Editing Gekkou:Volume 1 Sweet Nightmare

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Her proposal was most suspicious and virtually crying out to be doubted.
 
Her proposal was most suspicious and virtually crying out to be doubted.
   
I knew it would be a pain if anyone got wind of this visit. If, on top of that, the guys at school learned that no one else had been in the house at the time, the rumors that might emerge from it exceeded my imagination<!--würde es das ganze nicht interessant machen? zu gucken wie weit die gerüchte gehen?--><!-- Das Problem ist, dass das Zentrum der Gerüchte er wäre, es also nicht von aussen beobachten kann :p -->. Especially in Kamogawa's case... I didn't even want to think about it.
+
I knew it would be a pain if anyone got wind of that visit. If, on top of that, the guys at school learned that no one else had been in the house at the time, the rumors that might emerge from it exceeded my imagination<!--würde es das ganze nicht interessant machen? zu gucken wie weit die gerüchte gehen?--><!-- Das Problem ist, dass das Zentrum der Gerüchte er wäre, es also nicht von aussen beobachten kann :p -->. Especially in Kamogawa's case... I didn't even want to think about it.
   
 
By now I was sure everything had been an act of hers to make me enter her house. It would certainly rub me the wrong way if her plan succeeded.
 
By now I was sure everything had been an act of hers to make me enter her house. It would certainly rub me the wrong way if her plan succeeded.
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Originally I had expected that new progress would come from associating with her and learning more about her, but all my attempts had remained fruitless. The more I was in touch with her, the less I understood her true nature. I had no clue how to distinguish between her jokes and her serious statements. In other words, she was as slippery as an eel.
 
Originally I had expected that new progress would come from associating with her and learning more about her, but all my attempts had remained fruitless. The more I was in touch with her, the less I understood her true nature. I had no clue how to distinguish between her jokes and her serious statements. In other words, she was as slippery as an eel.
   
Hence, I had come to the conclusion that it might be better to approach her mother. From what I had seen of her at the funeral, she was not as complicated a person as Tsukimori. It shouldn't be necessary to probe Tsukimori herself to find out about her relationship with her father.
+
Hence, I had come to the conclusion that it might be better to approach her mother. From what I had seen of her at the funeral, she was not as complicated a person as Tsukimori. It shouldn't be necessary to probe Tsukimori herself to find out about her relationship to her father.
   
 
I followed Tsukimori into the house. Not a sound was to be heard inside.
 
I followed Tsukimori into the house. Not a sound was to be heard inside.
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I almost got a headache just by imagining a merry Mirai-san teasing me. I would surely have to say farewell to my busy yet peaceful work life, because she would be asking me about Tsukimori non-stop.
 
I almost got a headache just by imagining a merry Mirai-san teasing me. I would surely have to say farewell to my busy yet peaceful work life, because she would be asking me about Tsukimori non-stop.
   
"I would not mind our colleagues at the café knowing about us. I don't like having secrets."
+
"I would not mind the colleagues at the café knowing about us. I don't like having secrets."
   
 
"''You'' don't mind."
 
"''You'' don't mind."
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Tsukimori may have been used to being the center of attention, but I was not. Just the thought of capturing everyone's attention gave me the shivers.
 
Tsukimori may have been used to being the center of attention, but I was not. Just the thought of capturing everyone's attention gave me the shivers.
   
A comfortable role as a spectator suited me best. Everyone has their own qualities.<!-- to each his own ?-->
+
A comfortable role as a spectator suited me best. Everyone has his own qualities.<!-- to each his own ?-->
   
 
"To be frank, I would love to openly attempt winning you over."
 
"To be frank, I would love to openly attempt winning you over."
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"An inborn virtue of mine?" countered Tsukimori without trouble.
 
"An inborn virtue of mine?" countered Tsukimori without trouble.
   
"You don't say. You are a schemer, an actor and, if we get to the heart of it, just plain wicked. It's just that everyone is being deceived by your beautiful looks and don't notice your deadly thorns."
+
"You don't say. You are a schemer, an actor and, if we get to the heart of it, just plain wicked. It's just that everyone is being deceived by your beautiful looks and doesn't notice your deadly thorns."
   
 
"You think I am beautiful? I am on cloud nine!"
 
"You think I am beautiful? I am on cloud nine!"
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Thirty minutes later.
 
Thirty minutes later.
   
"Your mother is pretty late," I addressed Tsukimori, who was sitting opposite me.
+
"Your mother is pretty late," I addressed Tsukimori, who was sitting opposite of me.
   
 
"Yes, she said she would be."
 
"Yes, she said she would be."
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"That makes thirty minutes from now, huh."
 
"That makes thirty minutes from now, huh."
   
I was starting to feel uncomfortable sharing the same time and room, just the two of us, but I was willing to bear with another half an hour and lay back in the sofa.
+
I was starting to feel uncomfortable sharing the same time and room, just the two of us, but I was willing to bear up another half an hour and lay back in the sofa.
   
 
Tsukimori murmured, "Well, twenty-four hours from now, to be exact."
 
Tsukimori murmured, "Well, twenty-four hours from now, to be exact."
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"I honestly told you she would be late."
 
"I honestly told you she would be late."
   
"How's that honest!? I'm leaving," I declared <!--strongly ersetzen?--><!-- sowas? --><!-- in English, as in Japanese fewer words is more blunt and emphatic. So remove 'emphatically' to make it more emphatic ;)--><!-- you have a point there ~~~~ -->, standing up and heading towards the entrance. Most of the irritation was at myself for readily taking her bait.
+
"How's that honest!? I'm leaving," I declared <!--strongly ersetzen?--><!-- sowas? --><!-- in English, as in Japanese fewer words is more blunt and emphatic. So remove 'emphatically' to make it more emphatic ;)--><!-- you have a point there ~~~~ -->, stood up and headed towards the entrance. Most of the irritation was at myself for readily taking her bait.
   
 
Suddenly, something soft enveloped my arm. Tsukimori had clasped it.
 
Suddenly, something soft enveloped my arm. Tsukimori had clasped it.
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Her begging attitude and the soft touch against my arm made me falter.
 
Her begging attitude and the soft touch against my arm made me falter.
   
The unusual fragility she was showing me was more than enough to activate my protective instincts—even if it was a deliberate action of hers to seduce me.
+
The unusual fragility she was showing me was more than enough to activate my protective instinct—even if it was a deliberate action of hers to seduce me.
   
But my rationality cooled down the overwhelming reality and kept me from making the wrong decision.
+
But my rationality cooled down the overwhelming reality and kept me from making a wrong decision.
   
"Your charm doesn't work on me! Besides, that's not fair. I have not accepted going out with you."
+
"Your charm doesn't work on me! Besides, that's not fair. I never have accepted going out with you."
   
Two teenagers alone under one roof — an alluring setting. Being a boy in his teens, I was naturally interested in what would happen in such a situation, all the more if the girl in question was Youko Tsukimori.
+
Two teenagers alone under one roof — an alluring setting. Being a boy in his teens myself, I was naturally interested in what would happen in such a situation, all the more if the girl in question was Youko Tsukimori.
   
 
"I don't mind if it's you."<!--nur als rückfrage: gibts dafür ne klischeehaftere übersetzung?--><!-- 野々宮くんだったら私は構わない -->
 
"I don't mind if it's you."<!--nur als rückfrage: gibts dafür ne klischeehaftere übersetzung?--><!-- 野々宮くんだったら私は構わない -->
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I shook her off and hurried towards the entrance, but Tsukimori rushed after me in the same breath. This time she clung to me from behind, restraining me.
 
I shook her off and hurried towards the entrance, but Tsukimori rushed after me in the same breath. This time she clung to me from behind, restraining me.
   
Her warmth, her softness, her entrancing fragrance blended into a charm deluding the senses and attacking me from behind.
+
Her warmth, her softness, her entrancing fragrance blended into a charm deluding the senses and attacked me from behind.
   
 
"...It does not matter what you feel for me..."
 
"...It does not matter what you feel for me..."
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"...do as you please as long as it's your own problem. But this time it's me that would have been your partner, you get that?"
 
"...do as you please as long as it's your own problem. But this time it's me that would have been your partner, you get that?"
   
"Yes, you are right, I don't know if I will be able to satisfy you because it's my first time...," she worried.
+
"Yes, you are right, I don't know if I am able to satisfy you because it's my first time...," she worried.
   
 
She had to be joking.
 
She had to be joking.
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"That's not the problem!!"
 
"That's not the problem!!"
   
When was the last time I had become this agitated? I couldn't remember. Thank you very much for this valuable experience, Tsukimori.
+
When was the last time I had become that agitated? I couldn't remember. Thank you very much for this valuable experience, Tsukimori.
   
 
"Why are you always so... so reckless!"
 
"Why are you always so... so reckless!"
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Tsukimori pursed her lips.
 
Tsukimori pursed her lips.
   
She was now sounding queerly like a precocious little girl. Where did the bewitching girl that seduced me go?
+
She was now sounding queerly like a precocious little girl. Where did the bewitching girl go that seduced me?
   
 
"Fine! I won't ask anymore if you don't want to tell me."
 
"Fine! I won't ask anymore if you don't want to tell me."
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Tsukimori took a deep breath and made up her mind.
 
Tsukimori took a deep breath and made up her mind.
   
"I'll be honest. I have gone out with several boys before."
+
"I'll be honest. I have gone out with several boys until now."
   
 
"As I thought."
 
"As I thought."
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"...Good for you..."
 
"...Good for you..."
   
"But every time something felt off. In some way I knew that none of them were my destined partner," she told me with slightly downcast eyes, wallowing in reminiscences.
+
"But every time something felt off. In some way I knew that none of them was my destined partner," she told me with slightly downcast eyes, wallowing in reminiscences.
   
 
"Then why me?"
 
"Then why me?"
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She carefully chose her words, which made me realize that she was trying her utmost to convey her feelings precisely.
 
She carefully chose her words, which made me realize that she was trying her utmost to convey her feelings precisely.
   
"You could say that we are... trying to outdo each other? Our conversations feel so exciting and enjoyable to me because they're unpredictable. I just can't talk enough with you."
+
"You could say that we are... trying to outdo each other? Our conversation feel so exciting and enjoyable to me because they're unpredictable. I just can't talk enough with you."
   
 
Her words silenced me, and caused me to stare at her. I was struck by surprise that she was of the same mind as me.
 
Her words silenced me, and caused me to stare at her. I was struck by surprise that she was of the same mind as me.
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"And I wish I didn't know that you were so sharp tongued."<!-- He really calls her a shrew? Pretty harsh. Maybe it's not as mean in Japanese?--><!-- I don't know exactly how harsh it is in English, but essentially he called her a scolding woman. ~~~~ --><!--If she's complaining about how he won't let her have her way, he is probably complaining about her boldness (think how you had to make her 'it's ok' more active in translation) and her complaints about him not being malleable to that. Let's trade out 'such a shrew' for 'so sharp-tongued.' which isn't quite as unpleasant a thing to say. I wanted to go with 'brazen' but she's already admitted to being bold, so it would sound like agreeing with her line before. Being a shrew is one step away from being a fishwife, which isn't a nice thing to say at all.-->
 
"And I wish I didn't know that you were so sharp tongued."<!-- He really calls her a shrew? Pretty harsh. Maybe it's not as mean in Japanese?--><!-- I don't know exactly how harsh it is in English, but essentially he called her a scolding woman. ~~~~ --><!--If she's complaining about how he won't let her have her way, he is probably complaining about her boldness (think how you had to make her 'it's ok' more active in translation) and her complaints about him not being malleable to that. Let's trade out 'such a shrew' for 'so sharp-tongued.' which isn't quite as unpleasant a thing to say. I wanted to go with 'brazen' but she's already admitted to being bold, so it would sound like agreeing with her line before. Being a shrew is one step away from being a fishwife, which isn't a nice thing to say at all.-->
   
I shrugged extensively for show. Of course, I was not at all composed. It was quite the contrary: I was disturbed. You could say that I had a hard time dealing with the radical change in my feelings.
+
I shrugged extensively for show. Of course, I was not at all composed. It was quite the contrary: I was disturbed. You could say that I had a hard time dealing with the radical change of my feelings.
   
 
I had previously regarded any situation objectively with the utmost effort in order to bear up against Tsukimori and her staggering presence. Otherwise I would have fallen victim to her charm like everyone else.
 
I had previously regarded any situation objectively with the utmost effort in order to bear up against Tsukimori and her staggering presence. Otherwise I would have fallen victim to her charm like everyone else.

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