Editing Kara no Kyoukai:Chapter05 06

'''/6 Spiral Paradox'''<br>

One night has passed, and it is now noon on the eighth of November.<br>

The cloudy sky is no different from yesterday, so the lightless office was dark like an abandoned ruin.<br>

This office is too big for just two people, me and Touko-san, to use. There are enough desks for ten people, and there's a sofa to receive clients too. With a floor of concrete as bare as it was on the day it was poured, and walls that haven't even been papered over, it's not much, but nevertheless, if the numbers were met it would look like a proper workplace.<br>

But, at this moment, there are only three people here including me.<br>

Touko-san cannot be seen at the chief's desk beside the window. The medicine she took yesterday must have been effective, because as soon as she woke to find the cold had gone she went out somewhere.<br>

Inside this office without a director, I was ordering materials with which to decorate the hall where the art exhibition would be starting next month while comparing prices and doing other such things. While holding Touko-san's specifications in one hand, I was doing this in order to obtain the materials needed for her craft at low prices. That person is the type to say, 'It's all right as long as I make it', so she doesn't put in this kind of annoying and bothersome effort. The result is that as her employee, I can't help but do it for her.<br>

Peering at the list of material suppliers, I ring up this place for that and negotiate, then I move onto yet another shop. Apart from me, who can't decide whether I'm busy or just dedicated, there are two other people here.<br>

One is the kimono girl sitting blankly on the guest sofa. Needless to say, it's Ryougi Shiki, and while it's not as if she is doing anything, she is sitting there in a polite manner.<br>

The other person is sitting facing me at the desk furthest away from my own, doing... something. A schoolgirl in a black uniform. The girl with the long hair which is the polar opposite of Shiki's slung over her back, she's called Kokutou Azaka.<br>

Needless to say, the fact that our last names are the same means we are blood relatives, and as my little sister, Azaka is a first-year high school student. She has a weak constitution, so she was given over to a relative’s house around the time she was ten, for the reason that the city air was not good for her body; after that, we only met a few times. I think the last time I saw her was New Year's Day the year I entered high school. At the time she was still a child, but when I saw the Azaka who returned this summer, I was quite surprised. The little sister I faced for the first time in ages had grown into a lady with such a noble air about her as to make me wonder if her genes came from our family.<br>

As expected, I think that with just a change of environment from the house where one was born, that thing called a human grows up beautifully.<br>

Her actions have become spirited, too, so there's no trace of her former frailty. The fact that I wasn't with her during that period of growth from the age of ten to fifteen might be a factor, but for a while I couldn't accept the fact that this girl was my little sister Azaka.<br>

I steal a glance at Azaka, sitting at the far-off desk.<br>

With a number of books thicker than a dictionary stacked up beside her, she is studiously and quietly copying down the contents. ... It's the study material Touko-san left for Azaka as she went out.<br>

The heavy conversation yesterday with Touko-san put me in a gloomy mood as well, but my current greatest worry might be this.<br>

"Nii-san. I'm going to become Touko-san's apprentice."<br>

Whatever she was thinking, one month ago Azaka said such a thing. Of course I protested, but my little sister was determined and would not listen to my opinion.<br>

...Ah, geez. Why does a weird thing like a magician have to come out of an exceedingly normal family like ours?<br>

"Azaka."<br>

The phone orders put aside for now, I called to my little sister who was sitting in front of me.<br>

Azaka finishes writing the sentence she was copying, and then with her black hair rippling about her head, raised her face towards me. Her eyes which are calm and dignified in spite of being full of a proud temper politely look this way as if asking, 'what is it?'.<br>

"I know that it's a holiday since it's your school's foundation day. But even so, is it okay for you to be in a place like this?"<br>

"Nii-san, please visit the house once in a while. There was a fire in the school dormitory, so right now it's in ruins. Mother knows that there was a request from the school for students with homes nearby to leave the dormitories if possible for now."<br>

With eyes and a voice that remind me of the school president from my high school days, she knocks aside my question.<br>

"A fire --- one big enough for the whole dorm to burn?"<br>

"Only on the east wing. Half of the first and second year dorms were burnt to ashes. Although it didn't appear on the news because the school hushed it up."<br>

Azaka says something shocking in a firm tone.<br>

A fire breaking out at a famous girls' school like Reien is definitely something that could turn into a scandal, regardless of the truth behind the matter. However, if we are talking about Reien, which takes pride in the affection its powerful alumnae feel for the school, they might be able to take care of a fire in secret.<br>

But for a fire to occur at a school dormitory, it's a horrible thought. It's also easy to imagine from what Azaka said it that it was arson --- by a student, at that.<br>

“--- Nii-san. You aren’t getting any strange ideas, are you?”<br>

Azaka glares at me as if she read my mind.<br>

... Because of that event over the summer, my little sister doesn't like Kokutou Mikiya sticking his head into suspicious events. A silent argument always occurs following a conversation like this, so I decided to try and change the Subject.<br>

"That aside. What are you doing right now?”<br>

“It's nothing to do with you, Nii-san.”<br>

As if she knows what I want to say, Azaka's reply is chilly.<br>

"It does have something to do with me. I mean, my sister wants to be a wizard! What am I supposed to say to Father?"<br>

"Oh, you are planning to drop by the house?”<br>

… Ugh. Little rascal, she knows perfectly well that our parents and I cut our ties after we argued.<br>

“Speaking of which, Nii-san. A wizard and a mage are different things. How can you not know about that when you work for Touko-san?”<br>

Now that I think about it, Touko-san does sometimes say something like that. Something along the lines of how it's convenient to advertise yourself as a wizard rather than a magician as it presents the kind of image that you want, but that those are the titles of two completely different things, or something like that.<br>

“Ah, I did hear that before. But there wasn't much difference that I could see. They both use suspicious magic.”<br>

“Magic and sorcery are different.<br>
The art we call sorcery, it's definitely something outside our everyday reality. In the end, though, it's still nothing more than making something that is possible normally happen under extraordinary circumstances. Should I give you an example?”<br>

Azaka walked over to Touko-san's desk, then picked up a letter opener that was lying there. A piece of silverware of excellent craftsmanship, it's one of Touko-san’s most frequently handled items.<br>

Taking out an unneeded document, Azaka writes something on it with the knife. Suddenly --- spewing thick clouds of smoke, the document begins to burn away.<br>

“….”<br>

Unable to speak, I just stared at the scene. Touko-san had done something of the like (although on a larger scale) before, but I didn't know what to say at seeing my little sister do that sort of thing.<br>

“--- Stop that. That, is there some kind of trick to it?”<br>

“Of course there is. It might look amazing to someone who didn't know about it, but it's really nothing special. What I did just now doesn’t even qualify as an ability. If you are going to set something on fire, a disposable lighter will do the trick. Whether you do it with a lighter or a finger, the fact that you are setting an object on fire is the same. That kind of thing, it's not miraculous at all, is it? Do you understand, Nii-san? Sorcery is like that.”<br>

Azaka continues on confidently.<br>

In short, magic seems to be equivalent to a substitute good for civilization. No, from what Azaka said, it may be more accurate to say it has been overtaken by civilization.

“Take making it rain, for example. Whether it's through science or magic, the result is indistinguishable. It's just that the method is different; the amount of effort that goes into it is nearly the same. Sorcery may appear to be the work of an instant, but the preparatory steps required are extensive. If you take the time and money spent, it’s nearly equivalent to making the rainclouds with science. In the past, that really was something close to a miracle. By today's standards, however, it's not a miracle or anything of the sort. Previously, any mage that could turn a whole village to ashes was hailed as a wizard, but these days if you have money, that's something anyone can do. All that is required is to throw one missile.”

That method would actually be much faster and more effective, Azaka adds.<br>

'''TN: Next paragraph was VERY weird so translation was a bit difficult, I'll rework it when I do the final version.'''

“Sorcery is nothing more than making possible through your own strength what can be done now after spending a mind-boggling amount of time on the problem. It might be so even if you look at it academically. Rather than looking/thinking for decades in order to obtain the truth, it might be faster to go to the moon and look/think there. It's frustrating, but sorcery is of the 'taboo ritual'(秘儀 禁忌) type, so it cannot achieve miracles. <!-- that was the best translation I could come up with for 秘儀 (hiki) secret ceremony; ritual; sanctum sanctorum + 禁忌 (kinki) taboo. Feel free to substitute in a better one. --> --- A miracle is something beyond the powers of humanity, isn't it? Something currently unachievable in this world no matter how much money you throw at it. The ones who can make those things are called wizards, and their art, magic.”<br>

Something humans can't do yet. That is magic, is what Azaka said.<br>

“Then, wouldn't there have been more wizards than mages in the past? Since people in those days wouldn’t have had lighters or missiles.”<br>

"You are right. That is why a wizard was a feared figure in the past, and why being one could even be called a job. These days, though, it's different, isn't it? Strictly speaking, they aren't needed, the things called mages. These days, magic itself is disappearing. After all, you can count on your fingers the number of things that are impossible for humanity, can't you? Whatever the case, they say that there are only about five wizards in the world today."<br>

... Sure enough. With those meanings there would be a difference between mages and wizards. If we are talking about things that humanity can't do currently, the only things would be the control of time and space. Seeing the future or the past isn't reliable, but this is a time when such things are becoming possible, so impossibilities really are able to be counted on one hand.<br>

Someday --- humanity will eliminate the very existence of magic. Kind of like how a child, who became a scientist because he was intrigued by a number of events he thought miraculous, loses that sense of wonder as he comes to think of those events as simple phenomena in the course of his research.<br>

"Hmm. In that case, wouldn't the last magic be something like the power to make everyone happy?"<br>

Umm. I can't say I know much about all this.<br>

"----."<br>

For some reason, Azaka has shut herself up.<br>

She appeared to look this way, with a face as if she was looking at something unexpected, but suddenly turns away.<br>

"... Magic is something that can't be reached. And I never wanted to be a wizard. Learning sorcery is just for the purpose of achieving my goals."<br>

"Really? So magic is out, but if it's sorcery you will learn it? That sounds like what you just said, Azaka."<br>

When I summed up the talk by coming to that conclusion, Azaka shakes her head, and says no.<br>

"What have you been listening to, Nii-san?<br>

Sorcery was magic too, in the past. All that happened was that humanity caught up to it, so its learning and use has become possible with effort.<br>

... It's frustrating, but I don't have any built-up history like a mage's family heritage. Those people we call mages are families who build up their blood and history. The first of them would have been simple academics too. The mysteries that they have learned, and the strength they built up, they pass those on to the next generation. Their descendants continue their work, and pass it on to their own descendants. --- In this way, they repeat an endless cycle as they try to approach the bounds of magic. Touko-san seems to be the sixth generation, but apparently the third generation heir of their family was an incredible genius and discovered some amazing things. I think Touko-san's gifts are a result of carrying that thick blood as well. People like me who are just starting to learn magic now can't become mages that easily."<br>

"Hmm. Sounds like you are going to find it tough, for many reasons."<br>

Mmm, I suddenly understood something.<br>

Thick blood --- the power of your bloodline.<br>

That's true for any family. To us it may be our many relatives, or the wealth you have inherited.<br>

But, in the end, that ---<br>

"Oii, then what are you doing? Ours is a normal family. Never mind magic, we've never even dipped into Buddhism. Wouldn't it be that we can't learn things like magic?"<br>

"That's correct, but apparently we have the potential. According to Sensei, the delicacy shown when I ignite something isn't very common."<br>

Azaka speaks as if she's sulking.<br>

... Ah, geez, what good is being able to set things on fire going to do her? It could even be that this brat was the one responsible for the fire in the student dormitory.<br>

"Hey, you said it yourself that an ability that ends with one generation is useless. Then whatever you do is pointless. Even if you try to become a mage instead of a wizard, it will end up no different in the end. If you don't come back to a normal path quickly, you won't even be able to find a job."<br>

It's hard finding jobs these days as it is.<br>

Azaka immediately tried to refute that statement.<br>

Before that could happen --- an even more offensive piece of dialogue came leaping into the office with the sound of footsteps.<br>

"No, getting a job won't be a problem. With that level of skill at her age, in just two years' time she'll be getting offers left and right. She could even be hired as a first-class curator."<br>

With a loud whuffing noise, the door opens and Touko-san enters the room.<br>


<span style="font-size: 300%;"><center>* * *</center></span>


Having shed her cold, Touko-san walks over to the chief's desk so briskly that you wonder if she was ever sick.<br>

Sitting down after hanging her coat on the chair, she looked at her desk and frowned. Probably because the location of the letter opener was different from before.<br>

"Azaka, I told you not to use someone else's things. A person becomes dull if they rely upon tools. I suppose it was because you didn't want to fail in front of Kokutou, right?"<br>

"--- yes, you are right."<br>

Upon being reprimanded by Touko-san, Azaka replies clearly even as her cheeks become red with embarrassment. ... It's those things about her that deserve to be admired, even if she is my little sister.<br>

"Well, you were having a pretty interesting talk. Weren't you disinterested in sorcery before, Kokutou?"<br>

"Of course I was, but... Oh, by the way, Touko-san. Do you remember yesterday?"<br>

"Eh?" Having taken off her glasses, Touko-san cocks her head in confusion.<br>

...That already mysterious conversation from last night, the one who began it doesn't remember talking about it.<br>

Touko-san pulls out a cigarette and takes a puff as she holds it in her mouth.<br>

"Anyway, Azaka. Why are you telling such things to Kokutou? Concealment and secrecy are the greatest prerequisites for sorcery. ... Although, I suppose there wouldn't be any problems if the person you are talking to is Kokutou."<br>

"What's okay if it's me?"<br>

"You won't understand even if we tell you. There's no reason for the secret to escape either. Since you are the type that knows how to choose the topic depending on the person. You wouldn't talk about that kind of thing with a normal human."<br>

"That may be so, but --- Is it really not good for a sorcerer to be exposed to others?"<br>

"Indeed, it's bad. Although it wouldn't really matter socially, the power of your sorcery falls. Do you know the origin of the word 'mystery', Kokutou?"<br>

Touko-san asked that as she brought her body forward on the desk.<br>

"When you say mystery, do you mean the sort of mystery in mystery novels?"<br>

"In a way. Not the detective novel sort, but mystery in the mystical sense."<br>

"Yeah, I do. It's originally Greek, not English."<br>

"... Well, that's true. In Greek it means to close something. Signifying stagnation, concealment, and self-completion. You see, a mystery has meaning in the fact that it is a mystery. Keeping it hidden is a nature of the technique. A sorcery that has had its nature revealed can't become a mystery, no matter what kind of supernatural methods it uses. It's nothing more than another method. Once that happens, that sorcery instantly becomes weaker.<br>

Sorcery was originally magic too. In short, there was no question that the strength was pulled out from the origin that was its source. Should we imagine for a moment that there was something along the lines of a 'mystery that makes you rich'? Let's say that this has a strength of 10. If only one person knows it, they can use the entire force of 10 of its power. But if two people know it, that it gets halved into two units of 5 and gets used like that. See, it's gotten weaker, hasn't it? The way of expressing it may be different, but I think that this is a fundamental rule in regards to everything in this universe."<br>

I can't understand all of what Touko-san is saying, but I think I get the point she is trying to convey.<br>

If concealment and obscurement is the law of existence that thing called sorcery exists by, I understand why mages would be reluctant to reveal their sorcery in front of others.<br>

"In that case, you must do as you please where others can't see you, Touko-san."<br>

"Nope, I don't."<br>

Zkk, Touko-san started talking as she stubbed out the cigarette in her ashtray.<br>

"I wouldn't have a choice in a battle between mages, but otherwise I don't use it even if I'm alone. The only time I use sorcerous techniques is when it's required for a ritual, or in a ceremony in order to proceed to the next level.<br>

Some time around the medieval era or so, an organization called the Association was formed. Because of their excessive regulation of sorcery, the Association foresaw the degeneration of mages. So they took the power of their organization and turned sorcery itself into something that is never revealed. What they did was to take a mystery that was visible and turn it into a mystery that no one knew about. As a result, mystery began to disappear from society.<br>

In order to strictly enforce this, the Association made some pretty byzantine rules.<br>

For example, if a mage pulls a civilian into a magical phenomenon, the association will dispatch an assassin to kill that mage. This is done to destroy the entity that is harming the larger community of mages. ... That's probably where the myth that a mage that reveals himself to people loses his power came from.<br>

The Association tried to stop the degeneration of sorcery by reinforcing the attribute of concealment, and as a result, those mages that belonged to the Association came to not throw their sorcery around with abandon.<br>

There were mages who resented those restrictions and retreated into the countryside, but the Association holds enormous amounts of academic works and lands. Most of what a mage requires to live as a mage is monopolized by the Association. To not belong to the Association was to be the same as being the outcast in a village. If you wanted to do an experiment, all the territories where the node lines met were owned by the Association, and if you tried to learn sorcery, you couldn't obtain any texts, so you couldn't learn anything. Therefore, a mage who was not a member of the Association could not practice sorcery even if they wanted to. That's the power of a multitude. In that respect, it's very impressive."<br>

"Uh, Touko-san. In that case, does that mean I would have to join the Association too...?"<br>

Azaka's hesitantly interrupting voice somehow held a note of unease.<br>

"You don't have to, but doing so would be more convenient. It's not as if you can't come out once you go in. You are free to leave that place when you wish. Since they regard the fact that they aren't rulers very seriously."<br>

"But in that case there's no meaning to their extraordinary levels of concealment. Sorcery would spread if those who have learned magic enter the outside world."<br>

Upon hearing Azaka's reasonable opinion, Touko-san goes, Ahhh, and nods.<br>

"That's true. Actually, there are a lot of people who plan to study at the Association and gain power, then leave for the countryside. Such thoughts tend to disappear after about ten years, though. Because the Association is the optimal environment for leaning sorcery. To go down to the countryside when everything a mage needs is already around you, no one does that kind of stupid thing '''(TN: Lol. Look who's talking, although I suppose most mages don't have seal orders upon their persons)'''. Studying sorcery is the foremost objective of a mage. They don't think about using their power and the things they've learned. If they have that kind of time to spare, they use it to approach an even higher level of mystery. But since Azaka has a fundamentally different objective from us, you don't need to worry about being infected with the Association's poison even if you decide to join. If you are interested in reaching higher levels, it's a place that might be worth looking into."<br>

Azaka knits her eyebrows together as if that's troublesome. In the end, it appears as though Azaka herself has no interest it doing something like that. To me, who doesn't like the idea of his little sister studying abroad in a suspicious place like that, Azaka's pondering comes as a welcome relief.<br>

"... I'll just ask one thing. What do you mean when you say that secrets are kept even within that Association?"<br>

Unexpectedly, I hear something from the sofa.<br>

Over there is Shiki, who has been sitting there since before without a word. She's the type of person who doesn't get involved in a conversation that she's not interested in, so until now she had been staring at the scenery outside the window.<br>

"--- There is that. A mage won't reveal the results of his experiments even within the Association. What the person next to them is researching, what their goals are, and what they have obtained are all a mystery. The only time a mage will reveal the results of their work is when they are passing it on to their descendants just before they die."<br>

"Studying for their benefit alone, yet not using that power for their own sake? What purpose is there in a life like that, Touko? Is it that the goal is to learn, and the process is to learn too? If the only things you have are the beginning and the end, that's the same as having a zero."<br>

... As usual, Shiki talks like a guy with that fine and clear feminine voice of hers.<br>

Touko-san appeared to have a faint bitter smile on her face, as if Shiki's biting remarks had hit a nerve somewhere.<br>

"There is a goal. However, what you said is correct too. A mage is pursuing a zero. His life is pointing towards something that never existed in the first place.<br>

A mage's ultimate goal, you see, is to reach the 'maelstrom of origins'. It's also called the Akashic Record, but it may be better to just regard the edge of the maelstrom as having such properties attached to it.<br>

The thing called the maelstrom of origins, it is probably the birthplace of everything. All phenomena flow out from it. If you know the origin, the results are naturally produced. To describe it as it is, you could say that it is the 'perfect knowledge'. By creating a standard like perfection or the like, we are ultimately limiting the concept, so even that description is incorrect. But since that the easiest way of defining it, the name stuck.<br>

Essentially, all the branches of magic that have spread throughout this world are nothing more than one branch of a small river flowing out from this maelstrom. This is the reason that every country has their own traditions and legends. The core is the same, but what decorates the exterior is the background of the one who understood that 'river'. Astrology, alchemy, kabbala, spiritualism, rune, the innumerable researchers. Their origins are the same, so in the end they hold the same final destination in mind. Because, they who have touched the tip of the stream that split off from the maelstrom of origins called magic, they have imagined what lay before --- the shape of the beginning.<br>

To reach the truth is the ultimate goal of all mages. They don't have any desire for petty things like the meaning of life. All they want is to know the shape of pure truth. They are that collective of people. Those who abandon self in order that they may gaze upon their souls --- the multitude who can never be rewarded for their efforts. The world calls them mages."<br>

Speaking with a clear voice, Touko-san's gaze is sharper than ever. Her amber eyes flicker as if they are on fire.<br>

... That may be so, but unfortunately, I can't understand even half of what was just said.<br>

I only understood one thing from that speech, so I decided to ask her about it.<br>

"Uh, can I ask something? If there is an objective, wouldn't studying have a meaning as well? Not being able to be compensated ...., Uhm, is it like that? No one has managed to reach it, have they?"<br>

"Someone did. We know that it exists because somebody managed to get there. Those magics that still exist today are things left behind by the ones who got there.<br>

But --- Those ones who got to that side never came back. Mages who were great enough to leave their names behind in history were lost at the very moment they got to that point. Whether that place is such a wonderful world, or if it's a world you cannot escape once you get to it. Those are things no one knows. Without getting there themselves, that is. However, reaching it with the efforts of one generation is impossible. The reason mages shed blood during their research, and pass the results of their work to their descendants, is to amplify their magic power. It's nothing but a way of creating a descendant who can reach the maelstrom of origins. You see, many generations of mages have already dreamed of the maelstrom of origins, died, and passed on their work to their children, who in turn added to it and passed it onto their children. There's no end to it. They can never be compensated for it, either. Even if a family that has reached that point were to appear, it would probably be impossible --- because there are meddlers."<br>

In contrast with her words, which suggest hatred, Touko-san lets loose a dry laugh. In a manner that makes it seems that she thinks it good that there is such a meddler in this world.<br>

"Well, what I am saying is that it is simply not possible no matter which side you are on. Today's mages can't reach the maelstrom and impose a new system --- a new branch of magic."<br>

Touko-san says this with a shrug, as if saying 'that's the end of this long story'.<br>

With that Azaka and I were unable to say anything, but Shiki alone points out the contradiction in Touko-san's story.<br>

"What strange people. Why do you people continue, even though you know it's beyond you?"<br>

"Who knows? Maybe all those people who call themselves 'mages' are those who were born without the ability to grasp the concept of 'impossible', or idiots who can't give up."<br>

Touko-san cleanly acknowledges the statement with a shrug.<br>

Seeing that, Shiki went, 'What, you already knew', as if she was surprised.


<span style="font-size: 300%;"><center>* * *</center></span>


When an hour or so had passed after the end of the conversation, the office had regained its usual tranquility.<br>

It was getting to be about three in the afternoon, so as a break from work I brewed some coffee for everyone in the room. After getting some Japanese tea for Azaka, I sat back down at my desk.<br>

As for my work, the overall schedule was set, and my paycheck for the month looked to be safe. The thought relaxed me as I drank the coffee.<br>

The sound of people sipping tea could be heard echoing through the quiet office.<br>

Suddenly, as if she was trying to break the peaceful silence permeating the room, Azaka aimed a preposterous question at Shiki.<br>

"--- Excuse me. Shiki-san is a guy, isn't he?"<br>

... Enough to almost make me drop my cup, that was truly a hellish question.<br>

"---."<br>

That was true for Shiki, too. Taking her lips off the cup of coffee in her hands, she makes a face which suggests she is offended, but at a loss for words at the same time. In her current state, she has no rebuttal for my idiotic little sister.<br>

Seeing that as a sign of victory, Azaka continues.<br>

"Since you aren't denying it, you must be acknowledging the fact. You are definitely a guy, Shiki-san."<br>

"Azaka!"<br>

Dear lord. Unable to contain myself, I ended up jumping in.<br>

These kind of questions need to be ignored, but in this particular case I wasn't in my right mind.<br>

I got up confidently enough, but no suitable words come to mind. Without another word, I sat down again. ... I felt like a soldier from some defeated army.<br>

"Don't fuss over unimportant details, you."<br>

In a very angry voice, Shiki gives Azaka a reply. Seeing as how she's rubbing her temple with one hand, it could be that she's trying contain her temper.<br>

"Really? But this is a very important matter."<br>

Like Shiki, who is always outwardly cool, Azaka responds coolly as well. With her elbows upon the desk and her fingers laced, Azaka's appearance is that of a chairman conducting a meeting.<br>

"An important matter, you say. There's not much difference whether I'm a boy or a girl. It doesn't have anything to do with you, Azaka. Or are you trying to pick a fight with me?"<br>

"Something like that would have been decided from our very first meeting."

It feels like the two are glaring at each other, even though neither is looking at the other person.<br>

... As for me, I would like to know what had been decided, but this isn't the sort of mood in which I should ask that question.<br>

"... Azaka. I don't know why you feel you must bring this up again after all this time, but in the hopes that it will be the last time I will say it again. Shiki is a girl, definitely."<br>

First, I just said that.<br>

That one statement, which could be wrapped around Azaka's rudeness while restraining Shiki's displeasure -  for some reason, it felt like it scraped their nerves even rawer than before.<br>

"I know something like that. Keep quiet for a second, Nii-san."<br>

If you know, then why are you asking, you?!

"What I want to ask isn't her physical sex. All I want to confirm is what side her psychological sex leans towards. Although, superficially at least, Shiki-san seems like a man."<br>

Stressing the word 'seems', Azaka looks at Shiki out of the corner of her eyes.<br>

Shiki gets more and more disgruntled.<br>

"If my body's a girl's, it doesn't matter what side my personality is. What will you do if I am a guy, brat?"<br>

"I wonder, do you want me to introduce you to a girl from Reien?"<br>

--- Ah.<br>

Hearing Azaka's words that are no longer dancing around the issue and have become a straight-out challenge, I finally understood.<br>

That Azaka, is she still not letting go of what happened on that night two years ago?<br>

The Chinese New Year during my first year of high school. There was a time when I invited Shiki over to my house as we went home after visiting the temple together. Azaka had been at home for once for the winter holidays, and being confronted with Shiki, she fell into a mildly shocked state. That wasn't unexpected, either. At the time, Shiki still had another personality called SHIKI. Coming face to face with Shiki's voice and way of acting, which had been even closer to the picture of a healthy young man, Azaka had fallen ill for a whole day.<br>

Even so, she had gone too far just now. I can't help her even if she gets beaten up by Shiki.<br>

"You know, Azaka..."<br>

At exactly the same time as I stood up again to glare at Azaka, Shiki got up from the sofa.<br>

"I'll pass. Those Reien bitches, there's not a proper one among them."<br>

Hn, Shiki snorted, and then she just left the office.<br>

The navy kimono swishes as it disappears from my field of vision.<br>

I thought about running after her, but that could all too easily have the effect of pouring oil upon the fire of Shiki's displeasure instead.<br>

Thanking the gods for the miracle that nothing had happened, I sat down and drained the now-cool coffee in one shot.<br>

"Pity. In the end, I may have taken a blow instead."<br>

Tch. Clicking her tongue, Azaka loosens her posture, stretching her arms as she leans her body on the backrest of her chair, as if she had been in a ready-to-fight state until now as well.<br>

... I've always thought this, but why does Azaka's personality take a turn for the worse whenever she talks with Shiki?<br>

This time, though, I feel that I can't let things pass without saying something to her.<br>

"Azaka. What was that just now?"<br>

"What do you mean, what? It's all because the relationship between Nii-san and Shiki-san isn't clear. Haven't you ever had any thoughts like that? Whether Ryougi Shiki is befriending Nii-san as a girl, or as a guy?"<br>

While her manner of speech is stern, Azaka's blushing as she talks. Because of that imbalance, I realised the point my little sister was trying to make.<br>

"Azaka, we call that an idiot's conjecture. Whether Shiki is a girl or a boy, it's not something for us to use as a conversation topic. And furthermore, Shiki is originally a girl, so even if her way of thinking is that of a guy, it doesn't make much difference, does it?"<br>

Azaka narrows her eyes and glares at me.<br>

"--- Okay then. So what Nii-san is saying is that as long as she's a girl there aren't any real problems. In other words, you think that relationships between the same sex are wrong. In that case, answer me this.<br>

Let's say that here we have a man who has become a woman through a sex change and a woman who has become a man by the same method. In the event that both these people truly love Nii-san, who would you choose? The one whose appearance is that of a woman but is really a man inside, or the one whose body is that of a man but whose mind is a woman's? Now, give me an answer."<br>

...Azaka's question is... difficult.<br>

The more you think about it, the more it becomes evident that it is a situation in which you cannot choose either side.<br>

If you just think about it casually, of course you would choose the person whose sex is female over the one who was originally a woman but now has the body of a man. But that person's mind is still that of a man, so it leads on to mean that she likes Kokutou Mikiya as a man.<br>

I couldn't trivialize the matter to the point where I was able to think that a person's sex didn't matter in love. In that case, however, it means that I recognize men and women only by their outward appearance, so I start to feel that I'm an ugly person inside. On top of that, relationships between the same sex are prohibited from the beginning, so a situation in which a man loves Kokutou Mikiya as a man isn't acceptable either. Then the one I choose would be the one who likes me as a woman, but that person's sex is male --- Ahah, why do I have to hurt my head over a question like this?!<br>

... Wait a second. This, isn't there something paradoxical about it from the start? Although you don't accept a relationship between people of the same sex, either choice has the trap of being a same-sex relationship.<br>

When I realized that and lifted my head, Touko-san was holding in a laugh as if she found the whole matter amusing.<br>

"--- That's unfair, Azaka. This is the famous question in which「Truth and Lies co-exist」!"

"Yes, you are right. It's the famous Euphemenide's Paradox."<br>

"True, to Kokutou it's a source of a devastating paradox. You guys really don't let things get boring for me. Is the Kokutou family all like this, Azaka?"<br>

In stark contrast to the still laughing Touko-san, Azaka is looking this way with an earnest expression on her face. ... So that was it. This girl was worrying about me in her own fashion. In that case, since Shiki herself wasn't clear on the subject, I at least have to clearly state my opinion on the subject.<br>

"... Yeah, I think I understand what you're trying to say, Azaka. It's just that I don't particularly mind which way Shiki leans. Even if you were to say that Shiki was SHIKI, I don't think I would feel any different."<br>

When I said that while scratching my cheek to hide my embarrassment, Azaka got angry and jumped up from her seat.<br>

"--- So are you saying it's okay even if you are going out with SHIKI?"<br>

"... Uhm. Well, yeah."<br>

Suddenly, something bulky slammed into my face.<br>

"That's too filthy --- !"<br>

Dadadada, the sound of someone running out.<br>

By the time I thought, 'Ah, that book Azaka was reading until just now was what came flying', I was alone in the office with Touko-san.<br>

Shiki had left after getting angry with Azaka, and Azaka had just run out.<br>

As for me, I was glaring at Touko-san, who was still laughing as I gingerly felt my aching face.<br>


<span style="font-size: 300%;"><center>* * *</center></span>


And so, two hours passed and the time came to go home.<br>

Neither Shiki nor Azaka came back, so I thought about dropping by Shiki's apartment while brewing the coffee that had become a ritual before leaving work.<br>

"Oh, that's right. Sorry Kokutou, but I need you to do some extra work for me."<br>

Those kind of worries disappear at the one statement Touko-san san throws my way as we drink the coffee.<br>

"Extra work? Did you take up some new task?"<br>

"No, it's not something related to that side. It isn't anything that will get you money. I went out this morning for this, you see, and I heard an interesting story from a detective that I'm indebted to. Kokutou, do you know about Kayamahama's Ogawa [[Kara_no_Kyoukai:Chapter05_Glossary_and_Notes|Mansion]]?"<br>

"By Kayamahama, you must mean that apartment complex that they built on the reclaimed land.<!-- I'm changing the instances of 'mansion' in this chapter into 'apartment', since the Japanese use of the word マンション means 'apartment complex'， and not 'a big fancy house' as in English. --> The one they say is a futuristic model or something."<br>

"Yes, that one. Was it thirty minutes by subway from here? It's a neighborhood that uses land in a posh manner that's unthinkable to us living here in the city. Well, you see, back when they were developing that place, there was one mansion that I briefly checked out. It seems that there was an uncanny incident there.<br>

At about ten o'clock last night, an office worker in her twenties got mugged in the street. The victim was a woman, so it was probably a rape attempt. Unfortunately, the victim got stabbed with a knife. The criminal fled down the street, but the victim couldn't do that. The victim, who was stabbed in the abdomen didn't even have a cell phone. The crime scene was the apartment complex, too. Which meant there wasn't any reason to expect there to be any shops nearby, and if it's ten at night there are hardly any people going by. So as she bled out, she went into the nearest apartment to ask for help.<br> 

But that apartment building's first and second floors weren't in use. They say that it's only from the third floor up that the mansion is inhabited. By the time the woman got to the third floor using the elevator, she knew her body had reached its limit. She screamed for someone to help her from that location for about ten minutes, but none of the apartment residents heard her, and at 11 PM she died."<br>

... It's a tragic story.<br>

These days, as apartment buildings get larger and larger, there is increasingly less contact between neighbors. Or rather, it seems that there is an unspoken rule in the city now that ignoring others is polite.<br>

I remember hearing a story similar to the one just now from a friend of mine. That one night, screams could be heard from the apartment a floor below, but not one person went to help, and when morning came they found that the child of that family had been killed by the parents. Apparently the other apartment residents had heard but ignored it, thinking that it was someone playing around.<br>

"The problem starts from there. They say that the victim’s cries for help could be heard even from the apartment building next door. Not screams, but the sound of a human asking for help. The people in the building next door say that they ignored it, thinking that since it was so loud, the people in that building would obviously run over to see what was wrong."<br>

"What? --- Are you saying that the people in that apartment building didn't know?"<br>

"Yeah, that's what they're saying. Without exception, they are all saying that it was a quiet night as usual. Well, if that was all, there wouldn't be anything too strange about it, but previously in that mansion there was one more case just like this one. I didn't hear many details, but that detective came asking for advice since there is something suspicious about something so weird happening twice."<br>

"... So, you are telling me to investigate the place, boss."<br>

"No, we will go to the actual location together. What you can do is find a real estate agent and get a list of residents so that you can quickly investigate where they all lived previously. Seeing as it's not something you can earn any money from, you can take your time. The deadline is December."<br>

Replying that I understood, I put my cup of coffee to my lips.<br>

... For some reason, I got the feeling that I was stepping into another weird situation.<br>

"But you know, Kokutou."<br>

"Yes?"<br>

"Are you... really fine if Shiki is a guy?"<br>

... If I was talking to Gakuto right now, I would have sprayed out the coffee I was holding in mouth without hesitation.<br>

"... Probably not. I do like Shiki, but if I were to express my desires, I prefer her as a girl."<br>

"Eh, what is that? So boring. In that case, there's no problem."<br>

What a disappointment, Touko-san shrugs, and lifts the cup of coffee to her mouth.<br>

... There's, no, problem?<br>

"Wait a minute. What do you mean by 'there's no problem'? That's something that ---."<br>

"Yeah. Shiki's definitely a girl mentally too. There's no way she wouldn't be a girl when the yang-aligned SHIKI's already disappeared."<br>

That's --- But, in that case, what's with that manner of speech of hers? Didn't the Shiki from before use a girl's way of talking?<br>

"Look here, the one that took the male as being the yang side and the female as the yin side in the first place is Shiki, wasn't it? In that case, the story's simple. The idea of yin and yang comes from the Taegukdo. Do you know about Korea's Taegeuk? It's a circle shape."<br>

'''TN: I have no idea what Taegukdo would be in English so if someone knows pm me with the English equivalent. Or post in the translation notes thread in the forums.'''

If you say a circle shape... She may be talking about that picture where you take a circle and divide it into two with a wavy line in the middle. That's not a simple half-moon shape, but a twisted half-circle that looks as if two souls are trying to grab each other's tails. If we were to describe it as a word the 'の' character is close to that nuance.<br>

"If you talk about a Taegeukdo, one half is white, the other half black. And whichever side you look at, there is a small hole of the other color punched into it. A black spot in the white whorl, a white spot in the black whorl.<br>

You understand right. The black side is the yin; in other words, the woman. This picture is one of halves that are intertwined yet incompatible --- A black and white paradigm."<br>

"An incompatible --- Paradigm?"<br>

Those words, I've heard them before.<br>

"Yeah. It would also be okay to call it yin-yang, light and darkness, right and wrong. It refers to a state where something derived from one original object has been split into two. This, in yin and yang terms, is sometimes known as Ryougi [両儀]."<br>

"--- Ryougi, that's -"<br>

"Correct, Shiki's family name. Her dual personality, it was something decided from the remote past. Did she obtain a dual personality because she was a member of the Ryougi family, or was it that they knew a Shiki would be born sometime and took the name Ryougi? It's probably the latter.<br>

The Ryougi clan is a dynasty, just like the Asagami and the Fujou clans. They are families who are trying to create humans who are beyond human, and used various methods to ensure the birth of an heir. All so that they could pass on their family's 'inheritance'.<br>

The Ryougi clan is especially interesting. They knew that if they had a supernatural ability, they would one day be destroyed by the civilized world. So they thought up a supernatural ability that would let them appear as normal human beings. --- Hey, Kokutou. Those people we call professionals, why is it that they can only reach the top in one area?"<br>

Caught off guard by the sudden question, I was unable to give her an answer.<br>

Today was a very long day, and the information coming into my head was exceeding my limits. On top of which --- To think that Ryougi was born into such a family, just why ---.<br>

"That's because no matter how perfect a body, or how high the amount of natural aptitude you are born with, you can only put one talent into one person. The higher you climb, the more you are restricted as to what other peaks you can go up, until in the end you cannot climb any others.<br>

The Ryougi clan solved that problem. By imbuing one body with a countless number of personalities. It's the same as a computer. If you put hundreds upon hundreds of pieces of software into one piece of hardware called Shiki, a professional in all areas is created. That's why their name is Shiki [式]. The Shiki [式] in Shikigami [式神]. The Shiki [式] when you talk about a numerical formula [數式]. A program that fulfils any task required of it perfectly. An empty doll that possesses countless numbers of identities, and can be modified by putting in another personality with different morals, thought patterns, even senses ---."<br>

Did Shiki already know this?<br>

...Ahah, she definitely knew. That's why she stubbornly avoided becoming friendlier. Accepting the fact that she wasn't an average person, the fact that she had not been born into a normal family, she had just been trying to live a quiet life  ---.<br>

"This is a continuation on the subject of the Taegukdo, but the division of the chaotic「  」into two is [両儀]. In order to further stabilise this, and in order to increase the number of classes available, they divide it into four phenomena [四象]. They then further increase the complexity by cutting it into eight trigrams [八卦]. Like this, they keep dividing by a base of two. This, too, could symbolise Shiki's ability.<br>

But that no longer exists. A bug appeared in the perfect program, you see. The Shiki you see now, well, there may be slight problems, but she is a perfectly normal human with self-awareness."<br>

Click. The lighter's flame springs up.<br>

At Touko-san's words, I'm going 'Eh?' and asking a question again.<br>

"Why are you making a face like that? The one that broke it was you. A mentally disturbed person, you see, doesn't break down because they don't even dream that they may be mentally disturbed. Shiki was like that before, too. Yeah, but a human called Kokutou Mikiya made her aware of the fact. That the existence of the one called Ryougi Shiki was strange.<br>

Ah --- That's right. If you were to say it was a rescue, you already saved Shiki two years ago, didn't you?"<br>

Here, and Touko-san pushed a cigarette at me.<br>

I don't smoke, but I accepted it and lit up.<br>

...The first cigarette of my whole life, it had a very indistinct taste.<br>

"Ugh, the point of the conversation got twisted. And I didn't really feel like talking about Shiki, either. Recently it seems like I keep feeling rushed. My lips are getting loose without me even realising it. Who knows? You might happen to die tomorrow, Kokutou."<br>

"--- That's a little scary coming from you, Touko-san. I'll be watching out for cars, then."<br>

"Yeah, that might be good. Anyway, about that Taeguekdo.<br>

I told you how each side in it has a spot right? The black in the white, the white in the black. They call this the yin in the yang, and the yang in the yin.<br>

In short, this is referring to those parts in a male that are feminine and those parts in a woman that are masculine. Saying that someone is yang-aligned just because they use a man's manner of speech is a rash judgement. No matter who it is, every human has some traits of the other sex. Men who like to dress up as women are a prominent example. There's no doubt in my mind that the Shiki right now is the yin-aligned Shiki. The reason she uses a masculine manner of speech is unconscious compensatory behaviour on her part to the dead SHIKI. Maybe because she wants for you at least to remember SHIKI. Kiki, isn't it so cute of her?"<br>

"---."<br>

... Ah, now that it's spelled out for me I understand.<br>

Shiki may talk like a guy now, but she never acts like a guy like she did two years ago. No matter how you look at it, her movements and actions are those of a girl.<br>

Having lost the half of her called SHIKI, she is still in a very weak and vulnerable state.<br>

Realizing that, I felt like my heart was being squeezed.<br>

The Shiki that came out of her sleep of two years was more stable than before, so I had been thinking she was okay. But Shiki was still lonely, no different from back then when it seemed like she could be hurt at any moment.<br>

I haven't changed either. Even today, I feel that I can't leave Shiki alone like that.<br>

... That's right. Although I couldn't do anything two years ago.<br>

If something were to happen again, then this time at least I must save her.<br>