Editing Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume8 Chapter8 3

===<noinclude>Spring Breeze. </noinclude>Part 3===

"What are you doing?"

When I stepped into the room, the atmosphere momentarily turned to ice. But my two friends, Youko and Eriko, rallied and smiled as they shrugged.

"What ever could she mean?"

"I know, right?"

But given the situation, their feigned innocence was most definitely not charming.

"I thought today's meeting was "canceled due to external circumstances.""

I reached back and closed the door behind me. Not a single angry word until it was in place.

Their plan must have been to get the nuisance out of the way by politely informing me of this during recess.

"The meeting is canceled. Eriko and I remained here on personal business."

"Like we often do, right? Is there something about it that displeases you?"

"Everything about it displeases me."

I threw Eriko's words back at her and walked over to the table.

Everything about it displeases me.

That they went behind my back and secretly called a first-year here, and that they were trying to get her to do something. And that the first-year happened to be Toudou Shimako.

"But first there's something I want to ask you two. Why is it that you've invited this guest here?"

I was attempting to be as calm as possible, but I couldn't stop a bit of my anger from spilling into my words.

"Guest? Ah, you mean Toudou Shimako-san?"

Youko muttered, being painfully obvious. Even if I'd been fine with the name, the superfluous exposition was enough to get me angry all over again.

"I thought Toudou Shimako-san might become an assistant to the Yamayurikai."

"… What?"

Eriko pulled out the chair next to Shimako, offering it to me, but my agitation was reaching a peak as I remained standing and shouted:

"Aren't you going to stop your damn meddling!?"

My voice was louder than I'd expected. I could feel it echoing around the room.

When the reverberations of my voice had completely stopped, Youko said coldly:

"What meddling? This has nothing to do with you, right?"

The calm attitude of my friend, as though in direct contrast to my own, was the most galling thing I had ever seen.

"Like hell it doesn't."

I shouted in irritation.

"Why would you think that, I wonder."

Youko remained sitting, fingers interlaced, and looked up at me. Eriko wasn't going to interrupt, having watched Youko and I face off countless times before. Unaccustomed to this, and not knowing what to do, Shimako looked uncomfortable as she sat in silence.

"Why would you think that?"

Youko asked, once more. It looked as though she was going to persist in playing dumb.

"The other day, I had a careless slip of the tongue and spoke the name of a first-year student in front of you. Then you invited that person to the Rose Mansion, keeping it a secret from me. There's no way it's just a coincidence."

"A slip of the tongue?"

Youko grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"Like your slip of the tongue just before?"

Hearing this, I immediately thought, "Damn it." But it was too late. A crack opened up in the meager amount of pride that I'd scraped together after losing it all a few months ago. Immediately, I calculated which course of action would cause the least damage. In this instance, to keep the damage to a minimum, I had to pretend to not notice my crumbling pride.

"Get out."

I ordered Shimako.

"Huh?"

"You. Can't you hear? Get out of this room right now."

"But."

Shimako looked perplexed as I faced her and shouted, almost in tears, "Please, just get out."

"Do as she says."

Youko said, and Eriko led Shimako out of the room. I finally calmed down after the door had closed and I heard the sounds of two people walking down the staircase.

" … Thanks."

I expressed my honest gratitude for Shimako's removal. This way, she wouldn't see my failure. It was odd, but I was resigned to Youko seeing the ugly side of me. Maybe it was because I knew it was pointless trying to put up a facade, ever since she saw me when I'd been torn to shreds.

"Is she really that important a person to you?"

"I don't know."

To calm myself down, I washed my face in the sink.

I hadn't really thought about what Shimako was to me. But what I did know was that I didn't want Youko saying what was in my heart in front of Shimako. Probably because, no matter the topic, the answer Youko pulled out would be right for me.

"You said that I'd made a slip of the tongue."

I turned around and questioned Youko, and she nodded, "Yes."

"By a slip of the tongue, I meant you said something you shouldn't have. Even you must have noticed it. That is, why couldn't you call that first-year by her name? Because you consider her special, different to all the other first-years, right?"

I smiled, would you look at that. That Youko could analyze my heart so accurately. 

I went back to the sink and turned the tap off, thinking that I should put a stop to the conversation before it got even more unpleasant. But nothing could make my anger subside, so I briskly turned back to Youko.

"In that case, so what?"

"So what?"

Youko asked as she held out a handkerchief to me. I refused it, and closed in on her, water sheeting off my face and hands.

"Even if I do have special feelings for Toudou Shimako, that's no reason for you to try and drag her into the Yamayurikai."

"I know, but."

"But nothing."

On impulse, I raised my right hand up in the air. If I brought it down, it would score a direct hit on Youko's cheek.

She had adequate time to get out of the way. But Youko wouldn't avoid it. Nor would I strike her. The palm of my hand came to a stop right next to her face.

We stood there looking right at each other for a short while. I was the one who finished it by looking away.

"Don't do this sort of thing without telling me."

Left hand tightly grasping my right, I turned away. Then Youko's hand gently touched my shoulder.

"Sei."

Youko's hand was warm. But I was a weak, half-hearted individual who could neither find solace in her touch nor shake off her hand.

"You know, even now I still have my regrets."

Youko said, maintaining the same position.

"About what happened with you and Shiori-san."

My body reacted when it heard the name Shiori. I jumped forward, flicking off Youko's hand, then turning around and coming to a stop with my back against the table.

"Don't talk about Shiori."

It would probably be better if I could forget, but I didn't want to. She was someone I couldn't forget. To me, Kubo Shiori was Christ.

"No. In this situation, I want you to hear. I was hurt by it, although obviously nowhere near as much as you. You call it meddling, but I think it would have been better if I'd meddled even more. Even now, I think that if I had, then maybe you and Shiori-san could have been happy as soeurs."

"A petit soeur."

I snorted. What a joke. Youko had said the exact same thing a year before.

"Soeurs come in all different shapes. No matter how your relationship with Shiori would have ended, at least you could have had two years worth of happy memories at high-school. That's why."

"That's why, what?"

Smiling, I looked into Youko's eyes. I was certain I was looking my most malicious.

"You thought you'd give me Toudou Shimako, to play the make-believe game of sisters that I couldn't with Shiori?"

"You're wrong."

Youko said, scowling at me.

"I know you don't plan on taking a petit soeur. And that's fine, I think. I don't know and I don't care who they make Rosa Gigantea after you. You're more important than that. I just have this compulsion towards things you see as a burden."

"I won't do it. Leave Toudou Shimako out of it."

"Yeah, you're right. But."

"But?"

I asked. I'd regained a bit of my composure during our conversation.

"Honestly, I was surprised."

Youko said quietly.

"By what?"

"Back when you let Toudou Shimako's name slip, you had the same expression as when you first mentioned Kubo Shiori. I wasn't even thinking about her as a replacement. Just that you wanted to get involved with other people once more."

"Involved, huh."

With the exception of Shiori, I've never wanted anyone. While I'm grateful for my graduated onee-sama, I never wanted to be her petit soeur. And I already have Youko, Eriko, and their petit soeurs around me. Surely there's no need for any more relationships beyond those.

Youko looked down, and continued.

"In truth, I was shocked when I saw Shimako-san."

"… She's nothing like Shiori."

I refuted the allegation ahead of time. It was upsetting to think of Shiori's features overlapping Shimako's.

"Obviously. I could tell you weren't seeing the shadow of Shiori-san inside Shimako-san."

Not only had Youko guessed my feelings, she'd also put them into words.

"Then, what?"

"That girl. She's like you."

"Like me?"

I couldn't believe my ears. What on earth did Shimako and I have in common? But if that was what Youko thought, then maybe it was true. 

Shimako and I had met in the cherry blossom blizzard beneath the Yoshino cherry trees. At that time, looking at her had felt like I was seeing myself in a mirror.

What had she been doing back then? And why had I gone to that spot?

"I won't tell you in what way. Because if I did, this time you really might hit me."

As she said this, Youko started preparing to go home. Did that mean that the conversation was over?  Or had she simply decided that the conversation would take a turn for the worse if it continued? She methodically cleaned the cups we'd used and wiped the table clean. Indeed, now that we'd both said what we wanted to say, I needed some time alone to think.

"The parts that are similar, they're my weaknesses, right?"

Had I asked this because I wanted to detain her? Youko was carrying Eriko's bag as well as her own belongings.

"Yeah."

In front of the brown door, Youko answered, turning back to look at me.

"But I like your weaknesses too."

"I hate your strong points, you know."

"I know."

Smiling masochistically, Youko opened the door.

"Even I don't like them."