Difference between revisions of "Talk:Baccano:Volume1 Chapter3"
(New page: === Hup hup === Suggestion: Whoa there. Haha, sounds like he's taming a horse. Good suggestion, but not quite there. 'Yotto' is something said when doing heavy-lifting or exerting force, ...) |
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=== Hup hup === |
=== Hup hup === |
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| − | + | Take 2: Whoa-oh. |
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| + | My biggest issue with 'woah' is that it indicates an element of surprise... which 'yotto' doesn't :( |
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| − | Haha, sounds like he's taming a horse. Good suggestion, but not quite there. 'Yotto' is something said when doing heavy-lifting or exerting force, and usually guys say it to themselves... Similar to how you might say 'up we go'/'there we go' when you're lifting a crate. |
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| + | <s>Suggestion: Whoa there. |
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| + | Haha, sounds like he's taming a horse. Good suggestion, but not quite there. 'Yotto' is something said when doing heavy-lifting or exerting force, and usually guys say it to themselves... Similar to how you might say 'up we go'/'there we go' when you're lifting a crate.</s> |
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=== long page is long === |
=== long page is long === |
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| − | Yeah, tell me about it. This chapter felt like it would never end. But seriously, go sleep :P The |
+ | Yeah, tell me about it. This chapter felt like it would never end. But seriously, go sleep :P The |
| + | stuff's in no hurry to be edited. |
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| + | === Disappearing notes... === |
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| + | ... mean no probs! Thanks :) |
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| + | === 146: adverbs and verbs === |
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| + | Ermazing: Adverbs and their sounding like verbs. It sounds fine, but the grammar freak in me has to fix it. Still doesn't sound quite right... |
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| + | Elkin: Maybe a semi-colon would help? Tsk tsk, Grammar Nazis should know their semi-colons! (j/k) |
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| + | === 261: food chains === |
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| + | Ermazing: going for a more 'American' feel here, instead of 'such trash' |
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| + | Elkin: *thumbs up* I'm more a Brit-speaker, if you haven't already gathered |
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| + | === 281: bitter bugs === |
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| + | Ermazing: Sounds colloquial. |
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| + | Elkin: Point. |
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| + | === 403: Firo's frowning shoulder === |
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| + | "Giving two pats to Firo’s shoulder, who was scowling at the inspector..." |
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| + | Ermazing: kind of a grammer tick, here. It sounds like Firo's shoulder was scowling... but for that, the whole sentence would have to be warped around. |
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| + | Elkin: yeah, same problem. Or "Giving two pats to the shoulder of the scowling Firo..."? |
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Revision as of 13:52, 9 August 2008
Hup hup
Take 2: Whoa-oh.
My biggest issue with 'woah' is that it indicates an element of surprise... which 'yotto' doesn't :(
Suggestion: Whoa there.
Haha, sounds like he's taming a horse. Good suggestion, but not quite there. 'Yotto' is something said when doing heavy-lifting or exerting force, and usually guys say it to themselves... Similar to how you might say 'up we go'/'there we go' when you're lifting a crate.
long page is long
Yeah, tell me about it. This chapter felt like it would never end. But seriously, go sleep :P The stuff's in no hurry to be edited.
Disappearing notes...
... mean no probs! Thanks :)
146: adverbs and verbs
Ermazing: Adverbs and their sounding like verbs. It sounds fine, but the grammar freak in me has to fix it. Still doesn't sound quite right... Elkin: Maybe a semi-colon would help? Tsk tsk, Grammar Nazis should know their semi-colons! (j/k)
261: food chains
Ermazing: going for a more 'American' feel here, instead of 'such trash' Elkin: *thumbs up* I'm more a Brit-speaker, if you haven't already gathered
281: bitter bugs
Ermazing: Sounds colloquial. Elkin: Point.
403: Firo's frowning shoulder
"Giving two pats to Firo’s shoulder, who was scowling at the inspector..."
Ermazing: kind of a grammer tick, here. It sounds like Firo's shoulder was scowling... but for that, the whole sentence would have to be warped around. Elkin: yeah, same problem. Or "Giving two pats to the shoulder of the scowling Firo..."?
