Editing Talk:Madan no Ou to Vanadis:Volume 09 Chapter 2

Setsuna, I'm going to try and point this out again and if you're adamant about it then I'll overlook it in the future but "floated a smile" sounds weird, why not just "smiled" or "gave a smile". Also "drop-out" soldiers sounds like deserting soldiers to me. [[User:Kuratatsu|Kuratatsu]] ([[User talk:Kuratatsu|talk]]) 10:53, 11 June 2014 (CDT)

Just "smile" will be good when there are no adjective (gentle smile or difficult smiel). How about "revealed a smile"? As for "Drop-pout", which word do you should replace it? [[User:Setsuna86|Setsuna86]] ([[User talk:Setsuna86|talk]]) 14:16, 11 June 2014 (CDT)

'gave a smile'. Also for 'drop-out', why not 'deserting'. Drop-out sounds too... related to studies. I have encountered that word when talking about education. --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] ([[User talk:Chancs|talk]]) 14:37, 11 June 2014 (CDT)

"Revealed a smile" also sounds great, anything but floated really, while for dropout I'd recommend using deserting. To be honest, that last document that I sent you had all these stuff fixed already and more but I guess you didn't noticed it. [[User:Kuratatsu|Kuratatsu]] ([[User talk:Kuratatsu|talk]]) 19:47, 11 June 2014 (CDT)
@@ Line 5: / Line 5: @@
 'gave a smile'. Also for 'drop-out', why not 'deserting'. Drop-out sounds too... related to studies. I have encountered that word when talking about education. --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] ([[User talk:Chancs|talk]]) 14:37, 11 June 2014 (CDT)
+"Revealed a smile" also sounds great, anything but floated really, while for dropout I'd recommend using deserting. To be honest, that last document that I sent you had all these stuff fixed already and more but I guess you didn't noticed it. [[User:Kuratatsu|Kuratatsu]] ([[User talk:Kuratatsu|talk]]) 19:47, 11 June 2014 (CDT)
-Original : Whenever it counted five hundred soldiers, the Bydgauche army stopped once. Not to take a rest. But only to adjust their lines and quietly take a deep breath. And then, they advanced again.
-Suggested Change 1: Whenever it counted five hundred soldiers, the Bydgauche army stopped once. Not to take a rest''', b'''ut only to adjust their lines and quietly take a deep breath. And then, they advanced again.
-Suggested Change 2: Whenever it counted five hundred soldiers, the Bydgauche army stopped once. Not to take a rest''', b'''ut only to adjust their lines and quietly take a deep breath''', a'''nd then, they advanced again.
-I believe that there a missing comma that needs to be exchanged for a period.