine with his palm.

“Huh? I mean, what even is that?”

“You heard me just a moment ago, didn’t you? It’s a device for pulling things up from Earth.”

“Is it really okay for humans to use a machine like that?”

“I suppose it should be fine.”

Permission granted. The universe was apparently a forgiving place. The alien gave a wry smile and a small bow.

“Think of it as a lifelong request from an alien. Just accept it as a souvenir.”

“So, just how long does an alien live, anyway?”

He only let out a soft, cryptic chuckle, “Fu fu fu”, offering no direct answer. I was a little afraid to find out. If I ever learned that the reason the self-proclaimed aliens I met in town all had faces far beyond their years was because of their long lifespans, I would be utterly horrified. I might even start boasting about my own kind, claiming that Jojo-tan, an Earthling ''youkai'', was just as impressive. Hum, I was already starting to feel unsettled.

“Well, but… just one thing. What do you plan to do once you’ve brought Erio here?”

“Erio? Is that the name of your kin?”

“Probably.”

“Oh, I’m not going to do anything in particular. I just want to ask why she’s settled here on Earth.”

“In that case, why don’t you, being an alien, just descend to Earth and ask her yourself?”

“Too much work. I’m not familiar with Earth’s geography, so I’d probably end up getting lost in the neighbourhood.”

The alien shrugged with a sigh. This was the first time I had ever met an alien who was so worried about getting lost.

“Though this is my first time meeting an alien, after all.”

I stood before the console. It was a large, indigo-coloured box, with its front obstructed by something that looked much like glass. Mysteriously, it emitted a faint glow, just like the surrounding walls. It was an enchanting light, one that drew you in like a winged insect swarming around a street lamp. On the other hand, I couldn’t help but worry that it might just explode at any moment.

Was it because I’ve just woken up, or was I still thinking I was in a dream? Somehow, it still didn’t feel real, and yet here I was, standing outside of Earth. When I peered into the console, I saw another Earth floating inside it.

“Alright, let’s get started, Earthling-kun.”

The alien prompted me, pointing to two round buttons attached to the console. They were marked with up, down, left, and right arrows, and given their shape, well, they were exactly what they looked like.

“…………”

Attached to the corner of the machine was a slender, small, and flimsy silver catcher hand. Its distinctive features were that its fingertips were as slender as tweezers and that they didn’t splay out. It was shaped so that it could be pinched between the fingertips.

Despite these peculiarities, no matter how I looked at it, this was clearly the cabinet of a UFO catcher.

“Um… this is Earth, you know.”

I pointed to the object floating inside. Aside from that, there was nothing but darkness.

“Well, of course it is. We’re pulling stuff up from Earth, after all.”

“Wait, are you saying we have to pull it up from here?”

“What other option is there?”

The alien spoke with a straight face, showing no sign of joking. In other words, I was actually being told to properly guide the claw machine toward the spherical Earth floating within the cabinet and successfully grab whatever it was he was after.

“The scale is way too huge! Help me, Scully<ref name="ftn27">Another reference to The ''X-Files''.</ref>!”

“Earthling-kun, you look just exhausted.”

“I don’t want a shady Scully like this! Besides, it’s impossible! Just enlarge the Earth more!”

How was I supposed to just pluck Erio out of the entire Earth?! That was an impossible demand!

“Well, it’s difficult. That’s why we fail occasionally and end up pulling up strange things. Most of the mysterious disappearances occurring on Earth seem to be caused by this.”

“That’s quite a nuisance… Wait, does that mean you aren’t letting the things you’ve pulled up go back? What happened to the philosophy of '''catch and release'''?”

“We couldn’t possibly do something so wasteful. Well, bringing Earth’s flora and fauna back to our planet isn’t permitted, but as long as it’s within the scope of personal enjoyment, we turn a blind eye. After all, living organisms are extremely vulnerable to unknown bacteria. If we kept making careless contact with Earthlings, there’s a risk your entire planet could face extinction. Something like that happened once before. More than half of humanity became infected and nearly went extinct,” the alien said, nodding in solemn agreement.

If that was the case, wouldn’t it be dangerous to meet them now? If the little bird and I simply head back as we were, humanity might face the same kind of destruction. Hmm, so am I the one who will bring about the end of mankind?

While lost in these thoughts, I recalled the alien’s words about giving it a try and pressed the button. Instantly, the catcher tucked in the far right corner moved to its designated position. Then, the button began to flash.

“Does this mean I’m supposed to press it?”

“Have you never been to an arcade?”

With a huff, I pressed the up and down buttons. The claw moved forward with a whirring sound. Panicking, I immediately pressed the left and right buttons. Carrying a bit of momentum, the claw came to a temporary halt before veering to the left. That path hadn’t even come close to the prize. As I watched in a daze, the claw reached the far left edge of the machine, slowly plucked something from the darkness, and then headed toward the hole at a frustratingly slow pace. It opened its grip, dropping nothing into the prize chute, and returned to its original position. Once it did, the buttons began to flash again.

I instinctively glanced at the alien. The alien flashed a bright, refreshing smile, his teeth gleaming.

“Well, shall we get started?”

He swept it under the rug. I decided to go along with it and pretend it hadn’t happened either, so I rolled up my sleeves and said, ‘Right, let’s do this!’ To be honest, I wasn’t particularly good at UFO catchers, but I was so frustrated by that recent miss that I suddenly felt a surge of motivation. I even found myself naturally mimicking the whirring sounds of the machine, “Wuiiiin, Gatcha, Wuiiiin”.

This time, I pressed the buttons with caution. Since Earth was floating in the centre of the machine, it wasn’t hard to track. The problem was, how could I possibly know something as minute as Erio’s position? Should I just aim for the Japanese archipelago? I wondered, gripped by uncertainty. As the claw reached the right position, I pressed the left and right buttons. I glared at the tiny Japanese archipelago floating near Earth, even refraining from blinking until the claw reached the perfect spot. Then, the moment it reached the centre of the archipelago, I pressed down with everything I had, shouting, “This is it! Ah, damn it!”

The claw machine didn’t stop immediately. Due to a little bit of inertia, the landing point was slightly off. It overshot, finally coming to a halt somewhere around Hiroshima. Then, the tip of the tweezer claw pulled something upward. A tiny speck of something brown was visible at the very end. It was tossed into a hole at the edge of the machine. The alien poked around the hole on the outside of the cabinet.

What emerged was a cat. A bicolour cat, sleeping peacefully. The alien cradled it, remaining silent.

“One… one more time.”

I almost wanted to ask if five hundred yen got me five tries, but there was nowhere to insert a coin. Tapping the machine lightly, I tried again. This time, I’ll lift Erio up. No, at the very least, I’ll lift a human.

Having mastered the laws of inertia, I had no openings. At least, I shouldn’t. My sense of up and down was perfect. Now, if I just factored in the lateral inertia, good. “Okay!” I captured the very centre of the Japanese archipelago perfectly. The catcher descended slowly and picked something up. As it was being carried away, I noticed it was something dark, clearly different from the light blue. Then, passing through the hole, what emerged with a heavy thud was a furry dog.

“Just having fun.”

I tried to gloss it over with a lovely smile and went at it again. Next, it was a tree. “…I mean, look how bleak this room is.” It was a roadside tree, far from being a decorative household plant, with its dirt and roots exposed, but I didn’t care. '''Try again'''.

“Vroom, rumble, rumble…” I plucked at the brown wig. I wasn’t just playing around. I was going for it big time. I dug into a section of the road and pulled it up. This was bad; it could cause an uproar on Earth. An alien invasion might be triggered by my own hands. Next time, I’ll make things right.

“Oh, looks like I’ve hooked a humanoid! Yes!”

Something slithered out of the hole. I froze. I froze the moment I saw the face.

“Err, what? Niwa-chi?”

“Put it back! Put it back right now!”

I immediately teleported the familiar face away. Man, that scared the life out of me. It was even worse because she was in the middle of taking off her pyjamas. The middle-aged alien man tapped me on the shoulder with a half-grin on his face. In his arms, he was cradling a little bird, a dog, and a cat, and because every single one of them was fast asleep, they wouldn’t budge an inch.

He surely intended to take them home. I had no idea what use he would put them to.

I could only pray that, at the very least, they would be raised in good health.

“You really have no talent, do you?”

The alien evaluated me in a voice tinged with sympathy. I must have been wearing an expression somewhere between a sob and a grin.

“I am ashamed to say so.”

“Well, it was a bit of a reckless request, wasn’t it? My apologies. Let’s get these back to where they belong.”

With a snap of the alien’s fingers, the machine was pulled down into the floor. The way the metal body vanished into the ground, as if melting away, looked just like a movie. I remembered seeing something like that once. If I recalled correctly, the floors and walls turned into spears to attack people.

“By the way, what happens to my memories of meeting you? Will you erase them?”

“No, we don’t really perform that kind of procedure. Considering the nature of humans, there’s no need for it, honestly. Hahaha,” the alien laughed cheerfully.

I wondered what he meant by that, or why he thought it wasn’t necessary. While I was abducted once, sometimes other humans also were. Despite him speaking as if this had happened before, the existence of aliens was not recognised on Earth. It remained in the realm of rumours and fairy tales.

“…Err.”

“Hm?”

As if preparing to give some sort of signal, the alien tilted his head, his fingertips held in a peculiar shape.

“Have there ever been cases where a human you abducted was sent back to Earth after several months?”

After all, Erio’s story was that she had been abducted. Perhaps this was the cause.

The alien’s eyes wandered as if he were deep in thought for a moment, but eventually, he gave a vague nod.

“Well, I suppose an irresponsible person might do something like that, yes.”

“An irresponsible person, huh?”

“It is irresponsible, isn’t it? After several months pass, wouldn’t it be difficult for you to reintegrate into your society?”

True to being an alien who seems quite well-versed in Earth affairs, he offered a very accurate opinion. And he was absolutely right. Because of that good-for-nothing, Erio had likely endured a great deal of hardship. And for good measure, I ended up flying on my bicycle and breaking my arm. While there was a certain air of self-inflicted misfortune regarding that part, I decided to shift the blame anyway. Since the person in question was such an irresponsible bastard, he should be able to shoulder at least one unreasonable grievance.

“Still, you’re living in the same house as an alien? That’s quite a rare case, in many ways.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Of course it is.”

The alien’s eyes shone with curiosity and amusement as he spoke with such certainty.

“You might find yourself targeted by other aliens as well, so you’d better be careful.”

“And how exactly am I supposed to live my life being on guard against aliens?”

I’ll definitely end up acting suspiciously. Like suddenly staring up at the sky in the middle of the road, searching for enemies. That’s just plain stupid.

“Well, just give my regards to the alien.”

“Oh, I will. I’m sure she’ll be delighted.”

If she loves the stars in the universe, she’ll probably welcome aliens with open arms too, probably. As for me, my drowsiness was gradually fading, and my head was beginning to throb with a heat similar to a feverish sweat. It was clearly the excitement of encountering an unknown lifeform. I wanted to share the profound emotion of this historic moment with others as soon as possible.

“So, with that being said, I would very much like you to send me back to Earth immediately!”

“Oh? I thought you might start asking for a tour of the spaceship. This is unexpected.”

“No, because if I don’t get back soon, I’m going to be late for school.”

Since there were no clocks in the room and the morning sun was a bit difficult to see from our location, I couldn’t be sure of the exact time, but as a perfectly normal high school student, there is no way I was the type to go to bed early and wake up early. My routine usually involved waking up at the last possible second, rushing through breakfast, and then scrambling out the door on my bike. Given that, I figured we were already running quite late, including all the time I spent playing with the UFO catcher. When I told the alien this, he nodded understandingly.

“That makes sense, given the circumstances. Wow, humans really are industrious, aren’t they?”

“So, does that mean aliens are lazy?”

“Well, for us, most things are done for fun. That’s how we were able to build machines like this and get ahead of you with spaceships. However, it’s also true that our cultural evolution has become quite lopsided. Especially regarding food. Compared to Earth, my planet’s food is quite pathetic. There is no diversity. It’s disheartening,” he said, shaking his head with a bitter expression.

I nodded, feeling as though I were on a field trip.

“Maybe that’s why once people settle down there, they rarely come back from Earth. Aside from a few countries, food is abundant; science has so much room to grow; it’s a land of dreams. Plus, since the human population is abnormally high, there’s a high concentration of cute girls. Even the variety of hair colours is vast.”

“…Does everyone of your species have the same hair colour?”

“Yeah, this light blue. I’m sick of looking at it.”

He was grumbling, half-joking about whether he should go to a salon to dye it, so I recommended a place. It was the salon run by Ooi-san, since she was the type who would happily cut an alien’s hair.

“Well, since you requested it, I’d better get you back soon.”

Once again, the alien repositioned his fingers. His omnipotent fingers. His all-powerful fingers. Perhaps for these aliens, who travel through space as if on a casual road trip, even their fingertips were different from those of Earthlings. Light blue hair, a light blue tongue, and eyes to match.

The glowing walls turned even whiter. The ground beneath my feet shone, and my entire body was enveloped in light. I felt no heat from the radiance; instead, the sheer intensity of the light only fuelled my anxiety. It felt as though I might vanish, starting from my feet.

Ah, should I ask to take a souvenir with me? But then, I grew cold feet, wondering what might happen if I brought something back and inadvertently triggered a revolution in Earth’s civilisation, so I withdrew my request.

I won’t call it the butterfly effect, but it would be presumptuous of me to think I could transform the future of Earth.

I shall take only my memories back to the world where I live.

“If fate allows, let us meet again in some corner of the universe.”

With those final words, even the silhouette of the alien was swallowed by the light.



Then, before I knew it, I was back in my futon in my own room. I bolted upright, kicking the futon away. I ran my hands over my body, checking for any abnormalities. After frantically rubbing my face, I replayed everything I had experienced… It wasn’t a dream. If it had been a dream, there’s no way I could remember every single detail so clearly.

Above all, the heat from the alien’s palm still lingered on my shoulder where it had touched me.

“Oooooooohhhhhh! Insane! That was insane, Niwa-kun! Yay!”

I burst out of my room still in my pyjamas. Peeking into the next room, I saw that Erio was already gone. At a time like this? I clicked my tongue and scrambled down the stairs. Leaning forward as if I were rolling down the hallway, I lunged into the living room, where Meme-san and Erio were sitting and having a meal. Erio, still holding her bowl of miso soup, gave me a brief “Yo”. Meanwhile, Meme-san was making a slurping sound, “Muchuu”, as she sucked on the edge of a piece of ''hanpen''.

I shouted to them both, my heart boiling with an equal mix of excitement and pure joy.

“Listen to this! I encountered an alien!”

The cosy atmosphere froze instantly. Erio and Meme-san both stiffened, their smiles twitching. Their right cheeks twitched in unison as they scurried away to a corner of the room, huddling their faces close together. Oh… oh dear?

“…Even Cousin has eventually…”

“Mako-kun’s lust for Meme-tan was just too suppressed…”

“Stop whispering! I can hear everything! No, I’m not lying! Um, so, the alien had light blue hair, and even his tongues were light blue! And his spaceship was glowing faintly, the Earth was blue, and then…!”

I knew that every single one of my fragmented, excited words was the truth!

Why are you all making faces as if I were scary?!

Anyway, I continued my heated insistence. I wanted to find a way to convey to them what it was probably the first time such a feat happened in human history. Because I felt it was my duty as a citizen of Earth. But instead of their eyes sparkling, they were looking at me in total horror!

“Erio, you really were an alien after all! To be precise, on your father’s side, so you’re half alien! In one sense, your claims were right, and I’m sorry for denying them! Now, I completely understand how you feel!”

I draw near to Erio. In response, she quickly scurried behind Meme-san, looking at me with a timid and frightened expression. Dammit, it feels like I’ve only fuelled her distrust. Clicking my tongue, I turned on the TV. Hoping against hope, I glared at the news programme, and sure enough, that incident was being broadcast. Apparently, an explosion-like phenomenon of unknown origin occurred this morning, leaving a crater in the road.

This certainly proved that I went to the spaceship and did what I did with that machine!

“Look at this natural disaster! This is proof of my failure with the UFO catcher! Fortunately, there were no casualties? Oh, thank goodness. If there had been, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night! What do you think of this?!”

[[File:DTS Vol 07 135.jpg|thumb|“…*whispering*”]]

“…*whispering*”

“I won’t be able to face Onii-chan, *sob*.”

“You still won’t believe me?! Argh, what do I have to do to make you trust me? You Earthlings are far too sceptical!”

I scratched my head in sheer frustration. It looks like the gesture of a madman, but I wasn’t insane. I simply couldn’t find the words to convey it. What is with this Earthling caution?! At this point, they seemed like people from an entirely different planet. They were all so conservative and refused to face the truth. That is why we had yet to even encounter a single alien. They were far too content to remain in their closed-off environment when they shouldn’t be.

“If your scientific capability is so low-dimensional that you cannot notice a spaceship and an alien approaching so closely, you will have no way to defend yourselves against a stealthy invasion in the future, let alone right now! This is no good, Earthlings! I have a duty to speak up and lead humanity toward a better path!”

Because that was exactly what it meant to have met with an alien! Why won’t they understand?!

Meme-san approached with Erio clinging to her back, gently patting my shoulder.

The way she patted me was so tender; it somehow reminded me of my mother.

“Youthful boy: okay. Delusional boy: bad. Okay?”

Uggghhhhhhhnnnnnnn!

Why must the truth be nothing more than such a fragile arrow? In the midst of my disappointment, my scream echoed in vain.

“I’m not delusional! I really did meet an alien!”



Later, I became momentarily famous within the town as a ''Denpa Otoko'', and I lost everything.

In the end, I even ended up jumping into a river while chasing a spaceship on my bicycle.

But that was a different story altogether, woven by a man driven to a madness so profound even he could no longer understand it himself.



“It’s a nightmareeeeeee!”

“It’s a nightmare! (Total party kill).”

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