User talk:Seaghyn16

Feel free to leave a comment about whatever may be on your mind. I have the page divided into sections so it will be easier for you to find the right place to post. --Krikit 05:50, 1 August 2008 (PDT)

Spice and Wolf Section

Spice and Wolf Insert Images

The Fox of Chironuppu Section

I'm kind of on hiatus for this while I work on PuiPui! so I hope nobody wants to read it that badly :)

Krikit 05:53, 26 September 2008 (PDT)

Toradora! Section

Hey Krikit, I was wondering if we are using Ryuji or Ryuuji? Thanks.

Akirasav 3:04, 19 September 2008 (PDT)

I see, his name has a double meaning. Clever on the authors part. Thanks a lot!

Akirasav 6:51, 20 September 2008 (PDT)

PuiPui! Section

Hey Krikit, would it be alright if I switched some of the 'passive voice' sentences into the 'active voice'? It will make the novel much more exciting to read. The meaning would remain the same. Thanks.

Akirasav 11:51, 25 September 2008 (PDT)

No problem. A passive voice sentence uses 'to be' verbs like: was, is, has, had, are, were, etc. An active voice sentence does not use 'to be' verbs. Examples:

Ryuuji was running to the store. (Passive)

Ryuuji ran to the store. (Active)

The first sentence is more of a statement, whereas the later is a action. The difference is subtle, but using more active voice sentences makes the overall novel more exciting to the reader.

Note that some 'to be' verbs are hard to eliminate without changing the meaning. So I will only rework sentences that are fairly obvious to improve. Hope this helps.

Akirasav 11:44, 26 September 2008 (PDT)

Isn't "was running" still active? In contrast to "ran", which would indicate Ryuuji already performed the action and has gotten to the store already, the present participle conjugation of "run" just indicates the action is still in effect. Of course, it's been a long time since I've taken an English class, but I thought passive voice followed "(to be verb)+(past tense verb)" format and　meant that the subject is not performing the action. For example, a passive sentence like "He was bitten by the dog." puts the dog rather than the actual subject in the acting position, whereas the active voice would be "The dog bit him.". Basically, the active voice maintains subject/verb linkage, strengthening the sense of action.

Even though I've started using plain past tense rather generously, I think the top sentence more closely follows the tensing in Japanese novels, which tend towards present/stative language. I also see a lot of instances where the verbs are explicitly conjugated into passive/(passive+causative) form, which I normally switch into active unless I forget. Active does tend to flow more smoothly, but progressive statements are usually fine and even passive sentences can contribute a certain nuance that the active voice cannot. Just saying, be careful about altering things unless you're at least somewhat confident that the new version retains the meaning of its predecessor.

Trabius 14:09, 26 September 2008 (PDT)

So the Passive Voice of the Above, would be: "The store was run to by Ryuuji." While Active would be: "Ryuuji ran to the store." Is that what I'm hearing? If so, then by all means make those sentences into active :). As for changing was running to ran, if you think it's an improvement, then go for it. Personally, I'm all for the changes.

--Krikit 20:50, 26 September 2008 (PDT)

Trabius, I think everything you said is true. However, novels in English seem to have an exception: all past tense sentences in a novel take place in the present (from the readers perspective). So both ‘was running’ and ‘ran’ are still ‘actions that are still in effect’.

Here’s what I mean: Ryuuji was running to the store. When he got there, he bought an apple. (Passive)

Ryuuji ran to the store. When he got there, he bought an apple. (Active)

Same meaning, active voice sounds better.

Don’t worry guys, I only eliminate ‘to be’ verbs if they are obviously better suited in the active voice. Yes, many times the passive voice is the more logical choice.

Akirasav 9:03, 27 September 2008 (PDT)

Miscellaneous Stuff

About Me

This is really to show that if there is anything that doesn't pertain to the above sections, you can put it here, but use the "=== xx ===" sign to give it a category name, like this :) Thanks --Krikit 05:53, 26 September 2008 (PDT)