Editing Talk:Saiunkoku Monogatari:Volume 1 Prologue

I'm not exactly sure which edits I want to do are considered major or not, so I thought I'd ask about them here. But thanks to whoever translated this - I liked the anime and what little of the manga I've been able to read and it'd be nice if I can finally get further in the story.

paragraph 4: change to either '...and sincerely prayed ... while continuing...' or '..and sincerely praying ... continued...' If I remember my grammar lessons right, the -ing verbs are gerunds and therefore in the original both clauses are subordinate when one needs to be a main clause in order to complete the sentence.

Prologue paragraph 4: change to either '...has already been on the throne for half a year.' or '...has already ascended the throne half a year ago.' 

Prologue paragraph 8-9: The first sentence in paragraph 9 is a partial sentence and belongs with the dialogue line in paragraph 8. I'm not sure how best to format it though, because the although dialogue sounds best with the ending '!?', it doesn't flow into the dialogue tag very well. Maybe switching them around would work: 'An old court minister of state roared resentfully, “Rubbish! What kind of trend is that!?”'

Prologue paragraph 13: change '...ministers of state, but with a worried look...' to '...ministers of state, but he had a worried look...' Otherwise the subject of the second part can be a bit confusing.


There's no need to post your edits here. Simply do the edits on the page itself. If seemed unnecessary or if there is a mistake other editors will again edit it. --[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] ([[User talk:Chancs|talk]]) 23:37, 3 October 2012 (CDT)