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Kämpfer:Volume 8.5 Chapter 1
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Volume 8.5 Short Stories Chapter 1 Where do you all want to go for summer vacation? The first thing that comes to mind is the mountains, the seaside, or perhaps a trip back home with family. Rich people might dream of traveling abroad, while those without might as well stay home and sle ep in. I, Natsuru Senou, didn't follow any of these paths. Instead, I joined a group for a day of overnight fun at a theme park, complete with a hot spring bath. As usual, I got into all sorts of trouble there. The hot springs were a mess, a mess I couldn't quite describe as war or revolution. It seems I'm favored by disaster. I once heard that disaster is a beautiful goddess. Seriously, being favored by a man is such a headache. There's a reason for my favor, but it's simply because I'm a "Kämpfer," someone who exists to fight. Since I exist to fight, I'm bound to have enemies. However, the recent constant fighting has made me numb in many ways, especially since becoming a Kämpfer means transforming into a woman. This has made me even more insensitive and numb to gender -related issues, which is really a problem. Having weathered all the trouble at the theme park, and endured a trip that should have been relaxing but was ultimately exhausting, I decided to simply follow the noble dictum of "staying home won't cause any trouble" and spend my summer vacation lazi ng around at home. While at the theme park, my childhood friend Kondou Mikoto suggested "going to school to help the student council," but no one would actually go. Eventually, things would come to a point where I couldn't decide whether to go or not, but at least not to day. Avoiding trouble as much as possible is a basic principle for high school students. I'm not the type to wake up bright and clear in the morning. Since night is for sleep, the morning, as a continuation of night, should also be for sleep. Unfortunately, everyone in the world has been misled by the myth that we should wake up the moment the sun comes. This summer schedule thing is clearly a conspiracy to subvert Japan. Thanks to it, I've been waking up early lately. This can't go on. Being bound by schedules is truly a bad habit for Japanese people. I glanced at the clock beside my pillow. 6:45 AM. Too early. In my opinion, it was ridiculously early. But that was the only time I had to go back to sleep. I stood up and glanced at the Seppuku Tiger on the table. I couldn't tell if it was still asleep or awake, but it wasn't moving. Well, it was just a doll. I lingered downstairs. I live alone in this two -story house. Of course, I didn't build it. My father bought it with a 30 -year loan. Now he and my mother are working out of town. It seems like a waste to not live in a house I bought all day. But since w orking out of town seems to earn a higher salary, maybe it's not so bad. After washing my face, it was time for breakfast. Okay, what should I buy to stock up? I didn't want to buy bread. I remember throwing away the bread I bought two months ago because it was moldy. After all, it's the rainy season, so it shouldn't have gotten moldy in such a short time. It's all wheat flour, yet it still won't hold up. That leaves curry as the only option. I have so much curry at home I'd be sick of it, honestly, I'm practically fed up with it. Thinking of how Mikoto seems to make curry every day, I'm completely Indian. There seems to be a difference in taste between Indian and Japanese curry… who knows. I pulled the slightly frozen curry out of the fridge and microwaved it a few times to thaw it. Since I had no rice, I just ate it with meatballs (some kind of food that combines with curry to become a carafe, imagine it). Just as I was digging my spoon into my plate, there was a commotion at the door. "Natsuru, are you there —!" Regardless of whether anyone was there, the door flew open before I could even reply. "Yeah, I'm here!" Mikoto appeared. I'd locked the door properly, but this guy had just unlocked it without giving her the key. Even the vault door of the Bank of Japan could be pried open with ease by her. She swaggered calmly through the doorway into the living room. "Oh, it's so hot out here." I know it's hot today! She was kind of thinking about me, who was still insisting on eating curry in this weather. Mikoto stared at me, still eating curry. "Oh, you're having breakfast?" "Yes, I am. What are you doing here for?" "I see. If you haven't eaten yet, I was just about to make some." "No, no, no, you can only make curry anyway." "That's right. Natsuru, don't you like curry?" "Who the hell would eat that much!" While I do love curry, anyone would be unbearable to eat it all day long. However, I've long since transcended simple intolerance and am well on my way to achieving the state of unity between man and curry —a person who has already grasped the Dao of cu rry. I shoved a mouthful of curry balls into my mouth. "Mikoto, have you had breakfast yet?" "Yes, I did. After all, I woke up at 5 AM." "Hey, that's way too early." "That's not even early. The poisonous insects in the jungle are already active." Why does she have to live on a jungle schedule? This girl has been traveling around the world since she was a child, and thanks to that, I can't imagine her living like a normal high school student. 5 AM is the time for those who are active in fanatical clubs or those who get up early to run maratho ns. Even though I haven't said anything, Mikoto sits down in the chair in front of me, as if this is her home. "Hurry up and eat." "What are you giving orders?!" "I have a duty to take care of Natsuru's daily life." "Who told you that?" "That's what childhood sweethearts do." I often wonder why this girl and I are childhood sweethearts. I can't imagine how anything good can come from being with such a grenade -like woman. Is it just curry? Being stared at while eating breakfast is always uncomfortable, so I unconsciously speeded up my curry balls. Mikoto, on the other hand, seemed to find this amusing. Hey, am I some rare animal? ! "Hey, Natsuru. You said you had a date with the president before, didn't you?" "Everyone said it's over," I replied quickly. " Of course we did." "We just went to the aquarium together." "That's what the world calls a date." The president mentioned here is Shizuku Sangou, the student council president of the school I attend, Seitetsu Academy. She's a model -like beauty, but she and I have always had different personalities. Shizuku and I went to an aquarium together before, but that was supposedly a date, and Mikoto kept blaming me for it. However, since one of the parties involved has been adamantly denying it, the dating rumors don't seem to hold water. "So," Mikoto continued, "since you went on a date with the president, you should go on a date with me, too." What kind of nonsense is this woman talking about? I'm starting to think there's something wrong with her head, and if she doesn't call a doctor soon, something serious could happen. But Mikoto's expression seemed serious. "Why do I have to go on a date with you?" "I've already given you the reasons. Besides, didn't you also go on a secret trip with Akane? So I'm the only one left." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "It doesn't matter if you don't understand. Go on a date with me, it's settled!" What a forced decision! What fascist country do you think you're in? Invading someone else's house early in the morning to indoctrinate them into dating. What kind of stalker are you? You seem serious, but don't try to confuse people. "Are you going?" "School?" "A date!" "I have things to do there too. Kaede Sakura is helping with the student council, so maybe you'll run into her if you go." " Kaede Sakura went to school. That's not what I meant. We're going together." "Why?" " You said it was a date." " That's not what I meant." I put down my spoon. The curry balls felt a little hot. Maybe they were overheated. "Why me?" "Because it's you." "I'm not going. Even if it wasn't me, I could have invited Higashida." Speaking of classmate Higashida, he knew Mikoto well, but not because they were childhood friends or anything like that, but simply because he was a top -notch bishoujo researcher. "No. I've already decided on Natsuru." "How did you decide?" "Because..." Mikoto suddenly became timid, as if saying, "Because I like..." Speaking of hoe (the kanji for "like" and "hoe" are homophones, both pronounced suki, and judging by the protagonist's past behavior, it's clear this is intentional...), what? You want to farm? "Anyway," Mikoto suddenly shouted, nearly choking on water, "it's just a date, get it?!" "Shut up! When?" " Now." "Now?!" I was shocked. Not even today, but now! I'd always thought she was impatient, and this was way too much. "I can't stand you. I have my own plans, too." "What plans could a mere Natsuru have? You're just sleeping in or watching a taped soccer match anyway." How did you know that? Actually, I was thinking about going to the J. League game, but there weren't any games today. "Why are you in such a hurry?" "There's no time to lose, that's what I'm talking about." "I have no idea what you're talking about. You're coming to my house so early in the morning to do something..." "It's decided." I haven't even finished my sentence, and this guy's mind is full of set plans! "The date starts now, get ready." "I haven't even finished my meal yet, please." "I'll be done soon anyway." Actually, that's pretty much it. My plate is almost empty, with only a bite left. "I'll decide the date location, so get out the door." She spoke like someone planning to go tomb raiding. "Where are you going so early in the morning?" "Isn't it obvious?" Mikoto said, "For curry." At that moment, I was certain of one thing: this guy was clearly mentally ill. I finished my curry, but what on earth was I supposed to do this morning? The shops weren't even open yet. I complained, and Mikoto immediately gave me a look that said, "You're such an idiot!" "Who said anything about staying nearby?" "Then what are we supposed to do?" "Take the train. There's a place in Gunma Prefecture that serves delicious curry." "Why go all the way to Gunma?!" No matter how delicious something is, there's no need to travel so far. That's ridiculous. While gourmets sometimes venture to remote areas in pursuit of delicious food, and B -class gourmets will trek across mountains and rivers for ramen, I'm just an ordinary high school student. I'm not the type to blog about my foodie adventures. While Mikoto should be like that, judging by her sheer drive, it's hard to disagree. The decision to trek all the way to Gunma for curry must have been a sudden brainwave. I was forcibly dragged into my suitcase and then, with Mikoto pulling me onto the train, completely disregarding my will, I nearly screamed for help from the police at the train station. Most of the people on the train were families going out, and they looked quite happy. However, there were probably no one else out just to eat some delicious curry. Mikoto, sitting next to me, was excited, as if she were about to go tomb raiding. "Well, it's been a while since I've been on a date with Natsuru." "Not for a long time, but never?" "Yes, when we were kids. We used to go play by the river together." "Well, we were just passing by." (Sigh...) "A date, huh? We played there for quite a while." [url=<nowiki>http://tu.6.cn/pic/show</nowiki> -new/id/5083311][/url] "It clearly says 'No Trespassing,' and you still dragged me there? I'm not like someone trying to commit suicide by swimming with Styrofoam. If you're not careful, you could get swept away by the current and into Tokyo Bay." "In the end, nothing happened, so what's the big deal?" "I almost died there!" Mikoto made a bitter face. "Don't make such a noise. Look, everyone's laughing at us." "It's obviously your fault..." Indeed, everyone on the train was gradually looking at us, but their eyes were more like a faint smile than a look of confusion. Somehow, Mikoto also became happy. "Look, look, that family over there is mistaking our argument for a couple's quarrel." "How did you know that? Are you radio sensitive? Just your mishearing ears." " I'm a bit of a mind reader, though." This girl is quite resilient in a way. I'm afraid no matter how high Japan's unemployment rate climbs, she won't be the one to suffer. "Oh no, we must be considered a couple." Of course. If a couple on the train are arguing over trivial matters, they're definitely a couple. I understand that. It seems Mikoto is quite pleased. Hey, aren't you bothered at all? I'm just annoyed. "Um, you and the president went on a date, didn't you?" "That's the same thing again. I really want to forget it." "Then just forget it. Um, what did you do back then?" "Don't you think what you just said contradicts me?" "Who cares? As for the president, I really did make you a bento (just referring to food, no deep meaning...) right?" "Yes." Mikoto's body stiffened. Did something suddenly happen to you? "...What kind of bento?" "A very ordinary one." Although I have no idea what qualifies as an ordinary bento, it didn't seem special. "Could it be... curry?" "Curry! Please don't bring this up." "Was it delicious?" "Yeah, not bad." "...better than my curry?" "It can't even compare to curry!" How on earth did she even get to the point of comparing it to curry? At best, it was just something like "both sides were delicious" and "it was just average." (Sigh, what a tragedy...) "Great! If she can make curry, I'll be completely helpless." "What are you guys competing for?" "The president made curry udon before, and I thought she was pretty good at it, too." "But I don't see why she isn't." Shizuku must be good at everything, and cooking is probably the same. She's probably a master at Japanese, Chinese, and Western cuisine. She could even make something like curry while dozing off. "But isn't a woman who can't do anything cuter than a woman who can do everything?" "You keep saying weird things, you." "I'm obviously not as versatile as the president. So, I think I'm cuter." "You should go to the emergency room and get admitted. Aren't you also super versatile?" This person's survival skills are extraordinary, a completely different concept from Shizuku's. It's the sheer manifestation of versatility. As for whether I'm a complete omnipotent person, I'm far behind. "Are men more captivated by being a little clumsy?" "Who knows?" That was all I could say. Mikoto glanced at me, pouting, "...you, you even kissed the president, didn't you?" "Why do you insist on making me recall that nightmare?" "Did it really make you so excited?" "I said it was a nightmare, didn't I? It was definitely rape." After all, I mentioned the word "rape" on the train, so I lowered my voice considerably. "It's so unfortunate that the president jumped the gun." "You thought we were in a 100 -meter race?" "No, it's not. Why do I have to worry so much about you, a fool?" Don't call someone a fool in front of them. According to elementary school logic, those who call others fools are usually the fools themselves. "Kiss?... oooo~~" "Don't scream, please." "It seems like I have to come up with a strategy." Mikoto had a serious expression on her face, like the chief strategist of a siege army. While doing these irrelevant things, the train quietly arrived in Gunma Prefecture. Because it was an ordinary tram, it was already past noon when it slowly arrived at the destination. Just as Mikoto had planned... It shouldn't be, after all, she is th e kind of person who would do something messy on a whim. I got off the train at this not -so-big station. Maybe because it's a small town, the air feels very different from Tokyo. "Is there really a curry shop in a place like this?" "In this day and age, there are curry shops everywhere." Mikoto said to me with a contemptuous attitude. "That's not what I meant. I was talking about a delicious curry shop." "Just trust me." "Just in case, I'd like to ask where you heard this information?" "It's a secret. There was a delicious curry shop here 15 years ago." "...Does it still exist?" "Are you underestimating that information from 15 years ago?" "After all, it came from you!" This person is completely unbearable. What's in her head? She actually believes in information from 15 years ago. Why did she have to travel all the way to Gunma, paying for the transportation herself? Since Mikoto didn't seem distressed at all, perhaps the information was quite reliable. "Natsuru, go that way, that way." She pointed north. There's only a barren mountain there. "Is there anything there?" "It seems so. My sixth sense tells me so." "Please, that's not an excuse." "Based on the information from 15 years ago, it seems to be over there too." Although she said that, since we had no other reference, we both headed in that direction. Mikoto looked genuinely happy. This girl loves to visit places she's never been before; otherwise, she wouldn't be so enthusiastic about traveling abroad. But the idea that I could always reach my destination just by running around aimlessly, and even bring back a ton of local souvenirs, was a bit of a bummer. We were walking down a street that resembled a main street, dotted with small shops catering to tourists. It didn't seem particularly busy, probably because it was practically on the outskirts of town. "Hey, Natsuru, we feel like we're getting closer. I can smell curry." I couldn't smell a single thing. Do you have a dog's nose? "If there's curry, where's it coming from?" "There." The end of the road. You're kidding me, right? "There, there, that shop." Mikoto grabbed my wrist and dragged me over. I didn't bother resisting, as it was too much trouble. Only at times like these do I yield; it can ward off evil, after all. Finally, we stopped in front of a shop with a purple curtain. "That's it, the place with the best curry." "That," I said, shaking off Mikoto's still -grabbing hand. "What? Don't you trust my wild animal instincts?" "This is just a Japanese confectionery shop!" I couldn't help but shout. "Izumiya" was written on the curtain, and the sign on the glass door read "Special Mizu Yokan." No matter how you looked at it, it was just a Japanese confectionery shop. "There are tables and chairs inside, places to sit and eat." "Come on, those are for Japanese confectionery, right?" "There's no place in the world that can't be used for curry. This is a good shop, that's all." "That's not your decision, okay?" But Mikoto ignored my advice and pushed open the glass door. "Manager, come out." "Are you challenging me?!" She stalked into the shop with such arrogance that she wouldn't be outdone even if she were suddenly attacked. The shop had a glass counter, displaying a dazzling array of Japanese sweets. There were posters hanging on the wall, and tea sets were laid out. There wasn't even a single word for curry in the entire place. "Welcome... Oh." "Uh!" It wasn't me who uttered the word, but Mikoto. I hadn't expected the person emerging from the shop to be my classmate, Masumi Nishino. She's the accounting committee member for Class 4, Grade 2, Girls' Division, more commonly known as the accountant. Her dark side is that once money is involved, she becomes a completely different person, a stickler for control, like a tax collector wi th ledgers tucked away on both sides. Class 4, Grade 2, Girls' Division is where the girl Natsuru is, but why would she be in a place like this? Masumi Nishino bowed her head solemnly. "This is Senou -san from the Men's Division. Thank you so much for visiting us." I'd worked part -time as a maid before, and I'd met her as a man, so running into her now wasn't a surprise. But, running into her even though I wasn't there specifically to visit, what kind of coincidence was this?! "Why... are you here?" "This is my relative's house. I came here to visit and did some part -time work." I had no idea. But how could we actually run into each other in a place like this? The odds were incredibly slim. "This is...Kondou -san." "Yes, but..." I was still wondering how she knew, and then I asked Mikoto, and she replied, "There's probably no female student who doesn't know me." This girl's network is quite extensive. "I'm here looking for something delicious," Mikoto said, and it was true. "After hearing about this place's signature dish... umm." I quickly covered the silly woman's mouth. "Don't say anything unnecessary. This looks like a Japanese confectionery shop." "What are you doing? Are you so embarrassed when someone you know is here?" We came here for curry —how could I say something so embarrassing? While Masumi Nishino wasn't the type to burst out laughing at this, it still felt like she was telling others something irrelevant, or like she was forcing a sale, and either way, it wou ld only lead to trouble. Masumi Nishino tilted her head slightly. "Is this shop's signature item?" "Well, if you don't have it, forget it." Before I could even ask what they sold, Mikoto had already concluded it was out of stock. "Mikoto, she's got a bit of a fever. She's been having some issues before, so she's going to the hospital. But it's okay if you don't come to see her... It hurts!" Mikoto bit my hand hard. "Are you a snake? " "Stop talking nonsense." She glared at me as she shook my hand away. Then she asked Masumi Nishino, "Is there a signboard? Curry?" She finally asked. Are you an idiot? But Masumi Nishino immediately nodded. "You know, there is. Curry rice." "Uh." This time it was my turn to utter that word. So Mikoto smugly put on a triumphant expression. "See, see, my intelligence and my superhuman intuition were spot on." My heart suddenly overflowed with frustration, unable to even speak. Mikoto and I were then assigned to a table toward the back of the store. There was no one else there, but whether this place was popular or not was unclear. "Generally speaking, it's quite popular," Masumi Nishino said. "The Japanese confectionery is quite good, and they have some signature dishes." "The signature dish, is that curry?" "Yes." It would be great if it wasn't, I think, but it seems you never know. Masumi Nishino didn't even bother to listen to the menu and ran inside. Mikoto looked eagerly anticipating the curry; she had indeed guessed it would be there. I was visibly annoyed, having barely digested the curry from breakfast. "Natsuru, cheer up! You finally come here to eat their signature curry." "I have curry for breakfast, too." "Who knows what you're going to have for breakfast?" "You saw it all! You made all that!" "Why are you saying it's my fault?" "It was your fault in the first place!" My fury was completely ignored by this person. It was like pouring water on a frog's head, or maybe it was a strange neurological condition that allowed me to remain calm. Somehow, I didn't even have the energy to get angry. If a meteorite suddenly fell right now, it might damage the store. I wouldn't end up in trouble, but if that ever came to that, I'd just have to bear it. (The wording is strange, but it's the original text, meaning that even if a meteorite suddenly fell, I wouldn't get too excited. More simply, the protagonist is in a state of depression.) The sound of frying could be heard from inside the shop. A moment later, the aroma of curry wafted from inside. Mikoto savored the aroma, snorting. "This spice is beautifully prepared." "Didn't you say everything stays the same once it's in your stomach?" "It's different before it even enters your stomach." When it comes to sophistry, this person is practically superb. Masumi Nishino hasn't even shown up yet. It seems curry takes a long time to make, as they say the special features on the signboard are all like this. The glass door opened; it looked like another customer had arrived. As expected, every rumor has its source. "Oh, Senou -san." "Ah, the male version of Natsuru!" I nearly jumped out of my chair. It turned out to be the class president and vice -president who entered the shop. They were both in the second year, fourth class of the women's department. The one with the glasses was the class president, and the one with a smaller cup size would fit perfectly was the vice -president. How did they even end up in Gunma Prefecture?! "Even Kondou -san is here. What a coincidence!" the class president was walking towards us. As expected, they all knew Mikoto. "Are you a two -person trip?" "No, no, we're here to try some curry." Is this curry so famous? Mikoto nodded exaggeratedly. "That's right, I absolutely must try this curry." "That's right," the class president agreed. "Rumor has it that this restaurant's curry rice is fantastic. I think anyone who loves curry should definitely try it." This intel was so detailed it made me realize the huge gap between me and the world of curry. "Class president, are you a curry fanatic like Mikoto?" "Huh? I'm not that passionate about curry." The class president and vice -president sat down at the table behind us. Then, Masumi Nishino appeared. "Oh, welcome back." "Yes, we're here," they replied. It seemed Masumi Nishino's visit to a relative's house was secondary to the reason for going out for fun. "You two are curry lovers too, right?" "No big deal." "Hurry up, I'm already hungry." It was a question of whether I liked curry or not. After another wait, the curry was finally served. But instead of having the rice and meatballs clearly separated like in Indian restaurants, they were mixed together, like in a station cafeteria. This way of arranging the food, sticking the spoon direc tly into the broth, felt very old -fashioned. "Oh, it looks delicious," Mikoto's eyes seemed to sparkle. I picked up the spoon and scooped up a spoonful of curry. No matter how hard I looked, I couldn't see anything special about it. The color and the texture were just what curry should be, without a single noticeable feature. Mikoto quickly took a bite. "...Delicious!" You're being overly excited. Masumi Nishino lowered her head. "Thank you for the compliment." "As expected of a poster boy! Oh, curry really has to come from a bakery." You're stupid. I wanted to see if it was that delicious, so I took a bite too. "..." It was just ordinary. No matter how carefully I savored it, it was just plain curry, indistinguishable from the curry I eat at home. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't incredibly delicious either. To be so surprised after eating this, you couldn't fake it without some acting. Even so, Mikoto continued to eat with big mouthfuls. "It's delicious, well -deserved of its reputation. Natsuru, I'll give you some too." "Uh..." "Wait," Mikoto showed a bitter expression, "even if you have a dull sense of taste, you should understand now." "Where...?" "It's completely different from the curry over there." Is, is that so? Behind me, the class president and vice -president were also saying, "The curry here is delicious anytime," and "I'm so happy." Am I the only one who can't taste it? "After all, this curry rice is famous as a hidden local specialty," Masumi Nishino explained. Are there always hidden specialties? I learned something new today. "It opened as a Japanese confectionery shop shortly after the war. As a supplement to its specialty Japanese confectionery, it later also started serving curry." "You still call it a specialty..." "Please listen to me quietly. The Japanese confectionery reviews are okay, but the curry is a favorite among amateurs. It seems that since then, this shop has become a hidden gem among curry lovers." "Then there's no need to run a Japanese confectionery shop anymore." "After all, there aren't many people here who love curry." Speaking of people who love curry, aren't there three other people here besides me? So, it seems Masumi Nishino wasn't lying. Even if she was bragging, it didn't bother me at all. The only person excited about this was Mikoto. Anyway, I did my best to finish the curry on my plate. While constantly eating curry made me feel a little stuffy, leaving any leftovers would be too embarrassing for others. "Speaking of which..." I heard the class president's voice from behind me. "Why are you two here?" "!" My heart tightened. This "two of us" must be referring to me and Mikoto. Okay, how can I get around this? "A date," Mikoto answered before I could say anything. Hey! "Hehe~~" A strange light flickered under the class president's glasses. "So Senou -san and Kondou -san from the boys' club are such close friends." "Ah, I really want to spread this rumor." The vice -president grinned lewdly. "In fact, when it comes to the male version of Natsuru, aren't they all in love at first sight with the female version?" "...That's impossible." It's true that everyone is spreading this rumor, but it's impossible to admit it. After all, the female version of Natsuru is me. "Also, according to the information I have," the class president gently pushed up her glasses, "there are rumors that the student council president has recently got a boyfriend." "Ah, this is the first time I've heard of this," said the vice -president. The class president showed a fearless smile, "Kaede Sakura has prepared to send a text message to her friends saying 'Shizuku Sangou has a boyfriend'. But it's unknown to whom this was sent..." "Eh, could this be..." The vice -president turned her eyes, which were aroused by strong curiosity, and stared at me. I was eating curry, but now it has become tasteless when I put it in my mouth. How come these guys even know such things? "Absolutely not!" I flatly denied it, regardless of the consequences. "How could someone as outstanding as the student council president date someone like me? She'd probably be after a brilliant university student or a high -performing employee at a for eign company." "Well, that's true," the class president said, seemingly unconcerned with my explanation. "It's entirely possible that someone like her would unexpectedly like vegetarianism. Perhaps Senou -san would be just what she wants..." "I'm a vegetarian?!" Anyway, I feigned anger and decided to avoid the topic at all costs. The class president has a close relationship with that idiotic leader, Higashida. If he acquiesced, the news would spread immediately to the men's division. Then I'd definitely be eliminated by assassins sent by the "Shizuku Sangou -sama Scolded Club," who dominate the men's division. I could personally plead with Higashida not to leak the information, but he certainly doesn't value friendship that much. If I ever found something to hold against Higashida, I'd definitely be happy to be a big mouth. Even if I had to use all my power to stop this topic, after all, my nickname is involved. "I already told you there's nothing going on between the president and me." "How can I believe you?" "There's no connection between the president and me, honestly." The vice -president tilted her head. "Hmm~~, but before that, the first -year students, Masumi Nishino, saw the male version of Natsuru and the president together." "...That must have been a joke by Masumi Nishino." Of course, that's what I remember. You're someone you can't underestimate. While I was desperately trying to come up with an excuse, Mikoto kept looking over here with a stern face. (Gathering energy for a super kill, Mikoto's Orochi version was all sunshine...) "...It's true, Natsuru and the president aren't dating, but..." Mikoto started. Oh, so you're here to help me? I've always treated her like a worthless childhood sweetheart, but now I see her anew. Long live childhood sweethearts! (All Hail Mikoto!! All Hail Mikoto!!) The class president turned away. "Then who is she dating?" Why are they still tangling with this topic?! "Of course, Natsuru has a girlfriend. But, this 'she' isn't the president." Mikoto looked determined, giving the impression that nothing good was going to happen. "...Who is that? Is it a female Natsuru?!" "What a shame." "Who is that?" "It's me," I snorted. It's not a shame! Speaking of which, what did you just say?! Mikoto's cheeks flushed slightly. I wasn't supposed to blush; my heart nearly gave out! <nowiki>(You should be more popular~~~~) </nowiki> [url=<nowiki>http://tu.6.cn/pic/show</nowiki> -new/id/5083324][/url] "Natsuru, you're dating my childhood sweetheart. You came all the way to Gunma just for a date." "Yo." The class president looked at me with such admiration that I was practically dying. How could you, Mikoto, say such things at this time and in this place! Even if you're trying to help me, this is too extreme. Is this a conspiracy to drive me into the abyss of despair? Childhood sweethearts, can be so cruel. Down with your childhood s weetheart! Banish me from this world to another dimension! (Sigh...) A world -class anti -childhood sweethearts disaster movie was already playing in my mental theater, but even in the real world, the Japanese confectionery shop was in turmoil. "Indeed, if they'd made the trek all the way to Gunma Prefecture just for curry, their relationship must be something special," Masumi Nishino said. But I felt like the curry was the reason I couldn't refute it. "The male version of Natsuru is really popular." "How could that be?" I denied it first. "But then, I do see you often chatting with Mikoto in the library." I was speechless. While that's true, where did you get all this information? "But if you're dating Kondou -san, Senou -san..." "Doesn't that make me sound like I'm cheating?" "Isn't that true?" Don't take that so seriously. Mikoto, as always, can't stop talking when she thinks something. But since she's Mikoto, she probably doesn't even have the concept of talking nonsense. Talking nonsense has become as natural as breathing. "Even with this kind of Natsuru, I still like it." I found the tone rather strange. "No matter how frivolous Natsuru may have been in the past, I can tolerate it. I think it's fine for Natsuru to remain the way it is now." Don't be shy and look at the floor. With such amazing acting skills, you must be pretending to be a messenger of God among the local indigenous tribes deep in the jungle. With such skills, you'd surely have entire villages bowing down to you, and local guides would be practically trouble -free from now on. How did I know all this? After all, it was Mikoto herself who boasted about it. As expected, the class president and the others had been fooled. Let me correct you, probably. "That's great." The class president clapped her hands in a mock manner. "It looks like there's still a lot of potential for Kondou -san and Senou -san's relationship. I understand. Let me assist you." "Assist with what?" I complained, but the conversation continued in a strange direction. "If you want to assist , then you should assist. Specifically, it means broadcasting it to the whole school in the studio so that all students will know, or distributing flyers everywhere so that you can't easily regret it later." "Hey!" This is too tragic, wouldn't it mean that my relationship with Mikoto has become real? The person I want to date is only Kaede Sakura from the beginning to the end, so don't trample on other people's innocence. However, the class president and others still turned a deaf ear to my protest. "Isn't this okay, Kondou?" "Yeah." Mikoto nodded and agreed without saying a word. "In that case, let's do it without further delay. However," Masumi Nishino took out the calculator she always carried with her and pressed a few buttons, "is it okay for us to charge this much as a publicity fee?" "Oh, this is too expensive. How can I fall for this fee." Mikoto stretched out her hand from the side. "That'll result in a deficit if we don't pay the agreed fee." "You've made the rare trip to Gunma just to try some curry. When I get back, I'll promote this curry." "Whatever happens to my relatives, it won't affect me in any way... So what do you think of the price?" "It can't be lowered any further. As a concession, I'll give you an ancient coin from Syria." "You're a real salesperson. That's it." Both parties seemed to have reached a consensus, but I was excluded. "Natsuru, I'm done." "I haven't said anything yet!" "We're officially responsible for promoting Senou -san and Kondou -san's relationship. You should be happy," the class president said. What should I be happy about? Why do I have to date Mikoto? Indeed, Mikoto is a very lovely girl. While she may not be a graceful beauty yet, it's only a matter of time. Within five years, she'll definitely be a stunning beauty. But that's completely different from dating. We were childhood sweethearts, but it didn't feel that way at all. Mikoto went abroad a long time ago, so even seeing each other was a rarity, yet we've always been close. Maybe it's because those childhood memories are too intense, but all I can think of are snakes, spiders, caterpillars, and the like. Why does she always want to throw them at my back? And what about Mikoto, the person at the center of this whole situation? She seems quite pleased. "Just play along," she whispers. "If the rumor about you and me getting together spreads like this, it'll be a good thing." "How could that be possible?!" "Wouldn't it dispel the rumor about you and the president?" "As for me, I'd rather it spread about me and Kaede Sakura." "Are you stupid? Rumors like that wouldn't spread even in a hundred years!" Regardless of the actual situation, just hearing that makes me angry. But maybe Mikoto really meant to dispel the rumor about the president and me dating. If that's the case, it's truly a rare thing. "Well, let's end the small talk here. I'm going to get back to work." Masumi Nishino said as she cleared the plates. What kind of job was this? "Actually, I want to promote this shop's curry more widely." "Isn't it good enough to have a reputation as a hidden specialty?" "Until now, it's been too secretive, so I want to promote it to a level where it's just a little secret. So, I want to take a poster that emphasizes this shop and its curry, so I'll have to trouble you two current models." "What?!" What are these? Posters. Are they trying to freeze the forced smiles of Mikoto and me with a camera? "In other words, I want to take a picture of Senou -san and Kondou -san's fake smiles with a camera." Masumi Nishino said basically the same thing I was thinking. " Why do you do this? Hire professional models." "Because there's no extra cost." "Then I'm working for nothing?" "It's not just you, Kondou -san too." "That just means more people are doing it for free." "Ah, let me correct that. This is included in the previous deal, so Kondou -san isn't just doing it for free." "I've asked you so many times, why are you doing this?" "For publicity." No, they didn't hear me at all. Whether it was Masumi Nishino, the class president, or the vice -president, they all knew the truth and were just playing dumb (is that a better translation?). The more I talked to them, the further I felt from the question I wanted to ask. This kind of confusing tactic is probably something you only use at a seminar. Mikoto, on the other hand, looked calm. "What's this person doing?" Could it be that it was you who came up with this bad idea? "Then please go outside," Masumi Nishino urged. "The photoshoot is about to start." Down with curry! Down with Japanese confectionery! Even if I felt such resentment, no one would blame me. With nothing else to do, I retreated to the bathroom to collect myself (just running off to pee...). When I returned, I saw Mikoto and the class president already gathered together, whispering something. "What are you guys up to?" Then we went outside. A short walk from the Japanese confectionery shop brought us to a poorly leveled hill. Places like this are everywhere; it was probably just a random one. Since this was a promotional event, Izumiya Bakery employees should have been there, but there weren't any of them. Only Masumi Nishino, the class president, and the vice - president were there. It seemed these three were plotting to use the promotional fees as a cover to claim the Japanese confectionery and make a killing. The class president was holding a camera, Masumi Nishino was carrying what looked like a soba noodle shop tote, and the vice -president was holding a banner that said "Go!" "What are you all doing? Do you think we're going to watch the Koshien games? " "Let's start now," Masumi Nishino instructed. Mikoto and I sat down on a rough bench, and they handed us the curry that had been placed in the tote. "When I give you the signal, please start eating happily together." "Curry again." "Of course the curry promotion is about curry. The theme of the poster is about a young couple who find their true love through curry." "No one would be moved by something like that these days." "It's just a Japanese confectionery shop, so that's fine." Could it be that accountants really dislike relatives? Anyway, we were each given a spoon. Still eating?! A B -class gourmet or a curry fanatic would have no problem eating as much curry as possible, but I'm just an ordinary high school student. Whether it's curry or ramen (Shizuku's sudden appearance, it s eems Shizuku's mental position is still quite effective...), eating it continuously would be unbearable. The constant urging of "eat quickly, eat quickly" made me give up, so I took a bite. Alas, the taste was still ordinary. Mikoto beside me was eating with big mouthfuls. Wasn't that what I just ate? Is your stomach a different dimension? "It's quite delicious," Mikoto said naturally. "So delicious I could eat more." I was almost exhausted. I was practically covered in curry (if you'll excuse me, a better translation is: What runs through my veins isn't blood, it's curry). The class president clicked the shutter of her camera. This photo will definitely be edited into a poster with a sunny, blue sky and white clouds. Even if it's finished, I won't be interested in seeing it. Vice -president, all those "smile, smile" and " look at my hand" gestures that have been hanging around for a while are completely useless. <nowiki> Phew~~~, finally finished. I've already eaten so much and been photographed so much, so </nowiki> that's enough. "Okay, another plate." Masumi Nishino brought out another full plate. "Hey, more!" "The photos might not be good, so it's common sense to take as many photos as possible just in case." Really? I'm not very familiar with photography, but I don't think I'm just making this up. The slightly cooled curry filled my vision. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like vomiting just looking at it. "Natsuru, please eat well. It's rude to say that." "How can you be so calm?" "You can eat as much curry as you want." "Even the biggest stomach has its limit. You're the only one who can keep eating like this?" "When you're dealing with smuggling organizations in the desert, you should eat as much as you can whenever you get a chance to eat. It's the same principle as that." The same principle, right? So where is the smuggling organization you're talking about? "Alright, alright, please eat quickly," the vice -president gave the order. What's going on with the three of you? You've got a division of labor. I fought the urge to vomit and took a mouthful of curry. Mikoto, on the other hand, looked so happy while eating. "Come on, Natsuru, smile a little more." "The photographers can't capture any good shots." Stop making irrelevant remarks. My stomach was almost full. This time, I summoned a last ounce of my willpower and finally finished this round of curry. "Okay, next one." Another round of curry! How many plates of curry are in that tote? Is that Doraemon's four-dimensional pocket? "I'm eating," Mikoto said, preparing to start spooning again. You're invincible. "Senou -san isn't eating?" The class president's words had completely worn away my will to argue. "My stomach starts churning just thinking about eating." "Please don't throw up, or it would be such a shame." I'm not here to compete in a competitive eating contest; anyone who can eat this much is already a monster. And, by the way, there's a giant monster sitting next to me. "There's another one," Shizuku said. Spare me! "What are you dawdling about? Hurry up and eat," Mikoto said to me, munching on curry. This person doesn't look like she's stuffed at all. Does your digestive system have special powers? "I told you, I really can't eat anymore." "Can't you eat such a small amount of curry? Eat it quickly." "Don't talk nonsense. Don't take me seriously." "Are you going to ruin such a good date like this?" "Aren't you the one who tortured me so hard that my face is all curry -colored?" Just because this person likes curry, I'm almost turning into Curry Man (a yellow curry version of Ultraman, based on a picture I found online). What can I do? The class president and the others have been watching us like this for a while. "...You're really close." "Yeah, it feels like they're really close." The class president and vice -president looked at each other and nodded, "Hmm~~." "Not really!" I immediately denied. "It's more like they're not close." "But, ordinary people wouldn't travel this far just for curry. As expected, Senou -san and Kondou -san have a very special relationship." "It seems they are indeed dating." "Business opportunity has flashed." Masumi Nishino was the last to speak. These three of them just started talking about some fantastical stuff; it's like a dog's mouth can't produce ivory. "Well," I said slowly, trying to clear up the misunderstanding, "it doesn't look like Mikoto and I are dating, do we?" "We do, " the class president said. Why did her tone become more and more certain? "I don't understand. What on earth could have led you to think that?" "Well, you've accepted everything you should have." "What is it?" "Company secrets. Anyway, dating Kondou -san is a good thing in itself. What's your complaint?" "Well..." I'm going to insist on being Kaede Sakura's boss from beginning to end, but please say it here. Even the girls in the girls' club have probably heard about my unwavering devotion to Kaede Sakura. "Then it's fine." "...Ah, is it because of the female version of Natsuru?" the vice -president suddenly interjected. "Come to think of it, the female version of Natsuru likes the male version, so is that why you're so hesitant?" This was the most impossible thing in the world. I'm in love with myself, what the hell? Even calling it self -absorption is a bit too much. (No, there's a precedent for this; see Finger X Milk Tea. Speaking of which, the male protagonist in that scene would surely envy the extent of your transformation.) The class president also put on a look of sudden realization. "That girl is indeed a beauty, and she'd be a formidable opponent for Kondou -san." "I don't mind," Mikoto replied. Of course. "If she's a female version of Natsuru, she'd be easy to win over." "Hehe, full of confidence." "Well, that's about it... Speaking of which," Mikoto gave a light cough. Suddenly, the class president put down the camera. "Wait a minute, we're leaving for a while." "Why?" Everything happened so suddenly that I didn't realize what was happening. The vice - president lowered the flag, and Masumi Nishino closed the briefcase. "Let's go over there and chat." "Huh? What do you mean..." "That's it." The three of them left with alacrity. Mikoto and I were now alone. Mikoto was still eating her curry, and I remained motionless, spoon in hand. "Hurry up and eat." "It's so noisy. It's all curry all day long. I'm going to be immortalized." I glanced behind me, and the class president and the others gradually receded. "Why are they over there?" "Who cares about them? Turn your head around." My head was turned back to its original position, and I left them alone. A gentle breeze blew by. Without any wind, I'd definitely be scorched to death, but some wind was just right. "If you don't eat, the curry will be sad." "I see... well, it's been nothing but curry lately." But how long have we been talking about curry today? The Curry God would definitely be complaining about me. Mikoto had already finished her curry again. You're too fast. "...Do you like curry?" "I do, but I'm tired of it now. Speaking of which, why do you keep trying to sell me curry, Mikoto?" "Because I'm not very good at cooking. Curry and ramen are my only strengths." "Why are you saying something so strange?" "Because... Shizuku is a master." "After all, that woman is great at everything." Such a perfect superhero shouldn't be confined to Seitetsu Academy. She should be contributing to the nation's development. Maybe parachuting her into conflict zones to quell wars. That would alleviate a lot of my worries. "So... I'm not in a particularly favorable position, so if I can at least get Natsuru to like curry, wouldn't that at least close the gap in my cooking skills?" Mikoto muttered. She's not usually like this. She's really a woman who doesn't get straight to the point. "What's the difference, height?" (You're such a big shot...) "Idiot. The difference between me and Shizuku." Mikoto stared at me with a startlingly serious look, and I backed off a little, still looking silly as I bit my spoon. "What's the difference...?" "Yes. Shizuku is great at everything, and she's beautiful, like a model. Compared to her, I'm just your childhood sweetheart. What should I do?" (You should definitely be more confident. Childhood sweethearts are a must, Last -Arc level) "How should I know?" Stop saying these nonsense things. What are you asking me to do? Mikoto scooted closer. "At least, if I hadn't used curry as an excuse to ask you out, you'd definitely be snatched away by Shizuku." "Even if you said that..." "So," Mikoto was already close, "Kiss me." "...Huh?" "Oh, don't make me say it so many times. Kiss me." Mikoto's face flushed slightly. It's too hot... isn't it? (I'm hot...) I don't know what expression I'm going through right now, but the sudden "kiss me" has sent my mind into a tizzy. At least this much is true. My eyes wandered, but I put down the spoon I was still biting. "Ah,...you, this...?" "That's it...hurry up." "You said hurry up...you childhood sweethearts, can you, do this?" "That's really frustrating." Mikoto's lips moved closer. At that moment, I gently touched hers. "...Gu." (That's the sound of swallowing saliva —I'll explain the onomatopoeia in case anyone doesn't understand.) After a few seconds, as if time stood still, Mikoto left me, and I saw a mischievous expression on her face. "It smells like curry." "What are you talking about...?" Just as I was about to say, "You just kissed me," I heard the sound of a shutter. I hurriedly turned my head and found the class president very close, holding a camera. Immediately, the vice -president and Masumi Nishino behind the camera grinned like children who had just caught on. The vice -president spoke for the three of them, saying, "You saw it all." "Um, hey!" "It took a perfect picture, too," the class president said. "This will be crucial evidence. We can easily broadcast Senou -san and Kondou -san's relationship to the whole school." "Wait, wait!" This was terrible in many ways. Seitetsu Academy had very strict restrictions on relationships between men and women. If a boy's student and a girl's student started dating, they would face immense pressure in the future. Besides, if Higashida and the others find out, it'll only be a matter of time before the whole thing gets exposed to the student council. "What's the big deal?" Mikoto replied calmly, "If you and I actually start dating, Natsuru." "What's the big deal? We're childhood sweethearts, huh?!" (Childhood sweethearts tear up) "We started dating after we said it." Why is this person so calm, even though they were secretly photographed? The class president and the others in front of me were checking the photos they'd taken with their cameras. A closer look revealed they were digital. Contrary to my expectations, the photos seemed to be very good. "The only thing left is to make them into posters." "Don't do that!" "Well, even if we don't make them into posters this time, we have the photo data. Please be careful about future events." "Are you threatening me?" "Why are you saying it so harshly? It's better to say it's a favor." Who would ask someone for something like that? This was more like intimidation than a threat. Mikoto waved gently at the trio. "I want a copy of the data, too." "Okay, I'll send it to you later," the class president replied. Masumi Nishino took the remaining curry plates from Mikoto and me. "Then we'll take our leave now, since it's closing time." "Natsuru, see you at school." While I was still stunned by what had just happened, the three of them had already walked down the hill. I was stunned for perhaps dozens of seconds before I finally came to my senses. "We've been seen," I repeated Mikoto's words. "Hey, what are you still doing there, so leisurely..." "What can I do? We've been seen." She was completely unfazed. It was really eye -opening to see how calm she could be. (The readers are also amazed...) I was about to complain a little more when I suddenly realized, "...Um, did you know this would be filmed?" "Why do you say that?" "Because you acted so nonchalant the whole time. When I came back from the bathroom, you were all chatting together. So you and the class president and the others must have conspired to make this happen..." "Natsuru, you're very smart," Mikoto exclaimed. This woman, she really did plan this. She must be quite bold and careful. "Because Natsuru didn't care about me at all, and even went and kissed Shizuku." "I already said that was rape..." "Then I could kiss you too." "That's not good." "That was my first kiss." I was speechless. Although my first kiss had been taken by Shizuku, it really did have a different meaning when a girl said it. "Um... well..." " Again." Before I could even finish the words, "What are you doing?", Mikoto leaned in and blocked my mouth. "...Hmm, hmm." "...Hehe." This time, she pulled away slowly. "In that case, am I a little closer to Shizuku?" Somehow, Mikoto's expression looked adorable at that moment. "Who knows?" I could only turn my head away, brushing the subject off. ==Translator's Notes== This chapter was translated from the Chinese translation of the original Japanese text. <br /> <references responsive="0" /> <br /> {| class="wikitable" style="float:left; margin:0; text-align:center; border:none;" |+ |- | [[Kämpfer:Volume 8 Afterword|← Back to Volume 8 Afterword]] | [[Kämpfer|Return to Main Page]] | [[Kämpfer:Volume 8.5 Chapter 2|Forward to 8 Chapter 2 →]] |}
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