Kämpfer:Volume 4 Chapter 3

    Volume 4, Chapter 3  

    Saturday was a sunny day. Much better than rain.  

    We agreed to meet in front of the station. Sakura Kaede's house was within walking

distance of the school, just like mine, so it would have been more convenient to meet at the

school gate, but somehow we ended up meeting in front of the station.  

    Akane Mishima and I met at the bookstore in front of the station, planning to meet up with

Shizuku Sangou later. But Akane gave me a headache first. She stood in the bookstore

motionless.  

    "I'm sorry... there's a book I'm interested in..."  

    she said guiltily in the bookstore. It seemed like she had seen the novel she had been

looking for. However, the first volume was missing, while everything from the second volume

onwards was available. So she was very conflicted about whether to buy it  or not. She said

that it would be unfair to buy it starting from the middle.  

    I thought all this was insignificant, but it seemed very important to Akane. It's really hard

to understand what people who like books think.  

    After struggling for most of the day, Akane finally gave up. She wanted to start buying from

the first volume. Well, just go for it, why not just use Amazon?  

    She was holding a supermarket bag in her hand, and I wondered if she bought a kitchen

knife, so I asked.  

    "It's Pocky."  

    She answered. Oh~ Even if I'm not in bulldog mode, I still like this snack.  

    About ten minutes later than agreed, Akane and I arrived at the fountain at the south gate

of the station.  

    Shizuku was already waiting there.  

    "You're too late."  

    She said so when she saw us.  

    "Sorry."  

    "I was hit on by three guys on the way here. There are so many idle people in this world."  

    "What about them?"  

    "My nose, ears, and chin must be hurting."  

    You're really awesome. You guys should be picky about who you're hitting on.  

    That being said, it's probably natural for men to want to hit on Shizuku. Shizuku was

wearing a black jacket and jeans. It was a casual outfit, but it suited her perfectly. She looked

like an idol no matter how you looked at her, making your heart beat  fast. By the way, I was

also wearing jeans, but the top was white. Akane was wearing a skirt.  

    I've become a woman. Although there's a possibility that Shizuku and Akane will be

affected by my transformation, they're different from me, so they'll probably find a way to

control themselves.  

    Shizuku looked at Akane and said,  

    "You like cute outfits."  

    Akane hid behind me instantly.  

    "What's wrong? I didn't do anything."  

    "..."

    Because it was before the transformation, it entered weak mode. If it was fierce dog mode,

whether the opponent was Shizuku or Tyson, they would fight to the death, but now seeing

the puppy like this, it was so sad.  

    "You can't beat Kaede like this."  

    Hey, hey, hey, why are you pouring fuel on the fire? Their relationship is really bad.  

    Shizuku didn't intend to say anything more.  

    "Let's go."  

    So she said.  

    "If we stand here, we will be hit on again. Even though there are three people, we don't

know."  

    Shizuku was more familiar with the place, so she led the way.  

    Sakura Kaede's apartment is a little further away from the station. Along the way, Shizuku

told me that Sakura Kaede's parents were both diplomats, so they were all overseas. Their

situation was similar to mine, but much higher -end.  

    The entrance was an automatic door, and Shizuku pressed the button for her room

number. She waved at the camera, and the door opened.  

    Sakura Kaede's house was on the twelfth floor, a very nice location. In the city, the higher

the floor, the more sunlight and the higher the price. In the city, water flows to the lower

places, and people live upstairs.  

    After I pressed the doorbell, Sakura Kaede opened the door.  

    "Welcome!"  

    Sakura Kaede beamed upon seeing me.  

    "Natsuru -san, you're really here! I'm so happy."  

    "...Where, where?"  

    Then, looking behind me,  

    "Mishima -san's here too."  

    "..."

    "Come in, I don't mind."  

    Although they didn't say why, sparks flew between us, like fireworks.  

    "Please come in, you're welcome."  

    The three of us went inside.  

    The house was a 3LDK, too big for one person. It seemed to be named after her father.  

    "It's lonely living alone,"  

    Sakura Kaede said a little embarrassedly.  

    "It's especially quiet in the winter. Sometimes I even sleep with the lights on."  

    Wow, so cute! If you just ask, I'll come to you on the street to comfort you. Of course, it's

me, the guy.  

    At this moment, Sakura Kaede looked at me and said,  

    "That... the guy Natsuru -san..."  

    Huh?  

    "Did the male Natsuru classmate talk to you or bother you?"  

    "...No, that's not the case..."  

    "I don't know why he's been asking about your visit today, like he really wants to come...

He's a nice guy, but, how should I put it, he's a bit annoying..."  

    Sakura Kaede seemed a little annoyed. "Sorry, it's just as you said."  

    Out of my special position, I tried to comfort Sakura Kaede by saying,  

    "No, nothing..."  

    "Really?"  

    "He's still quite honest..."  

    I tried to justify myself, but it turned out to be such a shameful thing, and Sakura Kaede

seemed unable to accept it.  

    She looked at me with a slightly pointed lip.  

    "Anyway, Natsuru -san just likes male Natsuru -san."  

    "Not really..."  

    I'm not a narcissist.  

    "But we're alone today."  

    She turned and went to the living room. It was huge, about 30 square meters. The table

was already set with cups and snacks.  

    "Please eat first,"  

    Sakura Kaede said.  

    "I'm making French fries right now."  

    So she went into the kitchen, and indeed she heard the sound of frying.  

    We felt embarrassed to eat or drink without the host, but we still poured juice into the

cup.  

    Akane looked around the room.  

    "...There are so many dirty dolls."  

    She sighed, and I felt the same way.  

    The living room was full of products related to dirty dolls, and they were all things I had

never seen or heard of. For example, the clock hanging on the wall, the dirty insides of the

"Hit-and-Run Hippo" became the second hand, spinning around and aro und. This must be

what the nightmare was referring to.  

    "President, you are Sakura Kaede's childhood sweetheart, right? Did you know she was so

keen on dirty dolls?"  

    "I didn't know until she gave me the doll."  

    As expected, there are probably not ten people in Japan who have this hobby.  

    "Sorry to have kept you waiting."  

    Sakura Kaede arrived with some French fries. I'd thought they were just the same fries

you'd find at a fast food restaurant, but I wasn't expecting them to come with a variety of

small cakes, all made by Sakura Kaede herself.  

    "They all taste different,"  

    Sakura Kaede said.  

    "Please enjoy them."  

    Of course, I'll savor them with every ounce of my being.  

    Then came the toasts, with everyone drinking juice —no alcohol, of course, since we were

all underage.  

    "I'm so glad you came,"  

    Sakura Kaede repeated the words she'd spoken when she'd greeted us at the door.  

    "Because Natsuru -san is coming, I've been cleaning since yesterday. I've made the house

sparkle."  

    It looked spotless. She'll definitely be a good wife and mother. She's kind, likes to clean,

and is also good at cooking. A man like me might be the perfect partner.  

    "Shizuku hasn't been here in ages."  

    "Yeah."  

    Shizuku was drinking cola, which went really well with the black stuff.  

    "The last time she was here was in elementary school, I think."  

    "Shizuku was overseas back then, attending a violin competition or something."  

    "You remember it so clearly."  

    "But when you came to my house, you were always listening to comedian tapes."  

    "I still listen to them sometimes. 'Shisei' is still great, and I like 'Enka' too, but her voice

hasn't been so strong lately."  

    This guy really loves comedians, worthy of being a childhood dream.  

    "Kaede has been collecting strange things since elementary school, like bent nails and

broken plates."  

    "Those are my most precious things."  

    "At first, I wondered what a broken glass ball could be used for."  

    What a strange hobby. Collecting dirty dolls now is probably just an extension of that time.

(From Sakura Kaede's perspective) The things I collect are getting cuter and cuter.  

    Sakura Kaede noticed a supermarket bag on the table.  

    "Oh...is this a Pocky?"  

    "Yes...I bought it."  

    "Can I have some?"  

    "Hmm..."  

    Akane took the Pocky out of the bag and opened it. It had the most ordinary chocolate

flavor.  

    Sakura Kaede smiled.  

    "Everyone, let's play Pocky Game."  

    What the hell, I thought of that. Shizuku had no expression, and Akane wondered.  

    "Excuse me... what is it..."  

    "Draw lots or play rock -paper -scissors, and the two people who are chosen have to eat a

Pocky stick from both ends."  

    "Eh... eh!?"  

    Akane's face suddenly turned red, not knowing what she was imagining.  

    "Well... in other words... in the end..."  

    "What will happen~"  

    "This kind of thing...!"  

    "Everyone is playing."  

    I don't know where this "everyone" is.  

    Sakura Kaede took out a pen and paper and immediately started making lots, the kind in

the shape of a tree. Fold the paper in the middle and hide it, so that only the starting and

ending points can be seen. A and B are written at the ending points.  

    "Write your name on it... before that."  

    Sakura Kaede took out a Pocky stick.  

    "I'll show you first, and please help me, Natsuru."  

    "Help...?"  

    Sakura Kaede didn't answer, but bit one end of the Pocky stick.  

    "What...what...!"  

    It wasn't me who had my blood pressure rising, but Akane.  

    "Why is it Natsuru -san...!"  

    "It's just a demonstration."  

    "Sakura Kaede can do it alone...!"  

    "I can't do it alone. I have to ask Natsuru -san for help."  

    Sakura Kaede crawled towards me, Pocky in her mouth.  

    "Natsuru -san, ah~~"  

    "What 'ah~~'?"  

    Akane adorably erupted, insisting that either the Pocky Game or the demonstration be

canceled.  

    "I won't approve of it if it's just Natsuru -san and Sakura Kaede..."  

    "We entered a beauty pageant."  

    "I entered too, and I bought this box of Pocky...!"  

    "So what?"  

    "No, no...!"  

    With even the ownership of the snacks at stake, Sakura Kaede was helpless and gave up

the demonstration. By the way, I was speechless during this period. Ah...how shameless.  

    After a lot of fussing, they skipped the demonstration game and started straight away.  

    First, Sakura Kaede wrote the name "Kaede" above the tree shape and handed me the

pen.  

    "Here, Natsuru -san, write it."  

    "Hmm..."  

    "The second spot from the right seems good."  

    "...I've already written it."  

    Akane snatched the pen from me and wrote "Akane" in the second position from the right,

then added more horizontal bars in the middle of the tree.  

    "That's it."  

    "Wow..."  

    Sakura Kaede's expression seemed to say, "You're really good."  

    Shizuku quickly finished, and I wrote "Natsuru" last.  

    "Let's begin."  

    Sakura Kaede used a red pen to underline the name.  

    "I'm...ah...what a pity."  

    Sakura Kaede didn't win, and she looked really disappointed. It was my turn next.  

    "Natsuru -san...ah, didn't win either."  

    Both of us missed, and so...  

    "Me, me and the president!?"  

    Akane stumbled.  

    Finally, I can explain the rules for those who don't know. Pocky Game is two people eating

from both ends of a Pocky stick. The first one to let go loses. This meant that Akane and

Shizuku would play this game face -to-face. Of course, the fewer Pocky s ticks there were, the

more complicated the situation became.  

    "Just...just consider me defeated...!"  

    "No giving up. There's no winning without a fight, and there's no losing without a fight."  

    Sakura Kaede disagreed, taking out another Pocky stick and offering it to the two of them.  

    "Here, please."  

    "Uuuu..."  

    Akane muttered.  

    "President...is it all right?"  

    "It doesn't matter."  

    "It doesn't matter" —what did she mean by "it doesn't matter"? Her expression was

unclear, but she didn't waver at all. Reliable, indeed.  

    Akane timidly took a bite of one end, while Shizuku quickly followed suit.  

    "Let's begin,"  

    Sakura Kaede ordered, and the two began eating.  

    Although it's not limited to Pocky Games, when two people eat the same thing, the

posture is very uneasy. If the two people don't support each other, the food will fall apart.  

    Akane and Shizuku crossed their arms, and gradually felt like they were hugging each

other.  

    "Mm -! Mm -!"

    Akane was making noises, but Shizuku was eating very calmly.  

    "Wow, it'll...longer..."  

    "...Be quiet."  

    Eat eat eat eat eat... The two people's lips were close, and Sakura Kaede and I watched

with bated breath unconsciously.  

    "It'll...will...longer...I can't breathe...Mmm!!"  

    "Just a little bit more..."  

    Suddenly Shizuku hugged Akane with her back to us.  

    "Mmm -!!"

    We couldn't see what happened, and could only hear Akane's sad cry as if her mouth was

blocked.  

    Akane's feet kept kicking up and down, and after a while, they finally stopped moving.  

    The two separated, and Shizuku sat back on the sofa.  

    "I won."  

    What did she win? Akane blushed and lowered her head. It seems that you won.  

    "Shizuku... you are so brave..."  

    Sakura Kaede exclaimed.  

    "Really?"  

    "Yes..."  

    "I prefer kissing boys."  

    "Shizuku... have you kissed a boy?"  

    The person being asked said perfunctorily, "Who knows?" But in an instant, her eyes

turned to me, and my heart beat faster.  

    Akane, who had not yet recovered from the shock, tried to stand up and sat back in her

seat.  

    "Are you okay?"  

    Facing my answer,  

    "Yes, but... how should I put it... it was amazing..."  

    A magical answer, what was so amazing?  

    Akane gulped down her juice, perhaps to calm herself. Sakura Kaede said as she opened a

new bottle of drink.  

    "Round two then."  

    "Well, just now it was Shizuku and Mishima -san, so this time it's me and Natsuru -san."  

    "...Why...!"  

    It was Akane who protested, looking like she was about to spit out her juice.  

    "Aren't we just drawing lots...?"  

    "I'm not doing it because it wastes too much paper."  

    "Can't we just use the back of the calendar?"  

    "My calendars are all dirty doll series, they won't be torn."  

    As a collector, tearing them up is probably unthinkable.  

    Akane continued to protest, but Sakura Kaede had already prepared the Pocky.  

    "Come on, Natsuru -san,"  

    she smiled, letting me bite the Pocky.  

    "No...!"  

    Akane's head was steaming.  

    "Didn't Mishima -san already do it with Shizuku?"  

    "That was the result of a lottery."  

    "Even to the extent of it?"  

    "What... what do you mean by that extent...! Anyway, I won't accept it unless we draw

lots."  

    Akane thrust the paper at Sakura Kaede. Perhaps overwhelmed by the pressure, Sakura

Kaede said, "...I know," and scribbled down her name. After all four of them had finished,

they began.  

    "...Ah, no win again."  

    "No win either."  

    These two sentences came from Sakura Kaede and Shizuku, respectively, which meant...  

    Akane's face grew redder.  

    "...It was me and Natsuru -san."  

    Huh?  

    "...What's that!"  

    Of course, it was Sakura Kaede who started the argument.  

    "That's too much, it's not fair."  

    "...It's not unfair, it's the result of a fair draw."  

    Akane retorted. The offense and defense switched, and now Akane was the one receiving

the blame.  

    "There's nothing we can do..."  

    "Mishima -san, you're playing Pocky Game with Natsuru -san?"  

    "I know, I, I don't have that kind of interest... Although I don't, there's nothing we can do.

It's decided by drawing lots..."  

    She kept repeating that it was decided by drawing lots.  

    As the other party involved, I was speechless. Uh... In other words, holding a Pocky with

Akane?  

    It's much better than doing it with Shizuku, but with Akane, I never thought about it.  

    She kept saying "There's nothing we can do, there's nothing we can do." and prepared the

Pocky, looking very happy.  

    Quietly holding the handle of the Pocky in my mouth,  

    "Natsuru -san..."  

    The words were vague but the meaning was clear. I held the Pocky in my mouth while

bathing in the jealous gaze of Sakura Kaede.  

    In front of me was Akane's face, but I didn't feel anything. Although she is very cute, I don't

feel anything. By the way, why are you slightly closing your eyes?  

    I started to bite the chocolate part.  

    "Let's start..."  

    Biting, biting, biting... Because my body was about to fall, I grabbed Akane's hand, and

Akane also held my hand tightly.  

    "Mishima -san, you can't hold it so tightly!" Sakura Kaede's protest was naturally ignored.

Akane started to wrap her arms around my arm.  

    Her face was getting closer and closer.  

    "Akane..."  

    "Just like that..."  

    What do you mean just like that? It's completely different from when we played with

Shizuku, so bold. Um, the lips are getting closer.  

    Even though it's cute and doesn't feel anything, being this close still raises my blood

pressure. Akane shows no signs of stopping. Hey, aren't you going to stop? Ah...  

    Sakura Kaede is fuming, Shizuku is silent, and my heart is racing.  

    "Natsuru -san..."  

    I can't help but turn my head away as we're nearing our limit.  

    The Pocky breaks with a soft snap, and I quickly finish the rest.  

    "Just consider it... I lost,"  

    Sakura Kaede pats her chest blatantly, sighing with relief. Akane seems a little dissatisfied.  

    "...Why don't you continue?"  

    "No..."  

    "Why?"  

    "Because...I think Akane can find a more suitable partner,"  

    I answered hurriedly.  

    "Not between girls, but let your boyfriend do it..."  

    It sounded like an excuse but it was also the truth. It's better for Akane to do it with the

man I like than with the girl.  

    "..."

    Akane turned her head away and seemed to mutter something like "I didn't even notice..."

I guess I was overthinking it.  

    Akane started drinking juice in big gulps again. Is it a way to lower blood pressure?  

    The juice in her glass was finished, and I wanted to pour it, but Sakura Kaede said "I'll do it"

and filled it with orange juice. Huh? Is the opposition gone?  

    I picked up the freshly fried French fries and put them in my mouth. It's not salty enough. I

like it saltier.  

    The Pocky Game ended in a blur after just two rounds.  

    Finally, there was nothing more to talk about.  

    "...There are so many dirty dolls."  

    Akane looked around the room, and Sakura Kaede also forgot about the previous grudge

and smiled.  

    "A lot~"  

    "That's a lot..."  

    "As for the living room, I decorated it specially today, especially for Natsuru to see."  

    She emphasized my name. So there's still an antagonistic relationship, Akane froze.  

    But yeah, so many dirty dolls are really spectacular, it's like a zoo.  

    "What do you think, Natsuru -san?"  

    "...Amazing..."  

    I couldn't find any other words to say, just like a calendar hanging on the wall, the dirt

rotted a little bit as the month progressed. The pen holder even stuck the pen into the

intestines.  

    "I'm so glad you like it."  

    "...Well...it's okay..."  

    "By the way,"  

    she clapped her hands and said,  

    "There are a lot of things in the next room too, please come and have a look."  

    She stood up without waiting for our answer. It would be too...what if the owner wasn't

there, so we had no choice but to follow her.  

    She led us to a room of about twelve square meters and opened the door with a smile.  

    "This is my children's room."  

    "Wow..."  

    If I wasn't afraid of losing my composure, my waist would have given way. Every corner was

filled with dirty dolls.  

    This is much more spectacular than the living room. Not to mention the dolls, there are

also tableware, books, stamps, novels, DVDs, and even models. Where are all these made?  

    The model of the Black Rabbit doing seppuku is so exquisite. The one holding the Japanese

sword in the back is a kaishaku (a sword used during seppuku rituals to prevent the person

from being unable to proceed due to the intense pain). Is it a backgrou nd decoration?  

    "It's a limited edition,"  

    Sakura Kaede answered my question.  

    "It looks like it was made by someone. Look, the rectum is very realistic,"  

    Sakura Kaede pointed it out excitedly.  

    Akane and I were both at a loss. Shizuku didn't say anything, but it seemed she was also

surprised.  

    As a fan, Sakura Kaede was also keen to share her hobby. Ignoring our opinions, she began

to explain.  

    She pointed to the cat stuffed animal in the glass box.  

    "This is a limited edition item, and you can replace the dirty lining. Since it can only be

purchased by mail, I thought that if I didn't buy it, I would have to buy it at the auction."  

    I knew this too. I remember that only six people in Japan bought it. I didn't expect that one

of them would be here.  

    Then she pulled out a large book.  

    "This one's a flying book."  

    "...Flies?"  

    "Natsuru, please look away."  

    I stared at the book with the wild boar painted on its fingernails. It was for a younger

audience, wasn't it? There's no worse moral education than this.  

    After a while, something suddenly flew out of my mouth.  

    "Wow...!"  

    Think of it as an upgraded version of the Safari Portraits, now in 3D. Isn't it a problem to

use high -tech in a place like this?  

    Sakura Kaede couldn't help but laugh.  

    "Isn't it fun? I could look at this all day and never get tired of it."  

    I stopped talking before I got tired of it.  

    There are so many things! That toy manufacturer really made so many. No one would use

the pillow in there, right? It's like sleeping with a corpse.  

    But I still asked,  

    "Do you want to use the dakimakura...?"  

    "No,"  

    Sakura Kaede said immediately.  

    "I can't bear to use it. It's a limited edition, just for decoration."  

    I figured it wasn't a limited edition, but rather that they couldn't sell it, so they stopped

making it.  

    Sakura Kaede's collecting habit is really like a boy's. She bought dakimakura with character -

themed dakimakura, even though she initially thought they weren't for women.  

    Akane fearfully poked at the rubber stamp shaped like her insides, while Shizuku remained

motionless in front of a Seppuku Tiger T -shirt. It said "Seppuku YES! Beheading NO!" It was

completely incomprehensible.  

    Just looking at this, you can fully understand Sakura Kaede's deep -seated love for dirty

dolls. Most people wouldn't understand, especially given the rumor that a shareholder

meeting caused a disturbance that alerted the special police. Even from a shareholder's

perspective, this brand must be a disgrace.  

    She said enchantedly,  

    "I've collected almost all of them..."  

    Yeah, I see.  

    "But there are too many dolls to fit here, so some are in the next room. Come and see."  

    The next room was also filled with dirty dolls, covering every type and with more than one

of each. This is just the habit of enthusiasts, saving them for viewing. In the warehouses of

wealthy merchants during the Edo period, swords used to pay off deb ts were said to groan

nightly. I imagine that room must have been quite lively.  

    "I've given some to my friends, too,"  

    said Sakura Kaede. She seemed quite happy to be surrounded by dolls whose "dirtiness"

was "clearly apparent." As expected of Sakura Kaede, she transcends common sense in every

sense.  

    "And then, there's the hidden treasure,"  

    she said, rummaging through the cabinets.  

    "This is it."  

    She pulled out a charred lion. Sure enough, the dirt had come out, so it must be a dirty

doll, but I've never seen this before.  

    "This is the Burning Lion, the earliest of the dirty dolls."  

    No wonder I've never seen it before. Because the original figure appeared in a manga

called "The Intestines," the dirty doll seems to be a derivative of that. Hence, the Burning

Lion also has the name "The Intestines." Incidentally, this manga was said  to be so boring

that the bookstore returned it to the publisher without even opening it. Later, the manga

disappeared along with the publisher, alas.  

    "The manufacturer quickly switched to a series of dolls, so the Burning Lion is really rare."  

    "...How did you get it?"  

    "I bought it by chance,"  

    said Sakura Kaede, reminiscing.  

    "When I was in junior high school, I saw it at the door of a store and thought this was it, so

I spent all my pocket money to buy it."  

    "Oh..."  

    "It really resonates with me, because it's exactly the same as the lion I imagined before."  

    Shizuku, who had been silent until now, asked,  

    "Kaede, what do you mean by imagined before?"  

    Sakura Kaede was stunned for a moment,  

    "Did I say that?"  

    "Yeah."  

    "Well..."  

    Sakura Kaede lowered her head shyly,  

    "Didn't I read comics all the time in elementary school?"  

    "You still read them now, right?"  

    "Don't worry about it, at that time I wanted to be a cartoonist, so I thought of stories

myself."  

    "Oh..."  

    "And then there's a character in the story who's just like the Burning Lion."  

    Shizuku's eyebrows twitched, and I suppressed my hesitation. Sakura Kaede had actually

conceived of a character like the Burning Lion.  

    "Ever since then, I've been interested in adventures." Although such a complex wave of

emotions welled up in my mind, I couldn't ignore what she said.  

    Sure enough, Sakura Kaede and the mediator seemed to have some connection. Could

they be the same person? No, no, no, Sakura Kaede isn't evil at all. But there are more and

more people like us.  

    Before I knew it, Akane tugged at my sleeve, apparently thinking the same thing.  

    Shizuku's expression remained unchanged from before. She was practically inhuman, but

at this moment, she was very reliable.  

    "It was a long time ago, wasn't it?"  

    "Yeah, but I remembered it after I bought the Burning Lion."  

    "Did you start collecting the other dolls around that time too?"  

    "Yeah, I've been collecting since my first year of junior high."  

    "Back then I was... third year... ah..."  

    Shizuku seemed to be thinking about something.  

    According to what she said before, Shizuku had been a Kämpfer since her first year of high

school, two years ago. It wouldn't be surprising if she'd been a Kämpfer even before that. She

was probably sorting out her thoughts on that. By the way, she als o said something about a

senior student teaching her a lot of things, oh, that was made up.  

    "Do you often give dolls away?"  

    "Yeah, if they're a little bit nice, I will. Even if it's just a little bit, I hope they can understand

the cuteness of dirty dolls."  

    This is too difficult, but since there are so many, no matter how much I give, I can't give

them all away.  

    "The students at Seitetsu Academy gave a lot, too. Shizuku's senior also gave... right?"  

    "Kaede came to visit during the cultural festival and the sports meet."  

    "I even got scolded when I gave the doll to the person who won the relay race."  

    The manufacturer should be very satisfied after making it this far, and should probably give

Sakura Kaede 100,000 shares for free.  

    Shizuku carefully examined the doll in her hand and said,  

    "Kaede, you can't give me this Burning Lion, right?"  

    "No, not even Shizuku."  

    "Do you like it that much?"  

    "This kid is really a treasure."  

    Sakura Kaede said with a smile, checking the clock.  

    "Ah, it's already this o'clock, we need to prepare dinner."  

    "No, Kaede, let's go out to eat."  

    "It's rare that Natsuru -san is here, I must cook it myself. Natsuru -san, let's go after we

finish eating?"  

    "Sure..."  

    There is nothing happier than being able to eat food made by Sakura Kaede herself. Even

though I'm a woman now, my dream is to one day experience it as a man.  

    "Wow~~"  

    Sakura Kaede excitedly went to the kitchen. It seemed like she was really eager to cook,

and she even went to the library to borrow books.  

    The ingredients seemed to have been bought, and soon the sound of a kitchen knife

cooking could be heard.  

    "I want to make Italian. Is there anything you don't eat?"  

    "It's okay, don't worry about it,"  

    Shizuku replied. Then she whispered,  

    "What do you think?"  

    "...What you said just now?"  

    I looked at the ceiling and said,  

    "Of course."  

    "...The same thing the president thinks."  

    I replied, feeling annoyed at having said it again.  

    It was finally confirmed that Sakura Kaede and Kämpfer were related. I didn't know if she

was the mediator, but it all definitely started with the Burning Lion.  

    "Was it the mediator who chose Kaede, or was it the other way around..."  

    "Hey, what's the other way around?"  

    "Shouldn't we consider all possibilities?"  

    "I don't want to doubt Sakura Kaede too much."  

    Such a beautiful person is the mediator or anything else, my obsession remains the same.

Sakura Kaede's angelic image remains, and I can see angel -like wings behind her.  

    "I'm speechless about you."  

    From Shizuku's tone, it was impossible to tell what she was speechless about, and Akane's

words made her cheeks puff out inexplicably. Tsk, women just can't understand this unusual

love.  

    "There are indeed some things that need to be investigated further."  

    Shizuku poured out the remaining juice.  

    "Still left... here...?"  

    Akane asked.  

    "Yes, ask Kaede more."  

    "But it's not just Sakura Kaede. Didn't the president say that there might be a new

Kämpfer...?"  

    "That's a possibility."  

    "Mikoto?"  

    I asked.  

    "Well, if nothing unexpected happens, Kondou Mikoto has other responsibilities besides

fighting. The closer I get to the truth, the more unhappy the mediator will be."  

    "Mikoto isn't necessarily the mediator's subordinate..."  

    "She attacked Seno -san, didn't she?"  

    "That guy is famous."  

    "I think it's because my relationship with Seno -san is closer."  

    It was you who deepened it by being a rogue.  

    It's all Shizuku's fault. Our relationship is really getting deeper and deeper. It's better not to

talk to her, otherwise you will be caught unilaterally.  

    "Seno -san?"  

    "...Hmm?"  

    "What's wrong? You seem to want to say something."  

    "No, no, nothing."  

    No, Shizuku's intuition is too sharp, and it seems that she has to control whatever is in her

mind.  

    "Sorry to have kept you waiting~"  

    Sakura Kaede brought a large plate with steaming spaghetti.  

    "I'll get the small plates right away, Mishima -san, please clear the table."  

    "Okay, okay."  

    It was time for dinner, and the conversation stopped.  

    Sakura Kaede made Italian food, something like Neapolitan style, but to be honest, I don't

know. It was spaghetti with clams, and then there was fried squid, salad, and garlic bread.

The main course was bone -in herb -roasted veal.  

    The taste was impeccable, as expected of Sakura Kaede's first -class cooking.  

    Shizuku ate silently. She usually didn't comment but she didn't find fault either, so she

probably thought it was delicious. Akane also said, "It's delicious..." It's delicious, but why do

you look so unwilling?  

    After eating for a while, Sakura Kaede said,  

    "By the way, I bought a rare video a while ago. Let's watch it together."  

    She pulled something out from under the TV. It was a VHS package, a video about dirty

dolls. Huh? Different from what you see in the theater?  

    "It's an early OVA, a masterpiece."  

    So we watched it, and it was indeed a masterpiece, from another perspective.  

    The setting is the Warring States period (the setting itself is embarrassing), and the story

begins after the young Jailgate Wolf is torn into pieces by a barbarian monster, imprisoned by

an Indian elephant, and his entire body is extracted. After all the dirt is extracted, he should

be dead, but he isn't (anyone who doubts this will die tomorrow, surprisingly, such a

surprising hint has appeared). After crying for three days and three nights, the Jailgate Wolf

embarks on a journey to seek revenge on th e torn Indian elephant. He then travels around

the world, retrieving his dirt one by one. It's a story that's a mix of "Mito Komon" and

"Dororo."  

    Furthermore, this anime seems to have been produced in collaboration with a medical

university, and the depiction of dirt is remarkably realistic. That's all we can say for sure. The

next part is a continuation of the radio story, and the retrieval of the dirt is quickly forgotten,

followed by a meaningless swimsuit scene (it's an animal, alas), followed by tennis and shogi

matches. I'm at a loss for words when I work with a druid from Scotland to summon a UFO to

Lunar Base Alpha. Then the moon breaks f ree from Earth's orbit and floats into space. What

happened to the Jailgate Wolf? This is "Space 1999," right?  

    "From here on, the exciting story unfolds."  

    Sakura Kaede struggled to explain,  

    "The 'charcoal -burning hormone army' will attack the lunar base. Look, right here."  

    The screen showed the entrails, holding a "Fresh Sale" flag, attacking the lunar base. Of

course, there was nothing so unappealing as wearing space suits.  

    The entrails fired as they climbed the slope, pressing themselves against the city walls.  

    "This is a faithful re -creation of a Warring States -era siege."  

    Was it necessary to recreate it on the moon?  

    As I forced myself to watch, a bluish -white entrails calling themselves the "Garman Entry

Empire" appeared and began an indiscriminate attack. It looked a bit like the Gamilas Empire

in the "Space Battleship Yamato." Copyrights and such were a concern,  weren't they?  

    The battle raged for several hours (in the film) before inexplicably ending. As a sign of

goodwill, they were high on LSD (a psychoactive drug). Ah... there's a scene like that in the

movie, too.  

    "Fans said it was a failure, so it was reworked in the movie."  

    The drug causes the mind to go blank and the characters to have schizophrenic dreams,

but does that have anything to do with the plot? It just feels like the three primary colors are

wiggling around.  

    "...Where's the protagonist?"  

    I asked, having not seen Jailgate for a long time.  

    "Hmm?"  

    "Why is the protagonist gone...?"  

    "Natsuru -san, that's right, Jailgate Wolf just died."  

    Sakura Kaede laughed and stepped back. From where the moon deviated from Earth's

orbit, something like a grain of rice was thrown out from space.  

    "That's Jailgate Wolf. He died here and will never appear again."  

    "...Oh,"  

    Sakura Kaede said. "No way."  

    "If you can't even see through that, you can't be a fan of the dirty dolls."  

    I'm so sorry, I don't want to call myself that.  

    The video continued, but I barely watched it. Akane, unable to eat her pasta due to the

overly realistic dirty stuff, sat there lost. Shizuku didn't even glance at what she said, and ate

her meal with a determined look.  

    It finally ended. The climax, with the lost moon and the dirt dancing hand in hand in a field

of flowers in a black hole, was a truly captivating scene.  

    Sakura Kaede was incredibly pleased to share her favorite video with everyone.  

    "That's really interesting."  

    "...Yeah,"  

    I said, unable to do anything but nod. My head was spinning. Shizuku glanced at me briefly,

then looked at the clock and said,  

    "...It's getting late."  

    She must have been calculating the time, perhaps out of consideration. I can only pray that

I'll never have to watch something like this again.  

    "It's almost time to go home."  

    "Not staying overnight?"  

    Sakura Kaede said disappointedly.  

    "That's what I was thinking."  

    "That's embarrassing."  

    "It's okay. It's lonely living alone all the time."  

    "Then it'll be just as easy to be alone tonight."  

    "Ah~ Shizuku is so cold. Then I'll stay overnight with Natsuru -san."  

    Oh, me, me!?  

    Sakura Kaede stood up and tried to sit next to me.  

    "Natsuru -san will stay, right?"  

    "..."

    "Will she?"  

    Staying overnight is fine, but you have to be mentally prepared.  

    But Sakura Kaede seemed to have made up her mind and said something like, "The

pajamas and bedding are ready."  

    "Natsuru -san, one night is okay, right?"  

    Well, I live alone too. I've been fine for six months, not just one night.  

    "Uh..."  

    "Well~ please be quick, I will make breakfast for you."  

    When she was about to sit down, Akane suddenly interrupted,  

    "Wait... please wait a minute, why does Natsuru want to stay..."  

    Sakura Kaede was stunned for a moment and immediately retorted,  

    "Because we are friends, that's natural."  

    "Not natural, it's too weird to spend the night with Natsuru."  

    "It's not weird."  

    "This... that... is not pure..."  

    Sakura Kaede was excited,  

    "What... what is impure? Is there anything impure about two girls staying together for one

night?"  

    "... Sakura Kaede... definitely did something impure..."  

    "It was Mishima who did something impure to Natsuru! When changing clothes... touching

breasts and so on... such enviable things..."  

    "It's to... protect Natsuru -san...!"  

    No, no, no, this is already strange enough.  

    And then the situation gets even more complicated. Akane has an incredibly strong

competitive streak towards Sakura Kaede. It seems like she disapproves of everything Sakura

Kaede does. And Sakura Kaede is the same way. She won't even glance at a guy l ike me, but

she's obsessed with a girl. It's getting confusing.  

    Sakura Kaede and Akane seem to be arguing, and both are taking it very seriously. Why are

they taking it so seriously?  

    "It's so late, we can't let Natsuru go back alone."  

    "I'll go with you...!"  

    "Aren't you going back, Akane? I can lend you a taxi fare."  

    "If I go back, Natsuru will be fucked...!"  

    "Please don't talk like a beast!"  

    "That's the same thing...!"  

    Both of them were very excited, and although they didn't fight, they didn't intend to give

in. They were arguing with their own reasons rather than their own emotions. I felt like I was

going to fall apart as I listened to them. Women are so scary.  

    They suddenly turned to me at the same time,  

    "Natsuru, you're staying overnight, right?!"  

    "You're not going to stay overnight, are you?...!?"  

    I couldn't answer. Of course, emotionally, staying overnight was fine, but if I showed my

joy, I was worried about what Akane would do. Specifically, she would transform and shoot.  

    What should I do? Thinking of this, it was Shizuku who interrupted.  

    "Let's stay overnight."  

    "Huh...?"  

    It was me who said such a shameless thing.  

    "Not just Seno -san, why don't all three of us stay? That way, Mishima -san will feel at ease.

Kaede, can you stay?"  

    "I've made preparations..."  

    "Then it's no problem. Mishima -san, please contact your family. If you don't have enough

breakfast ingredients, you can go buy them later. Seno -san, you can come too."  

    "Me...me?"  

    I pointed at myself.  

    "Of course."  

    Shizuku's implication was that "there's no room for negotiation."  

    "You're the root cause."  

    She said that,  

    and the three of us stayed overnight together. The pajamas and futon were borrowed from

Sakura Kaede.  

    Even though they were pajamas, my heart was really racing just to be able to wear Sakura

Kaede's clothes. No, I should say that it was the pajamas that made me so excited. Think

about it, pajamas are in direct contact with the skin, and the futon is al so for Sakura Kaede.

Oh no, it should be a guest futon, well, it doesn't matter.  

    Shizuku looked at me excitedly with an expressionless face. "So you don't want to stay..."

was her line, why did she have to say that?  

    When are we going to sleep, now? But it's too early. It's not good to be anxious. As they

say, you can't eat hot tofu in a hurry.  

    "Are there any rooms?"  

    Sakura Kaede quickly answered Shizuku's question.  

    "There's a room that's unoccupied. Please sleep in that one. I've been sleeping in the

collection room."  

    They say being surrounded by dirty dolls can help you sleep peacefully, but I'm afraid it'll

give me nightmares.  

    "Then let's go shopping,"  

    Shizuku said, and I felt relieved for some reason.  

    "Ah, rather than buying things,"  

    Sakura Kaede put her hands together, her expression as if saying she had a good idea.

"Shall we all go to the bathhouse together?"  

    Hey hey hey hey hey —— !?

    If I make a sound, I'll reveal that I'm a man, so I'm shocked. Bathhouse, what kind of

bathhouse?  

    Bathing with Sakura Kaede, this is the men's department of Seitetsu Academy, no, all of

Japan, no no. The opportunity that men all over the world dream of has actually fallen on my

head, how happy I am. This shock is like Spring Festival, New Year's Day, spring and autumn

all coming at the same time. Or it could be the lottery jackpot.  

    But the problem is that I'm a woman now, and I've never regretted my female self, that is,

my Kämpfer self. Well, if I were a man, I probably wouldn't even be invited.  

    People who say that I can just go as a woman don't understand my feelings. No matter

what, I must go to the bathroom and the bathhouse as a man. This is a line that I absolutely

cannot cross.  

    Sakura Kaede was a little puzzled,  

    "...Natsuru -san, what's wrong?"  

    "No... that's a bit surprising..."  

    "Have you never taken a bath with a girl?"  

    "No..."  

    Because I'm a boy, of course not.  

    Sakura Kaede was happy again,  

    "Then I'm Natsuru -san's first woman, huh~"  

    This statement would be misunderstood no matter how it was heard, and the proof was

that Akane seemed to be in a very bad mood.  

    Akane protested weakly,  

    "Sakura Kaede...this house...doesn't it have a bathroom too..."  

    "It's too crowded. It won't be convenient to go in with Natsuru."  

    Is bathing with me a prerequisite?  

    "Where shall we go..."  

    "There's a bathhouse nearby. It's now converted into a SPA. I've always wanted to go there.

It's open late."  

    Ah~ the one on TV. Sakura Kaede said that we can buy tomorrow's ingredients at the same

time.  

    Akane was about to foam at the mouth,  

    "How can we? Let's all take a bath together..."  

    "Mishima -san, let's go too."  

    "Go...of course I will go..."  

    "Then it's fine."  

    "But with Natsuru -san..."  

    "We can't let Natsuru -san stay here alone."  

    This time, Sakura Kaede has the advantage. There's a fundamental question: "Wouldn't it

be okay for everyone to take turns using the bathroom at home?" But Sakura Kaede seems to

insist on everyone showering together.  

    Shizuku neither agrees nor disagrees. She usually doesn't have an opinion in situations like

this, letting everyone express their opinions and then cleaning up the mess, as expected of

the Student Council President.  

    The problem is undoubtedly me.  

    (Hey, can you object for me?)  

    I whisper to Shizuku.  

    (Why?)  

    "You mean girl, are you refusing me out in public?"  

    (Why, why... I don't want to shower with a woman?)  

    (Are you telling me you're not that kind of person?)  

    (No, I won't shower as a woman!)  

    (That's my first experience.)  

    (No way!)  

    (It won't hurt.)  

    She ignores me completely. It's over. This guy seems to be enjoying watching me suffer. As

expected of a sadist at heart, red wristbands and the like are incomparable.  

    To eliminate misunderstandings, let me first explain that it’s not that I don’t want to take a

bath with girls, but I don’t want to see myself after becoming a girl. Think about it calmly, you

have always been a boy, and suddenly your body turns into a  girl. You will understand after

experiencing it in practice. Anyway, you absolutely cannot observe your own naked body.  

    My heart beats fast just by changing clothes. It’s speechless to say that I am cowardly.  

    Akane was convinced and said, "Okay then..." She is really unreliable, and she always

seems a little happy.  

    "Natsuru, let’s take a bath together."  

    Sakura Kaede’s eyes sparkled like a kitten.  

    "Uh..."  

    "Let's take a shower together."  

    "..."

    "Let's take a shower together."  

    "Okay..."  

    Wow, I finally agreed.  

    So Sakura Kaede was so happy, I feel like jumping up and down. If I wasn't the person

involved, I would definitely smile. If there were a blog, the things that happened in the

bathhouse would be uploaded in detail and would get crazy hits and replies.  

    "Um, where is the spa..."  

    In response to my question, Sakura Kaede pointed out the window.  

    "It's right there. It's a little far, but you can walk there."  

    With a smile,  

    "Let's go together and get some soap."  

    Is this the world of Kanda River?  

    Actually, this former bathhouse, now a spa, provides soap, shampoo, towels, and

bathrobes. We don't need to bring anything.  

    Sakura Kaede excitedly said, "Let's go, let's go," and started getting ready. There wasn't

much to bring, just a wallet.  

    I had nothing to do, so I just watched the others get ready. Sakura Kaede's eyes widened

when she saw me like this.  

    "...Natsuru didn't bring a bag?"  

    "No...?"  

    It seemed unbelievable, and on reflection, it was. Women rarely come empty -handed.

Even high school students, if they're determined, have a designer bag or two, and it's

perfectly normal.  

    Having nothing to do is unfeminine, and there's no way I can avoid being seen as strange.

As a man, I didn't know this, but it seems this is something I'll need to improve in the future.  

    Sakura Kaede rummaged through the cupboard and said,  

    "I'll lend you my bag."  

    "Hey... no need to bother..."  

    "Don't say that. Please use this. Here."  

    I stumbled over the thing she gave me. It was a bag with a dirty doll inside.  

    "Uh..."  

    "It's cute, right?"  

    It's not cute, it's different. This one seems to be called "Run over a Deer." There's a zipper

on the belly and the intestinal part is a handle. Are you letting me go out with this thing?  

    "It's a limited edition. It's very expensive. I've always been reluctant to use it, but it's okay,

Natsuru -san."  

    "..."

    "Please use it."  

    She said to me with an angelic smile. Looking at that face, I couldn't even say, "Is this some

kind of punishment game?"  

    Put the wallet into the belly of the crushed deer.  

    "Let's go!"  

    Sakura Kaede gave the order.  

Translator's Notes

This chapter was translated from the Chinese translation of the original Japanese text.

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