Editing Talk:PuiPui:Volume1 Chapter1

== Discussion ==

with the "kettle" i believe most people would know what a "magic" lamp looks like, FYI its an oil lamp, this would also make more sense in line with the theme of the book unless they aren't meant to know what the lamp is yet...

[[User:Speerous|Speerous]]

''Hmmm, I see your point, and actually, it makes alot of sense. The only thing I can think of, is the word "lamp" is too much of a give away....but if it was "oil lamp" giving it another purpose, that could actually really help with it's description. The manga Shadow is translating, shows the lamp in it's images, so it is kind of a give away ^_^. And the part I just translated too....I think yeah, we should at least know it's an "oil lamp." Anybody out there want to go through the text and edit it for this? change any "kettle" sections, to "oil lamp?" (be careful, Nicolai uses a teakettle, of russian style, when making Sierra's tea, that really is a kettle :). But yeah, if someone wants to change it, go for it. 
''
[[User:Seaghyn16|Krikit]] 09:17, 28 September 2008 (PDT)


"a dull golden shining object."

An object can't be both dull and shining at the same time, lol. An error on the authors part?

I like the oil lamp solution. The changes have been made.

[[User:Akirasav|Akirasav]] 18:00, 28 September 2008 (PDT)

taking into account that the guy is an archiologist nut, i'm fairly sure he'd know what an oil lamp looks like, but if the author wants it as a kettle it can be a kettle

''Also, I've noticed in my further translations, that it seems to be called a "water pitcher/vessel/container/etc", instead of a "lamp." That is, until Sierra's father calls it a "lamp" specifically. So in the end, I'm wondering if it should be made to be "water xxxxx" instead of "lamp," until Sierra's dad calls it a lamp, because that's the first time it is actually referred to as a "lamp."''

[[User:Seaghyn16|Krikit]] 09:16, 30 September 2008 (PDT)

Fixed. 

FYI Krikit, there were a couple instances in the new text where the was a split in the middle of the paragraph. Its not really much trouble for me to press the delete key twice, but I figured you'd want to know in case you had some kind bad typing habit. 

[[User:Akirasav|Akirasav]] 14:25, 30 September 2008 (PDT)

''Thanks Akira ;). As for my bad typing habit, I just noticed problems with copying text over from notepad to the wiki. For some reason, it re-formats my paragraphs and stuff, and I do miss a few ;)''

[[User:Seaghyn16|Krikit]] 20:56, 30 September 2008 (PDT)

Are all the instances of 'magic maid' 'Magic Maid' 'maid of magic' correct? Each has a different meaning.  I just want to make sure.

For the 'abzurd', I would suggest using the invisible notes.  <!-- --> rather than the link.

[[User:Akirasav|Akirasav]] 14:33, 7 October 2008 (PDT)

''Thanks for pointing this out. I've gone back and changed it for the text. I got rid of "maid of magic" and just put the two sentences as "magic maid." (Lower Case). The next sentence I went from "I don't want to be a magic maid" to "I don't want to be some kind of maid who uses magic..." because the text talks about using magic, I thought the feel would be lost by just saying "magic maid," plus it's different from the other two examples. I think it works a bit better now. anyway, I'm' not about 71% done. I slowed down a bit recently thanks to some school work, but I'm hoping to get another 2 pages out today.''

--[[User:Seaghyn16|Krikit]] 03:12, 9 October 2008 (PDT)

I am just a casual reader on here, and saw a couple mistakes. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to come in here and post without permission, so if I'm not, just delete this, and I won't do it again.

'"Anyway, just take that ring to a pawnshop and trade it for some money, after that just start being thrifty."
"PAWNSHOP! SAVING!"' -This seems like it should have said "PAWNSHOP! THRIFTY!" I don't know the original text, but it seems as if she is repeating the two words he said earlier. Another option could be to change it to "...just start saving." and leave the "PAWNSHOP! SAVING!" alone

'"Apart from you daughter, for an adult to have that kind of tone, it really annoys me."' -Should it be "Apart from your daughter"? Typo?

'"You're young still. Just blow off the rules the adults have!"' -"You're still young..." sounds more natural, but maybe the strange wording was intentional?

[[User:chickenwing71x|chickenwing71x]] 14:49, 10 October 2008 (EST)

chickenwing71x,

For small changes like all the ones you suggested, feel free to make the change yourself.  We can see the changes, so there's no problem. I definitely agree with all your suggestions.  The discussion page can be used for major changes. Basically just use your best judgment.

Krikit, some suggestions:

'the wife'

I realize that the literal translation is 'the wife', but a husband would use 'my wife' in English. It does change the meaning slightly, but sounds more natural.

'Jin hid the picture of his shock.'

I know what this is trying to convey, but there's probably a better way to say it.

[[User:Akirasav|Akirasav]] 14:56, 11 October 2008 (PDT)
 

''Chickenwing, thanks for pointing those out. I miss stuff too ^_^. As for the "Pawnshop! Saving! part, I decided to change it from "Just start saving" to "just start being thrifty." (the reason was because thrifty = wise spending, where as saving = no spending. But I forgot to change it in the next sentence O_o. anyway, yeah, feel free to make corrections. That's what the wiki's for ^_^. Also, Akira...as for "the wife" and "my wife..." hmm, yeah, let's go with the change :) ''

[[User:Seaghyn16|Krikit]]