Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume4 The Fourth Question

The Fourth Question

Please fill in the correct answer into the blank provided.

“The force that combines molecules in liquids and solids is called ( ).”

Mizuki Himeji’s answer:

“(Van der Waals) force.”

Teacher’s comment:

“Correct. It is also known as intermolecular force. Please mind that Van der Waals force is easily confused with Coulomb’s force.”

Tsuchiya Kouta’s answer:

“(Wandervogel)[1] force.”

Teacher’s comment:

At least you still have some idea what the answer sounds like. Unfortunately, the answer is not the force of climbing mountains, but the force between molecules.

Yoshii Akihisa’s answer:

“(Work) force”

Teacher’s comment:

I don’t hate your answer.

“When will you failures end, you useless garbage?”

I felt like crying.

“Sakamoto-kun, what did you mean by saying that we failed?”

Once we were back in class F, we gathered at Yuuji’s seat. Yuuji, the main organizer of the Summoning War against Class D, seemed to have finished his job. And he was just sitting there, sighing while shaking his head.

“You still dare to talk?! Because you ran away at the last minute, you idiot, all our efforts are in vain now. Now, nobody will think that Shimada and Akihisa are in a relationship.”

Yuuji then hit my head with a rolled-up script.

Muu......I was thinking about my beet red wrist at that moment, and didn’t even know what happened. Did my acting skill really suck?

“I’d say, the only good news is that Shimada looks as if she harbors affection for Yoshii…… but this alone won’t be enough to cause that Shimizu to freak out.”

Hideyoshi, who was standing beside Yuuji, let out a sigh. If it was just Yuuji alone saying it, I wouldn’t have minded, but now that even Hideyoshi said that, then it must be true. Damn it, we failed again……

“Even if you want to have another go, Shimada is still quite pissed off, and you even happily came back to class together with Himeji......”

I turned my head to look at Minami’s seat, which was pretty far from Yuuji’s, but Minami just let out a “Hmmph” and looked away when she noticed me. It’s over for me; she looks mad.

“I…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone back to class together with Akihisa-kun, it would have been weird if Minami-chan and Akihisa-kun were having a relationship for real……”

“Actually, there shouldn’t be any problem since both of you are classmates....I’d think that the real problem was that Akihisa dumped Shimada, and then you two came back for now. Ignoring what others think, Shimada’s thoughts are obvious, right?”

Although it was all just an act, I, who was acting as Minami’s boyfriend, came back to class with Himeji-san instead, so this must’ve hurt Minami’s pride. I’ve never meant for that to happen all along……

“Never mind that, Akihisa, you should apologize to Shimada.”

Yuuji pointed at her direction with his chin.

Yuuji’s right. Minami was angry at me all along. She agreed to act with me even though she was reluctant, and I embarrassed her in the end. This must’ve been very unreasonable to her. I should really apologize to her.

“You’re right. I’ll apologize to her now.”

I stood up and walk towards Minami’s seat.

Although I had good intentions, it still couldn’t change the fact that I hurt her.

“Minami, about that……”

I stuttered to Minami, who was unhappy and gazing outside the window.

“……What do you want?”

She might have replied, but she still wouldn’t look at me. She stared at me from the corner of her eye for only a moment.

“About that, I’m really sorry.”

I still couldn’t raise my head even though I knew that she was looking elsewhere. She still wouldn’t look at me, not even once.

“I don’t want to bother you anymore. Don’t you prefer hanging out with Mizuki?”

“No, it was just a coincidence that I met Himeji-san at the corridor.”

“I don’t want to listen to your excuses.”

“Uu……”

Damn, I’m already out of ideas.

It has to be done like this; I can only use Hideyoshi’s lines to convince her.

“But, if it continues like this, Himeji-san will……”

She might be forced to transfer – I wanted to say it, but Minami suddenly stared at me sharply.

“……It’s always Mizuki, Mizuki, why are you always like this?”

“Mi…Minami?”

“Why do you always treat her like a princess?! Then what am I? Do you treat me as a guy? Why do you always treat me like this?!”

I’ve never seen Minami this angry before, and she even said so much in one shot.

“I, I never meant that……”

“If Mizuki really needs to transfer out, then I’ll talk to her parents myself. Stop bugging me now, I don’t want to see you anymore!”

After saying this, she turned her head away.

Seems that, no matter how hard I try, she wouldn’t look at me again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t do it on purpose.”

I bowed down to apologize again, and I then returned to where everyone was.

They looked at me, their faces implying “even you can’t do anything.”

“She’s really pissed off……”

“I’d feel the same way.”

Hideyoshi and the gang must’ve heard my conversation with Minami.

“I’m sorry, I’ll apologize to her again……”

“……Wait until her anger recedes first.”

“Uh huh, Muttsurini is right. If Akihisa and Himeji aren’t careful, it’ll make Shimada even angrier.”

“Really, you……wait for her to calm down, Akihisa. You have to settle the problem between you and Shimada.”

“Un, I will.”

I really did a lot of cruel things to Minami today….

“Let’s put this matter aside for now. If this continues, Class D won’t declare a Summoning War with us no matter how long we wait. That’s why we have to improvise.”

After changing the topic, Yuuji’s expression is as attentive and cool as ever. Leaving Minami’s rage aside for now, our Class F is at a disadvantage.

I’m really concerned about how Minami’s feeling now, I should pay attention to Yuuji’s question.

“Muttsurini, what is the situation report of Class B”?

“……Three quarters of their class have already replenished their points, and a small portion has already prepared for declaration of war.”

“I see……They’re faster than expected. I think they’re serious this time.”

“……They were replenishing their points even during their breaks.”

They even used their noon breaks and other breaks to do the tests. This means that they’re going to finish replenishing their points. It’s just a matter of time before Class B declares a Summoning War against us.

“We need to buy ourselves more time before setting the trap for Class D. Muttsurini, please deliver the false reports with Sugawa.”

“……What will it be about?”

“Just say that Class D is getting ready for a Summoning War and they’re targeting Class B.”

“……Understood.”

After seeing Muttsurini nod, I still couldn’t understand Yuuji’s real intentions. How would we benefit from this if we deliver false reports of Class D’s imminent declaration of war against Class B?

“Yuuji, why are you doing this?”

“It’s just to buy us some time. If Class B realizes that they are getting attacked by Class D, they'll try avoiding other upcoming battles. They’ll think twice before declaring war on us.”

I see. If Class B declares war against us, it means they’ll be hard-pressed to participate in the next battle, so they’ll have to keep a tight watch on Class D’s movements. The preparations they made to fight against us might be wasted on their war against Class D.

“My actual plan was to let Class C attack them.”

“But Class C lost their last Summoning War against Class A.”

Unfortunately, Class C shares the same conditions with us, so they can’t declare Summoning Wars. Thus, it can’t be helped.

“Oh, Muttsurini, you can just spread a little part of the false reports. Leave the rest to Sugawa since I have another important mission for you.”

“……Understood.”

Muttsurini finished speaking and walked towards Sugawa. Sugawa has experience with delivering false reports, so both of them can probably accomplish their mission perfectly.

“Good, next is Hideyoshi.”

“Oh, what do you want me to do?”

“I’d like you to lure our Class D's Shimizu for negotiations. Can you do this?”

“I don’t mind…..but what are the negotiations for?”

“Just do as you see fit. Our only aim is to provoke Shimizu and increase their enmity towards our class. If she falls for it, we’ll be successful and the other way around if she don’t, it’s this simple.”

Shimizu-san is the core figure of Class D. Although Yuuji didn’t say much, this negotiation is crucial to our Class F’s future plans.

“Oh, and to lure out Shimizu……I have to bring Shimada with me, right?”

“Right, it’s easier to provoke them this way. And mind you, things may go awry if they re to meet face-to-face, but you can leave that to me.”

I glanced at Minami again, and she’s still looking out the window with the same pose. I couldn’t see her expression from here, but I could feel the anger seeping out from her.

In this situation, I don’t think I can provoke them with Minami. But, Yuuji probably have another idea to get this done.

“Oh, in this case, I’ll just have to try my best. I don’t think it’s realistic to assume that things will be back to normal, but it won’t be impossible to ask her to come with me to provoke Shimizu.”

I feel rather sorry that I am unable to do things right because of my impulsiveness……

“You can leave this to me. So, the negotiation will be held in an empty classroom, after school, is that alright?”

“Do it then. Before that, we’ll have to delay Class B from declaring war.”

“I understand.”

Hideyoshi stood up and left the classroom. Of course, he’s probably thinking of convincing Minami and hurry up and negotiate with D class.

And thus, only Yuuji, Minami and I were still in the class.

I was trying to come up with a plan, but Yuuji interrupted me with an irrelevant question.

“By the way, Akihisa……”

“Yeah?”

“What did you have for breakfast?”

What did I eat? Time is running out, so how can Yuuji still have the time to chat about breakfast?

“Yuuji, do we even have time to chat?”

“Never mind about that, just answer my question, it’s very important!”

My breakfast is important? What is he trying to say? I really can’t understand that guy.

I don’t think there’s anything to hide about this, so I answered him truthfully.

“Just water as usual.”

After hearing my answer, Yuuji suddenly gave an exaggerated expression like one of those foreigners on those night shopping channels.

“Just water? How can that do, Akihisa?! You are the key to this battle; you need to replenish your energy with real food. Right, Himeji?”

“Oh? That’s right. I was worried that Akihisa-kun never had an actual meal.”

What’s happening? This bastard Yuuji is suddenly concerned about my eating habits; that’s a little suspicious. I think there is an evil intention hiding behind that kindness, so I’m not being paranoid, am I?

“Perfect timing Himeji.”

“Huh?”

My sixth sense is telling me-- THIS GUY IS TRYING TO MURDER ME.

“Is there any food that you can give – ”

“As I was saying, I had toast and fried eggs for breakfast! Ahhh~ It really feels different when you have breakfast, I feel really energized.”

I chose to lie to avoid an imminent disaster. Himeji-san’s food cannot be eaten no matter what!

But unexpectedly, Yuuji’s ignoring my anxiousness as he even smiles at me and said,

“Nonono, I understand your manly attitude of not wanting to let Himeji worry, but you should not ignore her intentions, just tell her the truth.”

I don’t want to die. (This is the truth.)

But, I can’t bear to say such a painful truth; I remain silent with my mouth wide open. As I was thinking what to say next, Himeji-san says before I can do so.

“I’m sorry. Lunch break is over, so I don’t have any food left for Yoshii-kun.”

Himeji-san apologized a lot to me. To me, her reply made me really happy. This is great…..Damn great!

Although I don’t know what Yuuji is planning, I managed to foil his plans. Thinking of this, I’d like to see the frustration on that bastard’s face, as I was turning my head to look at him –

(Akihisa, you are too naive.)

Unexpectedly, he hinted at me with his eyes. What? What is this?

“Really? I guess you ran out of food then. I hope it isn’t too much trouble……but can you make some simple food for Akihisa?”

What’s next is Yuuji basically opening the door to Hell with his bare hands.

“……”

“Hey, Akihisa. Why am I the only one hearing you whispering ‘cook for me, cook for me’? You are a rather weird guy.”

You infidel!

What now? Is this my punishment? A death sentence? You are trying to take revenge on me with this evil trick just because of my failure just now?

“It’s ok, but about the ingredients……”

“Don’t worry, I borrowed (illegally) the culinary classroom’s key, the ingredients there are complete.”

Yuuji took out a key from his pocket while speaking.

This is an organized sin! Does he really hate me that much!?

“I understand. Akihisa-kun, what do you want to eat?”

Oblivious to my current emotions, she asked me with a smiling face.

What do I want to eat? Yes, if I make the right choice, the probability of me dying from food poisoning will be lower. I’ll just limit the ingredients. What dishes are there that can’t be poisoned……Then, I’ll choose omelet (Ingredients : Just eggs)!

“Erm, I’d like to eat……”

“You can have jelly then.”

Jelly (Ingredients : Not specific).

“……”

“What happened, Akihisa? You don’t have to look at me with such teary eyes like a Chihuahua that has been abandoned.”

“DON'T ABANDON ME! PLEASE, DON'T ABANDON ME, YUUJI!”

My one and only, precious life!

“Jelly? Ok then, I’ll put effort into making it!”

“Sorry for the trouble, it’ll be better if you can pack the jelly like a nutrition packet drink, I think the sports team should have some drink packets left inside the culinary classroom.”

The sports team frequently uses the culinary classroom to make nutrition drinks. I think that is what Yuuji meant. But I never wanted things to be this way.

“I’ll go prepare it now.”

“Ok, thanks again.”

“Sure.”

After taking the key from Yuuji, Himeji-san left the classroom.

“……Yuuji, what are you trying to do?”

I watch Himeji-san disappear from my sight, and then glare at Yuuji, who was standing still.

“I have no evil intentions at all; a part of my plan needs Himeji’s food to be involved.”

“Huh? Need her food?”

“That’s right.”

“What, if so, you should have told me sooner.”

I still don’t know what is happening, but since Yuuji’s intention wasn’t to punish me, this is great!

“Hey, it may be so, but I can’t guarantee that Himeji won’t force you to eat it.”

Correction, it’s simply bad news.

“I, I CAN’T LET HER DO THIS TO ME!”

I hurriedly stood up hurriedly and tried to chase her down.

“Akihisa, where are you going?”

“To chase her down, of course! At least I must see for myself what is she making!”

I’ve no idea what ingredient is she going to use. I think I should have an ambulance ready.

“If so, I’ll go with you, I’m also curious to find out how Himeji cooks.”

Yuuji has been endangered by her food more than once before. He must be curious how she prepares those murderous foods.

“Hahaha! Yuuji, you don’t have to be so courteous. You don’t actually just want to see it, you want to eat it too, right? It’s not too late; I’ll ask her to make your share.”

“Oh God, I don’t want to die yet.”

I don’t want to die too.

“Hahaha, thanks but no thanks……I’m serious.”

“Hahaha, there’s no need……I’m also serious.”

While chatting happily with Yuuji, we hasten out footsteps to catch up with Himeji-san.

We finally reached the culinary classroom after awhile. Himeji-san is probably preparing the ingredients inside.

“I’ll open the door then.”

“Open it.”

We pushed open the door stealthily to avoid being noticed by Himeji-san, trying to find out what is happening inside.

Himeji-san can be heard walking around the culinary classroom. I focused my eyesight to confirm what is happening at the cooking station.

Her preparations at the beginning seem rather normal to me.

Himeji-san took two bowls from the cupboard, and then added a few ingredients. One of them is gelatin, and the other should be sugar.

(What the hell, everything seems rather normal.)

(True. If she’s making jelly with these ingredients, there shouldn’t be any problem.)

(If so, I’ll be troubled.)

As I was thinking what there is to be troubled about, I heard Himeji-san muttering something to herself.

“I think……I’ll mix the cocoa powder with corn bisque powder first……”

And then something unbelievable happened.

(Hey, Yuuji! What is Himeji-san trying to do? What she is making now is far from jelly!)

(Akihisa, just shut up, or you’ll be caught by her.)

My idea of a food is starting to collapse. So horrifying, this is too horrifying.

“Should I add in mandarin or leek? I wonder which Akihisa-kun prefers.”

(STOP CONFUSING YOURSELF! DON’T BE CONFUSED BY THESE TWO CHOICES, HIMEJI-SAN!)

(I’m guessing that she’s making something very nutritional for you who can’t even afford bentos……She has completely ignored how bad it would taste.)

(HOW CAN THIS BE!? SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE CONCERNED, JUST NORMAL FOOD IS ENOUGH!)

She’s always thinking of making something like a feast, but that’s what makes us miserable.

“Then, the seasoning will be taba –”

(Akihisa, you can stop listening. You won’t dare to eat it.)

(Wait! At least let me know whether she added in “tobacco” or “Tabasco”[2]!)

Please! If you really want to add something, just add the spicy Tabasco to kill me with spicyness!

(There’s no time left, you don’t have to be stubborn at this point.)

(THIS CONCERNS MY LIFE AND DEATH HERE!!)

My resistance is in vain as Yuuji pulled me away by my collar.

This bastard! I’ll have him eat this murderous meal somehow!

“Now, we’ll go to the third floor of the school’s new building, we need to pretend to be carefree and messing around there.”

“Huh? I thought you said that there wasn’t any time left? Now you want me to act carefree?”

Yuuji then said something that confused me even more. Maybe this is about starting the war.

“This is to convince Class B and D that we are oblivious to what is happening. If our act isn’t seen through, we’ll be able to buy some time from Class B and let Class D declare war on us.”

Classes A to D are all located at the third floor of the new school building. We’re acting carefree to let them think that Class F isn’t replenishing their points. Class B will think that we don’t know anything, and will thus continue to replenish their points; and Class D will think that this is a free win. As a result, both classes will fall for our trap, and we’ll be at advantage. I see, Yuuji’s planned everything carefully.