Editing Talk:Dai Densetsu no Yūsha no Densetsu:Volume 2 Chapter 4

Hey Tennyo here! Here are some of the more major questions and/or things I changed in this chapter:

On P. 225: Sion responds to Lucile with "Then." Should this be "Good." or "Alright."? I was a little confused on this.

::here the text is "じゃあ", Sion is actually saying "let's get on with this" / "let's get back to what we were doing" with a simple "Well" / "Then" / "So", along those lines. Your proposed substitutions are fine, if they sound better, even if they are loose translations, it's not that important here, so it's fine. If if you can come up something better, please feel free, but I think keeping it curt here is important. --[[User:Larethian|Larethian]] 08:52, 11 February 2011 (UTC)

Alright, will do. --[[User:Tennyo777|Tennyo777]] 04:08, 14 February 2011 (UTC)


P. 231: Last lines- Does "A stupid order along those lines." belong with the Ryner side or the Sion side? Also, I put a break in between their scenes. Since, it didn't have one, but did you mean to leave it out? 

::this is Ryner's. I've already fixed the break. --[[User:Larethian|Larethian]] 08:52, 11 February 2011 (UTC)


P. 234: Last line- Keifer says ".I , towards Ryner...". I wasn't to sure of the meaning of this so I changed it to '"I..." she turned toward Ryner.'. Since that's what I thought it was trying to imply. I will change it back if this is incorrect.

::Kiefer wants to say, "I xxxxxxxxxxxx Ryner". She wants to express her feelings, of even possibly confess again. But Japanese ordering is "SOV - subject object verb", so Ryner comes first. Two reasons why I kept the Japanese ordering is (1) I have no idea what Kiefer wants to say exactly, so I can't guess and substitute the xxxxxxxxx, (2) if I make a guess, will it be a sufficient clue for Ferris to interject next? But on the other hand because of Japanese sentence ordering, "I, (to/at/towards/for/etc.) Ryner...", it's easy to guess what kind of thing she wants to say. If you have better format, or a reasonable guess, please feel free. --[[User:Larethian|Larethian]] 08:52, 11 February 2011 (UTC)

Hmmm...this is a this a tough one since it cut off at just that point.... is it within reason to put "For Ryner I...."?--[[User:Tennyo777|Tennyo777]] 04:19, 14 February 2011 (UTC)


P. 264: Line 7- Changed "deep in concentration" to "deep in thought". Mostly because, even though it isn't technically wrong, "deep in concentration" isn't an expression that is commonly used in English. Plus, concentration mostly denotes focus, rather than mental process... if that makes sense.   I changed this somewhere a little earlier in the chapter as well.

::ok. --[[User:Larethian|Larethian]] 08:52, 11 February 2011 (UTC)


P. 272: Line 3- Ryner line ".Even not so,". I changed this to "Even if we didn't,", but I was unsure of this one as well.

::Yup yup, means --> "even if we don't catch a cold" --[[User:Larethian|Larethian]] 08:52, 11 February 2011 (UTC)


P. 275: After Keifer and Ferris had responded "Yes!" and "Nope!" and Ryner is walking away there is a line that says "...Ferris and Kiefer were looking this way at him...". This is another one I was not to sure on. So I put " Ferris and Kiefer were looking strangely at him...". Or, should it be "...looking his way..."? The meaning of the original sentence doesn't come across well in English.

:: Kagami uses both first and semi-third person narration style BUT only in a character's POV (point of view). The story tellers are always from a character in the story. Every segment has one and only one POV. A break in the novel indicates changing either of POV or flashbacks & recollections. You will never find changing POVs in the same segments. <br/><br/>Let me just go through volume 2 as example with semi-colons as breaks: <br/>chapter 1: Ferris POV; Froaude's POV <br/>chapter 2: Ryner's POV; Milk's POV <br/>chapter 3: Kiefer's POV; recollection of a story from neutral POV; Kiefer's POV <br/>chapter 4: Sion's POV; Ryner's POV; Claugh's POV<br/><br/>That's why his directional particles/prepositions fit based on that. Indeed it may be less evident in English. I think the confusion started because I didn't realize this initially and I use pronouns freely assuming always third person. Man, this might be difficult. But I say leave this for now.  <br/><br/>--[[User:Larethian|Larethian]] 08:59, 11 February 2011 (UTC)

I see your point. This is a difficult one.--[[User:Tennyo777|Tennyo777]] 04:19, 14 February 2011 (UTC)