Editing Mahou Sensou:Volume 1 Prologue

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This light emanated from several small spheres floating around her like balls of flame.
 
This light emanated from several small spheres floating around her like balls of flame.
   
Radiating a soft yellowish light, the three spheres dipped and bobbed as they followed her every movement.
+
Radiating a soft, yellowish light, the three spheres dipped and bobbed as they followed her every movement.
   
Responding to her call the young man turned his head to gaze back at her. He like she, was similarly shadowed by three spheres of light.
+
Responding to her call, the young man turned his head to gaze back at her. He, like she, was similarly shadowed by three spheres of light.
   
These however glowed eerily with a pale white light.
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These, however, glowed eerily with a pale white light.
   
 
He coldly turned to face her, clothed not in the uniform she was accustomed to seeing, but rather in a white shirt and jeans.
 
He coldly turned to face her, clothed not in the uniform she was accustomed to seeing, but rather in a white shirt and jeans.
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As Mui neared the youth, reaching for his arm, a sharp pain flashed across her cheek.
 
As Mui neared the youth, reaching for his arm, a sharp pain flashed across her cheek.
   
Before she knew what had happened she found herself on the ground.
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Before she knew what had happened, she found herself on the ground.
   
 
"...Nii-, Nii-san..."
 
"...Nii-, Nii-san..."
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"...Nii-san?"
 
"...Nii-san?"
   
Mui, however looked up tentatively with hope.
+
Mui, however, looked up tentatively with hope.
   
 
Unfortunately, the sneer filling her brother's face, an expression she'd never before seen him wear, quickly replaced any such feelings with despair.
 
Unfortunately, the sneer filling her brother's face, an expression she'd never before seen him wear, quickly replaced any such feelings with despair.
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Teardrops traced the angry red lines her brother had left on her cheek.
 
Teardrops traced the angry red lines her brother had left on her cheek.
   
Seeing Mui in this state the youth's irritation turned impetuous.
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Seeing Mui in this state, the youth's irritation turned impetuous.
   
 
With hate-filled eyes he drew his saber from its leather scabbard at his waist, and pressed its point between her eyes.
 
With hate-filled eyes he drew his saber from its leather scabbard at his waist, and pressed its point between her eyes.
   
"Are you going to kill me?" Mui asked her eyes still moist with tears.
+
"Are you going to kill me?" Mui asked, her eyes still moist with tears.
   
 
"I won't kill you. Your abilities, after all, are needed by we <Trailers>. Don't misunderstand, though; I could kill you without the slightest hesitation. And you call someone like that your brother?"
 
"I won't kill you. Your abilities, after all, are needed by we <Trailers>. Don't misunderstand, though; I could kill you without the slightest hesitation. And you call someone like that your brother?"
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"Yes, I'll never give up. I'll do whatever it takes to return you to normal."
 
"Yes, I'll never give up. I'll do whatever it takes to return you to normal."
   
At any moment the saber's tip might pierce on through.
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At any moment, the saber's tip might pierce on through.
   
However she'd sooner die here to his blade than abandon him.
+
However, she'd sooner die here to his blade than abandon him.
   
 
"Nii-san, I beg you! Come back with me!"
 
"Nii-san, I beg you! Come back with me!"
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Mui's desperate cries were covered up by an earsplitting thunder, the sound coming from the depths of the tunnel behind the young man.
 
Mui's desperate cries were covered up by an earsplitting thunder, the sound coming from the depths of the tunnel behind the young man.
   
It couldn't possibly have been a train however.
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It couldn't possibly have been a train, however.
   
 
The station the two found themselves in was abandoned like some desolate subterranean temple, and power had long since been cut.
 
The station the two found themselves in was abandoned like some desolate subterranean temple, and power had long since been cut.
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As Mui calculated her chances, yet another motorcycle silently appeared from the other side. She'd been caught in an ambush.
 
As Mui calculated her chances, yet another motorcycle silently appeared from the other side. She'd been caught in an ambush.
   
Once more she called out for her brother.
+
Once more, she called out for her brother.
   
 
"Nii-san!"
 
"Nii-san!"

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