Editing Kämpfer:Volume 3 Chapter 5

     Volume 3, Chapter 5  


    Then it was the day of the cultural festival, also known as the "Seitetsu Festival".  


    It was a sunny day, and fireworks were set off at the same time as the cultural festival 

began. This was a signal that had not been done last year. It must have been very 

troublesome to obtain permission from the police and fire departments, Shizuku, y ou are 

really good.  


    As soon as the doors opened, customers poured into the Seitetsu Academy campus. 

Because until ten years ago, this was an aristocratic girls' school, it was rumored that the 

school had more intellectual elites. Although I have reservations about this po int of view, 

Seitetsu Academy is still very popular in the outside world.  


    The popular Natural Stone Girls' Department, although the Men's Department is also 

accessible, there is no way to make up for the gap. Most people practice "Go to the women's 

department first, and then go to the men's department when they are really fr ee." 


    Class 4, Grade 2, Boys' Division, was supposed to be the "lounge." It couldn't be more 

relaxing. Later, I heard that this "lounge" was a huge hit with the exhausted fathers. Some 

even slept all day.  


    Of course, flyers were also being distributed unnoticed, but they were said to be so 

popular that they were running low.  


    Then came the girls' division.  


    "Welcome back, Master."  


    "Welcome back."  


    "Welcome back."  


    The girls all bowed their heads. The "quasi -maid restaurant" being held in Class 4, Grade 2, 

had been a chaotic affair since early morning.  


    Since there were so few restaurants, the demand was high. But here, the action was 

serious, and it was quite decadent. You can see the faces of the "maids on duty today" 

posted on the corridor walls, so customers can identify them and name their maids.  Even 

though there's an extra charge for requesting a table, customers keep coming.  


    Besides, Class 4, Grade 2, is already full of beautiful girls. Even those who might not 

normally stand out can look completely different with a little makeup. If I just keep my mouth 

shut, I'll probably attract more repeat customers. Of course, the unn ecessary talk here 

means money.  


    As for me, I'm just working as usual.  


    "Seno -san, table three, please."  


    I answer "Yes," and walk over to table three with a tray of cups and napkins.  


    This place accepts food tickets, which also allow you to request a maid. I've been flitting 

between tables since the beginning.  


    My photo in the hallway is the biggest, and my profile says "Beauty Pageant Appearance." 

Naturally, more customers are coming to see it in person.  


    The class president had decided on this policy. "If Seno -san wins the beauty pageant, we'll 

have more customers the next day." Or something like that? You'd better be a policy 

secretary for a politician, right?  


    "Sorry to have kept you waiting, master."  


    A boy with a shaved head, looking like a simple athlete, sat down on the table, cups and 

napkins placed on the table.  


    He tore off half of my meal coupon and said nothing, simply staring at me devouringly.  


    Well, he'd probably care. After all, this dress exposes all the shoulders and emphasizes the 

bust. The skirt is quite short, the back is open, and on her feet are long stockings and high 

heels instead of boots. The accounting classmate said something l ike, "Victory will be 

determined by impact," and then he got it from nowhere.  


    Although this is just my feeling, the guy who came up with this design can die, I was stared 

at in this store.  


    "Big... Big sister,"  


    the middle school student said nervously.  


    "I heard... you... are entering a beauty pageant?"  


    "... Yes."  


    He replied, trying his best to force a smile.  


    "I... I will support you... I saw the pictures... you... are very beautiful..."  


    His face flushed, as if he was not used to talking to women.  


    "... Thank you very much."  


    "I will go to see it, please do your best!"  


    He said this and ran out of the store and disappeared.  


    Maybe it's because he doesn't usually talk to girls in his grade. I am the same, so I 

understand. But my feelings are very complicated now. Am I going to bully my little brother 

like this?  


    I can only pick up the cups and napkins I just put away.  


    "Natsuru -chan, just leave that one alone and take this first."  


    The vice -class representative handed me a tray. She was also wearing a maid outfit, but a 

formal one with an apron and a long skirt. It looked so suitable and cute, and it was really 

hard to let go.  


    "It's that table."  


    I walked towards the place where the vice -class representative pointed.  


    "Sorry to have kept you waiting, master..."  


    I just said the usual line, but I couldn't say the second sentence. The guests sitting there 

were from the second grade, fourth class of the boys' department, that is, Higashida and his 

friends.  


    This guy looked at me with a genuinely happy expression.  


    "Are you Seno Natsuru!?"  


    Someone stepped forward and asked. It was Hanzawa.  


    "...Yes."  


    "Wow, there is also a girl named Seno in our class, but she is completely different. You are 

such a beautiful girl."  


    "...Thank you."  


    It's the same person, even though you can't understand it.  


    Hanzawa kept exclaiming "Awesome, awesome!" as if a screw was missing from his brain. 

Higashida was proudly saying, "I've known this girl for a long time."  


    I tried my best to play it cool.  


    "Is that all you ordered?"  


    "Why don't you go on a date with me?"  


    Higashida said, "Do you have a thick skin?"  


    "Sorry... about this..."  


    "Weren't you okay before?"  


    I'm talking to you.  


    I cursed in my heart but the smile on my face remained, it was practiced.  


    "Can we take a photo together? As a souvenir."  


    "Service like this..."  


    It's impossible. Customer flow will slow down.  


    "Thank you very much. Here's the photo with Seno -san."  


    The class monitor appeared out of nowhere. Behind her, the accountant pressed a 

calculator.  


    "The photo is 500 yen per person. If we provide the equipment and develop it on the spot, 

it's 1,000 yen." She  


    quickly handed over the price list. When was it made?  


    "...That's a pretty good price."  


    Hanzawa complained.  


    "It's still a cheap price to take a photo with the mysterious beautiful girl Seno Natsuru."  


    "That's true."  


    Hey, don't just accept it like that.  


    Since I'm a member of the Bishoujo Research Club, I still brought a camera. So I lined up 

with me in the middle, and it was the class leader who pressed the shutter.  


    "Come a little closer... Yeah, that's it. It's okay if you stick to Seno -san."  


    I mind it a lot, don't stick to me.  


    "Then... eggplant~"  


    Snap, my maid costume was stored in the memory card of the digital camera.  


    Higashida looked very satisfied.  


    "Thank you, I heard you're going to participate in a beauty pageant? I will support you."  


    "...Thank you."  


    He stretched out his right hand, and I smiled and refused to shake hands.  


    "That's all, I hope to see you at the venue."  


    Higashida was still thinking, "Who will see you?"  


    He sent the gang away with a "Goodbye." "Master, if possible, please don't come back."  


    "...This is a cash cow,"  


    the accounting classmate murmured.  


    "Five hundred yen, one thousand yen, these simple, fixed prices don't seem bad. At least it 

saves us some trouble."  


    "You think I'm..."  


    "This is all for the beauty pageant."  


    She interrupted my complaint. Is that really the case?  


    The class monitor looked at the clock on the wall. It was a hanging clock that he had 

bought from a second -hand market specifically to create an atmosphere.  


    "It's about time to get ready for the beauty pageant."  


    "Really?"  


    "Leave this to us, Seno -san, and go to the venue."  


    "But... the clothes..."  


    "Here."  


    The accounting student shoved a paper bag into my hand.  


    "Here's a complete set. It's perfect. Winning is a no -brainer."  


    "Oh..."  


    "The venue is absolutely stunning, too."  


    I mumbled, "Really?" and tried to look inside the paper bag, but the accounting student 

immediately and forcefully stopped me.  


    "You can't look here."  


    "...Huh?"  


    "Please don't change until you're leaving. You can look then."  


    "...Why?"  


    "No reason. Please go."  


    I was pushed by two people into the "Maid Cafe."  


    The changing room for the beauty pageant was a makeshift shed built in a corner of the 

school. They didn't use existing buildings, supposedly to prevent voyeurism. It would have 

been troublesome to install cameras beforehand, so this was specially buil t. The path from 

here to the women's gymnasium, the venue, is covered with curtains.  


    I completed the entry procedures at the tournament headquarters. The staff member took 

one look at me and said, "Is this Seno -san?" and handed me a name tag. Before I knew it, 

everyone was recognizing my face. Was it because of that newspaper article a bout the yuri 

incident?  


    I took the clothes my accounting classmate gave me and walked into the changing room. 

The door was double, so I couldn't see inside.  


    Most of the participants were already inside. As expected, it was a recommended place. 

Every girl was beautiful. I'd never seen so many beautiful women at once, and I was a little 

overwhelmed.  


    I wanted to find a corner to change.  


    "Ah, Natsuru -san, please come here."  


    It was Sakura Kaede who called me.  


    "Don't change in the corner, change in the middle."  


    "No...a corner is fine..."  


    "No way, beautiful people should be in the spotlight."  


    So my luggage was placed on the table in the middle.  


    Regardless of whether I am beautiful or not, I really attract attention here. The girls around 

me have been glancing at me from the beginning. There is also  


    a large paper bag next to my luggage. Whose is it?  


    "This is mine. It's a gift for everyone."  


    What is it?  


    She rummaged through the paper bag and took out something wrapped in a plastic bag.  


    "It's my beloved children." It's  


    a dirty doll. I know the name of this guy, "Fingernail Boar", who used a gang as a selling 

point and attracted widespread criticism.  


    "I'm handing it out to everyone I meet, even if it's just one person, hoping they'll like the 

dirty doll."  


    Sakura Kaede said this. She also wanted to give me one but I refused emphatically because 

I already had one.  


    But then it was just as Shizuku had guessed, Sakura Kaede, the dirty doll, and the girls. 

They were destructive in every sense.  


    Do I have to be on guard too? Hmm... I always feel that everything is within Shizuku's 

calculations, which makes me feel uncomfortable.  


    "What's wrong?"  


    "...Nothing."  


    "Do you have clothes to change into?"  


    "Hmm..."  


    Although it was given to me by the guys from Class 4, Grade 2 of the Girls' Department.  


    "What kind of clothes are they? I'm so looking forward to it."  


    "Sakura Kaede...what are you wearing...?"  


    I looked at Sakura Kaede and asked. She had already changed.  


    "What's wrong?"  


    "That... is beautiful..."  


    Sakura Kaede blushed. "Thank you."  

[[File:23771.jpg|thumb]]
    These weren't polite words. I could say Sakura Kaede looked beautiful in anything, but this 

one was special. It was a wedding dress.  


    Pure white, like a bride's. Many of the contestants wore formal gowns to emphasize their 

curves, but Sakura Kaede did the opposite.  


    While the intention was obvious, it suited Sakura Kaede perfectly. Any notion of it being 

out of place was completely forgotten.  


    "I'm so happy that Natsuru praised me..."  


    "Really... it's beautiful..."  


    They all felt that participating in a beauty pageant was a waste. Sakura Kaede's classmates 

must have taken advantage of the lack of a dress code; they clearly had some smart counsel.  


    "What does Natsuru -san's look like?"  


    "...I don't know yet."  


    The luggage didn't seem very heavy, but it seemed to have a lot of props. I  


    looked inside.  


    "...!?"  


    I swallowed my sorrow.  


    "Natsuru -san, what happened?"  


    "No...that..."  


    "No clothes?"  


    "Yes, yes..."  


    "Please let me see."  


    "No, that..."  


    I hid the paper bag behind me, and Sakura Kaede pouted.  


    "No~ I need to help Natsuru -san change his clothes."  


    "Do it yourself..."  


    "Please let me help."  


    Sakura Kaede kept approaching, and at this moment.  


    "The bride, please wait over there,"  


    the figure who had inserted herself between us said to Sakura Kaede.  


    "This is not a place for fun. It will cause trouble for the other contestants."  


    "...Akane -san"  


    It was Akane Mishima, glaring at Sakura Kaede from behind her glasses.  


    "Why are you causing trouble again? What's the relationship between Akane -san and 

Natsuru -san?"  


    "I...we're classmates and friends."  


    "We're friends too. We even went on a date."  


    "That was just Sakura Kaede dragging you out on your own accord. She even insisted that 

Natsuru -san go to the movies with you..."  


    "You know everything. We're just that close."  


    "That's not true...I...we...are even better friends."  


    Neither of them gave in. Although they spoke quietly, the atmosphere still attracted 

everyone's attention. Wow, Minagawa -san looked over.  


    "Please move out of Akane -san's way."  


    "No...I...I've decided to protect Natsuru -san."  


    "Protect? What do you mean?"  


    Yes, that's what I mean.  


    "That's exactly what it means, to avoid pests..."  


    "Who are you calling the pests? Natsuru understands my feelings, so there's no question of 

protecting them."  


    "I... I'll protect both Natsuru students."  


    She said it so bluntly. Eh? What? Two?  


    Neither of them responded to my tiny question, continuing their standoff. It was like a 

wrestling final.  


    "Sakura Kaede, please go back."  


    "It should be Akane -san who should go back, right? Aren't you an independent?"  


    "I'm not an independent."  


    "Volunteers shouldn't be allowed in here."  


    "I'm not a volunteer right now."  


    Akane unexpectedly pulled out her number plate.  


    "I... I'm also participating, so I can be here."  


    This startled not only Sakura Kaede, but me as well.  


    Right now, Akane is just a collection of simple people; it's hard to pinpoint a defining 

characteristic. If I had to say, she's the glasses case and book committee member, but those 

are all special crowd -pleasing people. For her to compete like this, s he'd need incredible 

determination or someone to instigate her, or both.  


    Let me be clear: at this point, I didn't even know it was Shizuku who was behind  


    this. "...Then we're competitors,"  


    said Sakura Kaede.  


    "Yes..."  


    "I see. I'll leave it at that for today, but please remember, I'll confess my feelings to 

Natsuru -san on stage."  


    Eh!? Dressed like this!?  


    She's serious, her eyes are serious. Sakura Kaede, I'm happy about this, but if you can, 

could you do it to a guy like me? If you do that in a beauty pageant, there's no way I'll 

escape.  


    Although I wanted to say all this, I couldn't. It seemed like she wouldn't listen even if I did. 

She's so serious about it.  


    Akane, who had just vowed to protect me, was also stunned. I thought so too.  


    Sakura Kaede turned around and walked towards the preparation room. "... I was startled."  


    I said as quietly as possible.  


    "... confession or something..."  


    Akane was still shocked.  


    "Sakura Kaede is serious about it... what should I do..."  


    "What should I do... and... protecting me or something..."  


    "... I'm serious about it too."  


    She is serious. I have another source of headache.  


    The problem is Sakura Kaede, is she going to confess on stage, in a wedding dress? If so, 

we'll become a couple that everyone knows about the next day. Besides, Sakura Kaede has so 

many fans, wouldn't I have to live in fear every day?  


    "...Why not just fail in the preliminaries?"  


    "Well...it seems the rules have changed, there are no preliminaries..."  


    "Uh..."  


    Do I have to go no matter what, Shizuku, I have no way out now.  


    "Natsuru -san, where are your clothes..."  


    "Oh, right, they're here...but..."  


    I don't want to change, so I show Akane the inside of the paper bag.  


    "...What's this?"  


    "It's the accounting classmate's hobby...right."  


    Inside were leather hot pants and suspenders, as well as a Nazi guard cap.  


    There's no shirt or anything like that, which means I have to use suspenders to cover the 

key part of my chest. It looks like Charlotte Rampling no matter how you look at it. What? 

You don't know her? That's the erotic actress who danced erotically in "The Night Porter."  


    There were whips and machine guns in there, like some Italian SM movie.  


    "Would you like to wear this...?"  


    "No... these... The seams on these shorts are so fragile, they'd fall apart if I stood on the 

stage."  


    She was trying to attract attention like this. What a terrifying plot, a human bomb.  


    If I don't wear this, I'll have to wear my current miniskirt maid outfit. If I move a little, I'll be 

exposed. What should I do?  


    "...I'll go get some other clothes."  


    Akane said.  


    "There should be more clothes in the class... Although Natsuru -san may not like them..."  


    "Okay, now is not the time to be picky."  


    Akane trotted out of the locker room.  


    I sighed. Why is it always so noisy around me? Although I feel sorry for Akane and Sakura 

Kaede, it is really much quieter when they are not around.  


    But if this happens, the "Support Sakura Kaede" plan will have to be reconsidered. 

Although I hope she can win, it might turn out to be a proposal.  


    There is basically no one in the locker room because it is about to start.  


    "You look bad."  


    Startled, I turned around and found Shizuku standing there.  


    "I watched it all from beginning to end."  


    "...When did it start?"  


    "Don't worry about the details."  


    How could I not care? If you had been there, you would have known about the dispute 

between Sakura Kaede and Akane. Why didn't she notice you at all?  


    "What for?"  


    "I'm a contestant too."  


    That's true.  


    "I came here to change clothes, although I have other things to do."  


    "...Dirty stuffed dolls?"  


    "Yeah, yes. There are a lot of Kaede, and almost every girl participating in the competition 

has one."  


    "Stop it, then."  


    "What do you mean by stop it?"  


    There was indeed no reason to forbid it, but since there was a possibility of becoming a 

messenger, it would be okay to impose a reason.  


    "It doesn't matter who becomes the new Kämpfer, as long as they keep an eye on me. I 

have something to ask that person, too."  


    I felt like Shizuku was laughing. Ugh... you really want to torture me, huh?  


    "...Suit yourself."  


    "I will. If you see Kämpfer, tell me."  


    "I'm your enemy."  


    "Don't you owe me? With interest?"  


    "...Got it."  


    Damn it, you loan shark.  


    Since I have nothing else to do, I might as well observe the girls competing. It wouldn't be 

too late to report when someone transforms or when a dirty doll talks. The rest is Shizuku's 

business.  


    I waved, "I understand," and walked out of the locker room.  


    "Oh, I need to change clothes..."  


    "Someone got it for me."  


    "No, you have no interest in my changing clothes."  


    "No."  


    I felt like I was going to be eaten.  


    Shizuku muttered to me, "This man is so weak." It's okay if he's weak.  


    By the way, something like this seems to have happened in my house. I don't know why 

Shizuku and Akane overlapped.  


    I had just changed my clothes when the beauty pageant started.  


    The girls' gymnasium was packed with boys and girls from Seitetsu Academy. There was no 

place to put their feet. According to rumors, fake tickets appeared, so the audience was 

much larger than expected.  


    The skylight was open and the ventilation fan was on full blast, but I still felt the 

temperature rising sharply.  


    "Ladies and gentlemen, and parents~"  


    the host holding the microphone was saying an old -fashioned sneer.  


    "The Miss Seitetsu beauty pageant is finally here. The most beautiful girl in the college will 

soon appear before your eyes. Please keep your eyes open. Those who didn't sleep well 

should put in eye drops to watch. I am the host, Masumi Nishino. Please  give me your 

guidance."  


    She spoke very fluently. Then there was thunderous applause. Masumi, I thought you were 

doing this somewhere.  


    "For this competition, you are both spectators and judges. Please confirm the buttons in 

your hands. If you press them according to my instructions, the number of votes will be 

displayed on the screen."  


    There was a large electronic fluorescent screen behind Masumi. I don't know where they 

borrowed it from. It seems that there is an industry that specializes in renting these.  


    "Please don't press the button yet. The contestants are still preparing carefully behind the 

scenes. If you are really interested, please read the brochure in your hand to confirm your 

name and number."  


    She is really experienced. Her voice is not her usual trailing tone. She seems to be in more 

than 20 clubs, and is the broadcasting club one of them?  


    I watched Masumi from outside the stage. From this preparation room, you can see the 

entire stage and the audience seats are also very clear. I feel like more than half of the 

people have a special brochure made by the Bishoujo Research Association in their hands. 

Am I being too suspicious?  


    On the other hand, in the preparation room, it is quite elegant. There is no sense of 

tension before the final battle at all. If the class monitor and others were here, they would 

probably use stimulants.  


    But things were different on either side of me. To my right was Sakura Kaede, to my left 

was Akane, each of them casting a cold, hostile gaze at the other, and I was stuck in the 

middle.  


    "Akane -san's outfit... is really unique," Sakura Kaede  


    preempted. Akane was wearing a solid -colored shirt, denim shorts, and a well -worn jacket, 

giving the impression of a period costume that transcended modern fashion.  


    "Is that how you're going to capture the audience's hearts?"  


    "Please... please leave me alone. I'm only trying to protect Natsuru -san. The results of the 

beauty pageant don't matter... Sakura Kaede... such a long skirt... are you trying to help mop 

the stage floor?"  


    Wedding dresses usually have long trains, carried by the chosen children, but of course, 

there were no children there.  


    "That's a harsh thing to say."  


    "It was... it was Sakura Kaede who said that first."  


    "Let's have a beauty pageant to see who's a better match for Natsuru -san."  


    "That's... exactly what I want." What kind of victory or defeat is this? What's your 

response, Akane?  


    By the way, I'm wearing the maid outfit used by the "Maid -like Cafe" —a long skirt. Akane 

secretly took it out for me.  


    The verbal restraint was over, but sparks still flew. Caught in the middle, I could only pray, 

"Let it end soon."  


    "It's about to start, everyone, please get ready,"  


    said the staff, "Okay~," the girls replied.  


    Music played on the stage, and the spotlights came on.  


    "First, number one, please welcome Makie Ueda from Class 5, Grade 1!"  


    A petite girl walked onto the stage, wearing a rather unusual sailor suit. True to the legend 

of her idol audition, her face was small but her features were distinct.  


    "I'm Makie Ueda, and I'd like to sing a song for everyone."  


    After bowing, she began to sing along to the accompaniment.  


    It was from a song from the once -popular anime, the one named after a planet from Sailor 

Wars. So, this sailor suit is cosplay.  


    Because she's older, most of the guests in the venue didn't know about it. I didn't know 

either, but Akane explained it to me. As expected of a late -night geek, she even tapped her 

feet to the beat.  


    Some of the audience, seemingly like Akane, stood up and sang along, both men and 

women. Anime culture is truly something to behold.  


    Makie sang four songs in one breath before stopping. Following the clapping, the stage 

was opened, and Masumi took the stage.  


    "Thank you, Ueda Makie~ Doesn't the song sound a bit nostalgic? Well, everyone, please 

get your buttons ready, one, two, three, please press the buttons!"  


    The numbers on the electronic fluorescent screen spun around with a crackling sound, and 

then with a click, the numbers stopped.  


    "Uh... it's one hundred and eighty -four points! That's amazing~ It seems there are quite a 

few hidden fans who didn't sing along!"  


    This guy was saying something unnecessary, and also, how many points is a perfect score.  


    "Next up, Minagawa Hitomi from Class 3, Grade 3, please."  


    The numbers were not in order of the 50 -character kana; they were decided on the spot.  


    Hitomi Minagawa was wearing a dress, and because she was in the track and field club, 

she had a great figure. The boys in the audience cheered, "Ohhhh!"  


    "I'm Minagawa, and my specialty is the 400 -meter run, but I can't run here, so I'm showing 

off my flexibility."  


    She started twisting her body this way and that, no, that's too rude. She was doing forward 

bends and other things, and bending all parts of her body this way and that. Did she grow up 

jealous or is she a yoga expert? She was just like a gymnast. She e ven did fish movements.  


    Every time she leaned over, she emphasized her breasts, so the boys cheered. Although 

photography was prohibited, some people still took pictures secretly, like Hanzawa.  


    After sweating a little, she said, "It's over." The boys gave her a warm round of applause.  


    "Thank you, Hitomi Minagawa~ Your dress is dazzling." Then the points will start to be 

accumulated. One, two, three, please press the button!  


<nowiki>    Pa pa pa pa pa, ding~~~  </nowiki>


    "One hundred and ninety... six, one hundred and ninety -six points! Minagawa -san leads 

Ueda -san and is now in first place!"  


    The venue was boiling. Although two people were pointed out for not being present, the 

atmosphere was very lively due to the audience voting system.  


    The competition was still going on. The talents performed on the stage were not only 

singing and playing musical instruments, but also telling jokes and performing mental 

arithmetic. There was even a girl performing magic tricks to make pigeons appear.  


    The numbers were getting closer, and I was at the back. I was  


    inexplicably nervous.  


    Thinking carefully, this was only the second time I had stood in front of so many people. 

That's all. When I was in elementary school, I was praised in front of the whole school for 

helping an old man cross the street, but I didn't show any talent that  time.  


    Since then, I haven't had the experience of appearing in front of a class of more than 30 

people, and I was almost speechless. At this moment, I think the candidates who give 

election speeches are really amazing.  


    Classmate Sakura Kaede next to me also looked restless. It turned out that she was still 

nervous.  


    "...Aren't you coming yet..."  


    "Huh?"  


    "Oh, I'm sorry, because Shizuku is not here..."  


    said Sakura Kaede. So there was indeed no sign of Shizuku in the preparation room. 

Although she was the president of the student union, she was also a beauty pageant 

contestant.  


    "She must be very busy..."  


    "But... I've never seen her late..."  


    Sakura Kaede stood up in her wedding dress.  


    "I'm going to look for her... Natsuru -san."  


    What's the matter?  


    "Can you come with me?"  


    "...I'll be there soon... Sakura Kaede..."  


    "Please, it would be bad if anything happened to Shizuku."  


    No matter what happens, that woman will be able to solve it. Sakura Kaede was worried 

about her because the two of them were childhood sweethearts.  


    I agreed. Akane next to me seemed very unhappy, but there was nothing she could do.  


    I walked out of the preparation room and went to the back of the stage. I couldn't go to 

the audience seats.  


    I came to a room where large props and costumes for the performance were placed.  


    Sakura Kaede looked at me.  


    "...Here, is it okay?"  


    "Huh...?"  


    Sakura Kaede's expression was very serious. Since her friend was missing, she should be 

serious, but something seemed wrong.  


    "Natsuru -san...I...I..."  


    "Huh? ...Huh!?"  


    Sakura Kaede suddenly hugged me, and her hands went around my back and held on 

tightly.  


    "Sakura Kaede...what...is wrong!?"  


    “I’m sorry to bring you here.”  


    “…Where’s the president…”  


    “I was lying to you, Shizuku, don’t worry. I just wanted to be alone with Natsuru.”  


    Her eyes were a little moist, and she was super cute. She was cute, but what was going on?  


    The room was dark, and I, as a girl, was being hugged by a bride in a wedding dress.  


    “I… am nervous… and uneasy. I’ve clearly decided… to do this here… to let everyone 

recognize me and Natsuru…”  


    In a way, I was also feeling uneasy.  


    “I can’t go on like this, I know I can’t go on like this, but I can’t stop shaking… maybe… I’ll 

be unable to bear it…”  


    Actually, it’s me who’s in trouble.  


    If I were a man, I would definitely hug Sakura Kaede tightly and comfort her with loving 

words. Then, I’d wear a white dress and walk down the aisle with the bride.  


    But now I’m a girl, and if we become a recognized couple like this, wouldn’t I, as a man, 

never be able to appear in broad daylight again? The resolution I vowed to support Sakura 

Kaede easily vanished, and now all I could think about was “What should I do?”  


    “…Natsuru -san…”  


    “…Yes…”  


    "Please... give me... courage..."  


    What courage?  


    Looking at Sakura Kaede again, I was so embarrassed that I almost felt like going to the 

moon. She raised her head and closed her eyes.  


    "... That..."  


    "Please..."  


    What kind of request is this? It's the same as when Shizuku was there, the only difference 

is that I'm a woman now. If I were a man, I would have kidnapped Sakura Kaede by now. 

Then I would have found a job in a government agency far away and lived a l eisurely life.  


    Now is not the time to escape from reality. There is no government agency but there is 

Sakura Kaede, and she is still asking for a kiss.  


    From afar, I heard Masumi's voice, "Thank you very much~ Next is the eye -catching Sakura 

Kaede~"  


    But Sakura Kaede did not leave, as if she would not move if she didn't get what she 

wanted. A salesman.  


    "Sakura Kaede...it's your turn..."  


    "I know...so please hurry up...I won't force it..."  


    This is called forcing.  


    "Um...or..."  


    "Just gently...please give it to me...please..."  


    "If you don't mind the bullet, I'll give it to you."  


    Along with the rough voice of Horie Yui, the body of a pistol popped out.  


    After the transformation, Akane inserted herself between Sakura Kaede and me. To be 
[[File:23772.jpg|thumb]]
more precise, she inserted a pistol. The eyes of the mastiff girl were full of murderous intent.  


    "I was wondering why you didn't come back yet. It turns out that you are preparing to have 

sex in such a dark place. You are more unrestrained than the actors of 'Red Flamingo'. What 

are you? Dogs in heat?"  


    You are a dog, right?  


    Of course, she couldn't say this out loud. If she said the wrong thing, this guy would 

definitely shoot her without hesitation. She was so angry now.  


    "You... who are you?"  


    asked Sakura Kaede bravely.  


    "The partner of this bastard."  


    "... Could it be... before in the library..."  


    "Oh~ you still remember, it's commendable."  


    "What do you want to do to us!?"  


    "What...? Can't you see it, you stinky woman? Huh?"  


    Akane pointed the gun at Sakura Kaede.  


    "You are really brave to attack this guy. To express my gratitude, I am about to shoot a 

45ACP into your head. It's pointless to just protect. The enemy must be killed one by one. It's 

'SEARCHANDDESTROY'."  


    "What... is your relationship with Natsuru..."  


    "It's Kämpfer."  


    Huh? Why did you say that, you idiot? Stop joking.  


    Someone on the stage was trying to smooth things over because Sakura Kaede didn't 

appear. "It seems like the preparations are taking a long time. Please wait a moment~ Did 

you know~? All the letters of the alphabet except A and F of Fujiko Fujio's name  are buried 

<nowiki>under Tokiwa's villa~~~" Who knows that?  </nowiki>


    "That's it, Amen or Amitabha, just say whichever you like."  


    My finger was about to pull the trigger, but Sakura Kaede was still stiff. This was bad.  


    "Idiot! Don't!"  


    My body moved immediately, grabbing the gun with one hand and pressing Akane's 

stomach with the other.  


    We can't use magic here. It's even more unscientific than pistol magic, and we won't be 

able to make do with it when the time comes. Although it was just empty talk, it seemed that 

Akane took it seriously.  


    "Natsuru, you bastard..."  


    "Sakura Kaede,"  


    I ignored the Mastiff girl.  


    "Yes, yes!"  


    she replied half -reflexively.  


    "Leave this to me. Please go on stage. Or run away, I'll convince this woman..."  


    Wow, she said a lot, and because her voice was the same as when she was a man, she was 

usually very silent.  


    Although I don't know what Sakura Kaede took it from me.  


    "I understand. I'll go on stage. It's so lucky that Natsuru -san saved me."  


    "...Okay, so please hurry."  


    Sakura Kaede went, but she couldn't run because she was wearing a wedding dress.  


    I breathed a sigh of relief and let go of my hand.  


    There was a click!  


    "...It hurts..."  


    I was hit hard by the butt of the gun, and in front of me, the Mastiff girl was dancing tango 

with Fury.  


    "You really like to meddle in other people's business."  


    I could almost hear the sound of gnashing teeth.  


    "If that's not the case, just shoot me."  


    "I shot you, so what? I heard that Kaede's brain smells like a pig's, I just wanted to confirm 

it." 


    "What are you thinking about?"  


    What kind of book would make you talk like that? Is there a dictionary of venomous words 

in the library?  


    "That's really annoying, Natsuru."  


    Akane put the gun to my forehead and rubbed it deliberately, and the sound went into my 

head.  


    "What are you angry about? You're too irritable."  


    "I wanted to say I'm angry about everything, but it's mainly about your attitude towards 

that bitch."  


    "Don't say anything about bitch... Don't say bad things about Sakura Kaede..."  


    "That's it."  


    The bulldog girl put her finger on the trigger. Wow, this is too dangerous.  


    "I'm not happy with you calling that bitch like that. What's so good about that woman?"  


    "Of course there are many good things about her. First of all, she's a beautiful woman, and 

then her personality..."  


    "I don't want to know your reasons."  


    Akane simply increased the strength of her fingers.  


    "Baka, baka, let go quickly, it will kill me."  


    "I just want you to know how angry I am."  


    "What's the use of knowing?"  


    She raised the muzzle of the gun again.  


    "Do you know? The reason why I'm angry. Use your pitiful little brain to think about it."  


    After a little thought,  


    "... I'm confused."  


    This is the truth. Why is this dog barking like that?  


    Akane's face changed suddenly.  


    "...Heh, this is even better than all the test answers I've seen so far. Too bad, you look like a 

cactus in the desert."  


    What the hell, why do you say that to me even though I gave an honest answer.  


    But no matter what I said, she wouldn't listen.  


    "You know what, Natsuru -sama, as long as it's that idiot Sakura Kaede, I'm willing to give 

her as many bullets as she wants."  


    "Cancel this order."  


    "No, you can pay later."  


    The venue was boiling, and cheers of "So beautiful~" and "So beautiful~" could be heard 

here. It seemed that Sakura Kaede in a wedding dress had appeared, and Masumi was also 

very excited.  


    "This is amazing! Sakura Kaede from Class 2, Grade 2, is here dressed as a bride!"  


    Applause and cheers echoed. Light streamed in, and a peek revealed the audience had all 

risen to their feet.  


    "This may be abrupt, but I'd like to interview Sakura Kaede. Why did you choose such an 

outfit?"  


    "Well... I want to wear it in front of someone..."  


    A powerful voice echoed from the audience.  


    "Who is it~~!!!"  


    "That's still a secret, though I've already shown it to that person."  


    Whistle, clap, clap, and even small cannons —the atmosphere was already wild with 

excitement.  


    "So... we're about to enter the palace of happiness?"  


    "Well... not yet, but I'll knock that person down with this pose~"  


    "Oh~ that's amazing. Who's going to win in life!... Hmm? Is that the bouquet?"  


    "Yes, give it to everyone in the audience, so we can share in happiness."  


    "Oh~"  


    The audience erupted again. Shouts of "Here, here!" "Throw it hard!"  


    The lively atmosphere had already spread to the room, and Akane's mood grew 

increasingly sour in proportion to the noise.  


    "Stop pretending, that bitch...!"  


    "Don't make noise."  


    On the stage, Sakura Kaede turned her back to the audience, holding the bouquet in both 

hands.  


    "Here we go! One, two, three!"  


    It wasn't the bouquet that was damaged; it was the woman pointing the gun at me who 

had a severed blood vessel. There's no mistake, I heard it.  


    "...That bitch!"  


    Akane flew out of the room.  


    When a completely unknown woman, Akane, appeared on the stage, the venue was 

already in a state of great excitement. Sakura Kaede's wedding dress and the act of throwing 

the bouquet were already shocking enough.  


    At this time, the bulldog girl appeared, waving a gun.  


    "Hey! Kaede!"  


    Akane pointed the muzzle of the gun straight at Sakura Kaede, and the audience also 

noticed this.  


    "What a boring performance, is it time for confession next?  


    "...Are you going to mess up again?"  


    "What kind of mess up? I want to shoot you right now, and you still have a calm face."  


    Masumi, who was at the side of the stage, was desperately flipping through the roster.  


    "Uh... this is... Akane Mishima from Class 4, Grade 2... No,  


    that's correct. Since Mishima has waived her right, the mysterious girl A will now take the 

stage! It's a brand new performance!" What the hell? Even so, it's perfectly fine.  


    The murderous dialogue continued on the stage.  


    "Shooting the bride is like a bloodbath at the wedding."  


    "Are you trying to stop me from confessing?"  


    "Even though you say that, I just saw it. What did you put in your bouquet? It's not just 

flowers."  


    Sakura Kaede looked confused.  


    "What do you mean?"  


    "...Don't you want to answer?"  


    Akane narrowed her eyes. The entire audience was hushed by the pressure. It was like a 

movie, but I couldn't just sit there. I rushed out.  


    I appeared on the stage. Akane pointed her gun at Sakura Kaede without moving, ready to 

fire at any moment.  


    Using the strength of Kämpfer, I leaped up and landed between the two.  


    She was surprised to see my body blocking Sakura Kaede.  


    "I've got her! Get out!"  


    "Don't, don't shoot!"  


    Masumi exclaimed as if she had suddenly realized something. "Oh! Now comes the 

righteous partner who protects the bride! Seno Natsuru from Class 4, Grade 2!"  


    The audience, thinking it was a continuation of the performance, were agitated. If one 

listened carefully, one could hear the cries of "It's not that!" "We've been tricked!" Perhaps it 

was the class monitor and the others.  


    Akane didn't turn her attention to the audience.  


    "Get out of here! This guy knows something!"  


    "That's not necessary now, put your guns away."  


    Although I don't know what Akane guessed, it would be bad if she fired a gun in this place.  


    "Do you really want to hear Kaede's lines?"  


    "No, that's not what I'm talking about now..."  


    I saw her finger on the trigger tighten, it was terrible.  


    Akane fired, and I jumped with my classmate Sakura Kaede in my arms. Kämpfer's power is 

useful at times like this.  


    The bullet made a hole in the wall behind us. I hope the guests can mistake it for a special 

effect.  


    After landing, I rolled on the ground holding my classmate Sakura Kaede's head. At this 

time, bullets kept coming.  


    Akane also jumped up, closing the distance. Her eyes were terrifying. She was serious and 

there was no way she would show mercy.  


    "Looks like you two want to die together!?"  


    Sorry, I have to save classmate Sakura Kaede.  


    Akane jumped up again, running and shooting. With the help of "chance", I managed to 

escape. The sound of gunfire echoed on the stage, and there was no less excitement.  


    "Such realistic acting! Two girls fighting for a bride! The excitement of the first place in the 

cultural festival is so hot, why not watch it now?"  


    Masumi has become the commentator on the ring, and the audience stomped their feet 

on the floor like drunk African natives.  


    "Don't run away!"  


    "If you don't run away, I'll shoot you!"  


    She kept shooting, regardless of whether I was running away or not.  


    "If you stop, I'll kill you!"  


    "This kind of thing... wow!"  


    I slipped and accidentally stepped on Sakura Kaede's wedding dress.  


    I rolled over and tried to get up. But when I looked up, I saw the black pistol in Akane's 

hand.  


    "...I got you."  


    The mastiff girl's fur stood up, she was not joking.  


    "Don't block her."  


    "...You will shoot, right?"  


    "Yes, but I have something to ask you. Her performance just now made me realize that she 

definitely knows something."  


    That bouquet tossing performance?  


    "Know what..."  


    "I just know something. I can't put it into words, but I feel it. Kämpfer's intuition."  


    This guy called herself Kämpfer again. Fortunately, the sound didn't reach the audience, 

but Sakura Kaede heard it.  


    "You...said the same thing as Shizuku."  


    "Huh, the same thing as that president? Never mind, I will kill this woman."  


    What should I do? Sakura Kaede is in my arms. Should I hand her over to her or not? What 

Akane said is also very worrying, but if I listen to her, I will die.  


    I was silent. When Akane came over anxiously,  


    a figure floated down from above. A figure  


    with black hair in a sailor suit, no, it was light golden yellow, it was Shizuku. She landed 

between Akane and me.  


    "Oh~ Another intruder appeared at this time! Student Union President Shizuku Sangou! 

She is so handsome with a dagger!"  


    Masumi said while swinging the microphone vigorously.  


    Shizuku said to Akane,  


    "Stop it."  


    "Don't stop me!"  


    The fierce dog girl fired, and Shizuku actually blocked it with her short sword. Cheers came 

from all over the venue.  


    "Go, President~!"  


    "Don't lose, stranger!!"  


    The audience was very excited. Because it happened on the stage, it was considered a 

wonderful performance.  


    The short sword with a chain stabbed at the excited Akane.  


    "I'll commend you for noticing that, but now is not the time."  


    "Who cares! And who listens to you!"  


    "I'm not begging you, just stop it."  


    Shizuku's eyes were also serious.  


    The different momentum made Akane swallow the words that were about to come to her 

throat. Then she smiled slightly.  


    "Interesting, let's have a showdown here."  


    "That won't do either."  


    "No way, go to hell!"  


    "...Then I'll just have to ask you to get some sleep, everyone."  


    Shizuku moved.  


    Like a whirlwind, the dagger flew at a speed too fast for the eye to catch, hitting me, 

Akane, and Sakura Kaede's abdomen.  


    There was no sting, but the impact was enough to make the insides spin around.  


    "The beauty pageant is over, you guys get some sleep."  


    As consciousness gradually faded, all I heard was Masumi shouting, "Uh... the winner is the 

student council president~~!"  


    "Wow!"  


    I jumped up suddenly. I was sleeping on white sheets, with a low ceiling above my head.  


    It wasn't the stage of the girls' gymnasium, but the locker room.  


    "Are you okay~?"  


    Sitting next to me was Kondou Mikoto, who seemed to have been there the whole time 

and looked very sleepy.  


    "I was so worried you were unconscious."  


    "Oh, I guess it's okay... Oooooooo!"  


    I was just worrying about my body when I realized I'd turned back into a man.  


    "What's wrong?"  


    "No, that guy... it's a guy..."  


    "Did you get shot in the head? Aren't you a man?"  


    "That being said..."  


    Luckily, it's just me and Mikoto here. We don't have any spare clothes or luggage, so I must 

have been brought here. I'm not wearing a maid outfit, but a boys' uniform. Who put it on 

me?  


    "Hey... did you carry me here?"  


    "No, it was the student council president. She said you collapsed in the audience at the 

beauty pageant? She said it was so hot in there that you passed out."  


    Oooooooo, did Shizuku change my clothes for me? Was my naked body seen?  


    I tried to get out of bed, but I didn't feel dizzy.  


    "Put on your shoes."  


    "Who won the beauty pageant?"  


    "The student council president,"  


    Mikoto said.  


    "She really stood out. I think she got 456 votes. After all, she was the most handsome in 

that performance, and she took control of the situation immediately. Although Sakura 

Kaede's performance was also very good."  


    In short, Shizuku's presence is overwhelming, right? Well, if she is so beautiful and still 

does that, it is true.  


    "Everyone's performance was very realistic. My palms are sweating. Natsuru did a good 

job too."  


    Thank you very much, I'll just take it as a compliment.  


    The door to the dressing room opened, and the person who was the topic of the 

conversation came in.  


    "Awake?"  


    Thanks to you.  


    Mikoto bowed her head slightly and said,  


    "I'm so sorry, Mikoto -kun, I just gave him to you like that."  


    "No problem."  


    "There are snacks prepared in the student union office over there, please enjoy them."  


    "Okay, then I'll be happy to help you."  


    Mikoto went there excitedly.  


    "...It's a pity not to win."  


    Shizuku sat down on the bed.  


    "It's nothing to me."  


    "You performed very well too."  


    "Because my partner was too irritable. By the way, where is that guy?"  


    "In the infirmary, she's not injured, and Kaede is fine too."  


    "You're really capable of targeting your friends."  


    "I'm just using the best method."  


    Maybe that's the case, but it's more than that.  


    Shizuku said she suspected Sakura Kaede had something to do with the mediator, and 

Akane also shouted, "What does she know?" It would be too nice of her to still believe that 

nothing is true.  


    Perhaps the situation has changed somewhere.  


    "...By the way, you mentioned something about the dirty dolls, right? And what would 

happen during the beauty pageant."  


    "Yeah, that's right."  


    "Did anything happen?"  


    "Nothing special at the moment. Kaede, who distributed them, was very happy."  


    "Does that mean Sakura Kaede has nothing to do with it?"  


    "Do you really think so?"  


    Her eyes seemed to see through me. Sorry, I don't think so.  


    "That's it. It just happened to be very quiet today."  


    Quiet... It reminded me of what happened on the stage.  


    "The storm is enough, right?"  


    "But you should still thank me. I was the one who finally controlled the situation."  


    "Yes, yes, I know, I know."  


    "Not enough."  


    Huh? What did you say?  


    "I owe you so much, I have to ask you to pay me back at least a little bit first."  


    "What do you mean by owing you..."  


    Suddenly, the tie of my school uniform was grabbed.  


    And it was pulled over, and in an instant, Shizuku's face appeared in front of me.  

[[File:23773.jpg|thumb]]
    I couldn't say a word, my mouth was blocked by Shizuku's lips.  


    "...Let's leave it at that for now."  


    Their lips parted, and I couldn't move.  


    "These are interest, we'll talk about the rest later."  


    "What...what..."  


    Shizuku walked towards the door as if nothing had happened. She wanted to go out, but I 

couldn't catch up with her now. My whole body was numb.  


    "By the way, it's best not to tell Akane -san about this."  


    "...Why?"  


    Shizuku said lightly after finally making a sound.  


    "Do you want to be killed?"  


    The door closed with a bang and she went out.  


    I was left alone in the locker room. I could still vaguely feel Shizuku's touch on my lips.  


    That... this is my first time.  


    Mikoto drank juice in big gulps. She had been wandering around various places since 

morning and her body needed water.  


    After drinking three glasses of grapefruit juice, she finally felt better.  


    "Huh..."  


    Her throat was satisfied, but her heart was a little tangled.  


    (...Why the president?)  


    After the beauty pageant, the president handed her the upside -down Natsuru. Although 

she helped carry it to the locker room, I still felt that he didn't faint. I've seen symptoms of 

fainting in deserts and rainforests, but this is not the case.  


    Did something happen to make him lose consciousness? There's something sinister about 

this.  


    "Hmm..."  


    Someone tapped me on the shoulder while I was thinking.  


    "Mikoto~~"  


    It was Masumi, holding a glass of juice.  


    "Ah, Masumi, you've worked hard."  


    "Yeah~ How was my hosting?"  


    "Not bad, although Fujiko Fujio's was a bit awkward."  


    "Did~?"  


    She chuckled, looking drunk even though she wasn't drinking.  


    "By the way~ Mikoto caught Sakura Kaede's bouquet, didn't she?"  


    "This one?"  


    She showed Masumi the paper bag in her hand.  


    "It was just an accident, it just fell down."  


    "Accident is what matters, you'll definitely be happy!"  


    "It's too early to talk about getting married."  


    She smiled wryly and opened the paper bag. Inside was the bouquet that Sakura Kaede 

had thrown. As a girl, I couldn't just throw this away.  


    "...Huh?"  


    I hadn't noticed before, but there seemed to be something hidden inside the plastic 

flowers. I reached in.  


    "What is it..."  


    Mikoto took out the thing. It was a doll.  


    "...Dirty Doll."  


    Kaede also threw out Dirty Doll's new creation, the Suffocating Dog.  


    Masumi said curiously,  


    "Hey~ Is this what Sakura Kaede likes?"  


    "It seems so. I always feel it's strange... huh?"  


    Mikoto put her ear close to the Suffocating Dog.  


    "What's wrong?"  


    "...Didn't you hear it?"  


    "What~"  


    "This thing seems to be talking."  


    Masumi laughed.  


    "How is it possible~ How can a doll talk?"  


    Mikoto stared at the Suffocating Dog intently, nothing unusual.  


    "That's... impossible."  


    She put the doll back into the paper bag.  

==Translator's Notes==
This chapter was translated from the Chinese translation of the original Japanese text.
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