Editing Talk:Haruhi Theater act.1

== #1 ==

Usually if I see a guy who referred to her in such a manner, I would call an ambulance concealing the sorriness for him [ED note- this part is unclear]

I mean "Usually if I see a guy who referred to her in such a manner, I would call an ambulance (because I thought he went crazy or he had some problems with his brain) concealing the sorriness for him(=pitying/sympathizing him/he went crazy)"

So, I think "Usually if I see a guy who referred to her in such a manner, I would pityingly call an ambulance" might be more understandable. Does this sentence make sense?

--[[User:An Engrish speaker|An Engrish speaker]] 22:37, 16 June 2007 (PDT)

Your revision makes a lot more sense, but it is sort of awkwardly worded. I think we should change it to something like: "Usually, if I saw a guy referring to her like that, I'd call an ambulance for him out of pity".
--[[User:Pxstg|Pxstg]] 07:10, 17 June 2007 (PDT) 

== #2 ==

"you turned in your scantron answer sheets with all the answers mismatched with the questions!"

I came up with a translation closer to the original meaning:
"you turned in your scantron answer sheets with all your answers off by one!"

What I meant was "You marked up answers all off by one by mistake, and you handed in the scantron answer sheets without noticing the mistake" (I wrote the sentence interpreting the original sentence more explanatorily.) I think Haruhi meant to indicate his offer was stupid as well as wrong, by comparing the offer to answer sheets with all the answers off by one.

Will a new translation go with what I want to say?


--[[User:An Engrish speaker|An Engrish speaker]] 22:39, 16 June 2007 (PDT)

It's dificult to word without making it sound really awkward, but here's what I came up with: "You're so wrong, it's as if you mismatched all the answers on your scantron answer sheet by skipping one question, and handed it in without noticing!"

--[[User:Pxstg|Pxstg]] 07:39, 17 June 2007 (PD


== #3 ==

"Asahina-san, who was so adorable that even if I had her in my eye, I would stand for the pain in the eye for a week. [ED note- another fairly unclear part]"


Original :"俺が目に入れて飼えるなら痛いのも一週間は我慢するだろうと思うくらいに愛らしい、朝比奈さん"

My literal tl. :"Asahina-san, who was so cute. So even if I could literally keep her in my eye, I would tolerate the pain the eye"

I tried to translate the part literally without thinking of language differences between Japanese and English and ended up with the mess.

It originally was a pun for a Japanese idiom: "(彼女は)目に入れても痛くないほどかわいい" (=(explanatory tl.) (She) is so cute. So even if you have her in your eye, you don't feel the pain in the eye( because what you have in your eye is none other than her.))

I think the idiom would be close to "cavity-causing sweetness". 

Then I came up with another translation "Asahina-san, whose sweetness can cause me cavaties, but as the cause was her, I could tolerate the pain for a week" 

I think it makes sense and be close to the original without spoiling the pun used in the original, doesn't it? Do you have any more understandable and less spoiling alternatives?


--[[User:An Engrish speaker|An Engrish speaker]] 22:40, 16 June 2007 (PDT)

I think it makes sense to change it into a metaphor that is understandable in English and retains the basic meaning at the cost of losing the literal translation. However, in this instance the focus is really on sight, the sentence begins with him fending off Haruhi's glance by turning away. The metaphor is a continuation of that focus on which way Kyon is looking and is meant to contrast with when he's looking at Haruhi. 

Now that I understand the meaning though, I think it might be possible to come up with a coherent translation. Maybe, something like, "Hence, I faced the other way as if fending off her glance, where I saw was the confused face of Asahina-san. She was so adorable that even if I kept her in my eye for a week, I could endure the pain of her sitting in there."

I think it might also help to add a translator's note to help clarify later on.

--[[User:Pxstg|Pxstg]] 10:39, 17 June 2007 (PDT)